A/N:

So I have LOTS of stories I SHOULD be updating right now, but when Naffy suggested this, I couldn't turn her down!

Disclaimer: Me no own Hetalia, and Naffy wrote a TAD more than half the dialogue.

BTW, Kimi is me, but when I'm in first person, that's me talking as the author of this piece and Kimi in the PRESENT and not as Kimi in the PAST. This fic is kimiyoya. Don't ask me why, but Naffy likes it. Also, used-to-be Kimiburger (NOT kimchiburger, though I do enjoy that pairing). And no offense to belamerica fans. Naffy likes it, but it's just not my cup of tea.

Why You Should Never...:

...Let Naffy Get Bored

The Host and Hostess Clubs had closed for the day, and the members of each were all hanging out with nothing to do. Kyoya and Kimi were the only ones not staring at the wall as if expecting entertainment to pour forth from it. Kyoya was typing something on his laptop, and Kimi was calmly reading a book.

"I'm bored" Naffy declared suddenly.

"And...?" Kimi prompted, lifting her nose out of her book to look expectantly at her friend.

"Imma go stab Kyoya with a fork and see what happens." She announced, standing up from the floor and marching across the room to the Convenient Item Maker (CIM for short. We once even had a convenient cadelebra. Now THAT was cool.) to get a fork. Luckily for her, Kyoya was on the other side of the room, concentrating hard on his computer, and hadn't heard her.

"Are you mentally insane?" The twins asked incredulously, staring at her. Naffy ignored them and pulled a fork out of the CIM.

"Here we are!" She exclaimed with delight, holding the fork up to the light so that it gleamed maliciously. Don't ask me how a gleam was malicious. The better question would be how the hell we got a CIM, but unfortunately for you, I don't have the answer for either.

"Where'd that come from?" The twins asked, not noticing the CIM as she had put it on the 'out of thin air setting'.

"The duat" She replied. (BTW, I have NO idea what that is. The narrative for this piece is taken almost directly from an email chain.) With that, she snuck up behind a seemingly oblivious Kyoya and started her stabbing motion, when suddenly he turned around, twisted the fork from her hand, and stabbed her in the hand, slightly deeper than Naffy usually does.

"OW!" Naffy exclaimed in pain at the same time that Kimi ran slow motion across the room Tamaki-style, screaming.

"SHE DIDN"T MEAN IT YOYO! DON"T HURT MY BEST FRIEND~!" She yelled, trying to get in between her boyfriend and Naffy. Kyoya simply melted into the shadows behind him, glaring evilly at Naffy the entire time. The overall effect was uber creepy.

Ignoring Mr. Shadow King behind her, she pulled the fork out of Naffster's hand and hurled it across the room, where it embedded itself in the wall smack dab between the twins.

They jumped, alarmed, snapping their heads to face the two girls. Kimi paid no attention to them as she tried to make excuses for her boyfriend.

"Sorry about him. Low blood suger plus a humorless family." She apologized briskly.

"DUDE!" Alfred exclaimed, eyes wide. "Great throw!"

"Thanks!" Kimi replied, smiling. "I've been practicing with Nataliya"

"I thought you didn't like her" Naffy said, confused.

"Oh I like HER" Kimi ammended. "I just DESPISE LOATH AND ABSOLUTELY HAAAATE belamerica." When saying 'belamerica', her voice got low and evil, and a dark mist surrounded her. Then, she collected herself and the sunshine was back. "But as long as she keeps her paws off my Alfie, she and I are great friends!"

"I thought you were dating Yoyo..." Naffy said, once again confused.

"I know." Kimi replied brightly. "Just because he isn't my boyfriend doesn't mean he's not mine!" There was a hidden menace inder the cheerful words, and as if to demonstrate her point, she waved to him happily. Oblivious, he waved back just as happily. Naffy took a step away from Kimi as the dark mist started to gather again.

'What the...'

So maybe it wasn't so much about Naffy being bored by the end, but that just shows you how random our email chains are! I really loved this chain. Sorry for the short first chapeter, but the next will be longer! R&R!