One day Paula Dean woke up in her bed anxious to go to work. She got out of bed and put in her bunny slippers and headed downstairs. She fired up the oven and started cookin'.
First she got her tub of lard, some salt, and a whole lot of butter. "Really just a crazy amount of butter." She first made some buttermilk butter chunk biscuits. Then she fried up some bacon in some lard and ate her merry breakfast and went on her way.
As Paula was on her way to work she noticed that the people were acting strange. "OH Dear! "Said Paula "It looks as if those homeless men are chewing on each other." She was scared of homeless people because of what happened to her as a child but she gained the courage to murder both homeless men in cold blood. Little did she know that they were actually ZOMBIES!
Paula Dean went to the set to get ready for the show. [Paula in her dressing room:] "Ooh I wonder what apron I should wear." "Maybe the one with flowers."
Paula goes to the set and gets ready to cook. She asks the camera man if he's ready but he just grunts. She gets out her tubs of butter, sticks of butter, some spices, and a chicken. She's ready for the show.
Bang! The doors burst open with zombies and they all rush on the set. Paula yells," Ahhh!" Then she realizes that the zombies are just hungry so she tells them to go sit in the audience area.
[Paula explaining how to cook:] "Now today we are going to be making butter roasted chicken, said Paula. First you will want to put your chicken in the pan and melt your butter and lather it on your chicken with your sauce brush. After you have done that you will get your spices and rub down your chicken with it, you may want to go over it again with your butter melt."
"While you are letting your chicken cool for a few minutes you will chop up some vegetables."
"Oh God security the people are eating the camera man. Ahh!"
As the zombies were eating the camera man Paula Dean runs out to her car to get some "stuff". She comes in guns blazing and she just murdered all the zombies.
Paula goes back to her house and gets her hummer with a snow plow and a machine gun mount and she goes to the city. As Paula enters Hollywood she plows through zombies with her hummer and goes to CNN Studios to kill all of the anchormen.
Paula sees a giant horde of flesh hungry zombies rushing towards her as she is killing the sports announcer and Paula runs out to her hummer. As she enters it she gets on the machine gun mount and blows their heads to bits, flesh peeling back on their heads just makes Paula Dean just makes her feel so amazing.
[Narrator:] Oh! She's crazy.
As she kills the entire horde she goes and rolls around on the bodies screaming, "It rolls on the pretty."
[Narrator:] Wow! I thought she was weird before.
She leaves to go to her favorite place in the world, the only place she could truly love the… BUTTER FACTORY but it was closed down so she committed suicide.
One day Paula was wondering around on a farm as her zombie self and she got shot by some guy in a cowboy hat.