A/N: This story takes place before the actual comics and everything, just as Wallace and Scott began living together.

Characters belong to the hilariously wonderful Bryan Lee O'Malley!

Scott Pilgrim was a free man living on his own! Well, with a roommate, of course. Living costs money. Scott Pilgrim did not have money. Wallace Wells, the aforementioned room-mate, did (because Wallace Wells also had a job). But it was close enough to living on his own. Eh.

Scott smiled approvingly to himself as he bounced home after his last class of the day. He had only been living with Wallace for about a week and it still felt super grown up-like pulling out his own keys to- ...digging under the door mat for his own spare keys to open the door to his own place!

"Wallace, I'm-" Scott cut himself off with his own piercing scream of horror due to the sight before him.

"Scott!" Wallace screamed in a mix of surprise and anger as he locked eyes with his new room-mate.

The man between Wallace's unclothed legs simply stopped his ministrations and turned around to glare at the cock-block at the door. Scott was positively frozen. Wallace sighed, only embarrassed by the fact that he and his partner were interrupted- the fact that Scott had just witnessed such a scene wasn't nearly as mortifying apparently.

"Excuse me, uh..." Wallace trailed off.

"...Chris."

"Ah, yes, Chris. My new straight room-mate isn't accustomed to my ways yet. If you'll excuse me..." Wallace quickly dressed his lower half and hurried the man- er, Chris, out the door past a stone-like Scott. Wallace clicked his tongue and pulled the gawking statue of his room-mate inside.

"Scott, baby, wake up," Wallace coaxed gently. "Hellooooo? Scott, snap out of it. Please? ...SCOTT." Thwack.

Scott blinked and shook his head. "Dude, what just-? I'm-?"

"Well, I'm afraid you just witnessed what we adults call a blow jo-"

"Please don't remind me, I know what I saw."

Wallace stared at him for a solid minute until a wide smirk broke out on his face. He really couldn't stay mad at such an innocently stupid face. "Okay, guy, if we're going to be living together we're obviously going to need to make a sex schedule or something."

"Yeah... now I just need to find somebody to share my time slots with."

The boys laughed quite obnoxiously, both for different reasons probably.

"Hey, Wallace," Scott said wiping a lone tear of laughter from his eye. "I'm pretty sure you screamed my name out during sex earlier. That's pretty gay, man."

And then Wallace punched him.