Band Nerds "R" Us

Being in band can make people think weird things or start weird habits. Then all together weird things happen when you are in band. Here is a list of things to help you remember.

1. Trombones are the band Gods and Goddess.
2. Trumpets think they are gifts from God. French Horns know they are.
3. Trombones can be and are almost always perverted.
4. Be careful when a trombone player asks you to hold their horn. (They later say Thanks for holding my boner.)
5. Trumpets you might want to become very good friends with the people in the trombone section. (Especially if you want to keep your head.)
6. Tuba's your mouthpieces will fall off. Especially when your at the top of the stadium.
7. Charter bus trips are fun. Especially when Shannon is in your section.
8. Without the Band It's just a game.
9. Be nice to the band manger if you want your instrument to survive the road trip in one piece.
10. Don't make anyone in colorguard mad. They are sweet girls with big metal sticks.
11. Don't give a trombone player an instrument with valves or keys if you want it to still work.
12. Wool Uniforms and Texas weather don't mix.
13. Freshmen brass always check your bells. You never know what somebody decided to put in them.
14. No matter what anyone says about locking your Band locker. Your lock will get switched with someone else's (Band people get really bored)
15. Drum sticks should be banished.
16. No the pit do not know how to stand still.
17. Pep Rallies + Shannon = trouble
18. Brass players don't know what the marking "P" means.
19. The band hall is your home
20. You suddenly got a ton of new brothers and sisters. and new parents
21. Drum Majors rule over all except for the trombones who act like they are God.
22. Don't upset "Uonda" the Trombone god.
23. Most band people can't sing (especially in the trombone section)
24. Baritones and Trombones on the same bus = loud chaos.
25. Yes Mr. McDonald boneheads rule the World.
26. Directors by the name of Mr. Snead is God
27. No it's not a football field it's a marching field
28. Rain + Woodwinds = messed up instruments
29. Lightning + Brass instruments = lightning rod = scared woodwinds
30. It's not rocket pride! It's Trombone pride!
31. Watch for flying ice cubes.
32. Don't stand under a instrument with a spit valve.
33.Tubas are good for hiding things in
34.Tuba and percussion lockers are good for locking evil freshmen in
35. Don't forget to take the music out of the bell. (you will get a better sound. I promise Tasha)
36. playing "Zoo" in line for two hours while waiting to get on a ride will make people angry.
37. Houses can run into buses. (Judson Band legend)
38. Never try doing homework at a Thursday game. Especially if you wan to keep your texts books in one piece. They tend to want to find the ground .
39. Moving pit equipment down a steep hill is hard to do
40. Tympanis rule. Except when the wheels fall off
41. Don't stand in front of the drum line. If you want to keep your hearing
42. When starting basics marching fundamentals ask the section leaders lots of questions to waste time.
43. Flutes beware of dancing tubas at pep rallies
44. Luby's will become on of your favorite restaurants on road trips. just don't knock the tables over. ( we did oospsy)
45. Keys do come off the percussion equipment
46. Band directors will forget the most common name. ( like mine we have twenty jessica's and each of us get called something diffrent.
47. Drum Majors will give new names to you.
48. Baritone player's name Tim will give you and everybody you know a new name. (He calls me Juanita for some reason.
49.Food fights on charter buses = mad chaperones
50. Band directors will only remember your name when you are in trouble.
51. The asphalt will get twenty degrees higher than temperature
52. Freshmen can't memorize music. So they play what ever they want as loud as they can.
53. Trombone like to spin
54. Beware when twirling a trumpet. it is attracted to the ground.
55. While doing marching visuals mouth pieces will fall off.
56. bassoons sound like Mosquitoes
57. flutes sound like the dismissal bell.
58.being late to practice is a death wish
59. Slides like to find the ground when you are at the top of the stadium.
60. Baritones players think they can fly
61 Trombones don't know what the word "Think" means. So don't even try.
62. In band you can't count pass the number 8. You also don't know the alphabet pass the letter G
63. "Cheese Gritz' Is fun. So play it again.
64. 'Tribe" has lots of lyrics to it. Just don't make fun of your section leader
65. "Iron Man" is actually "Afro Man"
66. The hey song Is evil
67. When band directors know the lyrics to Pop songs, RUN!!!!
68. Band Managers tend to loose there Keys
69.Wet music stinks
70. Dating percussionist will label you as a traitor. Your IQ will also drop 25 points