If I had only known
What if Lily had escaped Godric's Hollow with Harry? Lily revives moments with James as she watches Harry grow up. And when will James and Lily be finally reunited
James Potter sat on the living room's couch watching his son Harry sleep. It was Halloween so the laughter and whispers of kids were heard outside, nevertheless the house was protected and neither James nor Lily could go outside much specially at night.
"James!" Lily called her husband from the kitchen. James glanced at baby Harry to make sure he hadn't woken up "Sorry!" Lily said in a hushed voice "here is your tea"
"Thank you" James said kissing her softly on the lips. He handed the baby to Lily and watched her run her fingers trough Harry's thick black hair
"I've been thinking…" Lily whispered softly "when all this is over…" James gave touched her cheek. Her voice was bittersweet "and when he's a bit older" Harry had now started to suck his thumb "we could have another one, a girl maybe…"
"Yeah that'd be great" James said kissing her on the lips again. Harry whimpered softly "Maybe we should take him upstairs" James said sweetly. Lily nodded and the two of them made their way upstairs. James could feel Harry's slow breathing on his neck. He placed the boy softly on his crib; Lily closed the door behind them
They just stayed there on the couch, wrapped on each other's arms. Lily had already fallen asleep when as exhausted as he was James closed his eyes. A dry noise on the door woke him up. Lily was looking at him with those beautiful green eyes. He placed a finger on his lips and glanced towards the stairs. He started moving towards the door, but felt a certain n pull on his arm. He could see the fear on his wife's eyes. He turned around to set a quick kiss on her lips and then urged her to go and stay with Harry. Lily did as she was told and locked herself on her son's room
"Lily, it's him, grab Harry and go!" she heard James's chocked voice. Lily froze there, she didn't know whether to run or maybe go and help James. She closed her eyes and then turned to Harry. He was now wide awake. She then knew what she had to do. The rumbles downstairs brought tears to her eyes. She grabbed a blanket and wrapped Harry safely inside it. The last thing she saw before disapparating was a glow of green light and a loud scream
If I had only known
it was the last walk in the rain
Lily opened her eyes a moment later. She was standing on a wide street. Harry had now started to cry. She hadn't even had time to process what had happened. She knew James was now dead, there was no doubt about it, she then noticed there was something oddly familiar about this street. This had been where she and James had been walking the day he asked her to marry him. Rain was pouring down, but he still managed to get down on one knee and made her the most beautiful promise. Sobs began as she realized she was never going to listen to his voice again.
I'd keep you out for hours in the storm
I would hold your hand
She just stood there, lifeless, listening to Harry's heart. Her beautiful baby boy, the spitting image of his father, the boy James had longed to play Quidditch with and to tuck at night. She then decided she needed to keep moving as the October wind was starting to rage, she held her son close and made her way inside a store. Few people were there. She figured she would be safe there for the time being while she succeeded to talk to someone from the Order. Sirius or Lupin. Maybe Dumbledore. She couldn't risk using magic; she had her wand sticking out of her coat's pocket.
Like a life line to my heart
underneath the thunder we'd be warm
She didn't know where else to go. She just stayed there sitting on a chair, rockingHarry back to sleep. She then remembered how James used to make figures come out of his wand to entertain Harry when he was restless at night. The delight on his boy's eyes was all he needed to be happy. He would then just lie there with Harry on his arms until she came to wake him up. Even though she had told him that was quite dangerous, she loved watch her boys sleep
If I had only know
It was our last walk in the rain
"Poor thing" Molly Weasley had said when she arrived at her doorstep the next day. She was soaking wet and her eyes were sad and exhausted "what happened?"
"I don't know…" Lily said sobbing. Molly offered her some tea as Arthur changed Harry and fed both him and baby Ron. Lily sipped her tea with trembling eyes "but James…"
"oh, now, now dear" Molly said wrapping her arms around Lily "Dumbledore will be here any minute now, he'll know what to do"
"I'm sorry I came here Molly" Lily said "I've never meant to put your family in any danger, I just didn't know where else to go, and I didn't want Harry to be alone"
"Don't worry about that now, we've sworn to help you and that we shall, and don't worry about Harry, Ron will be of good company to him" Molly said sweetly. That night as she dreamed. Lily could see James running towards her, a big grin on his face. But then all she could see was a glimpse of green light. She then longed for his strong arms as she sobbed once more
If I had only known
I'd never hear your voice again
4 years had now passed since that night. Lily had moved to a small cottage. Harry was now a curious 5 year old boy and Lily was amazed of how much he looked like James, Merlin, he sounded like James. At night Lily would dream of the nights she spent with James at the Gryffindor common room during their last year at Hogwarts where he had first told her that he loved her. She could hear his sweet voice on her ear, whispering those words she thought she'd never hear
"Lily" He had said "I need to confess something to you" she had raised an eyebrow. Maybe he and his friends had just broken another school law. It was enough with the fact of them becoming animagus
"What?" She had said shyly. He had touched her cheek. His hand was warm and tender. His hazel eyes burned with fire and love for her
"I was such an idiot and ass" he said with repent in his voice "I knew what I did was wrong, but I have always felt the need for attention, ever since I was a boy, I never knew of boundaries and humility, not really, not until I met you"
She could see he was pleased with her sudden blushing "James I…" he had placed a finger on her lips and leaned to kiss her. Just a sweet one on the lips
"The truth is I fell in love with you since the first time I met you" James had said. She had then recalled a young James and new friend Sirius and how she had first met them at Hogwarts Express. They had been forced to share a compartment as elsewhere was full. It had been her and Severus sitting across him and Sirius. Since that first moment she had felt something for the boy with thick black hair and she couldn't tell for sure but maybe he had felt something for her too. "So as I've now gathered the valor to tell you that I love you"
"I love you too" she had said planting a kiss on the tip of his nose
I'd memorize each thing you ever said
And on those lonely nights
As time passed Lily's nightmare of the night of the attack on Godric's Hollow became more and more frequent. She would wake up panting and in cold sweat only to hear James's voice whisper that it would get better and that she would be okay and that he loved her. It could be true that he was dead but for her it would never be too strange to have James whisper to her that he loved her
Harry would constantly ask about James and every time he asked Lily would tell him that his daddy had loved him very much and that he was now in heaven watching over them
I could think of them once more
keep your words alive inside my head
Lily would on the other hand dream of the day he had asked her to marry him. They had been walking for quite a while in the park, then they had sat down to enjoy the warm summer. They had prepared a picnic and as he fed her and occasionally steal a kiss of two, James had gotten down on one knee. Excitement on his eyes, but also quite a bit of nervousness
"I have loved you since I was 11 years old, and even though we often got in each other's nerves and I was quite an idiot for not being better, you've been what has made be better and it is because of you and your love that today I can nothing but love ask you if you'd do me the honor of becoming my wife
If I had only known
I'd never hear your voice again
Harry was now ten years old. In a year's time he would become of age and go to Hogwarts
"Mum?" Harry had asked one day over at breakfast "what if I made Slytherin?" Harry had asked that question before. She of course knew that Severus was head of the snake's house and d that he had no interest in Harry as he was James's son and it was clear to Lily that Snape had never forgiven James for his actions during school
"Don't you worry Harry" Sirius had said to Harry, he and Lupin would often come and have breakfast with them "you have a safe spot at Gryffindor
"What makes you say that?" Harry asked. He turned to his mother who gave Sirius and disapproving look
"You can't tell him that! He might as well end up in Ravenclaw for all we know" Lupin said gravely
"But that is nonsense, he's James's son a worthy Gryffindor" Sirius had said stubbornly "I can guarantee you he will be schooled by McGonagall more that we ever were"
You were the treasure in my hand
You were the one who always stood beside
"Be sure to write, I want to hear all about tonight" Lily told her son as hugging him one last time before boarding the train
"Promised mom, I will make you proud" Harry said. His thick black hair messed up covering his face. Lily kissed his forehead one last time and waved goodbye until the train was out of sight. She was sure James would be watching and waving goodbye as well. He would have been so proud, that night when Hedwig arrived with a letter from Harry just as he had promised
Dear mom:
You must tell uncle Lupin he owes money to Sirius. Both me and Ron were sorted into Gryffindor. I'm thrilled as I'm writing this to you, I know you'll be very happy and so will dad as there is again walking the corridors of Hogwarts once more and what's better yet, me a Potter, officially a Gryffindor
Sleep well, lots of love
Harry
"You must be the youngest Quidditch player since…" Ron had said to Harry after McGonagall had allowed him to be Gryffindor's team seeker
"a century, according to McGonagall" Harry said proudly a wide smile spreading through his face
So unaware I foolishly believed
That you would always be there
But then there came a day
Lily couldn't believe this was happening again. Voldemort had already caused her too much pain and she had sworn on her husband's life that she would see Voldemort's end
"Are you sure it was him?" Molly asked Lily "what did Dumbledore said?"
"He was quite sure of it" Lily said in a husky voice "and he's attempting to murder Harry"
"But Harry's safe with Dumbledore at school isn't he not?" Arthur inquired. Lily nodded slowly
"I would trust Albus with my life, but I don't think him being there will be enough" they all turned to her
"What you do suggest we do?" Lupin asked worriedly
"James would know what to do, wouldn't he?" Sirius asked more to himself than to the others but he could see the sadness on Lily's eyes
That night Lily had a dream she hadn't had before. She was sitting on park bench like the day she had when James had proposed
"Lil?" a familiar voice said from behind her "you don't have to be afraid"
"He's back" Lily said with shaky voice "he's back and I don't know what to do" he still hadn't dared to look up at him
"Yes you do, you are smarter than you would think" James said taking a seat by her side "and this time you are not alone, you have Harry"
"Well is him I'm worried about" Lily sobbed "how could someone think about murdering a boy?"
"I don't know Lily, but you also have powerful allies to help you overcome this" James said touching her cheek. She had missed his warmth
"I wished I had you" she said placing her head on his shoulder "I miss you" but he silenced her with a deep passionate kiss and then it was over and she was alone again
And I turned my head and you slipped away
Harry had confessed to Lily that he was in love. He was in love with Ginny Weasley. She had tried to talk to him about what the deal between boys and girls was, but she really was out of her element. She had tried to put Sirius and Lupin to the task but deep down they knew she wished it had been him
Harry often dreamed of James as well, although not as often as Lily did
"You see Harry, I know mom had a hard time trying to tell you what to do about your feelings towards Ginny" James said patting him on the back
"yes, she seemed quite awkward to tell you the truth and then she tried to make it better by bringing Lupin and Sirius, they just seemed scared of talking about it" Harry said chuckling
"Yes well, I would imagine so, uncle Sirius was never good at those kind of things and neither was Remus" James gave his son a reassuring look "do you love her?"
"Yes, I think I do" Harry said
"then there you have it, just follow your heart, do what it tells you and what you thinks it's best, even if Ron doesn't like it" James had said with a bit of laughter "I wasn't that much older than you when I told your mum that I loved her"
"And what did she say?" The question sounded quite childish but to be honest Harry didn't care. It was really nice talking to James
"She said she had to think about it" James told him gravely "to tell you the truth I was quite terrified" Harry now patted his father on the back. They broke into laughter and then as quickly as that the dream was over
If I had only known
It was my last night by your side
The newly formed DA had taken all adults by surprise when Umbridge had tried to kick Dumbledore out off Hogwarts, but Harry and his friends had taken matters into their own hands with help with Order of the Phoenix members former and new. It was all or nothing at this time. Voldemort had come back with army and all to defeat Lily and Harry once and for all, but they too were ready and determined to avenge James
Harry and Albus had discovered the secret behind Voldermort's powers and now Harry had set in on the look for that that would defeat the dark lord, meanwhile, Lily and the rest of the order had been forced to go underground and into hiding.
Then the battle of Hogwarts. They had already lost Sirius and Remus during the fight, Fred as well, and Tonks, still Lily remained unharmed as James's friends had promised she would. But war wasn't war when they were children involved in it, no matter who right that war might be
I'd pray a miracle would stop the dawn
And when you'd smile at me
James would watch over his wife and son, full of sadness the amount of death that surrounded him, but it was also a bittersweet end, Voldermort had paid for all he had done, but then that wouldn't bring his friends back to life. Remus, always selfless to others and father to a beautiful baby boy he would never get to know. Just as James had missed his time with Harry.
"You reckon he'll be fine?" Remus asked James. He placed a hand on his friend's back
"He has Harry to make sure of that" James said proudly "and Lily if there is something else he needs"
"Yes well, I'm sorry that I won't get to know him" Remus said sadly
"You will, by watching him grow" James said gravely
I would look into your eyes
and make sure you know my love
As Lily watched Ginny walk down the aisle, she rembembered her own wedding, how handsome James looked and how beautiful it had been to have all their family and friends there, Sirius and Remus had been James's best men.
"Your father would be so proud" Lily hugged Harry closely "you have become a wonderful young man and you are so much like him, and I thank him because I have you"
"Thank you mum" Harry said, both of them had tears on their eyes. And so had James "I know he would"
For you goes on and on
If I had only known
If I had only known
Now with a child of his own James S. Potter, Lily looked back proudly on her and her son's life both with her husband and without him. The moments that she spent with him, both and bad, the birth of their son and his unfair but heroic death
The love I would've shown
If I had only known
time had now come for her. She would then again reunite with the love of her life and they would never be apart again. He welcomed her with a hug, both of them sobbing with happiness and comfort. They were together again and this time not even the greatest darkness would break them apart