Walking through the park after her weekly session with Dr. Winters, Kristina wondered if there was a way to ask her mom to increase the sessions to two or even three times a week without her freaking out.

Kristina sighed, slumping into the seat of a swing set. Nope, she'd definitely freak. She grasped the chains of the swing and swayed absentmindedly as she looked around the park.

The park used to be her haven, a place to go when she felt she was about to suffocate under the weight of her problems. A quiet afternoon here always seemed to clear her head and make her feel better. But now, her eyes landing on a couple to her right, it was only making things worse. The couple held hands as they walked through the park, laughing about something she couldn't quite hear. They looked happy. Kristina quickly looked away when they stopped to kiss, upset that all the therapy over the last few months did nothing to stop the jealousy and frustration from building deep inside her.

Six months of affirmations, self-esteem exercises, and trust-building activities and she still couldn't even imagine letting someone hold her hand, let alone anything else. She was still right where she started. She couldn't remember when she began believing she would never get better, and she wasn't sure it even mattered anymore. All that mattered was that Taylor was amazing. He was considerate, patient, caring, and intelligent – everything she needed. And it still wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to stop her from flinching when he moved suddenly or tensing if he sat too close. And it certainly didn't stop her from nearly jumping out of her skin when she thought he was reaching for her hand during their study session.

Kristina couldn't stop herself from looking back at the couple, Dr. Winter's voice ringing in her ears as they walked out of sight.

Be patient. I know it's probably the last thing you want to hear, but it's true. There's no reason to rush into anything; physical intimacy is only one part of a relationship. For now, focus on building emotional intimacy. Share your thoughts and feelings with someone. You may be surprised at how much it helps.

She scoffed at the thought. Kristina didn't tell Dr. Winters, but she wasn't sharing her thoughts and feelings with anyone, especially not Taylor. She wasn't kidding herself, she knew he was aware of what happened between her and Kiefer. She told him bits and pieces herself in an attempt to counteract what she knew kids at school were saying behind her back. But even though he was always understanding, she just couldn't shake the fear that if she revealed any more, any of the dark, broken things she kept hidden inside, he wouldn't want anything to do with her. There was a big difference between knowing what happened and knowing who she was because of it. No, she needed to get better on her own. But, if the key to physical intimacy was to build emotional intimacy, she wasn't sure what to do. She wasn't really opening up to anyone these days.

Her Mom made her promise to come to her whenever she needed to talk but she couldn't, not about this. She knew she just blamed herself for what happened and that was the last thing Kristina wanted. It was also hard to ignore the impatient look she sometimes caught in her mother's eyes. She knew it wasn't intentional; she just desperately wanted her straight-A, college-bound daughter back on track. But it still hurt. She couldn't talk to Molly either, though she tried to help. Every so often she would drop off a new book on trauma and recovery from the public library and hint that she would be around if Kristina wanted to talk. As much as she loved Molly there was just so much she wouldn't understand, and probably shouldn't. Sam had been great after she got out of the hospital but she was so busy lately they hadn't really gotten a chance to talk. She had been tempted to call Michael but, as selfish as she could be, she knew he was dealing with his own problems and they weren't the kind you discuss with your little sister, even if she is your best friend.

When she stopped by the penthouse a few days ago, she overheard Jason and Sam talking about him. Apparently, Michael requested an escort again and Sam found him one, behind Jason's back. She didn't know what happened after that but, from the way Jason was talking about it, she could guess it didn't go well. And though she was sure Sam was only trying to help, even she could have told her it was a bad idea. She remembered what happened the night Ali tried to take Michael's shirt off at the country club.

That night she saw something in Michael that was becoming all too common since he was released from Pentonville. It was the same look she saw the day he fought Bryce at Madison and the night he attacked Warren Bauer. He was different. She did her best to ignore it, convincing herself that whatever it was, it could be fixed. Even when she started to doubt her own ability to get better, she still desperately, and maybe selfishly, clung to the belief for Michael. If he could be fixed, then so could she.

Before she left she heard Jason tell Sam that Michael didn't need an escort but someone he knew, someone who cared about him. He clearly thought Michael needed to slow down, not rush into anything. Kristina rolled her eyes. Jason would love Dr. Winters.

Kristina stretched her legs out in front of her, drawing patterns in the dirt beneath the swing with her foot, the grass having long since worn away. Though she agreed the whole escort thing was a bad idea, she could definitely understand. If Michael was anything like her, and she knew he was, he would hate being told to be patient. There was nothing more frustrating, especially for Michael who already felt like he had lost so much time. But, in one way, Jason might have had a point. Michael might have freaked out with Ali because he didn't know her and didn't trust her yet. Even though she still felt a little guilty for pushing Michael and Ali together, she wasn't ready to give up. But if that was the problem, it was one she couldn't solve. Michael didn't know any girls his own age ... except her.

She sat up straighter as realization hit her. Maybe she could help Michael. It wouldn't be that bad and the end result would be worth it. And she wouldn't have to worry about Michael hurting her, he would never hurt her. Then he would see that he could be close to a girl without freaking out, and maybe he'd be ready to give Ali a chance. She had to admit that it might help her, too. She wasn't afraid to open up to Michael and maybe creating intimacy with him would make things easier with Taylor.

She quickly dug her phone out of her purse, wanting to call him before she had a chance to change her mind.

"Hey, is everything ok?" he asked, answering the phone on the first ring.

Kristina smiled at her brother's concern. "Yeah, I'm just calling to see if you're interested in hanging out tonight. I could really use someone to talk to."

"Yeah, sure. Did something happen?"

"No, it's just … my Mom and Molly have been suffocating me. And it's obvious they don't understand so I feel really alone when I'm around them. And I don't feel that way with you," Kristina admitted quietly.

Michael paused. "You can come over now. Dante is staying with Lulu so it would just be us."

"Actually, I have something I need to do first but I'll be over in a couple of hours."

"Ok. I'll see you then."

"Bye."

"Bye."

She wouldn't tell Dr. Winters.