She took a deep breath as she settled herself comfortably on the plush carpet in one of her many safe houses around the world. Perhaps it was from her years from being on the run, first from the drug dealers that she used to patronise before she owed them heaps of money, to running from Division. From Michael. From Percy. From Amanda. Isn't it ironic that one runs away from the people who promised to protect you and give you a second chance? She gave a bitter, strangled laugh at that thought.
But her laughter abruptly stopped at the thought of who she had lost in her bid to destroy Division, the culprit who had murdered Daniel, her only link to what was actually happening in the world outside Division. Daniel was the only one who could make her laugh like she never had before, smile like she had never been hurt, live like her soul had never been torn away with her very first kill, and joke like the innocent and happy girl she never had the chance to be. Alex and Sean too, she thought regretfully. Two young lives were lost in the battle, her battle, no, THEIR battle against the horrible, dark force which was once Division. Now, what was left of their team, was her, Michael and Birkoff. And even that did not last long. Birkoff had gone off to his own sanctuary, while Michael and completely disappeared. Being in the same country where his wife and daughter were killed was just too much to bear, and she knew that looking for him was pointless. He would appear again when he wanted to.
In division, where she was surrounded by other recruits at every moment, Nikita yearned for solitude. Not peace, she knew she did not deserve that, and could not find it, however hard she may try, but all she wanted then was just silence. Silence where she could hear her own ragged breathing from being in the gym for three full hours, away from the noise and chatter that always seem to be in Division. Silence where she could hear her every thought, relieve each and every dream, nightmare or otherwise, just to remember that she still had feelings. That she still had some feelings left inside her, despite after Division's attempts at making her emotionless. ("Silent like a ghost, and emotionless like a stone. "That was what Amanda had always said. )That there are still some things from her life before Division that she had yet to complete. Revenge was one of them. But now that her entire house was silent as a stone, save for the ticking of the clock in the background, Nikita felt as though the deathly silence of the house was choking her.
She silently walked towards the cassette player in the corner of the room and played a classical, non-lyrical song, but somehow, it felt wrong. She always listened to classical music with Alex, and jazz with Michael, but without Alex by her side, everything felt, wrong. As though there was a part of her missing, and she could not enjoy the music properly, almost as though she was listening to the sound of gunfire, instead of the soothing melody. Nothing felt the same anymore. After spending more than half her life on taking down Division, she no longer knew what to do with it. Retire? She was financially secure enough to migrate to another country, Singapore perhaps, but with the current haze, maybe not. Learn gardening, and why not take care of bunnies while she's at it? Nikita let out a snort at the very thought. Retirement was not in her twenty year plan, that much she knew for certain.
Subconsciously, a familiar voice filtered through her mind, as she remembered the boyish grin that came with it, "Sleep on it, and everything becomes clearer when you wake up. That's how I used to revise for my examinations, anyway. By revising a chapter and then taking a nap. Or it was because the chapters were so boring that I slept. Daniel. The more reminiscence of his name brought a pang to her heart.
Maybe she will be a soldier again, and right all those wrongs she had committed all these years. Maybe she will be a martial arts teacher and fulfil her dreams. Maybe she will find Michael and Birkoff. Maybe she will learn to forgive herself. Maybe she will make new friends and try to remove the scars she had obtained, both physically and mentally.
There were many possibilities for her in the future, but she was certain what she had to do the next day. Go to Daniel's grave and tell him everything she never had a chance to, and correct all the lies she had told him. Mourn for him properly. She had done that for Alex and Sean, but she never had the courage to go to Daniel's grave. But she knew what she had to do before that. Sleep. It may seem like nothing, but she deserved it.