Eight Letters, Three Words
Eight letters. Three words. I love you. I got shot.
Two short and simple sentences. And yet, two that were so long and so loaded and not at all simple. They weren't little sentences that could just be thrown around. They needed to be taken seriously and they weren't things you could just say because you felt like it. They meant something and you couldn't say them without being prepared for any reactions you may or may not receive.
I love you.
She hadn't been prepared. Kate hadn't been at all prepared. She had been lying on the ground, bleeding out, dying. Since when had that become the perfect time to tell somebody that you loved them? Since when?
And now, here she was, lying in her hospital bed alone. Because she had sent Josh away and told him not to come back. She hoped he understood what she meant because she sure as hell did not feel like explaining it to him. So she lay there waiting for him to show up. Not Josh, no, not Josh. Castle.
I got shot.
And she was recovering fine. She was doing alright. Good might be pushing it but she was doing okay. And she was surprisingly happy. She was so happy that, when she thought about it, she thought it may be just a side effect from all the drugs they were pumping into her.
Happy. Since when had that been a part of her life? For the past few months, she'd been anything but happy. And now...now? She's just been shot. Why was she so happy?
I love you.
His voice was playing over and over in her head. All she wanted was to see him again. She needed to see him again and tell him that she ... that she what? Felt the same? But, did she? She wasn't sure. Her emotions were all over the place. How could she be sure if she felt the same?
She liked him. She did. A lot. And she'd always known that their relationship was not just partners or friends. She's always known that she could love him. If she let herself. But she had never let herself. There was always something in the way. Demming, Gina, Josh...and now this.
I got shot.
Josh came back to her room not long after. She guessed that he hadn't understood. But she was so lonely and tired of waiting for Castle that she didn't send him away again. She let him sit next to her. But she didn't talk to him. He assumed she was just tired and not feeling well. He didn't push.
Time passed and suddenly she was tired of waiting. She asked Josh to call Castle for her. She needed to make sure he knew she was okay. At least, that was what she told Josh.
I love you.
He showed up with flowers. Flowers. She had to hold back the smile. She let out a weak one and Josh excused himself. Castle was staring at her. She hadn't even thought about that. She'd barely thought about how she looked at all. And now, it was the only thing she could think about.
The next thing she heard come out of her mouth was, "I hear that you tried to save me."
Wait. What? Suddenly she can't stop herself. She can't tell him that she knows what he said because then what? What would happen then? How could they possibly work? Everything would be fighting against them.
So she continued with the charade of not remembering. Luckily, Josh didn't know she remembered. Nobody did.
I got shot.
When Castle left, she held the sadness in. She had to fight every urge in her body yearning to call him back and tell him the truth. Josh came back but she made it clear this time that she didn't want him around. She told him to leave and he understood this time. She didn't want to see him again. They were over.
Night fell and she was alone in her room. She'd told Castle to leave. She'd told Josh to leave. She'd told the boys to not come until tomorrow.
She was alone.
I love you.
I got shot.
Simple sentences that have too much baggage. You can't say either without causing questions to be asked or doubts to be raised. How could three words, eight letters, cause so much damage?
I love you.
I got shot.
And, alone in her room, she finally let herself cry.
A/N: Thoughts? Please leave a review!
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