A/N: It's been a while since I last posted anything. As usual, I've been busy with life. Anyways, this story has been hanging in my head for a while now and finally, I got to finishing it. Thank you so much to IzzexDiyanah for being my beta. This one is dedicated to those who knows what it feels like to lose someone.
"Cause' I can't sleep without you here…"
There was a private funeral that day. Not many were present and invitations were never handed out. If anyone found out, it would be massive news. No one shed tears, but their faces portrayed an image of sorrow and pain.
It rained that day, heavily, almost as if the sky itself was grieving for them, if not with them. Everything was black — everything except the casket and white roses.
A minister read the prayers and when he left, the rain had begun to stop. Family members left – each just as shocked as the other. Georg and Gustav left, heads hanging, murmuring words of condolences, leaving the Kaulitz twins, standing side by side, looking exactly the same, one supporting the other.
They stood for a long time, quietly staring at the casket, waiting for something ― anything! ― to happen. One had already begun feeling the lost; the other was still dazed, unwilling to believe that all this had happened. What went wrong? That was the one question that haunted his mind, that he couldn't quite let go of, unable to wrap his head around the idea that she was gone.
He held two tickets in his hand ― they were plane tickets, believe it or not ― for them. They had made plans to go on a vacation a long time ago and only now those plans were to happen. He came back, with the thought of surprising her with the tickets to the Maldives, only to find out that it was never meant to be.
Only yesterday he heard her sweet voice, laughing over the phone, excited over the news that they would soon be reunited. Only yesterday they had plans for a wonderful dinner and only yesterday, he had made up his mind about the rest of his life.
But yesterday was a word that was filled with bitter promises, and they were promises that he couldn't keep.
His hands fished out a small black box from his pocket, tears rolling down his cheeks. He knew the time had now come to settle down because finally, he had found her, he had found The One.
"Is it too late to tell you now that I love you?" he whispered towards the closed casket. He felt a hand around his shoulder. He knew his twin felt his pain.
"Tom," Bill started. "It's time to go."
As the sky kept pouring out its content to the earth, Bill urged Tom to move. It was time to leave, he thought, noticing the camera lenses peeking out of the bushes. He knew it was something that Tom wouldn't be aware of. Not today. He knew it was already too late. Those lenses would've already captured these personal moments.
The rain stopped and rays of sunlight pierced through the veil of cloud. Tom's cheeks were still wet from the downpour of tears. He felt his eyes sting. He had never let quite so many tears leave his eyes. Never.
He missed her more than ever now. Somehow, he still felt like she was at her apartment, waiting for him with excitement and that the white casket in front of him was empty, devoid of a body, devoid of anything.
A thought nagged at the back of his head and he wondered, for the longest time, if someone was playing a cruel joke on him. Because this was the cruelest trick anyone could conjure up.
Nothing mattered that moment, nothing except for that white casket. He felt his brother pull him by his shoulders. "It's time to leave," he had said. Tom didn't move, not even an inch. He didn't want to. At that moment, all he wanted to do was stand. Tempted to rip the casket open, he started stepping towards it, something in the back of his mind whispering the fact that no one had played a cruel joke on him and indeed, the one he loved was no longer walking the earth.
Stepping into a pool of water, Tom knelt and placed the black box on the casket, hidden beneath her favourite roses. He remembered the moment the jeweler handed him the solitaire ring, the words "Mein Engel" engraved on the inside. It was the perfect plan. Everything was supposed to be perfect ― the proposal, the engagement and the day that she would officially be his.
He missed the way she molded according to his body when they slept. He missed the way her fingers fit between his. He missed the way she was able to soothe him when he was stressed. It sounded cliché, even to him, but maybe being in love always had that feel to it.
The casket faded away into the distance and he realized he was moving. Towards where and in what, he hadn't an idea. But he didn't care. He didn't want to care. Simply moving along sounded good. It sounded easy. It sounded like heaven.
The numbing pain was exactly what he needed. Feeling empty, feeling light, he slid into oblivion, he felt himself give up. Maybe, finally, his end had arrived. It was here. And it was just in time.