The setting sun was just touching the horizon when Ed sank heavily upon the swing. His fingers were limp as he grasped the chains and for a moment, he stared unseeing past an old wooden fence that lined the playground. His eyes came into focus as two children of perhaps nine or ten ran past the opening to the park pulling a wagon behind them filled with the useless treasures children their age seemed to adore. Another child trailed after them while their laughter bounced and echoed along the ally way. Ed's heart clenched as bittersweet memories came to him and tears filled his eyes. His smile echoed the emotion of his memories.
It felt so long ago when it had been he and his friends playing in the safe streets of this little cul-de-sac. Over the years new families had moved in once the housing construction had gained more traction and with the tire plant springing up seemingly overnight, more and more families were attracted to the serene area. They formed their own groups, leaving the Eds and their tribe alone.
He heard his name called in a distant memory and out of habit, his eyes trailed along the top of the fence in search of what was no more. Edd's voice first, then Eddy's, then his laughter following behind, but the familiar tops of heads didn't appear. He remembered the time they went to the creek that hot summer day. Double D had forgotten his sunscreen and they all came home as red as lobsters.
He remembered the scams that Eddy had so meticulously planned, and when those scams for some quick cash didn't plan out as they had liked and the ramifications came home to them, he realized how easy it had been for the kids to slip into their worlds of imaginations and battle it out to the end. Then, when they were finished playing, they'd yell at each other and then go home to supper, a bath and then to bed. All the bad things forgiven and forgotten. If only adults gave up grudges as well as most kids did. He remembered losing his last baby tooth; he remembered the time Edd gave them all chicken pox. He thought back fondly to the times they spent in that old van in the junkyard. He couldn't help but to smile a sad smile and sigh at the time that he and Eddy tried to talk Double D into piercing his ears so he could look older and get them some magazines. That one didn't pan out so well, not by the scolding Double D had given the both of them over such a silly idea.
He had tried to tell them not to go, not to get into the car. He felt impending doom and yet he couldn't articulate it in a way to make them stop and listen to him. Just listen! That something was wrong and he could feel it in his very core. Eddy scoffed at him, grinned, and said he'd see him later if Ed was too scared to go ride to the store for a few supplies. Mainly chips and soda since they were out. It was Friday night, movie night, and a real gory one had come in the mail for Ed the previous day.
Double D had placed his hand on Ed's chest while gazing up to him with a warm and gentle expression. He promised that he would make Eddy wear his seatbelt; if that's what Ed was concerned about, and that they would drive safe. Ed begged them not to go as he sank down in front of Edd, his arms wrapped around his slender body and his tears soaking the front of his shirt. Edd, perplexed, only exchanged a nervous exchange with Eddy via the passenger side window of the car before turning back to Ed and rubbing the back of his neck in a reassuring way.
"It'll be okay, Ed, we'll be back and commence movie night!"
"Don't go," Ed had moaned into Double D's stomach, but it was to no avail. Gingerly, his friend had pried himself out of Ed's protective grip and got into the car. The passenger side window was down.
Sitting on the swing, Ed's brows furrowed. The window was down and the last thing he ever told them was "I love you guys."
"Why… we love you, too, Ed," Double D said in surprise.
"Yeah yeah, we love you too, you big sap. You comin' or what?"
Ed slowly rose, his eyes raw and face distraught as he slowly shook his head no. He lifted his hand and waved slowly, the miserable expression on his face unable to compete with the hopeless feeling of loss in his heart as they waved in return while Eddy backed out of the driveway.
He felt them leave his heart. The accident was not their faults, but rather the poor decision of a man who decided to run from the police. He had shot out of a side street and clipped the back of Eddy's Charger, causing the muscle car to spin out of control. They had hit a light pole and spun back out into traffic where they were smashed head on by a large box truck.
"So tragic…" was all Sara had said as she sat in the kitchen with her head down and her face in her hands. Ed stood in the doorway, unmoving as he watched his parents speak to one another before turning in tandem to stare at him. They looked at him as if he would break and begin to either commence destroying the house, or fall to his knees and blubber like a child. They weren't prepared for either outcome, but the one they received was far worse. He simply stood there, gazing at them as his great heart silently shattered into a thousand pieces, each one stabbing his soul in the process.
They were gone. The only people who truly loved him on this earth stolen away from him in such a cruel manner and the worst part was; he tried to stop it. He tried to tell them but they were so assured of themselves that they would be safe. After all, they had just graduated high school and Eddy had been driving for two years.
If he could just tell them, one last time, how much he loved them.
The wind let out a gentle sigh and the swing closest to him eased forward and then fell back with a serene creak of the chains. The shadows were growing longer now and Ed slowly drug the toes of his high tops along the dirt at his feet. His head remained down and his brow drawn up with unspent emotion. While he stared at the ground, two more shadows grew along beside of his and unseen hands slowly gripped his shoulders that hitched once, twice and then began to shake violently as he hid his face in his hands, where he finally allowed himself to weep.
"I tried to tell you guys!" he cried out. "I tried!"
The gentle unseen grips on his shoulders grew firmer and with that, so did his sorrow. He wept for what felt like hours until his sobs were merely hitches in his chest. Slowly, he lifted his tear streaked face to the sky as the last vestiges of the sunset stretched along the horizon. Already the brightly colored clouds were turning from explosive hues to the color of bruises. He swallowed once and it clicked in his throat. Now was the time, he supposed.
"I love you guys," he said, his voice hoarse with his crying and his loss. "Always and forever." He let out a final wet sniffle and then drug the arm of his coat beneath his leaky nose. "For honest and for true," Ed whispered. They were waiting for him.
He rose out of the swing, ignoring the way it slapped into the backs of his thighs as if trying to get his attention. No, that was focused on the creek the town was named after. Rains over the past few nights had left it swollen and the waters ran with enthusiasm to wherever they wound up. They never ventured very far to find out where, but Double D would probably know.
The double funeral was a quiet, somber affair that drew quite the outcome. It hadn't rained then, but storms had been forecast afterwards. Ed had gone, standing before the two caskets as they waited to be lowered into the ground after the crowd had left. His hand tenderly touching either one as he stared ahead, without seeing, towards the other gravestones of loved ones long departed. No one came to gather him. Either they didn't care, or they had forgotten him and that hurt him deeply.
The only people who loved him, who ever held him dearly within their own hearts, were ready to go into the cold ground. The impatient man who sat on his backhoe finally came down and got him to leave, and he did so, backing away so he could gaze at his friends for the last time, and when he descended the little hill, and they were finally out of sight he turned and walked home with his head down.
They were waiting for him.
The rains had broken during the night and while he lie on his bed as errant flashes of lightning lit up his room, he made his decision.
He whistled softly a little song they had made up when they were seven, their own little theme song that never touched the ears of another. It broke up a few times as he made his way to the creek, and the heavy sounds of rushing waters drowned it out as he drew nearer. He lifted his eyes to the dark sky and then nodded once. "Wait for me, guys!" he called before kicking off his shoes and wading into the rushing waters.