Tell Me About The Rabbit…

Disclaimer: Victorious and its characters are the property of Schneider's Bakery and Nickelodeon. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. No profit is intended or wanted for this story.

"Wanna watch CSI?" Tori asked the flop-eared bunny laying on stacked pillows next to her with a carrot in front of the rabbit's twitching nose.

Munching on her own carrot, Tori pointed to the TV with the remote, changing from the Dingo Channel to CBS.

"Ooo, Justin Bieber's back this week," Tori stated, seeing the teen idol's name in the episode's guest credits.

At that moment, there was a pounding on the door accompanied by "VEGA!"

With a sigh, Tori set the remote down and rose from the sofa. Glancing at the bunny, she said, "Stay there, Bunny."

The rabbit showed no signs of wanting to go anywhere.

More hammering and another "VEGA, OPEN THE WAZZING DOOR!"

"Why Jade, what a pleasant surprise," Tori said in her sweetest voice as she opened the door.

"Where's the rabbit?" Jade demanded as she pushed past Tori.

"Would you care to come in?" Tori asked sarcastically.

Jade was already across the room and hefting the bunny into her arms. "Whoa Jade… What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm petting the rabbit, Vega." Jade turned and sat on the other side of Bunny's cushions.

Looking thoroughly confused as she watched the Goth's fingers softly stroking the small furry animal, Tori asked, "Why?"

"I like rabbits and bunnies. I thought you watched my Slap vids."

"I do but… I thought you were joking about bunnies. Or maybe not telling everything. Wait, that's it!"

"Uugh, that's what?" Jade asked tiredly.

"You like bunnies so you can do unspeakable things to them!" Tori replied as she reached for the bunny.

Jade turned away from Tori, "Nooo, I just really like bunnies."

"Why?"

"Dogs are too needy and loud. They drool on everything. Cats are too sneaky. I always thought I'd wake up at my aunt's to find Fluffy chewing on me. Actually that's a point in their favor… Mice and hamsters are too small. Snakes and lizards are cool but they're cold-blooded. Birds just try to fly away. Bunnies are warm and quiet. They're easy to take care of and aren't demanding."

"Really?" Tori asked even as she watched Jade stroke the animal lovingly.

Ignoring Tori's question, Jade asked, "What else is on?"

"You don't like CSI? I thought…"

"This is a repeat from last season. Bieber gets blown away at the end. Best thing that could happen to that little creep."

"Aw Jade! You could've give me a spoiler alert… Wait, he dies? That's this episode?" Jade nodded. "I saw it last winter! Jang it! I was hoping it was new."

"Why would Bieber's character be back if he was already dead, Vega? This isn't some horror story like Supernatural or The Walking Dead."

Choosing to ignore Jade's comment, Tori asked, "So why are you here, Jade? Other than to spoil my TV viewing and take over my bunny."

"Believe it or not, Vega, I'm here to do you a favor."

"Huh? A favor? Why? Um… You? How so?"

"Thanks to your sister, the Emergency Broadcast alert, and her allergies, your parents won't let you have any pets. So, to save you having to find a home for this little guy, I'll take him off your hands. Don't worry, I won't vivisect him or perform any type of unspeakable experiments on him. And you can come visit when you want."

"I'm invited to Casa West?" Tori asked with a small smile.

"Yes, if you don't call it Casa West anymore."

"Wait! How do you know that's a 'him'?" Tori demanded.

"Aah, didn't Mommy and Daddy explain the birds and bees to you?'

"Of course they did!" Tori replied angrily.

"Did you think to check the little guy?"

"Check?"

"Yeah." Jade held Bunny up so his legs were splayed. "See the bunny balls?"

"Oh my God! They are so cute!"

"And you think I'm sick? Vega, their balls. Rabbit balls. It's not… Yeah, they are kind of… I can't believe I'm saying this but cute is the only word that fits…"

Tori felt like it was a special moment. She made Jade agree that something was cute.

"Never tell anyone I said anything was cute! Especially bunny balls!"

Tori couldn't help but laugh. Seeing Jade break into a smile warmed her heart. Deciding Jade's presence was actually nice, she asked, "Do you want something to drink?"

"Yeah, sure. Just none of that pink chiz."

Tori chuckled again as she got them both a Wahoo.

"Thanks. And I ask again, what else is on?"

Tori let out a mingled grunt and sigh, "I'll check the guide."

As Tori clicked, she passed one of the Showtime channels. "Wait! Stop! Go back. Go back up!"

"I know what to do!" Tori replied in exasperation. "Masters of Horror?"

"Yeah! Incident On And Off A Mountain Road is great! Joe Lonsdale is a helluva good horror writer. It's just starting…"

They settled back to watch the repeat of the older cable show. It was equally parts tense and horrific. Even unsettling. But, contrary to most people's expectations, Tori loved it. She also loved spending time with Jade like this.

Two more episodes were aired in a mini-marathon. Jade had tossed the pillows to the side and the girls were sitting side by side. Before the second episode, an adaption of Lovecraft's Dreams In The Witch House, Tori was sitting with Jade's arm around her shoulder. Both were gently stroking the soft rabbit fur.

Six years later, in their Westwood apartment, Tori came home to see her girlfriend cuddling Bunny. Jade was upset.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"Bunny threw up. Twice. I got scared and looked up domestic rabbits. He only has a lifespan of nine years. And we've had him for six. Nine years, Vega!

"How old was Bunny when you got him for Sikowitz?"

"I dunno. Maybe one of two?"

"Tori, I'm afraid we might lose our Bunny."

Tori hugged her girlfriend, "Ah, sweetie… I'm sorry. I love him too.

"Wait, have you taken him to the vet?"

"No… I'm afraid she'll tell us to put him down…"

Quickly, Tori loaded Jade and Bunny in her Jetta and drove to Pet Mergency. Once inside, Jade yelled, "WHERE'S DOCTOR SUE?!"

Tori calmed her even as the young vet came out from the back. "Can I help you?"

"It's…. Bunny…" Jade started to cry and Tori took over even as she held the other girl.

"Our rabbit, Bunny, threw up a couple of times."

"Okay, let's take him in back…"

Later that night, Tori and Jade lay together on the couch with Bunny between them. Bunny had a carrot he nibbled on occasionally. Tori nibbled on Jade's as they watched the inferior The Scissoring Part 2.

Pulling away from Jade's earlobe, Tori whispered, for the third time in the past hour, "What did we learn?"

"Before Bunny can get to it, clean up the floor as soon as I spill chili…" Jade looked at Tori, "How many times are you going to ask me that?"

"Oh…I don't know. A lot?"

"You're lucky I love you, Vega!"

Note: The title is a loose quote from Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. It was also used by Bugs Bunny in an old Looney Tunes.