Disclaimer: I don't own WoT, but the story is mine!
A/n: This will undoubtedly be an unpopular pairing, but it's an idea I really liked, and was able to bring to life with the help of a friend. This is a sequel to my other story, Midsummer Night's Dream. But as the other story is not directly referenced, and this one contains a different pairing, it can stand alone.
A Shelter In The Storm
By The Amyrlin Seat
Grain sales in Cairhien were down by twenty percent, all the women in Arad Doman had begun to dress normally, and none of it was penetrating into her mind. As soon as she finished that line, the information would be gone, borne away on the winds of time. Never to return. Like Rand.
Oh, Rand, why did he have to be so flaming stupid? If he would've just waited an hour, Moiraine would've come with Re-enforcements, and then…Rand. Burn you, Rand, burn you and your inability to wait, your necessity to do it all by yourself and never for one flaming minute let the people closest to you help you, to let them in, Rand, let them in!
She tossed the papers away furiously. They were not going to get read anytime soon. She was far too upset. Siuan gave her a dirty look, but she didn't care. It'd been this way ever since….ever since the entire Green Ajah had been wiped out, ever since everything had come crashing down with Rand and his idiocy.
Why hadn't she ever realized it before? Realized how much she loved him. She had since they were young, really, she'd just…lost her way.
And now, without Gawyn or Rand, she was so very alone. She just wanted someone who understood that beneath the Amyrlin, there was a person.
Siuan had, for a time, but then, after Gareth….and after Moiraine had gone away, She'd been empty too.
Egwene sighed. She had to maintain her veneer. It was so unfair. She had to fix everything, had to make everything alright again. People were looking to her for strength, but who was she looking to? She didn't have anyone. No one at all.
She missed Min. That much she knew. That one always seemed so together, even after the last battle. She always seemed to know what to say to make her feel better. In these times of weakness, Min was strong.
She wondered how she stayed that way. How even after all this, she still had that fire left in her. Probably because she'd seen it all before hand, but wasn't there anything in her that had gone? Always so confident. So strong. She should have this position, not Egwene.
A knock came at the door, stirring Egwene from her thoughts. Siuan got up and opened the door without a word. A short conversation followed,
something about a visitor. Nothing she paid any attention to. Probably another flaming dignitary come to discuss some unimportant treaty.
Couldn't they see that she was breaking? Without Rand, there was no meaning to anything. The world was devoid. She kept looking around,
waiting to hear him say, "I'm sorry, Egwene, but it had to be done,"
or some such other man's foolishness. But it would be her foolishness.
It would be her foolishness, and Min's foolishness, and Elayne's foolishness, and Aviendha's foolishness.
He would never realize it, even if he had been here. He would never have gotten through his thick skull that perhaps he should've made a move. That perhaps Gawyn wasn't the only one. Burn it all, why hadn't they realized it?
"Mother," Siuan said, with the edge her voice had gained over the years, "Farshaw is coming up to see you."
Instantly she brightened. Min! It'd been two years since they'd last seen each other- since Min had decided that traveling and surveying the people was an important task in these times. Last Egwene had heard, she'd been in Seanchan. Oh, but thank the light that she was here!
"Thank you, Siuan," she said simply, trying to keep all that happiness out of her voice. Siuan nodded and left the room. By now they understood each other. Min's visits fell under the slim category of things Egwene kept to herself. They were much too…emotional for her to share.
She stood, sliding the stole off her shoulders. With Min, there was no need. She could just be the weak innkeeper's daughter from Emond's field and it wouldn't matter. With Min, there was no need for a veneer of any kind. And Egwene missed that.
Not a moment later she heard the creak of well-worn boots on stone.
She smiled to herself. Min had taken to wearing soldier's boots because they were more practical for traveling. Of course, she looked even more like a boy in them, but that wasn't something that Egwene was about to mention.
Min Farshaw entered the room two minutes later, covered in that tattered cloak of hers. She'd let her hair grow out, but she was also wearing those tight breeches. A short sword was at her hip, and dozens of daggers were displayed openly about her clothing.
In these times, that was the way it had to be. It was no longer safe for anyone. People were taking the weakness, the emptiness of the world as a sign that they should begin acting like the Shadowspawn they'd worked so hard to dispel. So women stayed inside, except for women like Aviendha and Min- and channellers, of course.
"Min! I'm so glad to see you safe!" Egwene said as she embraced the other woman in a hug. As usual, she gave only a vague remembrance of a hug in return. Perhaps at one point, it was a loving embrace, but now….now it was just an odd press of the shoulder. But Egwene knew that was how she showed affection. Were it anyone else, they would've just gotten a handshake.
Min's eyes were nearly empty, but they lit up a bit at the embrace.
"Egwene…" she said. Something was wrong. She seemed…upset. No! Not, Min! Min was always strong, always together, always there to make her feel like someone. Not Min. Light, Mmin couldn't be broken too! She wouldn't let her be!
She held out the former tavern maid at arm's length and gave her a level look. It was then she noticed that Min's eyes were bloodshot.
She'd been crying? Egwene's lips parted gently in surprise. Not Min!
Not strong, stoic Min!
"He's gone, Egwene. He's…he's really gone," was all she said. Egwene couldn't take it. She held Min close.
"He's gone, but…but we have to keep going," She muttered. She didn't believe it, but she knew it to be true. She knew it, and she thought Min knew it, and light above, don't let Min break too. She needed her.
"But I loved him. I loved him! We were supposed to be together, and he left me. He left me, he left us, he left everyone, and now there's a void there…."
"I know, Min, I know. Believe me, I know. I didn't even realize…until…until he left," she said stupidly. Oh burn her, now she was crying. They both were. Such pathetic creatures, but they needed each other. They needed each other because there was no one else.
"You loved him too?" Min said dumbly. She was so stiff. So…cold.
Egwene wished she could warm her. She deserved it. She deserved someone to help her forget, someone to comfort her.
"I did. I only realize it when he's gone, but I can't stop thinking about him. It's like he's still here."
"But he's not." Min replied. She seemed to loosen up, and embraced Egwene. The Amyrlin softened. She wasn't broken. She'd gotten to her before she broke. Maybe now…maybe now that she knew, they could comfort each other. They'd both loved and lost.
"I know, and I know it hurts. He was always that kind of man," Egwene said sourly. Even when they'd been children. Even then. Min laughed.
"He always was. Oh, Egwene, you should've told me," she said. She held her closer. That was odd. Min smelt like a meadow. A meadow she would've run around in. A meadow like the one not far from Emond's Field.
Min was home.
"I wanted to, but I thought you'd be upset. You…you did marry him, so it would've been like I was invading your territory," Egwene answered.
She looked up nervously. Min was smiling sadly.
"As if there weren't already two other women I was sharing with. I wouldn't have minded, silly! I always liked you."
"I-I'm glad," she said. Why was she stuttering? It was Min, her rock!
Her last source of continuity in this insane world. She rested her head on Min's shoulder. It felt…right.
"Silly, silly girl. No one should have to suffer alone like that. We could've been sister-wives, all four of us!" Min said. Egwene smiled.
Imagine that! All four of them. Poor Rand. But then, they would've been so much closer. That would've been nice.
Maybe they could still be close. Maybe they could be there for each other. Maybe that was all they needed, someone to hold on to.
Neither said anything for a moment. Perhaps they were both thinking the same thing. Egwene hoped so.
"Maybe…Maybe there's still time. Maybe we can be here for each other," Min said. Egwene smiled. They had been thinking the same thing!
"I…I think we can, Min," she replied, embracing Min and promptly kissing her. They both laughed, and for a time, as it always was when Min was with her, the pain receeded. Seeing Min's smile was like a beacon of hope. If Min could smile after everything she'd lost…after losing Rand-That was still hard to think about-then Egwene could too. She was the Amyrlin, after all. With Min by her side, she could begin to rebuild, and fulfill her true role. Over a thousand women depended on her leadership, and she could do it if Min was with her. They both loved Rand, and although she could never admit it to anyone while he was alive, not even to her self, loving him was a bond of sorts. Rand had been a sentral figure Egwene's entire life.-Light, she thought they'd be married some day! And it was good to be able to talk to someone who understood and loved him as she did. Because to the women who loved him, he wasn't the dragon, the lord of the morning, or any of the other names he was known by. He was simply…Rand al'Thor. As long as they both remembered him, he was still alive.
In time maybe they could regain a little of the happiness that the last battle had taken from them, and have some semblance of a normal life. As impossible as that sounded.
"Min…are you sure this is okay?" She asked, a little hesitantly. Min stepped out of Egwene's embrace and playfully hit her shoulder.
"Egwene! Of course it's okay! You silly girl! Now come on, let's take a walk in the gardens, being inside feels confining."
Egwene laughed at that, and they walked out hand in hand. In the outer waiting room, Siuan looked up from the pile of papers she was scanning long enough to see them pass. She simply shook her head, hiding a smile behind her hand. But neither of them saw, caught up in the happiness of being together again.