CHAPTER 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia

So, guys, back by popular demand - this very crack story is a reader request! Enjoy!

Ana Braginsky-Beilschmidt, a young and talented girl from Serbia, is the little sister of Russia, Germany, and Prussia , as well as Belarus and Ukraine. But since she has very little in common with her older brothers and sisters and doesn't quite fit into the 'pack', she decides to go and study the dark arts with the Magic Club, while attempting to pursue her two secret crushes… This is her story

"Ana, I really don't think this is a good idea…" Ludwig sighed, shaking his head. He could not help being concerned about his little sister, even if sometimes, well actually most times, he was way too overprotective of her.

"But Ivan said da, and so did Natalia and Yekaterina!" she pleaded. "And Gilbert agreed too. So if they truly understand me, why can't you? You know how much out-of-place I feel here! Look brother, I know that this is my home, and you're all my family, it's just that, well, I'm so… not like you guys. I mean you're all werewolves, while… I'm a vampire and… and I also have magic! It would be so unfair to let those talents go to waste while I'm left to brood here, unhappy! Please Ludwig… "

The German pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look, what you're asking of me… You know that our Romanian cousin Dragos-"

"Yes, because he's a vampire and has magic, he's so much like me!"

"But that's what I'm so worried about! How am I supposed to allow you to go and move in with him? I don't trust him at all, Elizabeta says he's never up to any good and I couldn't agree more, not to mention he does all sorts of stupidities and has the foulest mouth ever!" the tall blonde said exasperated. "And who does he hang with most of the time? The Italian brothers, who are both no comment, and the Magic club which is the living definition of disastrous! I'm afraid that something might happen to you or that they'll all have a bad influence on you!"

Ana simply crossed her arms with a stern expression. "You are overreacting and you know it! And besides, I am old enough to take care of myself!"

"Like hell you're old enough, you're just 17!" her brother scolded.

"And smart enough!" she added stubbornly.

"Oh, well, fine then, I think…" Ludwig conceded, walking over to his desk and grabbing a sheet of paper on which he began to scribble hurriedly.

"What are you doing?"

He shook his head. "I don't know how much this will help, but I'm writing a letter to Dragos, to instruct him on how to take care of you. He'd better stick to it, or else!"

Great, good to know that my brother thinks I need an instructions manual. What the hell am I, some damned household device? Gah! The sooner I'm out of here, the better! Mentally muttering that to herself, Ana snatched the folded letter from her brother's hand and darted out the door before she would receive any further lecture.

The young Serbian could not have been more excited about finally meeting the Magic Club, although she was a bit worried as to whether they would accept her or not. She was secretly relieved that Arthur had been released from that awful prison after learning his lesson and solemnly swearing he would no longer pursue any evil purposes, aside from cooking his terrible scones…

Her heart pounded wildly in her chest as she shyly knocked at the door of the dark dungeon which was their workplace, all the more since she had recently read a fanfiction where a curiosity driven girl had barged in on one of the Magic Club's meetings and they had…um… No, no, don't think of that now, don't think of that now! she mentally scolded herself, aware and alarmed by the blush that was currently creeping on her cheeks.

"Yes, come in?" a gentlemanly voice called from inside and this time her poor heart very nearly jumped out of her chest.

With a nervous hand, she cracked the door open and stepped in. There were only a few candles lighting the large, round room, and her eyes fell on the two cloaked figures which occupied their respective desks and appeared to be studying some old dusty tomes. They both looked up at her in the same time, pulling off their hoods. A bright pair of green eyes caught her attention immediately, as the Englishman rose from his seat to greet her, while a dull midnight blue gaze met hers with obvious indifference.

"Hello, my name is Ana Braginsky-B-Beilschmidt…" she stuttered a little, and she slapped herself inwardly. "I am Romania's cousin and I-"

She was interrupted when said Romanian cousin burst through the door and walked towards Norway's desk, solemnly handing him a piece of paper.

"Well, here it is!" he said. "I used Google translation so I don't know how correct it is but-"

"Yes but you see, I want you to say it out loud…" Lukas informed him bluntly.

The vampire jumped. "WHAT? No freaking way I can read this!"

"Why? No one will understand but me"

"Hardly the point, honey bun! I can't read those words!" He rolled his eyes. "Whatever, but I'll need preparation first!" Saying that, he ran outside, slamming the door behind him.

Meanwhile, the Englishman had taken his time to observe the newcomer. Braginsky-Beilschmidt… she was clearly related to both Russia and the German brothers, a thing also indicated by her bright, deep purple eyes and long, wavy blonde hair.

"Lovely to meet you, Miss Braginsky" he replied. "I am Arthur Kirkland and this is my colleague Lukas Bondevik" The Norwegian nodded in acknowledgement, but said nothing. "How can we help you?"

"Well I… am both a witch and a vampire, but since I'd never had any preparation in these matters, I was hoping that I could study magic with you guys… if that's alright?" she asked tentatively.

Right then her cousin barged in again, an air of determination upon him. "Okay, okay, here it goes: Min.. how the hell do you read this barred 'o'? Gah! It's impossible! "

"Um… cousin Dragos?" Ana asked shyly.

"Not now!" the Romanian cut her short with a wave of his hand, and ran outside again.

She frowned in complete confusion. "So… what is this about, anyway?"

"Well, your cousin lost a stupid bet against Lukas so now he must tell him his darkest secret. In Norwegian," Arthur snorted. "Anyway, of course! We'd be delighted to have you!"

Delighted to have you…That damned fanfiction popped into her mind again and Ana knew that at this point she must have been blushing like mad, all the more since she'd had a… um… pretty serious crush on the green eyed Englishman for quite a while. But her embarrassing musings were cut short when Dragos returned.

"Okay, okay…" He took a deep breath. "Min mør... mørkeste hem- FUCK!" He scratched his head, pushing his little top hat back. Lukas only gave him a brief emotionless glance before returning to his book. „Min mørkeste hemmeli-hemmelighe..ghet WHAT THE FUCK!" He ran off again.

"So... will you be staying with Dragos then?" Arthur made conversation.

"Um… yes, that's what I have in mind-" Then the door swung open again and she took her chance. "Cousin Dragos, I'm joining the Magic Club and I'm moving in with you!" the young Serbian announced, before he could say anything.

"Like hell you are! Listen to this: Min mør- mørkeste hemmeli-ghet… er at jeg øn- ønsker… å drikke blodet ditt! Ha, I said it!" the vampire declared with a broad grin. This time it was Lukas who jumped from his seat and darted out the door at top speed, slamming it in his wake.

"What in bloody hell did you say to him?" Arthur questioned.

"Nothing undeserved, I assure you," the Romanian replied, still grinning. "So what were you saying, little cousin?" he added, eventually turning to face the Serbian.

"I'm not little, Dragos!" she scowled, crossing her arms. "And I said that I'm joining the Magic Club and I'm moving in with you!"

The strawberry blonde gave her a suspicious once over, while chewing his lower lip. "Oh really? Who said that?"

"Well, Arthur here said I could join the Magic club and Nikola said it was okay to move in with you. I dropped by your place in the morning and he was there… He said to take my bags in the large guestroom on the first floor"

The vampire threw Arthur an irritated glance and rolled his eyes. "Tch! Oh and from the series 'whom you won't let die won't let you live' now Bubu gets to decide who moves in with me! Fan-fucking-tastic!"

"Yeah, so…"

"Come on, we need to sort this out in private!" He grabbed her wrist and pulled her out of the room. Then, once they were outside on the corridor, he muttered a quick spell and snapped his fingers. Instantly, they both disappeared in a white poof of smoke and a second later found themselves at the front door of Romania's old Transylvanian castle.

"So," he began ushering her inside, into the large hallway. "Do Ludwig and your other brothers know what you're up to?"

"O-of course, I would not have dared to leave without their permission," Ana explained as they walked into a large living room and the vampire plopped down in a couch, rubbing his forehead.

"I really hope so… otherwise something very bad is going to happen, something involving Herr Shtick and a water pipe… And I don't even want to imagine what that idiot who wears a chicken on his head would do!"

"Who, Gilbert? And Gilbird is not a chicken, he's a canary!" Ana exclaimed somewhat crossed. "Anyway, I just had to do this. You know I don't fit in with them, especially now that I'm not a little girl anymore… so I need to learn to be, well, my very best, you know? And not only the magic lessons, I need you to teach me how to be a good vampire!"

Dragos pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Dear Ana, if you hadn't read Twilight and other crap, you would have known that 'good' plus 'vampire' equals 'contradiction in terms'. Yes…, you clearly have a lot to learn"

"Here, Ludwig wrote this for you," she remembered, rummaging through her bag and handing her cousin the German's letter.

The vampire took it with two fingers and unfolded it carefully, examining its contents with a grimace. "Huh! This looks like a 'to do' list… Oh wait, it's a 'don't do' list, for you…"

"It's a what?"

"Listen to this: you're not allowed to stay up later than eleven o'clock in the evening, not allowed to wander around all by yourself, no skipping your daily check in calls, no skipping on your homework, no drinking tzuica (A/N - a strong Romanian drink)- I wasn't going to give you any, what the hell was he thinking -, no overindulging in carbohydrates and – oh, this is a good one – no boyfriends. Did you hear that, cousin?"

"WHAAAAAT?" she jumped. "I'm 17! He cannot tell me what to do anymore, and neither do you!"

"How would you like to bet on that, huh?" her cousin muttered, placing the letter in his pocket. "Now it's quite late, off you go to your coffin"

"But… I don't have a coffin… I mean, ewww! I would never sleep in a coffin!"

Letting out another sigh, the Romanian stood from the couch and scooped her up in his arms, bridal style. "No, of course you wouldn't! What on Earth was I thinking?"

Whoa, what's going on? "W-what are you doing, cousin?" Ana asked, slightly worried, as the vampire carried her out of the room.

"And now, witness the impossible," he said. She noticed that somehow they had made it into the guestroom and he was currently laying her inside a coffin.

"NO!" she shrieked, struggling, "You can't lock me up in this! I-I'm afraid!"

Dragos dug in his pocket and pulled out a small plushie, shoving it into her arms. "What the hell is this?"

"A pink stuffed rabbit, isn't it obvious? To keep you company. I stole it from Lukas yesterday"

"But… that wasn't very nice," Ana observed.

"Tch! First lesson dear cousin – vampires are not nice! Goodnight!" Saying that he slammed the lid shut.

Good? Bad? Let me know!

Dictionary: (God I hope Google Translation did not screw this up too bad…)

Min mørkeste hemmelighet er at jeg ønsker å drikke blodet ditt (Norwegian) – My darkest secret is that I want to drink your blood

A/N: In case you were wondering which fanfiction Ana kept thinking of, it's this one:

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