Shin Sangoku Musou Blast Reunion

The long-time generics of the DW series have finally gained their unique designs and potential to be playable in the future games! How will their close associates react to it? Sorry for OOC, crappy dialogue and humor, grammar errors, etc. because I'm still new here and a noob. Dynasty Warriors is owned by Koei.

Chapter 1: Introduction

-Koei HQ-

Shu side

Zhang Bao: So….what are we doing here, huh?

Guan Xing: Not so sure….hey Zhao Yun, what are we going to do here?

Zhao Yun: Hm? Oh, I just got a letter saying that we should go to the Koei HQ.

Xu Shu: Eh? What for?

Zhao Yun: They said that our long-time generic allies have been given makeover as unique NPCs, and we will soon meet them here.

Ma Chao: Oh, really? Does that include my father?

Zhao Yun: Umm….yes, it seems he made it. Anyways, we have to wait for 2 hours before they came.

All: WHAT?! TWO HOURS?!

Zhang Fei: This is unforgivable! What are we going to do here for 2 hours?!

Ma Dai: Yeah, at least they would be kind to tell us beforehand…

Liu Bei: Now calm down, people! There are MANY generics who's been transformed, so at least you all would be so kind to wait here for a bit…..

Zhao Yun: That's true! Come on, you all will meet all of your loved ones you've been fighting with for years, so be patient, okay?

Wu side

Sun Ce: Ughh…what a bother. For what purpose did they call us here, anyway?

Zhou Yu: It's because you're always up all night playing Persona 3 , anyway.

Sun Ce: Hey, not my fault! That goddamn Reaper…..

Sun Shangxiang: Um, if I remember it involves something about Blast, is that right?

Lu Xun: Ooh, we're going to blast things with fire?

Zhu Ran: Yay! I have the matches and bombs ready!

Lu Meng: Not that kind of blast, nickheads! hits Lu Xun and Zhu Ran

Lu Xun and Zhu Ran: Yeow!

Sun Jian: Uhhh…okay people, the reason why we've been called here is because of the newly released mobile game, Shin Sangoku Musou Blast, where our not-yet-playable ally generics are FINALLY getting unique makeover, and here we are to see them.

All: Oh…..

Zhou Yu: But unfortunately, we have wait for 2 hours.

All: WHAT?!

Zhu Ran: We're gonna get so bored! Oh well, let's burn this place instead!

Lu Xun: Let's go!

All: HEYYY! tries to restraint Zhu Ran and Lu Xun

Sun Shangxiang: Sighs…they're ALWAYS on it, aren't they?

Sun Quan: Blame it on Yiling, I'd say.

Wei side

Cao Cao: Haha! Now we're here!...hm? Where's everyone? Why's this place empty?

Xiahou Dun: Well, we have to wait for them to come, cousin.

Cao Cao: Whaaaattt?! We have to wait?! Why didn't you tell me earlier?

Xiahou Dun: You didn't ask.

Cao Cao: Oh, you're a real asshole, you know that?

Cao Pi: So, why did we come here, father?

Cao Cao: Hm? Oh, here, we're here because our long-time generic officers will be given unique makeover, and we're supposed to welcome them here.

Xiahou Dun: Unfortunately, we have to wait for around 2 hours.

Cao Cao: WHAT?!

Xiahou Yuan: Whoa! Cousin, you nearly gave me a heart attack….

Cao Cao: You NEVER told me to wait, let alone TWO HOURS! What are we going to do here, Dun?! WE'RE GONNA DIE. DIE FROM BOREDOM.

Xiahou Dun: Uhh, um…..whisper whisper.

Cao Cao: Emm…..oh? Alrighty! I'm sorry I was angry at you earlier.

Xiahou Dun: No problemo.

Xun Yu: Hm? Lord Cao Cao sure changed immediately…don't you guys think that what Xiahou Dun said is kinda suspicious?

Jia Xu: Meh, I bet my two asses that Xiahou Dun just said to Lord Cao Cao that he'll meet pretty girls whom he could make some more babies with. I honestly won't be surprised. At all.

Guo Jia: Ooh, we're gonna meet pretty ladies? Sweet!

Jia Xu: facepalms Sigh…turns out you're no different either. Didn't I already tell you to not flirt with too many women lest your disease will grow worse because of you overflowing hormones?

Guo Jia: Hehe, come one Jia Xu, have some fun! You can have some of these ladies if you want to.

Jia Xu: I'm a married man, thank you very much. Speaking of which…..aren't you also? [1]

Guo Jia: Uhh….yeah?

Jia Xu: Dear lord.

Jin side

Sima Yi: At last! We will soon meet many of our long-time generic allies, who've been turned into unique NPCs. With this many help, we will soon rule the entire land! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Zhang Chunhua: My lord, you're getting overblown again.

Sima Yi: Eh? Uhm… clears throat S-so what? It's a grand day, after all!

Zhang Chunhua: Well, remember what the doctor said about evil?

Sima Yi: That laughing evilly three times a day would be bad for my heart condition…..

Zhang Chunhua: See? You've hit the limit today. First is when you just beat Kongming at Overwatch, second when you stole Shi's baozi…

Sima Yi: Alright alright, I get it! (Hope Shi didn't hear that last one….) [2]

Sima Zhao: So dad, what're we gonna do here?

Sima Yi: Oh! Right, I forgot to tell you: so here, we're going to meet our generic allies, who's not generic as of now, because they've been given MASSIVE makeover by Koei!

Xiahou Ba: Ooh, sweet! I can't wait! Hope my brothers can get in…..

Zhong Hui: Hmph, what's the point? They'll all be turned into bishounen anyway, even though everyone knows that I am the prettiest bishounen there is.

Deng Ai: Keep telling yourself that. [3]

Other side

Lu Bu: Hmph! For what purpose we've been summoned here?! How dare they disturb my nap time!

Diaochan: Um, my lord, calm down. Besides it's 2 o'clock already…..

Lu Bu: Well they better have a good reason for it!

Zhang Jiao: Silence, people! I have this message from the Heavens, that we have to wait here until they will send more Yellow Turbans in-

Chen Gong: Wait wait wait….hold on for a sec. One, the message is NOT from the Heavens, and two, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!

Dong Zhuo: Yeah, there's no way Koei calls us for that!

Yuan Shao: Tch, lemme see that letter! snatches the letter away from Zhang Jiao Stupid zealot commoner…..oh?

Lu Bu: What does it say?

Yuan Shao: Hm….it says that we will see our once-generic allies having unique designs, although they're not playable yet…..and what?! 2 hours?!

Lu Bu: Ah, right! I did her some rumors that we'll be seeing the unique designs of our generic allies….what, 2 hours?

Yuan Shao: Yeah….the director said that we have to wait for 2 hours before our not-generic-anymore allies came.

All: WHAAAATTT?!

And that's where our heroes proceed to wait for 2 boring, dreadful, and sometimes chaotic hours to wait for their finally unique allies and loved ones…..stay tuned for the next chapter!

[1] Jia Xu is married, as seen by the existence of his sons Jia Mu and Jia Fang, as well as his grandchildren and great-grandchildren who would later serve Jin. For that matter, Guo Jia is also, because he had a son named Guo Yi. Kinda makes me wonder why they didn't include a scene where Guo Jia's wife beats him up because he always searches for more vaginas.

[2] This conversation is based on one comment on the video "Dynasty Warriors 8 Jin Cutscenes" on Youtube. Shout out to whoever posted it.

[3] This conversation is based on Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged.