Old stuff right here, from the 1600's.

Alas, does not mean I still don't adore Mr. Shan and his writing masterpieces.

Those watching my Naruto story, will be updated in half a week or some time like that soon.

Sorry for any mistakes in grammar.

The song is My Immortal by Evanescence.

Cirque Due Freak belongs to Mr. Shan.

Enjoy.

XXX

I'm so tired of being here.

Supressed by all my childish fears.

Letting my feet guide me as my eyes scan the trees for your nimble figure.

Tears running down my face, kissing my trembling lips then falling on the ground I let my knees sink to.

Hugging myself with these hands that caused that sin known only to be caused by the rage. I scream your name, wish I could see you once more.

I wish I could make our last moments something other than a splinter pressed to your heart.

I now look around and see the dead crawling from their graves, and I would let them cover me over and finish me.

I see the bats above my head changing their bone structure to become the devil with flight, I see the ground cracking and engulfing my needless being.

But that's only when I close my eyes, open it's as if nothing happened.

These monsters I used to adore now come to kill me.

And since you're one of those monsters...

And if you have to leave.

I wish that you would just leave.

Because your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone

I can feel it, litrally feel it. That scent, your scent you left hanging in the air as you darted into the night with him.

You never had a name, you are blank.

Makes me harder to forget you when I can sense you next to me, Darren (can't leave you blank, Darren). Still see your house when I walk home, still know you existed. Still see the flowers in the window, veiled by a netted curtain, the flowers never dying.

Never dying.

Stupid bitch! She always changes them, always. She doesn't want you to die even though you're not even dead but she doesn't know that.

She doesn't want your memory to fade away, even though I wish it would.

Grasping onto the last threads of you before you evaporate from her memory like water.

I wish you'd never existed Darren.

I don't care about your sister, or parents, but I know they wish you'd never existed because this pain isn't going to go away.

I run into my room, slamming the door in that damned women's face.

She screams at me and I scream my anger and hurt back.

You're everywhere, on my bed, next to my window, hiding in my closet. Everywhere you've been you've left your mark, like a bloodspot on the carpet, it'll remain there forever.

Your smiling face that I can't smile back to.

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

So long, I've known you for so long. You expect me to let this diminish to nothing?

The empty space next to me walking to school, do you expect me to remember it as always being empty?

Am I expected to forget my best friend, let him fade into nothing? After time will he simply be a name whispered on the lips of those who knew him?

No!

I want you to have never existed, but...

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fear

And I held your hand through all of these years

When there was a nobody rattling at the window I was the one who confidently told you it was the wind. When the vampires that then remained on paper came to life I was the one who beckoned you from the mattress on the floor and into my bed where I held you shamelessly in the night that wouldn't judge me.

Did Tom jump after you into the river you fell in last summer? No, it was me. As soon as I saw your silhouette falling I was flying with no wings, not afraid when I fell to the rocky riverbed.

Just wishing to save this fragile bird that had somehow transformed into you.

It was always me, you were my other half.

Without the other half of the yin yang I remain a lifeless black eye catching a circle of light.

We complete each other...

But you still have

All of me

I hate you. I fucking hate you, Darren! But I don't mean that, I never could mean it. I could never hate you even if I wanted to.

Because you own me.

This see through chain bound by my neck still remains strong.

Right now I wish I could hate you, for your blindless. Turning away from the years -our years- that we stuggled through grasping each others hand as if the ledge was getting smaller and the monsters were getting closer.

You used to captivate me

By your resonating light

I admired you. Even though you were a coward you were a brave one with a spider balanced between your fingers; dangling from the end of the flute, the web a bond between man and beast, Master and servant.

I wished I was you so many times, envied your skill and grace with the spider.

You seemed to always look up to me, when to me it was the other way round.

You looked so beautiful too, like a painting behind the arms of glass in an art gallery to famous to name...

Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

All that's left of the spider now is a mirage, the bite wound that the spider gave me when our fun was dimished.

If I had a choice, I would've gone with you.

We could've been blood brothers! Travelling away from the world we once knew, together. I can almost smile under this curtain of tears thinking about what we could've gotten up to, who we could've met, how many times I could've told you how much I adore you...

Not now, you've gone together but not with me.

I'm stuck here forever.

Your face it haunts

My once pleasant dreams

I sit upright, eyes remaining closed for too long as they take a much needed blink.

They dribble, like a window pane in a brewing storm; at first it's one then four fall down my cheeks.

Everytime my eyes are shut, I can still see your silhouette staring at me with the eyes I cannot see; waiting to torment me from every direction and remind me of the moment you left, the moment that bastard took you away from me.

Or it'll be the other way round, you'll seduce me with your words, fooling me into a memory that I've already lived, before crumbling like sand through my fingers.

These dreams that once held your grinning smile, those pink rose lips I wished I could cover with my own.

Now drenched in blood, my blood.

Blood that you took from my neck, after you said you hated me to the bone...

Your voice it chased away

All the sanity in me

You were supposed to be here forever, this story was never supposed to end.

These things don't happen to me, to people I know. Only unfortunate individuals I'll never have the pleasure to meet.

These people only exist on the news, hugging their broken selves as they stare at the house they once had.

Now ashes.

Our gash on the ankle, it weeps white as I slice the red raging flesh over and over.

The blood brothers scratch, the twilight hour we pushed our ankles together and our bloods mixed scarlet.

I'm reliving the moment we both winced but smiled as we each cut our bare flesh with glass from the warehouse.

I'm hoping if I do it so many times you'll tackle me to the floor and scream the words idiot over and over at me.

I know it's not possible.

But I can't help it.

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

It won't heal, our scratch now a scar.

I want you to suffer.

I know you can feel this pain, that snap at the veins that you mistake for a twist.

That's me talking to you through our scar.

I know you can feel it, it joins us.

If I get hurt, you will too.

Even the dirty blood in your veins cannot reject mine.

There's just too much that time cannot erase

Time can never erase love.

Time can't make my feelings fade.

Time can't do anything for me.

Because the clock has stopped.

I'm living because I'm breathing.

I'm breathing because I'm waiting.

I'm waiting because it's all I can do...

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I held your hand through all of these years

I just want you to come back.

PLEASE!

The noises are getting louder and the shadows are looming taller and I'm curling into a ball smaller than I ever have to escape.

This blood is not a mere connection.

It's a contract.

I hold you and you hold me.

So why am I falling deeper into this hole?

I want you to feel how I feel.

You have to love me!

I love you, love me!

We're connected in blood, that urge to kiss my naked shoulder must be as strong for you as it is for me.

Do not let this vampire change your feelings for me.

But you still have

All of me...

But if by a chance, you don't feel anything. You don't lust me like I lust you, you don't ache like I ache.

Then you have been killed.

If that's the case, then I shall confidently open the window wide so the cold night air dries the tear tracks on my face.

Because if you're dead, then I am too...

Review if you like, that would be nice.

I hope you enjoyed it. XXX