This was made for StarshipSailer. A challenge about Snape's feelings after Dumbledore's death. Sorry for any spelling mistakes, my computer doesn't have spell check :(

R&R?

Disclaimer ~ Everything is down to our Queen J.K.R :)

*Avada Kedavra* Severus stood there and watch him fall, the only man that really knew him was dead, and he was the one responsable. While the other death eaters fled from the scene he waited, he couldn't go down there with tears in his eyes, that would defenatly give him away. After a few minutes he turned on the spot and went to go down the steps.

"How could you?" Serverus snapped back around to try and find the source of the voice. "He trusted you, i tried to warn him against you but he trusted you, and you go and do this. I hate you!" spat Harry, reveiling himself from beneath his invisability cloak. Snape paused momentarily at looked Harry directly in the eyes, those eyes he fell in love with all those years ago. "You don't know the half of it Potter, now come with me"

"Im not stupid, im not going to let you take me straight into his hands"

"And if you stay here he will get you anyway. For once in your life trust me boy" And he grabbed Harry's arm and apparated before he could protest.

They landed outside a small cottage in what looked like a tiny village. There were a few other houses around but all the lights were off. Snape pulled Harry through the door, locking it and pulling the curtains with his wand before putting on a light.

"Now go upstairs and find a bedroom for the night Potter. You're safe for now, i'll explain in the morning" he said in a much softer tone than usual. Harry just stood there looking at his former teacher with a mix of confusion and disgust. "JUST GO" Severus slammed the door as soon as Harry left the room. He looked around the room. He spotted a picture of Dumbledore in the corner and picked it up. He stared into the peircing blue eyes he had amired and for the first time since he lost the love of his life sixteen years ago he broke down. His legs gave way beneath him as he sobbed. "Im sorry Albus, Im sorry i had to be the one to do it"

From the other side of the door, Harry sat slumped against the door in a state of shock. It didn't seem was dead and he was listening to his hard nosed teacher, who he had hated for so many years, brake down. For a minute he was temped to try and comsole Snape but stopped himself. He climbed the stairs and fell into bed, reliving the actions of that night over and over in his head untill he fell into a light broken sleep.

The next morning, Harry begrudgeinly went downstairs to find Snape sat at a table in what he presumed was a dining room. "Sit there Potter and listen" He waited untill Harry was sat oppisite him to carry on "This is Dumbledore's secret safe house, we are in a place called Tiverton, in the south west. Only me and him knew about it and it was made incase situations like this should arise, and you shall stay here untill after your seventeenth birthday when it will be safe to move you to the Weasley's."

"Why did you do it?" Serverus looked straight at him and felt his resolve begin to break. "I ... I had to, he was a dying man, he was carrying a curse he contracted whilst helping you on your little mission destoying 'you know who'".

"How dare you try to put the blame on me you were the one to raise your wand and if it wasn't for you he would have died a peaceful death, but you murdered him. You're a murderer. You're no better than Voldemort himself, but i surpose you would take that as a compliment wouldn't you"

Snape slammed his fist onto the table, stood up and put his face so close to Harry's he could feel his breath on his face "No, how dare YOU!, you have no idea how i felt last night, how i feel now. And if you failed to notice or are too thick to pay attention it was me thatstopped you from falling of your broom when you were eleven, and it was me in the order last year protecting you from Voldemort, so don't you dare compare me to him. Also for your information he still would have been killed,Voldemort had ordered the Malfoy to do it, so i saved his life last night as well as yours." He paused for a moment to sit back down and softened his tone. "I hate the that i had to be the one to do it, it feels as though a part of my soul has died with him. He was the only person to know the real me, to everyone else im living a lie."

Harry furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "What do you mean the real you? So are you good or bad"

Severus sighed " Both, well good really. I was, well still am, Dumbledores spy for the dark side. Even Lord Voldemort believes i really am a death eater... Potter, this must not go further than you and me. Do you hear me" He paused and waiting for Harry's nod of agreement before continueing. "Before your parents died i was a death eater. But when i heard what he was planning on doing to Lilly...your parents i went to Dumbledore to help protect them but...but it was too late by the time i got there to move them to safety. I could never forgive him for what he did to Lilly." He wiped a tear hoping that Harry didn't notice. Harry just stared at him confused. "Have you ever seen my patronus? *expecto patronum* A beautiful silver doe shot out of the end of Snape's wand, dancing around the room before stopping next to Harry. "A doe Potter, the same as Lilly's. My first love, but i was never good enough for her, she fell in love with that idiot Potter boy and had you.Do you have any idea how much it hurts to see her eyes in you everyday. How could i ever grow to like you, you are a constant reminder of something i never had." Snape got up, walked to the window and stared out at the view from the cottage. "You can go now Potter, try to keep out of my way when im here. It's enough that i have to babysit you when your here."

Harry stood and exited the room trying to make sence of everything he had just heard. Before closeing the door, he turned to his old potions proffeser "Sir... Im sorry for being such a git in your lessons." Snape turned to him. They shared a smale smile before Harry closed the door behind him. For the first time since starting Hogwarts he liked and even admired Severus Snape.