A/N: This is a one-shot at angst, which, I would proudly like to say, I am not that great at! I'm sorry if this idea was already taken, but you can just blame my lazy fingers for not wanting to search every damn angst fic in the Teen Titans category. Anyway, please try to enjoy!
Everyday it's just the same old thing. I wake up, have my tea, and then just go along with the day. Or that's what everyone else sees.
I just try to do what they think seems logical.
Ever since I found out about my powers, my emotions had always been a burden. I was never to laugh, or cry, or feel any kind of anger.
And all of these emotions remain stored inside of me, looking for some way to get out. I'm sure it's not healthy, to not care about anything, or forcing your mind to block out your happiness and pain.
A long time ago I never really did need to think about controlling my emotions. There was no reason to ever have any. But then I joined the Titans, where I was surrounded by four people who could were able to feel everything.
And it's painful, to be able to see them do the things I'll never be able to do.
And they'll never understand either, except for Starfire. Ever since our bodies were switched, she knew about how my emotions had to be pinned up inside of me. I'm sure she was grateful to have her body back.
And now, controlling emotions is ever harder. All because of that one boy . . .
Beast Boy . . . He'll never know how happy I feel when he tells jokes, and how much I want to laugh. But I can't, and he just thinks I'm a stubborn girl who doesn't care about anything.
I know he cares for me, and I . . . care for him too . . .
But it's never going to happen. The one thing that I want to be able to express among all others . . .
The warm feeling that he brings to my cold heart with his bright attitude. Or the lovely feeling that he brings when he tells his little jokes.
The feeling of . . . love?
It's just another burden; a burden that can't be shown inside of me because of my stupid powers. Of course, I always have to come up with some excuse as to why I'm not laughing at his jokes. I have to say their stupid; that he's stupid.
And it always gives a false impression. I can't just tell him that my powers are controlled by emotions. It'll just bring out more of them, more to where I can't even take control.
Oh . . . I wish he knew! Cheerful little Starfire probably doesn't want to have to tell him for me, because she'll be afraid; another thing I can't feel.
Someday, though, I'll learn to get over it all. Beast Boy will just be a thing in the past, and my love over him will die along with every other feeling inside me.
Just another day in the life . . .