I'm aware that I'm a few days late for posting this one, but life's been determined to make writing difficult (job searching, relatives being hospitalised, a string of bad days etc) so apologies if it's not fantastic.
But I hope it's still okay to read, and I'm hoping to do something later this week too (though I can't promise anything). So yeah, enjoy day one and two of smut week combined to make their first 69 in a first curse AU :D
...
She's not usually like this; practically salivating over someone she's just met. But the man currently in Regina's kitchen is incredibly sexy and ruggedly handsome, and she's pacing the living room all hot and bothered with an itch that needs scratching.
It's by pure chance that they have met; of all the days where her sink has to spring a leak, it has to be the one where her usual repairman is ill. And so instead of the grey-haired, self-proclaimed 'Mr Fix-It' she'd have no issue being around, she gets the English gentleman now dubbed 'Mr. Sex-on-Legs' who is making her life hell.
She's let him get on with his repairs, avoiding him at all costs so as to avoid blurting out something along the lines of 'you wanna fuck?' or anything equally as embarrassing.
And just when she's managed to reign in her sudden 'take me now' attitude, he calls her into the kitchen, and she's greeted with the sight of his head under the sink and his firm ass in the air.
It takes a second or two for her to remember what air is.
"Did you need something?" she finally manages, attempting to keep her voice under control.
He emerges from under her sink, a smudge of something on his cheek and a smirk that makes her insides all gooey. "I don't suppose I could get a drink?"
Half of Regina wants to quip 'you're not the only one who's thirsty', but the other half shakes their head in embarrassment. "What would you like?"
"A cup of tea would be lovely."
Regina walks over to the cupboard, cataloguing all the different flavours she has and asking him; "What kind?"
"Um... Normal tea?" When he sees the confused frown on her face, he elaborates; "the British kind?"
Regina grimaces as she turns to him, "I don't actually have that one; I only have fruit teas... But I make a good cup of coffee?"
"Perfect. Thanks, love."
By the time Regina's closed the cupboard, his head is back in the cupboard and her eyes are back on his ass.
It's a wonder she doesn't manage to burn herself whilst dealing with hot water, lord knows her attention has strayed enough from the coffee pot one too many times - but every so often she'll hear a quiet groan or a grunt from a couple of meters away from her, and fixing a damn sink shouldn't be so damn sexy but here she is; leaning against her kitchen work top and working out a more pleasurable way to extract those noises from him.
"You're coffee's ready," Regina announces when she decides fantasizing about the handyman can only lead to disaster. She makes sure to turn away when his shifting skews his shirt and reveals a band of skin, only returning her gaze to him when she's sure he's standing.
Regina can't help her amused smile when she spies an extra dark smudge across his forehead. Grabbing the cloth nearest to her, she tosses it in his direction, explaining; "you have a dirt on your face."
He places down his coffee, chuckling, "it's alright; I don't mind getting dirty."
'Please do,' Regina thinks, then almost buries her face in her hands at how ridiculous she's being. She is not some horny teenager; she is a woman who can control her needs until she can do something about them. In private.
The silence as they both sip their coffee is slightly awkward, Regina trying not to imagine Robin naked, and Robin thinking about... God knows what Robin was thinking about. Probably how weird his new customer was.
Regina searches her mind for something to say, something unsexy, something about her sink.
"Thank you for coming so quickly," she smiles, before cringing and hastily adding; "to fix my kitchen, I mean."
Mr. Sex-on-Legs smiles, inclines his head and replies with; "Don't worry about it; I'm very flexible."
Regina is sure the world is against her right now, her mind running amok with all of the possible positions they could get into as if he isn't standing right next to her.
"I'm almost done with the actual repairs, though you'll need a new base for your cupboard," he offers, and Regina's thankful for something she can't turn into a poor innuendo.
"I know, I'll get around to that tomorrow."
"I can do that now if you like?"
Regina pauses, meets his eyes, her situation momentarily under control. "Really? I haven't bought the materials yet."
"It's alright; I've got wood."
For a second Regina just stands there, even when Robin leaves her to go and fetch said wood, her eyes are still gazing ahead and desperately trying not to picture him with the other kind of wood.
She fails - and is in the middle of mentally deciding he'd not be too long, but would most certainly be thick, when he walks back in.
Regina can feel her cheeks burning, but fortunately he's too busy repairing the bottom of her sink cupboard where the water had left an ugly stain to notice. She closes her eyes as she turned back to the counter, taking deep breaths and trying not to look at the man kneeling down a couple of metres away. Though it's not too long before she hears rummaging, the metallic cling-clang of toolbits knocking together as he searches through his box.
"What do you need?" Regina asks, thinking that perhaps she could have whatever it is in her draw where odd things with no particular place go.
"I need a long screw," Robin says, and Regina just about holds back her moan.
Lord have mercy on her soul.
Unable to resist the suggestions running through her mind, Regina quips; "I could give you one."
Robin pauses in his work, his eyes studying her face before he stands and walks towards her, a salacious smirk tugging at his lips. "How long of a screw would this be?"
Regina masks her surprise at seeing him play along, quirking her brow and decided 'to hell with it' as she declares; "However long you want it."
"Are they of good quality?" he asks in all seriousness, and Regina fights to keep her smile from breaking her face.
"You'll be satisfied."
Robin lets out an approving hum. "Are they single-pack or can I get more than one?"
"Depends on if you like the first one," Regina quips back, and he can't seem to bite back his smile.
"Something tells me I'll love it."
"I'm sure you will."
It's then that all pretence fails, when they realise what they've agreed to through poorly phrased innuendo, and a bubble of laughter escapes them.
Robin leans against the counter, letting his eyes blatantly peruse her body before his eyes meet hers and he asks; "Is this the point where I admit I think you're incredibly hot?"
Regina smiles, her gaze dropping to his mouth as she tries to come up with a worthy response, but his teeth sink into his lower lip as he smirks, and all she can think about is kissing him.
And so she does.
She takes a step forward, her hands grasping his cotton polo shirt so she can pull him to her, and kisses him.
His surprise comes out as a muffled moan into her mouth, but then he's threading his hands through her hair and tangling his tongue with hers, and Regina feels the tension that has been coiling inside her start to abate somewhat.
Robin pulls her to fit between him and the counter top, trapping her between one hard place and another, and Regina raises her thigh to slide against the one in front of her. She can't help feeling victorious at Robin's answering groan as he tightens his grip on her hips and drags his teeth over her lower lip.
His mouth moves to her neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses up to her jaw with enough swirls of his tongue and scrapes of his teeth that her hands forgo unfastening his belt to grasp the counter behind her for support.
He feels good. Oh so good. And for a short while she just relaxes and revels, lets herself be swept up in the stranger in front of her - dear god what is she doing? - and enjoy the feeling of being seduced with kisses.
Regina just has enough sense left to recognise the feeling of him untucking her shirt, his fingertips coming into contact with the skin of her stomach and trailing patterns until she has goosebumps all over her. Her thigh grinds harsher against him in response, making him groan and bite the skin of her neck as his fingers start hastily unbuttoning her shirt.
Whilst Regina is enjoying being the focus of his ministrations, she can't help feeling as if their dalliance is being too onesided, and so Regina focusses her mind back onto Robin and away from the way his body has her core tightening and wetness pooling between her thighs. She grabs his hands before her can finish unbuttoning her shirt, pushing him back onto her kitchen table and continuing until he has no choice but to take a seat atop the marble surface. Regina's lips attach to his neck, her teeth scraping over his skin as her hands tug his cotton shirt until he's releasing her to pull it over his head.
Her eyes rake over his torso, her lip catching between her teeth as she drags her fingertips down the defined planes of his chest - ignoring his smug 'like what you see?' in order to unfasten his belt and tug at his trousers. With a playful roll of his eyes, he supports his weight on his hands as he lifts his hips so she can remove them, and then she's looking at him expectantly as she grasps his underwear, and he lifts himself so she can remove those too.
She was right; he's not too long in length, but Regina bites her lip at his girth and imagines just how delicious it'll feel when he's finally inside her.
A devilish grin appears on her lips and her gaze flickers up to his as she steps between his legs, her fingers leaving feather-light touches up the skin of his thighs and feeling the muscles underneath quiver.
It's as if he then realises that she's still fully dressed whilst he's butt naked; impatiently reaching forward, unfastening the last button on her shirt and pulling it off of her. For a moment his eyes take in the sight of her, the black silk bra with red lace trimming, looking one moment away from salivating over her. But instead he starts pushing at her skirt, easing it past her hips to reveal matching underwear and letting it fall to the floor - it's then that he can't hold in his moan.
Regina smiles. She feels sexy under his gaze, wanted, beautiful...
Robin pulls her close, his hands running over her body as his lips fuse to hers, and Regina lets herself get swept up in this man who she's known for all of an hour.
Seriously; what the hell is she doing?
Feeling good, is the answer. Feeling oh-so-very good and making someone else feel very good in return.
He's not going to know what hit him, she decides; she's going to make him come apart until he's crying out for her to stop. And even then she's not sure that she will.
With a renewed purpose and a smirk on her lips, she trails her mouth down his chest, pausing to catch a nipple between her teeth and grinning at his intake of breath through gritted teeth, before she moves further down, dragging her nails along his thighs up to her intended destination.
She's surprised when he hooks a finger under her chin and draws her back up in a kiss, though one of her hands still reaches for him and gives a few lazy strokes - revelling in his groan into her mouth.
"You first," he mumbles when they part, his fingers trailing around her hips until he's kneading handfuls of her ass.
She shakes her head, nuh-uh's in disagreement - she's determined to ruin his sense of sanity first, after all - and starts to head back to where she was. But Robin pulls her against him, his eyes boring into hers as he declares; "I insist."
Regina likes the chivalry, honestly she does, and any other time she'd be splaying herself for him before he had time to blink. But she's mentally vowed to make him fall apart first, and so he's not the only one who insists; "So do I."
They're both stubborn, and they both knowing neither of them will back down, and it becomes a silent stand-off as they each try to work out a compromise.
But then Regina comes up with a plan for them both to get what they want.
She eyes the tabletop behind Robin, and, seeing nothing dangerous for him to lie on, pushes him onto his back.
He's confused for a few seconds until she drops her silk underwear to the floor - then his eyes light up and he licks his lips in a blatant show of desire that has Regina feeling desired and powerful.
With a smirk, she climbs atop the marble counter, straddling his thighs and pushing him back down when he moves to sit up.
"Regina..." he breathes out warningly, and she merely grins harder in response.
"I have an idea."
He nods his consent, but still looks slightly wary as she shifts to his right and crawls higher up the table. She tries to make it sexy. Doesn't know if it's actually worked or not.
When she has almost reached the height of his shoulders, she gives him one last look as if to ask if he's sure, but he just smiles and looks intrigued. And so she goes ahead with her idea.
She misses his confused frown when she turns away from him, but seconds after she's placed a knee on the other side of him and started to shuffle backwards, she hears his understanding 'oh' and feels his hands stroking up his thighs.
His mouth is on her a moment later, and her head drops to his thigh with the very first kiss to her clit. God, she needs this. Two months in Storybrooke hasn't left her much time to pursue a bed partner, and whilst she has become used to satisfying her urges herself, it's so much better when someone else does it for her.
With another moan into his thigh, she lets him pull her down futher onto her mouth. It's only when she feels his hips shift underneath her that she remembers what position she's in, and what she's supposed to be doing to him in return. She can't let him get a head-start on her.
Her tongue mimics the slow circles she can feel around her centre, swiping around the head and spreading the bead of arousal she finds there. His moan vibrates through her, and from his resulting grunt, hers travels through him too.
They spend their time building each other up, initially revelling in pleasure brought by leisurely licks, sucks and strokes. But then there's a blatant desire for release building, and it becomes an unspoken competition to see who can get the other off first.
Regina's determined to win, adding a twist to each downstroke of her hand, taking him further into her mouth until he's hitting the back of her throat with every bob of her head. She can feel his thighs tensing against the arm she's leaning upon the tabletop, a smirk tugging at her lips whenever the sweep of her tongue elicits a thrust of his hips.
Though Robin's efforts were admirable indeed; figuring out which patterns of his tongue she likes with each rhythm of his fingers inside her, and every so often his teeth will lightly scrape her sensitive flesh and she'll buck into his mouth, moaning around his cock.
Neither of them want to lose, both of them far too invested in winning to give in to the pleasure ricocheting throughout their bodies, but oh what a challenge it is...
It's Regina who tumbles over the precipice first, a chance press of Robin's thumb against her ass coupled with a particularly harsh suck on her clit, and she's careening into one of the most intense orgasms of her life.
If Robin's disappointed when her mouth leaves his cock, it soon turns into relief when she bites down on his thigh, hard enough that there will certainly be a mark there for days to come. Though when she has come down from her high, she moves off of him and shifts to rest next to him.
Still breathing heavy and aching for release, Robin sits up to look at her, watching her grimace as she straightens out her legs.
Her eyes meet his and she quirks a brow; "marble is hell on the knees."
Robin's hands rise to rub over her legs, his thumbs brushing across the red skin as he smiles at her.
Regina's gaze falls to his erection, and when she raises her eyes to meet his again he's almost blown away by how suggestive they are.
"How do you want me?" she asks, biting her lip and grinning at the stupified look on his face.
He grins with her and shuffles backwards so he can kneel between her thighs, his eyes roaming her body as his hands grasp her waist and push her so she's lying down.
"Hell on the knees," she reminds him as he pulls her hips into his lap, but he merely smirks and offers a wry 'I won't take long anyway' that has her feeling a surge of pride.
"Is this okay?" he asks, and now is a bit late to ask that sort of question - it's not as if she'd say no though; he's made her feel so good already. But then she realises what he means, and even having the general safety questions seems a little late when he's only a centimetre away from hitting home.
"I'm good," she assures him.
"I'm good too."
"Then what are you waiting for?"
His grin is infectious and he leans over her, pressing his lips to hers in what is probably an attempt at a kiss - but he chooses that moment to guide himself into her and all normal functions cease to work; they're merely breathing the same air.
He starts off slow, a few measured thrusts to ensure they are both ready, but after a firm, encouraging heel digs into his thigh, he picks up the pace.
Still sensitive from her previous orgasm, several moans tumble free from Regina's lips before she has the chance to stifle them, her arm outstretching over her head in an attempt to grip onto something - even though the only thing she succeeds in doing is knocking her basket of apples onto the floor. Now her pleasure is building again, she feels a desire to reach that peak once more, and Robin's previous assurance that he wouldn't last long has her hand worming its way in between them so that she can get the friction she needs on her clit.
Though Robin has other ideas; leaning forward to wrap an arm under her back, he sits up and takes her with him. In this position he's reaching even deeper inside her, and every thrust has him grinding again her clit, and it's God... So good.
Regina's head tips back on a moan, and the fact that her sore knees are back against the marble doesn't even bother her when there's pleasure blooming with every thrust down onto his cock.
They're both oblivious to the rhythmic creaks of the table legs, and the vase that tips over and rolls to join the apples on the floor with a smash, their entire attentions are on each other and chasing their release. Robin's teeth latch onto the juncture between Regina's neck and shoulder, groaning into her skin as she rides him even harder.
"Close," he warns through another groan, and Regina doubles her efforts to make him fall apart underneath her.
He calls her name as he tenses, his upward thrusts becoming erratic as his fingertips dig into her hips. Regina continues grinding her hips against his, enjoying his strangled moans as she takes him over the edge and into over-sensitivity.
Her hand moves back to her clit to counter the lack of thrusting on Robin's part, and she feels herself spiralling higher and higher. But then Robin's had too much and he uses the hands on her hips to hold her still as he slips out of her.
Gritting her teeth, Regina holds back a frustrated sob from being denied whilst she is so close to the edge, but then Robin's fingers are where his cock had been and she tips her head back on a moan. It's not exactly the deep pressure that she'd had before, but his fingers curl and it's much more focussed, much more acute, and Regina's nails score the skin of his back as she tightens around him, crying out her release into his shoulder.
He chuckles as she comes down from her second high, his free hand smoothing over her hair as he presses his lips to her temple. Not being able to resist breathing a joking; "if only all my customers tipped like this..."
Her head rises so she can glare at him, her hair is mussed, her eyes are glazed, but she's not fuckstruck enough to lack the fire to thump her fist into his shoulder as she calls him a 'jerk'. And then there's a pause before they're both chuckling - at the ridiculousness of their situation and to combat the awkwardness creeping in.
Regina winces as she climbs off of him, sending another glare his way when she feels her knees ache twice as much as before. She's tempted to hit him again when he just shrugs and grins, but then he moves out of her reach to lower himself back to the floor again.
Following suit, she starts to collect her items of clothing, donning them as she goes. She wonders how the hell her shirt has managed to be almost halfway across the room from the rest of her clothes, but with a roll of her eyes she collects it anyway. But then her eyes catch sight of the wooden leg of her table - or more specifically; the crack that runs from the tabletop to the floor.
A frown scrunches her features as she runs her fingers over the split wood, and then she turns to Robin with an accusatory; "You broke my kitchen table."
Robin pauses in pulling his shirt over his head, his gaze flicking from her to the marble and back again. "It's still standing."
"It's cracked."
"To be fair, that was probably your doing," he smirks, but then he takes note of the pout of her lips and moves towards her to assure her; "Relax; I can fix that next time."
Regina scoffs, stands straight, crosses her arms in front of her as she raises a brow. "Next time?"
"Yeah, 'next time'. And after I've fixed that..." he starts, smirking as he grasps her waist and leans to whisper in her ear; "we can see what other furniture we can break."