Author's note: Lime warning for this chapter, folks.
Konoha Club Kids
A Naruto fan-fic
Shikamaru
I woke up to Ino sitting on my stomach. Well, to be honest, I started waking up to the zip of a shade flying up into itself and the harsh sunlight turning the peaceful darkness under my eyelids a deep red. "Shikamaruuu! Wake up!" she chirped in the irritatingly musical way of the Morning Person. The clink of dishes, sizzling noise and smell of bacon (which would take days to air out of my tiny, one-bedroom apartment) told me Chouji was up to the usual in the kitchen. "Chouji!" Ino scolded, "stop stuffing your face!"
"I'ng making breakfash!" Chouji retorted, muffled through whatever he was stuffing his face with.
I groaned. Why had I given these two copies of my key? Oh yeah, the demon woman who spawned me had forced me to "in case you lock yourself out." Right, more like so she could check up on me without breaking in herself, to see that I have food, that I cleaned the place and did my laundry, and to make sure no one else was "sleeping over."
Not that she had to worry about that last one, unfortunately.
But what happened was my two best friends now had free entry to what was supposed to finally be my own private, personal living space after twenty long years in my parents' house. It meant coming home from work to an apartment reeking of oh-so-manly Sensual Strawberry body spray because Ino thought the place smelled musty. It meant that food kept mysteriously disappearing from the fridge faster than I could possibly be eating it.
It also meant that shit like this happened at least once a week. I didn't mind Chouji cooking me breakfast, because damn could the man make breakfast, but Ino bouncing around like a chirpy little bird was a bit to take.
"Happy Saturday!" she squealed. "Guess what weekend it is!"
I finally opened my eyes a squint. "That most troublesome of weekends?" I guessed.
Ino grinned. "Happy Birthday, Shika-kun!" she shouted.
Oh yeah, our birthday weekend. My birthday is September 22nd, Ino's September 23rd. Our mothers were in labor practically side by side, though while Ino's mom coos that we're spiritual twins, my mom can only complain about how much tougher her labor was. "Troublesome child," she'd say, glaring at me as though I did it on purpose.
Yeah, my mother says "troublesome" too. Where did you think I got it from?
"Ino, I'm gonna barf if you don't stop jumping up and down on my stomach," I warned. She hopped off.
"Quick, go take a shower and we can eat breakfast!" she urged, tugging on my arm. I played dead, complete with lolling tongue and open, blank eyes. "I can't wait to tell you the plan for the day."
"Ino, you should know by now that the best gift you could ever give me would be to let me sleep in on my birthday!" I grumbled.
"Don't be silly," Ino scoffed, and yanked the covers off of me. Immediately she yelped and clamped her hands over her eyes. "Shikamaru!" she cried. "When did you start sleeping naked?"
I shrugged. "I got hot last night," I said. Either she hadn't seen the boxers hanging on the lamp or she thought it was just dirty laundry.
"You could've said!"
"I didn't know you were going to start stripping the bed," I retorted, and got up, stretching lazily, taking my time.
"Are you--?" Ino peeked. "Ugh! Go, go!" she urged, covering her eyes with one hand and waving frantically with the other. I yawned and scratched my ass as I went out into the hall. "You're disgusting!" she yelled after me.
"Hey!" I yelled back, "a man should be able to walk buck-naked around his own apartment without worrying about his friends busting in on him."
Chouji poked his head around the corner. "What are you yelling about—oh!" He recoiled and put up the spatula as though shielding himself. "Put the monster away, man."
I looked down and realized what had probably freaked Ino out so much. Morning wood. Ugh. I shuffled off to the bathroom, gesturing obscenely and grumbling about my pain-in-the-ass friends.
Normally I'd relax in the shower a bit after washing up, lay in the tub while the air fills up with steam, maybe entertain some thoughts of her for a while, until the water ran cold. My mother used to shut the hot water off on me, but now that I was paying the bills, it was a luxury I could enjoy without interference. Except for today, of course, my birthday, when I should be doing what I want.
For my friends' sake, and to avoid a troublesome ass-kicking, I made it short. Returning to my happily Ino-free bedroom with a towel around my waist, I found a package on the bed. It was wrapped in shiny blue paper, and it flopped when I picked it up. I tore the paper off to find a black, button-down shirt made of silk. Definitely too swank for my tastes. Ino had, strangely enough, wrapped the card inside the package. Wear this today! It read.
"The things I do…" I sighed, but pulled the shirt on anyway. It was less of a pain in the ass than arguing about it, and it did feel nice and cool against my skin. It was weirdly warm lately; September had started out as though the weather had decided, "Yup, autumn" and wanted to demonstrate what it could do. Rain, cold, wind, the whole bit. Then this past week it was as if it was exhausted and needed a rest, and we slid back into summer. I suppose I should have been happy; it was bright and beautiful out, the sky filled with puffy clouds. But I had a feeling that Ino wouldn't be leaving me enough unscheduled time to watch them, unless she was truly feeling giving.
"The pancakes are getting cold!" Ino called from the kitchen. "And eaten!"
"I can make more!" Chouji protested as I came in and sat down. "Happy Birthday!" he greeted me and flapped a stack of pancakes onto my plate while Ino poured me tea.
"Thanks," I said. The pancakes were awesome, as usual. Even lukewarm they were heavenly. "It tastes incredible," I said, and Chouji beamed.
"Here, have some bacon," he said, sliding some over. "My present to you is to make dinner for you at your parents' house. And I baked you a cake."
"You are amazing, man," I said. Now that I had food in me I felt up to forgiving them for invading my place. That I had to see my parents at some time today was inevitable; hopefully my mother would be in a good mood.
Ino smiled. "I knew that shirt would look good on you," she said.
I looked down; I forgot I was even wearing it. "Yeah, thanks. It's uh… fancy."
"Well, why not dress up? It's your birthday, after all."
I raised an eyebrow at her. "My mom will be happy to see me in something besides my uniform," I said carefully, trying to analyze her somewhat sly expression. She was plotting something, I knew it. "After all, it's not like we're going out anywh—" Ino slid a lime-green piece of paper across the table at me.
What fresh hell was this? "Klub Konoha?" I read aloud. How "klever."
Ino leaned over the table to peer at the paper upside-down. I averted my eyes from her cleavage. I know what everyone thinks about me and Ino, but we tried dating. It lasted an afternoon. When we finally worked up the nerve to kiss, it was like locking lips with a sibling. Considering neither of us have siblings, we took that as a sign that it definitely wasn't meant to be.
Ino read: "Join us for our first night as the newest, hottest, and only nightclub in the Hidden Leaf. Cool drinks, hot music! September 22nd, doors open at 8pm. 18+. No admission without ID." She smiled and nodded expectantly.
Somewhere, a cricket chirped. "Damn, I thought I got rid of that thing," I said.
"They're good luck," Chouji reminded me, "leave it be."
"Ahem," Ino said, settling back down in her chair. "To get back to the point… you remember when they were renovating that big building that used to have all those businesses in it? The thrift store and maybe a lawyer and the Laundromat and the nail place that kept changing names at least once a week?"
I vaguely remembered something. "Oh yeah, we walked past it on our way back to town after our assassination mission last month," I recalled. That was a long mission. It involved Ino posing as a courtesan and doing a lot of mind-replacement to frame various high-profile officials, and a lot of reverse-medical jutsu to fake some "natural" deaths. "I was wondering what was with the neon light shaped like the leaf symbol."
"Well, that's where this nightclub is."
"Why do we need a nightclub anyway?" Chouji spoke up. "We're not a tourist town."
"We are when the chuunin exams come around," Ino pointed out.
"So twice a year, assuming the exams don't move to another village. I give it three weeks," I said.
"What a downer you are," Ino muttered and sipped her tea.
"Seriously, though, 'Klub Konoha'? Way to be creative."
"Well, what would you have called it?" Ino challenged.
I pushed the paper back to her and forked up some more pancake. "Leaf After Dark," I said without thinking.
"Fire and Shadow," Chouji offered, pouring more tea.
"The Flaming Leaf."
"That sounds like a gay bar," Ino sniffed.
"Or a reminder of Orochimaru's threats," Chouji said.
"Oh, good point."
"Jiraya's. Or The Ero Sennin," Chouji suggested.
"Hah, sounds like something Naruto would suggest," I laughed. "But it sounds too much like a tavern. It has to be one word, like 'Liquid'."
"Oh, oh, or—" he laughed, almost choking, "here's one Naruto would like: Dattebayo!"
"Shut up!" Ino yelled, jamming her fork down, tines first, so hard into my table that it sank in enough to stick. Man, now she's ruining my furniture too? "We're going tonight, and if I hear the word 'troublesome' escape your lips," she threatened, holding her butter knife like a kunai."
"No way, Ino," I protested. "I'm not going to some fruity nightclub to flail around like an idiot on my birthday."
"Everyone is going to be there. Even the hokage. Even Temari-san." I froze, and Ino smiled in triumph. "Ah, I knew that would get you."
Temari… that most troublesome of women, whose absence lately was more troublesome to me than her presence had ever been. The last time I saw her was when she came to Konoha to sit on the committee to decide what questions should be on the written test for the next chuunin exam. After eight to ten hours a day of sitting in a meeting room arguing, she would emerge cramped up, weary, and in the foulest of moods. It was my job to unwind her.
I soon found out what unwound her best, besides a good, exhausting sparring match. Everyone thinks the Flower of Suna is an ice queen, but I'm the lucky guy who got to find out that she's as hot and merciless as the sun over the Sand.
We'd kissed before, when we finally admitted we didn't hate each other as much as we professed, not by half. Quite the opposite, actually. It never got much past the one feverish make-out session. This time, though, with a few months between to think and yearn and be apart, things got, well, steamier.
For those few weeks we were sneaking off every chance we got. One time Temari pulled me into a closet in the hokage offices and we made out for the entirety of her fifteen minute coffee break. After a particularly grueling sparring match, she gave me a back massage that turned into a full-body massage with, um, "full release," as they call it. I was amazed. For the longest time Temari seemed she'd rather kill me than look at me, and now she couldn't keep her hands off of me. Nor could I keep mine off of her.
The night before she was supposed to leave, we ate dinner at my parents' house. My dad sent us out to feed the deer. I had my mother believing that feeding the deer took half an hour, when it was more like ten minutes. As soon as we were done doling out the deer chow, it started to rain. It was the perfect opportunity; my parents wouldn't come out in the rain and would assume we were waiting for it to let up to avoid getting soaked.
Temari was standing near one of the windows, watching the rain fall with the fascination of someone who never sees such quantities of water falling out of the sky. She was cold; she was shivering, her exposed skin bumping up, her nipples hard under her thin kimono. Temari never dressed for the weather, partly because it changed so rapidly around here, partly because she never could remember what season it was supposed to be and no one thought to warn her. Even if she had been told it was spring, she probably rifled through her mental files and came up with a picture of sunny days and blooming trees. I should have told her that the first part of spring was like a mushy, gloomy winter.
I went up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. "Cold?" I asked. She nodded and leaned back against my chest, nuzzling her cheek against mine. A crawling shiver went through me then, but not from cold.
"Mmm, you're nice and warm though," she murmured, brushing her lips against my cheek. Something about the way she hummed that "mmm" grew that shiver into a steady buzzing. I slid my hands up higher, feeling the soft cotton of her kimono, and flicked my thumb against a nipple. She jumped, but made a little satisfied noise in her throat that encouraged me to continue. I slid my hand into her kimono and cupped her breast. "Your hands are cold!" she exclaimed.
"Warmer than you," I replied, working a nipple between my fingers. She turned to kiss me, hungrily. I eased my hand down past her obi until my fingertips encountered wiry curls.
"You're poking me," she said, all matter-of-fact though I could hear her trying to slow her breathing, with little success. She arched back against me and I grunted.
"Sorry, can't help it. It wants to take you for a tumble in the hay." I reached down further, where it was damper. My other arm curled around to continue to tease her nipples. Every little stifled cry was my prize.
"And go back in with my kimono damp in the back and straw in my hair? What would your mother say?" she panted, reaching between us to give me a squeeze. Pleasure throbbed through me and I had to cut off a moan.
I was leaning back against a wall then, since my legs were threatening to collapse and the merest bump from the quietly milling deer would probably send us both down into the hay, at which point there was no stopping us. It would be too bothersome to get up and our desire too urgent to worry about what my mother would think.
I slid my fingers inside of her; she was hot and slippery. She wasn't smooth in there, like I imagined, but full of cushiony ridges and bumps like pillows. I explored these and listened to her moaning, imagining what it'd be like to plunge myself in there, what it would feel like. Definitely different than from a hand callused up from missions and training and gripping kunai and throwing shuriken.
Never would I have predicted, back when we were trying to kill each other during the chuunin exams, that I'd ever end up knuckle-deep in the kazekage's sister, learning to play her by ear like some strange new instrument. I don't think of her that way, though, not as the old kazekage's daughter or the kazekage's sister or the badass kunoichi from Suna. She's just Temari. My Temari, as far as she'd let any possessive stick to her.
She was biting her lip, trying to hold in her noises. I wanted to make her scream. My thumb found that little button my wise old man had advised me about and I rubbed it. "Sh-sh-shika-maru," she breathed through gritted teeth. I nibbled at her neck and couldn't help a throaty chuckle. "Damn you, why are you so good?" she whispered and ground back against me some more.
"I'd say practice," I said, "but considering I haven't been practicing on anyone… I'm a genius?"
She laughed a little. That was when my father's voice came booming across the field, "Wow, what a downpour, eh kids?"
My hands flew from Temari to wipe themselves off on my pants. Temari hurriedly adjusted her kimono. Good ol' dad, giving us time to compose ourselves. He's no fool. Neither is my mom but if had been her, she would have snuck in as quietly as she could to catch us in the act.
Temari began petting one of the deer in a forced-casual way, her cheeks burning redder than I had ever seen. Her hands were shaking. I shoved mine in my pockets, clandestinely adjusting myself and willing my erection to fade.
Dad took his sweet time strolling across the wet field. I didn't know when the rain had stopped; we had been too involved in each other to notice.
"Hey, if you're done feeding the deer, your mom has dessert ready," my dad said, not looking directly at either of us.
"Sounds great," I said, trying to keep my voice and legs steady. I walked to the door. "Coming, Temari?"
"Uh, yeah," she replied quickly. "Um, I should wash my hands. Petting the deer, you know."
"Me too," I said. My dad winked at me and clapped me on the back. I gave him a confused look to hide my nervousness.
The next day, I saw her and her brothers off at the gate as usual. We didn't kiss goodbye, only waved from a distance. Temari smiled and said, "See you later." We don't say "goodbye." It seems less final to say, "see you later," as if we might bump into each other by accident. We try not to think about all the things people seem to think we should, like how any time we part might be the last time we see each other. That sort of thing would be true even if we lived in the same village; after all, people go on missions and sometimes don't come back. It's the life we live.
Usually when Temari leaves, she doesn't look back. Farewells said, she looks ahead, no sadness, no tears. This time she looked back at me, just turning her head slightly so I could see her in profile.
And winked.
Damn that woman, I was dreaming about her for weeks after that.
"Why is Temari going to be there? It's kind of a long way to go for a night on the town," I asked Ino, sopping up the last of the syrup with my last bite of pancake. "Does she know it's our birthdays?" Temari had turned twenty-three last month. I had wanted to go to Suna to spend it with her, but that's when we got sent on that mission. All I managed to send her was a letter and a promise that I would make it up to her next time we met.
"I didn't tell her, if that's what you're asking," Ino claimed. "Gaara and them probably got invitations. I'm sure the nightclub promoters figure if they can get the famous Sand Siblings to attend their opening night, they'll draw a crowd for sure. They know they're frequent guests here," Ino said.
Not frequent enough for my tastes.
"Plus," Ino continued, "Tsunade-sama invited them here for the equinox festival, but they couldn't make it. I heard Gaara said he wanted to see the leaves turn because he's never seen such a thing."
"That doesn't really happen until next month," I said, though already there were a few early trees waxing red and orange amidst the greenery. "Are you sure?"
Ino smiled smugly. "You won't know unless you show up, right?"
I sighed as heavily as I was able. "Fine."
"Yay!" She clapped her hands. "Awesome! I have to go shopping for a new outfit!"
"I'd better give you this now, then," I said. I went over to my desk and took a card out of the drawer. "Um, turn around," I said.
"You haven't even signed it yet?" Chouji exclaimed.
"Shut up, I thought I had another day," I said. Ino obediently turned her back as I scribbled Happy 20th Birthday, Ino! –Shikamaru and slid a rectangle of plastic into the folded paperboard. I put it in the envelope, sealed it, held it out and cleared my throat.
"Oh!" Ino turned, snatched the card from me, and tore it open. "Shikamaru you didn't!" She squealed, clutching the gift card. "Fifty dollars to Kawaii? Thank you!" She launched herself at me and I caught her up in a hug; she was nearly strangling me. "I love that store!"
"I know that's like half a dress, but—"
"How can you afford this?"
"I saved up. You thought I forgot, didn't you?" I accused as she let go of me. I did forget it was this weekend, but I had gotten the gift card a few months ago when my mother reminded me, so I had it on hand.
Ino's face looked like it would split apart from grinning. "Just for this," she said, "I won't make you go shopping with me. Go watch clouds or whatever you want to do."
Yes! "Ino, I love you."
"I know," she chirped. "C'mon, Chouji."
Chouji sputtered. "But, but… I have to get supplies for dinner—"
"We can go grocery shopping afterward. I'll make sure you have plenty of time," Ino said, leaving no room for argument. "Quick, do the dishes and let's get going! I want to get there before all the good dresses are gone! Ooh, I should call Sakura and see if she's gone yet." She scrambled for my phone.
Chouji gave me the sad-puppy look of men everywhere who know they're fated to sit outside a dressing room and lie their ass off all day. "Sorry, man," I said, though I couldn't put much regret into it as I had just dodged that shuriken myself. Whistling, I left my friends in my apartment and made for my favorite lazing-around spot.