納める

" a reaping. "

Now that stung.

I brought my hand to my lips and covered my mouth gently, coming off as if I merely dismissed Ryuzaki's comment completely and continued to deduce our current situation. It had been months since I had lost the Death Note and I wasn't completely upset about not having it in my possession. What I was upset about was it falling into the wrong hands. I knew if I gave it to Ryuk he'd be too careless and have such a jovial attitude towards witnessing the indifference between L and I. Maybe he wasn't too jovial with important things like dealing with the book.. perhaps that was the wrong verbiage to describe his current demeanor.

Suddenly I heard a deep gasp behind me and a slightly turned so no one could notice my odd behavior. There stood Rem, eyes wide and pupils thinner than that of a black cat's.

So that's it! What a bastard! The Shinigami mumbled.

I smirked in the corner of my mouth as Rem realized my ultimate plan; getting my way and killing everyone in the process. It was then I drowned in my thoughts of the case; everything that had happened, me losing my memory then gaining it back so suddenly. It all was according to what I originally planned with the two Shinigamis and Misa. I was having my way and the light at the end of the tunnel suddenly started to seem brighter and brighter.

But that same tug in my stomach hit me again when I thought of Ryuzaki.

His dead eyes pealed towards the computer monitor's screen that was in front of him and I noticed the wideness in his eyelids when I came and stood next to him. Data of the case sprawled across the screen and I tried to look interested but my tooth ripped at the first layer of skin on my bottom lip. I looked down to examine the young man sitting oddly in the chair to my left. His rustled hair was dirty and unkept but it seemed suitable and alluring. The clothes hanging on his lanky frame were much too big for his figure but seemed acceptable. I didn't know when I crossed the line for how long I was allowed to stare at my fellow detective, friend of the male gender, arch-enemy, for crying out loud, but I decided that it was when his eyes snapped up to mine nearly sucking my soul out of my suddenly shrunk pupils.

"Light, you did confirm that you will be taking the place of L if something ever happened to him, is that correct?" I didn't know if it was his inability to show me any emotion or the fact I felt as if he had practically just read my thoughts. I nodded quickly.

"I-I'm guessing I'm the one acquitted for the job." I quietly respond and excuse myself from the room, unable to contain the fire that made its way into my throat. I knew L watched as I fumbled my body across Rem, not wanting to seem suspicious, but not wanting to completely stun Rem if I were to completely pass through her figure.

I emptied my stomach into the toilet and coughed as I realized I suddenly wasn't too keen on my own master plan. I recounted the scene that just happened.

"Then does that mean another Kira has appeared?"

"Damn... Curse Kira..." I grumbled closing my eyes. I realized I was becoming pristine in this whole acting business.

"This happened as soon as Misa was freed, didn't it?" My eyes shocked wide as I heard L's words.

"Ryuzaki, are you still saying that? Miss is not involved." I defended her, "It happened as soon as Higuchi died."

"You're right..." he muttered wishing to not buy it but did anyway.

"Well if there is another notebook and someone is using it," L began again, "I'll catch him."

"Even if we do catch the person who is writing in the book," I came nearer to the detective eating his sugar teddy bears, "Can we really convict and punish him as a serial killer?"

"If he admits to killing with the book he'd get the death penalty. Or at least life sentence." He lifted another graham to his lips, "Something like that."

I winced and sucked in a sharp breath hearing those words fall from his mouth. It hurt my chest for some reason when he had. Maybe it was because I knew he counted me as a friend but expected, no wanted, the death penalty upon my shoulders. Hypothetically if I were Kira, maybe the guilt is getting to me now.

I stood up and adjusted my jacket. After flushing the toilet and walk out of the unlocked stall to come face to face in the mirror. The sudden odd emotions with Ryuzaki, my plan falling into place, death at my fingertips; I was becoming a god and I thought I was liking it.

I never expected my life to turn out like this.

•••

It was pouring. Torrential rain fell from the sky and I wondered if Ryuk suggested the weather to the gods up there so it would correspond with my emotions. I walked out unto the roof. I needed explanations for all this messy thought process. I needed to deduce what L would do next, whether it would go alongside my plan or not and whether or not my plan should completely be embarked.

But when I reached the outside of the roof, I notice Ryuzaki had already beat me to it.

"What are you doing Ryuzaki?" I asked for the third time standing next to him. The rain made everything so loud we could barely hear each other.

"Well... I'm not doing anything in particular, but..." his droopy head lifted up and cast his gaze across the horizon of the span of Japanese city below us, "The sound of bells..."

"Bells?" I asked suddenly in all genuineness confusion.

"Yes." he casually responded, "The bells have been really noisy throughout the day..."

"I don't hear anything." I admitted, looking around. I was questioning whether Ryuzaki really was crazy.

"Really?" he asked, treating me as if I were the crazy one, "They've been ringing all day and... I can't help but feel curious."

I shrugged and flashed my eyes opened and closed a couple times when a particular word came across my mind.

Cute

I shook my head as I heard his words again.

"Do you suppose it's a church? A wedding? Or perhaps..." Not wanting to hear the rest of his thought, presuming it implied death, I cut him off.

"What are you talking about Ryuzaki?" he looked at me, "Don't say such silly things. Let's go back." He turned from me in shame.

"I'm sorry. Everything I say is complete nonsense so please don't believe any of it." Chuckling to myself I respond,

"That's right most of what you say is nonsense. There would be no end if I took you seriously all the time. I know that the best."

"Yes, that's right Light. But... it's true for both of us."

We walked back into the headquarters and after finding towels for the both of us, I sat on some steps. As I dried off my hair, I thought of Ryuzaki and how his attitude was very different from the hours ago in control room. What changed his emotions? Was it I? Was it Higuchi? Maybe he was unfolding my plan and noticed that he is starting to lose? No, it must not have been. He wouldn't seem so calm around me if I were the problem. My breath hitched when I remembered I had nearly described Ryuzaki as... cute.

"That was awful!" I closed my eyes and smiled at his carelessness I assumed he was faking.

"It was your fault. You were standing in the rain." I looked over at him and slightly chuckled at how cute he was with his towel just simply raped over his skating hair. Cute, again? I heard his footsteps and expected him to sit by me but my eyes widened in shock as he sat just in front of me.

"What are you doing Ryuzaki?" I exclaimed as he grabbed my foot and inched his towel towards it. His eyes. Those knowing enchanting eyes.

"I, I thought I would help." He was completely frozen in his tracks.

"Y-You don't have to do that." I tried to sound comforting instead of flustered. I didn't know if he bought.

"I can give you a massage if you'd like." That was when I gasped and recoiled a bit. What game was L playing here? Maybe he was just being Ryuzaki.. my friend instead of co-detective. More like interrogator. "It's the least I can do to atone. Im pretty good."

"Do as you please." I responded attempting to ward off a gush of heated emotions flooding my chest and temples. He began touching my feet and I looked down at him. Droplets of rain water ripped from his hair and he was a bit surprised when I dried them off for him. He was so...

Alluring.

He looked up at me in utter hypnotism.

"I'm sorry." he sighed as he broke his gaze into my eyes. There was something about this moment. It was something I had never experienced anymore. It was so loving but genuine. Attraction but pure. There has always been tension between L and I but I never assumed it to be sexual. Maybe it was, but right now it seemed as if he were serving me.

Almost loving me.

We hesitantly cut it off, though, deciding it was time to make our way back into the control room with the rest of the detective squad. Ryuzaki sat in his chair and immediately his whole charisma changed. His feet were on the chair beneath him and his thumb was against his bottom lip; he definitely was on to something.

"I'm going to try out the notebook for real." Everyone in the room gasps as he hears L's speech. What would happen when he figures out that the rules on the back of the book are fake?

"That's pointless!"

"We know its power already..."

"Whose name will be written?" So many questions bombarded L and I just stood shocked at his words.

He was so desperately trying to convict me as Kira, he went to the measures of him taking its role to prove I was the murderer.

"The name of the one I will write will be executed within thirteen days. If he is alive after thirteen days then we make a deal to commute his execution. If I am clear about this," my eyes began widened and my heart froze against my ribcage.

"The case will be solved."

L sounded so sure and so happy that he finally figured a way to the end of the case. What he didn't know was my scheme. He would never make it out of the closure of this case alive. Just as I was about to make my move and say my next profound statement, the lights burned out and everyone gasps.

Red emergency lights all through the headquarters signal and the giant fancy W flashes on the screen.

"Watari?" Ryuzaki's voice is low and full of worry he failed to mask. Then suddenly, a message of three words flashed across the screens and everyone went ballistic.

"Watari!" He yells louder than i ever heard his voice go before.

All data deletion.

"Ryuzaki! What's the meaning of this?!" My father exclaims and runs to my side of L's chair.

"I told Watari if anything were to happen to him, delete all data of the case." Ryuzaki's eyes fell and his eyebrows drew in. He was upset, furious even. And I was to blame. I stood there shocked; it was falling into plan.

"Where is the Shinigami?" He yells and turns to everyone. Rem was no where to be seen, I knew that much. Everyone paced the room trying to find the reaper and he turned back to the screen frantically.

"Everyone, I need the Shini-" Ryuzaki deeply gasps. Immediately as his messy fringe begins trembling when his body started to tremor, the spoon he ate his sweets with falls out of his stiff fingers. Wide eyed, the detective falls to his left, falling to the cold tile floor.

My eyes widen and my jaw drops.

Ryuzaki's real name was written in the Death Note Rem had in possession, fulfilling my plan of total power over the world.

But something triggered that very moment in my chest, the same flame of emotion that Ryuzaki ignited early that day. With all my might I raced to the black haired boy who collided into the white tile that was now stained with his sugary food and blood. I held him, his wide empty eyes staring deep into mine. We had a stare off and when I noticed the realization of defeat come upon him, I devilishly smiled with an evil demeanor. I won.

Then, his eyes fell and closed slowly. There in my arms lied my lifeless enemy, co-detective, friend. I gasp. Ryuzaki was gone. Gone.

"Ryuzaki!" I exclaimed. I didn't realize what I was doing as I chanted his name over and over. "What's wrong? Get ahold of yourself?!" Other detectives came over and tried to figure out what happened and when the scene clicked, they tried to console me.

Then, I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"Calm down, Light." My dad tried to comfort me. Frantic trembles take over my body and I pulled back his tangled hair but he was already paler than usual. I cried out again.

"We'll be killed! We're next!" I screamed up at him. I was worried about that fact; at least that's what the others might have thought. But I really was worried of my plan. I was scared that I won, that I had full power; that my biggest opponent was defeated. Ryuzaki's body laid across my lap and I didn't know what to do. I wanted to be happy, excited that i was finally free to rule this crooked world but a part of me was holding itself back. I was sad. Ryuzaki was dead. It suddenly seemed like one of the only pieces of my life that made sense was gone instead of bringing me freedom.

I stepped away from the corpse below me and looked down at his hands. Then I was angry with Rem.

"That Shinigami?! Where is it?! You must come out!" I screamed and turned around. I vacate the room with full force not minding if I body slammed anyone that was in my way. In the room where Ryuzaki's name was written was the cursed Death Note and a heaping pile of sand surrounding it. Checking to see if anyone was watching, I snuck the Death Note into my pants and stood over the sand. The other detectives piled in and inspected the mound of death. I knew exactly what it was but never informed them that it was remains.

"I will avenge Ryuzaki.." My voice fell many octaves. The detective's eyes all widen and they suddenly seemed to get my frustration and desperation for Rem to reverse the Death Note's ways with Ryuzaki's name. It was impossible now, Rem was gone as well. The Shinigami tried to save Misa's life with the Death Note by killing Ryuzaki therefore Rem died.

"I will avenge."

•••

It was Sunday. I sat on the park bench curled up with my knees to my chest. The Death Note was in my hands, out for the public to see. No one other than the detectives knew its power so I decided I didn't care to keep it hidden anymore. My greatest rival was gone. My best friend was dead. The trees above me shook their heads and clapped their hands. The wind was brutal this summer day. Pine needles fell into my dirty hair and pinecones were crunched across the pavement where pedestrians stampeded. I sighed. I was pretending to read the names of the victims I stole lives from, trying to remember the time I did. It was no use, I was too brain dead and sick. A perpetual uneasiness boiled in my stomach. I got sick every day. In all honesty, I sat thinking of Ryuzaki. His voice, how he deduced. I thought of his clothes, how they perfectly fell across his pale skin when he sat curled on a seat. I thought of the way his thumb dragged across his bottom lip when the wheels in his head spun. I knew it was a little much to be drowning myself in such thoughts but I couldn't help to be the slightest guilty. I was, in fact, guilty. One-hundred-percent. I told Rem to write Ryuzaki's real name in the notebook, I lead him through this case, I made it my plan to kill my arch-nemesis, which sadly happened to become my best friend. I never counted myself as the type of guy to have friends, especially close ones I met in school.

Birds startled me out of my mind's dreams as I watched their flock burst from behind bushes. They squawked and squealed at the bells.

The bells.

Church bells made my eyes widen. It was what Ryuzaki spoke of on top of the headquarter's roof that day his name was written in the notebook. In the rain he heard the church bells and I claimed he was nuts; it was much too loud to hear the bells that were planted all the way in this park's church. The rain was quite heavy and we were meters into the sky.

I stood up though. I walked, hands in my pockets and Death Note tucked behind me in my trousers under my shirt. I stood face to face with the massive catholic building. Bells at the top of its steeple made my lips tuck into a straight line. I resented them. They were the last thoughts Ryuzaki shared with me. His personal thoughts anyway.

I sighed again and left with my head down. Leaves were taken up by the wind and brown crispy ones would brush my cheeks causing me to crinkle my nose. The bells wouldn't stop ringing. Even when I was far out of reach to hear their chimes, they still pounded through my beating heart. I tried so hard to ignore them but their music came more and more onto me and I gasped.

I fell to my knees in the middle of the market grasping my temple. People rushed up to ask if I were okay and I shoved them off. The pain became more and more intense and I couldn't compose myself. I cried out, almost screamed but I knew I might have been arrested or taken to a hospital if I had. I was beyond pissed off, I was hurt and suddenly hated myself.

Through gritted teeth i mumbled and the people were confused, whispering amongst themselves as if I were some crazy person. Which I very much acknowledged I might just be one. Until one bold young lady asked my voice to be raised, I looked her dead in the eye and with my teeth still glued together I spat,

"I will have Ryuzaki at my side once more, no matter what the sacrifice."

•••

I would like to address my illiteracy and dyslexia and horribibleness...ess...ness? Yeah, I hate myself too so don't worry if you feel some sort of resentment.

This is my first Death Note fanfic - yay - in all honesty, I finished Death Note literally yesterday and started the actual show the day before so I'm totally new to this fandom... In fact, it was my first anime in all so I'm new to everything anime, Japanese, or what the kids now a days call, "Kawaii." Doesn't that mean cute or something? I don't even know...

So... I was going to write more action into this chapter but decided against it. This is more of the emotional side to draw you emotional readers with broken feelings in (lol). The next chapters and majority of this book will have action and a good specific plot. Before I begin writing, I always draw inspiration from one of the show's prompts, band's lyric, then create a whole entire story before I write a single word; that's just how I do fan fiction. I seem to think that people who don't know in which direction to lead their stories shouldn't be writing because their plot will become confusing and boring so trust in me that this fanfic will not die.

I'm Tana. This is my new fan fiction account and gosh, back in 2011 I discovered this website and made an account a couple months later in 2012. That same account, My-Curly-Cue, still lives to this day with a bunch of even more embarrassing, even more illiterate, and even more offensive fanfics from Disney channel or some sort. I made a wattpad account too, tanastarrylight, where I have posted 5SOS fanfics and with post Death Note fics soon. Follow me on those if you'd like, I don't post on my old fanfic account anymore but I certainly log in and read the old reviews so if you do somehow fall for my silly romanticism of a fanfic, like this one, read the thoughts of my twelve year old self there...

My tumblr is tanastarrylight as well! It's new so don't expect much of it... I currently just follow a few L blogs here and there but do plan on posting pencil sketches and digital art I've created soon. I'm not capable of it, technical issues, but once I am, I will begin my blog! There is incentive I've come up with for you to follow me there though... I'm beginning to write Death Note blurbs/one shots their; any prompt that comes to my mind really, since I don't want to make a whole other fan fiction or wattpad book full of shorts.

Anyway, I'm sorry you had to live through that rant but I hope you give my fanfic a chance, I think this premise is quite enjoyable.

-Tana