When Nick made a decision about something he stuck to it, he was stubborn like that. When he decided he wanted to move to L.A he moved to L.A, when he decided he wanted to quit law school, he quit law school, when he decided he wanted to drink a beer at 10am, he drank a beer at 10am. But now something had shifted, he had made the choice to move in with Caroline but he was lacking the conviction which usually accompanied his stubborness. Something was affecting his nerve and making him doubt himself. The thing is there was only one thing that was notably different in his life since he had last lived with Caroline, one variable. Jess.
As much as he fought it and fought her, the truth was she got into his head like nobody else had ever done before, she made him think, evaluate, consider the future, consider himself and what he wanted and more importantly what he was worth. But it didn't always mean she was right! That's what he was telling himself as he watched the car pull away leaving him alone on the curb side outside his new apartment. The way she had looked at him bothered him, she looked sad but she looked more disappointed. He hadn't disappointed her, to disappoint her he would have to be doing something foolish, something wrong and this wasn't wrong. It wasn't.
Jess knew he was still standing there at the side of the road but she couldn't bring herself to look back. She wanted him to be happy, she did, but no matter what she had told him the night before, deep down she knew he wasn't going to be happy and the thought made her stomach drop. He deserved so much more why couldn't he see that? The car was filled with the silence of four people who had been forced to resign to a situation that not one among them was happy about. This was a change that none of them had asked for and none of them wanted.
As Nick finally lost the car out of view he turned and looked up at his building squinting in the L.A sun. This was it, a new start for him, he was going to become a grown up and do everything a guy his age should be doing. He was going to be happy. Nick repeated that thought like a mantra in his head as he turned one last time to look for the car full of warmth and familiarity that was no longer there. This time Jess was wrong.
Trying to block out the snippets of conversations he'd had with his friends about the mistakes he was making and the slight jelly feeling settling into his legs, Nick took a deep breath and entered the apartment where he was met by Caroline who had started to unpack all her stuff into the kitchen smiled at him warmly and he felt himself starting to relax.
He was honest with Caroline, he told her he had gotten cold feet and had freaked out a little bit, but he had talked her round and she found his honesty endearing. She had reassured him and stroked his cheek and he had smiled and kissed her and they had made love, starting as they meant to go on.
Later that night Caroline lay asleep on his chest following the christening of their new apartment on a mattress in the middle of the living room floor. She had drifted off instantly while he lay awake stroking her arm and staring at an unfamiliar ceiling. On paper this was the picture of perfection, it was what he had wanted ever since they had broken up and now all the pieces should be fitting back together - but there was one piece missing, one piece that Nick couldn't get his mind off of. Every time he closed his eyes he kept replaying their conversation in the desert, remembering what she had said and the way she had looked at him, so he kept his eyes open. He focused on reality, his reality as it now was, here with Caroline. He hadn't let any of his other friends get into his head so why should Jess be any different?
Jess lay awake trying hard to ignore the lump in her throat that she hadn't been able to get rid of since their awkward goodbye at his apartment. She wanted to be mad at him but she had left that to Schmidt, the truth was all she felt was complete sadness, she missed her friend.
Her friendship with Nick had always been different to the other guys, to any guy in fact. She had always been able to wander across to his room when she couldn't sleep and they would just sit together and watch old movies on his laptop. Yeah she would miss that.
She felt like she wanted to cry but why? She would still see him, they would still be friends, wouldn't they? She knew what it could be like when people got into serious relationships, especially when they lived together and she had only known Nick for a little over a year. With the saddening though that their friendship could wane under the pressure of his relationship with Caroline, Jess allowed her tears to fall.
Eventually both Nick and Jess closed their eyes in acceptance of the same thought. Everything was going to change.