The Videogamer's New Life
Book 2
Chapter 1, "Hylia"
I woke up to a pair of large hands shaking me by my shoulders.
"Knock it off, you're going to rattle her brains loose," A deep, yet strangely familiar voice spoke.
"Well you tried once and weren't able to wake her, has she always been this heavy a sleeper?" Another deeper, familiar voice replied
"She didn't wake up when I tripped on her," echoed the other deep voice in reply.
"Maybe we need someone heavier," the second chuckled.
I recognized that chuckle and that idea of being tripped over, but those weren't my companions voices. The just couldn't be. Could they?
I tried to open my eyes, but found them extremely heavy, and, despite myself, I found myself rolling over to get a few more minutes to sleep.
"Five more minutes", I begged.
"She lives!" The voice I thought I recognized as Arlimand joked.
Arlimand
Whoa, Hylia, shouldn't we start with the dream?
The dream?
Yes, the dream. With the Sage.
What dream about what Sage?
You know, the dream of the spirit world, where it was explained why we were "suddenly" adults.
That was a dream?
Well, no but it's the only way I can think to describe how it felt what about you?
I dunno, I think 'a bad trip' might do it justice.
If that's what it was, we were on some major 'shit'.
No kidding, huh? Well, I suppose I can start from there.
I think that might help the readers get some background for later.
But I like keeping my readers hopelessly confused.
I suppose it's one way to keep people from reading.
Well, when you bloody put it that way...
I would think you would have learned by now not to argue with me, it doesn't seem to work out for you.
Just because I don't think before I talk doesn't always mean that things don't work well for me. Sometimes I want to get you to say something.
All right, anyway, lets start from the 'bad trip' as you affectionately dubbed it.
Right.
Well, the bad trip seemed to start immediately after the darkness overtook my sight, but my joints told me that it'd been far longer than immediately. A small area of ground had appeared through a cloudy film that seemed to have covered my eyes. The whole thing was a dark shade of blue, and it seemed one of seven only protrusions from a watery platform in the middle of nothingness.
"Hello Hylia," A voice came from behind me.
I turned to see who it might've been who spoke, and I was surprised to see an old man with a white mustache that connected to his side burns, he was wearing a large orange tunic, adorned with a red belt and shoulder straps that connected just above the waist. in the center of this I observed the symbol of the triforce.
"Who are you? Where am I? Where are my companions?" I stood and found it difficult with my aching joints.
I couldn't help but notice how tall I was. In fact, I was taller than he was.
"My name is Rauru, The Sage of Light, and you are in the sacred realm. Your companions have already spoken to me and will be waiting in the Temple of Light when we finish," he said.
"All right," I said hesitantly, "So, what exactly is going on? Why don't I feel sad or apathetic? Why am I so tall?" I looked down at myself.
I was still wearing a blue tunic, except this time, I had white leggings and a white long sleeve under shirt. My boots fit nicely, and I didn't notice a single pain in my ankle, so I supposed I didn't have my rupee anymore. Oh well. I examined my tunic and couldn't help but have my eyes drawn to a certain place on my chest.
"One more question," I said as Rauru opened his mouth to speak again, "What the hell are these things?" I pulled up on the collar of my tunic, making the bulges in the middle of my chest bounce.
Rauru blushed so hard, I had a memory of Arli in Zora's domain with Miss Drooly fawning over him. The memory was so fresh in my mind, but felt so distant. Rauru was sputtering and I decided to spare him, it wasn't that big a deal anyway. At least, it wasn't that big a deal right now. I could figure it out later.
"Never mind, just continue with what you were going to say," I quickly took back, smoothing out my tunic.
"After Link, your companion in the green tunic, pulled the sword from it's pedestal, I was able to see that he was the one destined to save Hyrule and The Sacred Realm, with you two at his side, the problem was, none of you were yet old enough to be the Heroes. So, I kept you three here with me in the Temple of Light until you were old enough to save the world. That is your destiny. Do you understand?"
The last line he said caught my attention while I was examining the bulges on my chest.
"Yes, I do. But was there no place in the prophecy for Arlimand or me?" I wanted to know.
"There is, but it is not time, yet, for you to know," he told me, "There is a place for Arlimand, your companion in the red tunic, but now's not time for him to know."
"All right," I gave in, "But one more serious question," I desperately wanted to know, "Why am I not hurting from my parents' deaths anymore?"
"I woke your mind on occasion while you three slept. I knew you couldn't be mourning while saving the world. You all ready went through the grieving process," he explained, "Which will be why some of your memories seem distant."
"Okay, I guess that makes sense," I replied, "Well I guess I shouldn't keep my companions waiting any longer"
As soon as I had finished this sentence the darkness once again clouded around my vision.
I felt like I was being shaken.
"Knock it off, You're going to rattle her brains loose," A deep, yet familiar voice spoke.
"Well you tried once and weren't able to wake her, has she always been this heavy a sleeper?" Another deeper, familiar voice replied
"She didn't wake up when I tripped on her," echoed the other deep voice in reply.
"Maybe we need someone heavier," the second chuckled.
I recognized that chuckle and that idea of being tripped over, but those weren't my companions voices. The just couldn't be. Could they?
I tried to open my eyes, but found them extremely heavy, and, despite myself, I found myself rolling over to get a few more minutes to sleep.
"Five more minutes", I begged.
"She lives!" The voice I thought I recognized as Arlimand joked.
"Is that a reference to when I woke her?" The voice I determined as being Link's asked.
"Whatever would make you think that?" Arli's voice feigned innocence.
"Just a hunch," I heard the smile in Link's voice as he said this.
"Hey Hylia, you've filled out," Arli said.
Finally, the curiosity got the better of me and I opened my eyes. I screamed and jumped back, not expecting Arli's face to be three inches from mine.
"Still shrieks like a Keese," Arli laughed.
"Shut up, Arli," I snapped.
He grinned, and he and I looked up at Link, who was also grinning.
"Shut up, both of you," I corrected, but I still couldn't keep myself from laughing.
"Alright, so everyone awake now?" Arli asked, standing up and looking at me.
"Not yet," I groaned, "Can't we sleep some more?"
"Seven years isn't long enough?" Link asked cocking his eyebrow and looking at Arli, who shrugged.
"Not when you're woken up at least once a year to get you over the grieving process," I explained with my face in my arm.
"Do you think we should show her how bad things have gotten? It might make her want to get going," Arli said with a worried expression on his face.
"What do you mean, 'how bad things have gotten'?" I asked, sitting up on my knees.
We were in the Temple of Time again, next to the Pedestal of Time and everything looked pretty normal to me. Maybe a little darker, but normal anyway. Arlimand and Link looked at each other, and they grabbed either of my arms and hoisted me to my feet.
"Even I didn't expect Ganondorf to go this far," Arli said as we walked.
"What do you mean? Can you just explain before I see it?" I said worriedly, "I hate surprises. Especially bad ones."
Arli shook his head, "There are no words I can find to express it but pure destruction."
Link followed suit, "Or pure annihilation," he finished.
Oh dear.
(interlude)
Maybe you should describe the horrible annihilation of Hyrule. I'm getting a little too teary to express it very well.
It was depressing even to me, and I had never been to Hyrule Castle Towne before I met you two. I can do what I can, but as I said then, there really aren't words to express it.
Then don't express it. Try for the description of it. I'm crying a little too hard to.
All right, you get a handkerchief, and I'll describe as best I can. It will be from what I could see, so it may be a little different, but, here I go.
Chapter 2 Sheik
Link was right, at the time, all I could use to describe the scene was pure annihilation, now, however it would be better to say complete devastation. It was horrible, there was very little left of the bustling Town Square, any houses were burned so badly that it seemed a sneeze could bring it down, and any that weren't burned were little more than a pile of rubble. The trees that used to be placed strategically around the town were now black and, though it seemed to be the middle of spring, held no leaves. The houses still standing had shingles ready to fall off and spiderwebs across broken windows. The sky was a deep red that cast a depressing light across the destroyed town.
I didn't want to show any of this to Hylia so soon after we woke her up, but the fact that she still wanted to sleep forced my hand. I had brought Link out to see it after he awoke and his reaction was one of pure horror. As soon as I had seen this I knew that procrastinating our departure was not an option. There were what looked like statues standing around the fountain swaying in the square, I wasn't sure where they came from, but I was sure they were not good.
I thought Hylia would have a much stronger reaction because she grew up here. However, I didn't have any idea how strong it would be. I watched as she surveyed the same scene, and immediately her face began to pale and she began to sway like one of the statues around the fountain. Her eyes began to roll back and I prepared to help Link hold her up. Luckily she recovered before she completely lost consciousness. She shook her head and looked at me with desperation in her eyes.
"We have to find a way to restore this, but I am not sure where to go first, do you have any ideas Link?" I asked.
Quite suddenly, the was a large puff of smoke and a young man stood in front of us. He wore a skintight blue suit with a white hood-and-scarf combination with a red and purple eye and a single tear, around each finger he wore a kind of white bandage. He had bright red eyes and blond hair that dropped in a short braid over his shoulder.
At his appearance I went down in a stable pose with hands raised, ready to fight, but he only held up a palm and shook his head showing that he was not a threat, I relaxed a little but didn't drop my guard. He looked at each of us in turn, resting on Hylia and Link for a little longer than me.
"Hello," The man said, his voice higher than I would have expected for a man of his age.
"Hi," I stepped forward, "I'm Arlimand, these are my companions Hylia, and Link."
"I know," he said, "Link is the Hero of Time, and I've been waiting for all of you. Seeing you three standing there, all though it seems a little under-dignifying for Hylia, I truly believe that you three will save Hyrule together."
"Excuse me?" Hylia said.
"I said you look under-dignified. You're relying on your friends to hold you up. You've a bigger part in the prophecy than just holding onto your friends," he explained to her, and I couldn't help but chuckle.
"Shut up, Arlimand," she snapped and stood up on her own.
"Sorry, it was kind of funny." I replied sheepishly.
"So, I take it you three are ready for your quest?" He asked us.
I looked to my companions for confirmation, the looked at me and nodded simultaneously.
"As ready as we'll ever be I suppose," I told him.
"Then head to the Kakariko Graveyard. There's someone there who can help you," He said, I opened my mouth to respond, but before I could, he disappeared in the same puff of smoke.
"Well, Kakariko it is, I suppose" I said, turning to my companions.
(Second Interlude)
What's going on?
We're chronicling our adventures, Link.
Yeah, I just finished our first encounter with Sheik.
I didn't get to say anything.
You want to take the next part?
Sure. Sounds fun. Let's see, where were we? Aah, I've got a good starting place. Hyrule Field.
I don't think anything really happened between then and now, so sounds good to me.
Right.
Chapter 3 Lon Lon Ranch
Hylia had regained her footing and lead the way out of Hyrule Castle Towne. Now we were staring at Hyrule field. The sky was cloudy, and the grass was yellow and withered; the air was stale, and the trees were brown; even the dirt looked dead. I bent over to see if there were any bugs in the ground and I wasn't disappointed. But they weren't the usual bugs, and they certainly didn't look anything like the ones in Kokiri Forest.
"What are you doing?" asked Hylia, turning to me.
"I'm looking at something," I replied.
"Oh, man," Arli interrupted looking somewhere in the distance.
"What 'oh, man,' where?" Hylia wanted to know.
I looked up at Arli to see where he was looking, but I had a rough time seeing if anything else was out of the ordinary.
"Lon-Lon ranch, it looks... bad, really bad," He replied, pointing to the ranch.
"I think that's a mild way of putting it," Hylia nodded.
I had to agree. The sky over the ranch was darker than the rest of the sky above Hyrule and the grass there wasn't just dead, but it was charred, too. The stone walls that I could see from here made my gut churn as I saw small rocks falling from the upper walls, breaking small chunks off the smaller, lower ones. I stood and saw that the tree at the opening of the ranch, which had always been visible from both the Kokiri Forest entrance and Hyrule Castle Town, wasn't there.
"I think we should go check it out," I suggested.
"I think you're right," Hylia agreed with me.
"Let's hurry," Arli nodded and took off running.
Hylia and I looked at each other and followed his lead.
I was surprised at the speed we were travelling; even Hylia, who had always been the slowest of our group, was significantly swifter on her suddenly longer legs. She ran with a determination I only saw seven years ago when her parents were killed and I could do nothing to comfort her. Of course, to me, it was just a day ago that she'd lost her parents. As we neared the ranch, part of my mind wondered how long it felt to her...
What would have taken us all day not too long ago only took us about thirty minutes of pure running on adrenalin. Once we reached the ranch, I saw that not only was the grass charred, but some of it was still on fire.
"Hurry!" Hylia said as she, too, saw the fire, "We need to help! There's no doubt that this is Ganondorf's work!"
I agreed. Only one person could cause such wanton destruction of a beautiful place and leave it burning and falling apart.
"Guys? I don't think Ganondorf is the only one involved," Arli said pointing to a large sign above the gates.
Hylia and I looked up in unison at what should have said 'Lon-Lon Ranch'. Hylia gasped as I read aloud.
"Ingo Ranch."
"Maybe you're right. We need to put an end to this anyway," Hylia said, looking back at Arli.
"Absolutely, I don't know about you guys, but I never liked Ingo."
"I didn't, either," Hylia and I agreed at the same time.
"So let's stop dawdling and get to this," I said in a more commanding tone than I intended.
"Sir!" Hylia saluted me.
"Smart ass," I teased.
We took off running again, this time, into the ranch to put an end to Ingo's takeover.
Inside the ranch was darker than the outside, and Hylia couldn't stop looking up and pointing her ears in strange directions.
"What are you doing?" Arli asked, one eyebrow cocked.
"I'm listening for the music," Hylia said, "I liked the music, but it's gone now!"
"I would assume that's because Ingo put an end to all the joy in the area," I suggested.
"Or Ganondork did," Hylia returned.
"Why do you two call him that?" I asked.
Hylia and Arlimand turned to each other and shrugged.
"Hey, Link didn't you say you met a horse here?" Arli changed the subject.
"Yeah, I did, right before I met Hylia,"
"Oh great, horses," Hylia said in a tone I wasn't sure about the sincerity of, rolling her eyes.
"Well, I hate to think the circumstances the horses are in, how about we go talk to Ingo?" Arli pointed towards the pen where the horses were being trained.
"Sure," I said.
"You're nuts," Hylia pointed out.
"The Deku kind" Arli winked back at us as he strode toward Ingo, who stood outside the gate of the pen.
(interlude three)
How was that?
Not too bad, I'm pretty impressed. Your memory is astounding, I hope you know!
I agree, I can't seem to remember half the stuff that happened that quickly.
Not to ruin your amazement, but I've had some time to recall this. You two do all the work and I sit in the background recalling, you know.
Well, it's still pretty awesome.
Thanks.
So who should take the next part? I think I'm out, it would involve me revealing my technique if you know what I mean.
And Link just went, so I guess that leaves me. But I have no idea what you mean. Explain?
I agree, explain please.
My, erm, … 'Special talent', the one picked up from the Gerudo.
Ohhh... Haven't we all ready disclosed that one? That aside, I can't remember what happened.
Well, we have told them that I have said ability, but I would rather not have to tell how to do it lest our readers get any ideas for themselves. If we need to, I can take over and leave out the technique...
That might be advantageous because I have no recollection whatsoever.
To be honest, neither do I.
Hah, didn't think so.
All right then, let us continue.
Chapter 4 The Race
The minute we strode past the entrance gate I took in everything I could, for instance, several boards to the barn were missing and others were rotted away, no cuckoos were about, likely due to the lack of healthy looking insects. The hinges to the house were worn down and appeared as if they had not been oiled in years. The horse pen, however, had a healthy appearance, as if the logs making up the fence had recently been replaced, the gate had bright, new hinges, and several horses ran about the grounds.
Since the seven years passed I had grown to be almost a head taller than Link, and my muscles (which, unexpectedly hadn't seemed to have atrophied through lack of use, if anything they appeared stronger) were bulging from my arms, not enough to restrict my movement, but enough that I would appear threatening to many others if that was my goal.
"Hello," I strode up to Ingo, his back turned to me.
"What do you want?" he turned and got a look at me, after which he quickly changed his tune, "I mean, What is it that you have come here after?"
"Well, my companions and I," I motioned to Link and Hylia, who at this time, stood next to me, "are on a long journey, and we wish to know if you had any horses that could carry us, mine would have to be very strong, and not easily tired."
"Why don't you test some of the horses, and you can see which one fits you," Ingo replied with a dark shine in his eyes, "One ride costs," he paused for a moment, "ten rupees each."
I turned and looked at my companions, who began to rifle through their bags. I did the same, as Link and I both found a small wallet with fourty rupees in each we looked at Hylia.
"I never really liked horses, you guys go ahead I'll watch." She said.
"Ten rupees each, that comes out to twenty," I told Ingo, "for me and my companion in green," I didn't mention Link's name in case he recognized it.
"Okay, go on in and find your horses, you can have five minutes." he replied opening the gate.
'Hey Link, does this thing still work?' I sent the thought to his mind.
'I can hear you, so I guess so,' he replied.
'Do you remember which horse it was?' I asked, stepping toward the center of the pen and looking around at the horses.
'Not exactly, but I know what'll make her show up,' came his reply.
'What are you talking about?' Hylia sent.
'I know a song that she likes,' he replied, glancing at her.
'All right, hey do you think that one will support me?' I asked, pointing to a large black horse with grey hooves, mane, and tail.
'Looks like it,' Hylia called.
'All right' I gave a shrill whistle (I don't even know where I learned how to whistle,) and all the horses looked at me.
Looking straight at the large, black, horse I held out my hand. Slowly, carefully, I took a couple steps toward it. It watched me carefully, but never backed up. A couple more steps and I was touching his nose. He sniffed my one hand as I slowly stroked his head with the other. His head, I now noticed, had a large white stripe going up the center of his face. Carefully, I moved to the side and hoisted myself on the saddle. The horse proved very strong, it didn't so much as flinch under my weight.
"Okay," I called to Link, "I'm good, go ahead and call your horse."
"Got it," He said, and put the Ocarina to his lips.
The tune was three descending notes, repeated twice, then another two ascending notes played once. As soon as this tune was finished, a chestnut brown horse with white markings similar to that of mine ran up to Link.
"Epona!" Link exclaimed happily and petted the horse
'Quiet, Link, don't point out that it's Epona, at least, not in front of Ingo.'
"Oh, wait," Link said, pretending to examine Epona, "Never mind."
The horse looked as disgruntled as a horse could when Link pretended that she wasn't the horse she was.
We rode around on our horses in the pen. Across the hurdles, around the perimeter, and round a couple of obstacles. After about three minutes Ingo called us over.
"You two are pretty good on those horses, care for a little race?" he asked me.
'What do you think?' I asked Link through my thoughts.
'I'm game,' he replied.
'You two are crazy,' thought Hylia from the sidelines.
'Heh heh, crazy horse' I thought back, not entirely sure why.
"All right, but why don't we make things interesting," I said pulling out my bag of rupees. "We will put our wallets and all the rupees in them, if we win, we you give us the ammount in our wallets, and we get to keep the horses."
"Not my wallet!" Hylia called.
"Gee, thanks for the support," Link told her.
"Sounds good to me," Ingo replied, "We'll put the money here on this table, one lap around the corall, first one over the finish line wins."
After finally convincing Hylia, the three of us put our wallets on the table, and mounted the horses. Ingo matched the money and put it on the table and also mounted his horse.
"All right, Hylia, call it," I called.
Hylia closed her eyes and scrunched up her nose. She looked like she was either thinking very hard or having a painful time using the bathroom. Finally, she opened her eyes. They were deeper blue than they usually were and she pointed at Link.
What were you doing anyway?
I was kind of cheating. I was using my intuition to see who would win the race. I kind of did it wrong. I meditated on who would ultimately win.
Oh, I see.
So you weren't just making a show of yourself?
Well, I was doing that, too.
Anyway, let's continue
My turn?
Sure.
Sounds good to me.
After using my insight to see who would win, I stood off to the side, watching my two idiotic companions begin their race with Ingo to save two horses from this godawful place. I strode to the starting line and positioned myself in front of and between Arlimand and Link's horses. I pulled my old green handkerchief out of my sleeve and held it above my head.
"Remember! This will be a clean race. No knocking the others off their horses, no kicking, and no blocking! Understood?" I called to the racers 'and that means you, Arli,' I quickly added mentally.
I waited for everyone to nod.
'Oh, come on, just because I look strong... That's prejudiced!' Arli replied in his mind but nodded.
'It's not prejudice. I know you,' I thought back.
Link gave a snort of laughter, and when Ingo looked, he covered it up with pretending to sneeze.
'That could have been close,' I joked.
'Oh, be quiet and start the race,' Link taunted back.
"Ready racers?" I called, "On your marks!" Link and Arli leaned forward slightly, "Get set!" Ingo got ready to spurr his horse in its flanks, "GO!" I threw my green handkerchief down and the three men flew past me.
I ran to the sidelines again to avoid getting trampled by the giant beasts once they came 'round again. I noticed that Ingo had a slight lead on Link and Arli as I turned back. Link looked uncomfortable on his horse, but not as uncomfortable as poor Arlimand did. Arli looked like he was going to either ditch the horse or fall off. Either way, I'm sure the bouncing hurt. I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach when I saw Ingo get a greater lead on them. As they came closer to the finish line, it was obvious that we lost.
'I give you permission to pickpocket, Arli, just once. We can't afford to lose. Literally,' I thought.
'Excellent, I wonder if I can still do it as well as I used to,' Arli wondered.
"Ha ha ha, you guys loose, pay up, come back for a rematch anytime," Ingo laughed, his hands counting up his bounty.
It was at this time I actually was able to see Arli slip behind him and reach into his wallet, if I hadn't been looking for him, I don't think I would have noticed him. I know for certain that Ingo didn't notice him, because Link offered to race again, and he agreed. When they pulled out their wallets, Ingo was astonished to find that he didn't have the rupees. How do I know?
"Hey! Where did my money go?" He yelled.
"I don't know, maybe you dropped it on the track?" Arli suggested, amazingly able to keep a straight face.
Ingo grumbled something about his stupid useless horse and laid his wallet down, "This time if I win, your blonde friend there becomes my assistant on the ranch."
"Oh HELL-" I began to say.
"Deal" Arli said, then with his mind told me, 'It's okay, I figured something out, well, two things actually, one, lean forward when riding, there is less bounce, thus less pain, and two, he slows down a lot around the turns, if we pass him there, then keep ahead of him we can win.'
'If you're wrong' I mentally threatened, 'You will both live to regret it.'
'Don't worry, you heard my tactic right Link?' Arli asked sending his thought out.
'I did' he thought back.
'You will have to get ahead of him, bounce or no bounce, I have never ridden a horse before and I am not very good, you seem to have the hang of it, you will have to pull off most of it, I'll do what I can, but most of my faith is in you,' Arli thought.
'No pressure,' I mentally told Link.
'Nope, none at all,' He thought back.
"HURRY UP!" Ingo yelled from his position at the starting line.
We all lined up in our positions and I started the race. I ran back to the sidelines and watched the race from a safe distance away, hoping like HELL that I wouldn't be Ingos ranch assistant. I knew what he thought of me. I could see it in the way he forced his horse to hurry to catch up with Link. But Link was getting too far ahead! The last corner before the race, and Ingo was red-faced and angry, Link was too far in the lead to be caught, and he won the race by at least a meter! I was so happy, that when he got off Epona, I ran up to him and hugged him.
"I knew you wouldn't let me down!" I said.
"Sure you did," came his sarcastic reply.
"Great job Link!" Arli shouted running up and gently patting Link's shoulder.
"Hey! What horse is that?" Ingo shouted storming over to us.
It was all I could do to not grin. I knew what horse it was, and, from Arli's expression, so did he.
(Fourth Interlude)
How about them apples?
Man, Ingo was not happy.
Nope. He even tried to grab Hylia and run off with her.
Heee... I kicked his ass.
It was soon after that Malon took over right? Where did we find her anyway?
She was tied up in a stable, right Link?
Right. And she was so happy to get out and take back the ranch. But, my question is, why did Ingo suddenly go back to being nice?
I can answer that. When I whooped him, a small gem popped out of his ear. I think he was being brainwashed by Ganondorf, and that was what controlled him.
Makes as much sense as anything else in this story.
Hey, I'm not the one who comes up with these circumstances! Blame Nintendo.
Uhh... Guys? I think someone just shattered a window...
That wasn't a window.
Then what was it?
We just broke the fourth wall (I've always wanted to make that joke.)
Sometimes I wonder about your sanity.
You and me both, Link.
Hey, shut up, I'm funny.
Anyway, moving on, who wants to take the next part of the story?
Not me!
I just took the last part.
So that means it's my turn then, huh?
Looks like it.
Where to begin I wonder?
I dunno. How about Arli's embarrassing riding lessons?
Maybe it would be better to explain how Ingo wouldn't let us leave.
Hmmm... There's really not much to tell about that. He just closed the gates, and I don't remember a thing about the lessons.
Well, how about our stay at Lon Lon? Or heading to Kakariko?
I don't really want to re-live staying at Lon Lon Ranch, 'kay thanks. It wasn't fun with Ingo ogling me the whole time, so let's not talk about that one.
*Snicker*
*Guffaw*
Shut up, both of you. You will suffer.
You sound like Gaz.
After all these years, you two still surprise and confuse me.
Uhh, never mind. Let's get back to thinking about where to start.
Was that the fourth wall?
Yep, again. And to think, we just put that thing back up.
You get started on the story I'll fix the wall.
Right. I think I'll start from Hylia's experience riding the horses.
Oh hell n...
Right, here we go.
Chapter 5 Sleeping Troubles
We'd managed to escape Lon Lon ranch by having Epona and Arlimand's horses jump a low, crumbling wall in the back. Hylia had refused to get on either horse, but after a little persuasion and beating the daylights out of Ingo, I finally managed to convince her to at least ride with Arlimand. Though, why she didn't ride with me, the actually competent rider, I don't think I'll ever know.
(It was probably because my horse was stronger... sorry, I'll shut up now.)
(God's body, shut up you two!)
(Sorry...)
(Ahem. Anyway...)
At any rate, Hylia jumped down from Arlimand's horse the instant it touched the ground and tumbled down a hill for a few seconds. Once she saw that the horse wasn't following her, she stood up and pulled on her tunic.
"I'm not getting back on any bloody horse!" she called from her standing position about fifteen feet away from us.
"Hylia, it's a one day ride, as opposed to a three day walk, either get on the horse willingly or I'll drag you up onto him," Arli said sternly.
Hylia shook her head like a stubborn, spoiled child, and I sighed. Arli shook his head and whispered something unintelligible to his horse, who then stamped his hoof twice. Hylia jumped back, so I petted Epona on her flank and hopped down.
"Come on, Hylia, the horses won't kill you," I said, stepping slowly toward her.
"You don't know that!" she protested, "Horses have a tendency to buck me off!"
"They won't buck you off," I said as she took a few steps backward, "And I swear I will chase you around Hyrule if you keep backing up like that."
"No," she said unintelligently, "no no no no no no."
At that moment, Hylia took another step backward and bumped into Arlimands horse, which quietly snuck around behind her. She turned around and repeated her unintelligent line of 'no no no no no', and walked backwards toward me. Arlimand reached for her, and she jumped back. I caught her by the back of her tunic and hoisted her over my shoulder.
(I'm still mad at you for that.)
(Hylia...)
(Can we please continue the story? P.S. Link, face it, with girls, you can't win. If you win, you lose; if you lose, you lose.)
(Shut up and get back to the story. Jerks.)
With a few 'let me go's from Hylia, I hopped back on Epona and set off at a gentle trot. I heard Arlimand set off his horse at a faster pace, leading the way to Kakariko, and I had to set Hylia down behind me so she would stop kicking me in the face.
"Hey, you guys," Arli tuned his horse around and pointed behind us in the sky, "We spent a lot of time at Lon Lon ranch, we have two options, majority wins, one, we right through nightfall and arrive in Kakariko a few hours after darkness, or two, we..."
Hylia interrupted him from behind me, "I say we find a place to make camp!"
"Why?" Arli asked, "So you can avoid getting back on a horse tomorrow? What do you think Link?"
"Well, I am getting pretty tired..." I said, rubbing my eye to make a point.
"Hylia, you have to promise you won't put up a fight when we mount tomorrow morning..." Arli said stiffly.
"Why do I even have to ride these bloody things?" she asked, kicking Epona lightly, and, as if he understood, Arlimands large horse gave out a loud reproachful whinny.
"Unless you can prove you can keep up on your feet, it's the fastest way we have to get around," Arli replied nonchalantly.
Hylia opened and closed her mouth several times before saying, "I hate you," and getting down off Epona's back.
"I'll take that as a promise," Arli said, getting down and grabbing the reins of both horses, "Where is the nearest stream?"
"Over this way," Hylia said, pointing and walking west.
"All right, Link, do you want to stay here and set up camp while we freshen up the horses?" Arli asked me.
"Sure," I said, getting down, "Just leave your packs and I'll figure something out."
Arli nodded and slid his pack from his shoulders to the ground, and turned and called to Hylia to do the same as he began walking after her. She tossed her pack at him and it hit him in the face. She laughed and began running in the direction she pointed. Arlimand set the pack down and led the horses in a quick trot after her. She looked back, gave a small squeak, and took off running; I couldn't help but laugh at her expense.
Setting up camp was harder than I would have thought. First of all, we stopped a good distance from any trees, so there wasn't much we could use to feed a fire; I decided it would be best to begin by setting up the sleeping pads. I dug around the packs until I found them, they'd been in Hylia's pack. I was surprised when I found that the pads weren't the same kind we had as children, they were much softer lighter, and they held heat pretty well. Having no other options for warmth, I set them in a large circle. I searched in Hylia's pack for the blankets, hoping that we even had any, and was sorely disappointed not to find any in her pack. I searched mine again, no blankets there, and none in Arli's either. Well, that was disappointing.
'Hey, Link,' Arli's voice pierced through my thoughts.
'Hmm?' I thought back.
'Do you think you can find something to start a fire, I'm going to see if I can catch us some dinner,' he replied.
'I don't see a single tree around,' I thought back, ''And hasn't Ganondorf killed the decent fish?'
'I would think so, but I see some in here, but something seems weird about the river, It's freezing cold, is that usual?'
'Not really,' I replied, 'but I don't suppose it's too unusual.'
'Well, I mean like, fed by a glacier cold, freeze your ass off cold, Hylia can't take a bath downstream cold. For this time of year, I don't think that's normal.'
'Shut up, Arlimand,' I heard Hylia say.
Boy, if she was using his full name, she mustn't be happy with him.
'No, I don't think that's normal then...' I thought.
'If the horses are refreshed maybe Hylia can bring the horses back, there seems to be some wood around here, if you can find dry grass and rocks for tinder and a fire pit, maybe my horse can carry some back to you,' his thoughts rang in my head.
'I am not touching those damned creatures!' I heard Hylia protest, then oddly enough, I could have sworn I heard a reproachful whinny from Arli's horse.
'Well, you two'd better figure something out before nightfall, we don't have blankets,' I mentally told them.
'Shit!' I heard a unanimous reply
'Hylia, you don't have to ride the horses, just use the reins to lead them back to camp, help me load up Storm here-'
'Storm?' Hylia and I asked.
'What? I can't name my horse? Besides, that's what Malon called him,' Arli replied.
I heard Hylia give a disgusted sigh.
'If you get back and I have caught something, the river is all yours' Arli thought to Hylia.
'I don't think I'm up to bathing right now,' she thought back, 'I'm getting dressed right now anyway.'
'All right, I'll start loading him up, they should be there in ten to twenty minutes, Link.'
'I don't wanna...' Hylia mentally whined.
'Then you can freeze tonight' Arli replied, 'in case you didn't hear, we have no blankets.'
'Come on, Hylia, the horses won't kill you,' I mentally told her to calm her down.
'You don't know that,' She told me.
'Yes I do.'
'Hylia, please, we don't have time to argue, besides, you know how to start fires better than I do,' Arli replied, slightly embarrassed
"FINE!" I heard her physically yell from where she was, and I knew there would be no living with her from now on.
'Hylia...' Arli thought, wanting to say more but knew she wouldn't accept any apologies he might make at the moment.
(fifth interlude)
Thank you for not talking about my horrible experience taking the horses back.
Consider it an apology, at the time I didn't know you were phobic about them, just a little scared, and as he said you wouldn't have accepted any apology I could have made at that time.
I'm still not sure I want to accept your apology.
Hylia...
Please? I didn't know how scared you were, I thought if you could take the horses, you wouldn't be as afraid... I was trying to help... I'm sorry.
Well now you know.
Anyway, where do we go from here?
Well, unless you want me to take the next part it's your turn, Hylia, so should we talk about the ambush?
I took the one before this. But I like the idea of telling our readers about the ambush.
Sorry looked too far back. In that case I'll take it, do I start during the night or from when I came back with the fish?
I'd go with starting from bringing the fish.
I made my way back towards the camp to see a small fire and three pads a small distance from it. Hylia was sitting on hers hugging her knees to her chest and crying. Link stood by the pit tending the fire, he looked up at me. I sent him a look that asked if she was any better, and he cocked his eyebrow as if he didn't understand. So I stepped over and sat down next to him, fish in my hands.
"I caught some fish," I said out loud to no one in particular, "Do we have any way to cook them?"
"Not really..." Link said.
Hylia sniffled.
"Well then we'll have to make some thing, maybe poke a stick through them and hold them over the fire," I lowered my voice so only Link could hear, "So, is she any better? I want to apologize but I don't think she will forgive me if she's still upset."
"Well, she hasn't stopped crying since she ran up with the horses," Link told me just as quietly, "and I tried to cheer her up, but she nearly beat me to death with the hilt of the Master Sword."
"That bad huh?" I asked rubbing the back of my head.
"You have no idea."
"Well, lets eat, then get some sleep, I'm sure we all could use it, especially Hylia. You know, Hylia, whether you accept it or not... I'm sorry," I turned and grabbed a sharp stick by the side of the firepit, and poked it into one of the fish.
Hylia's only response was to sniffle and shudder. After a good sized dinner, we all curled up on our pads. A few minutes later, I heard Hylia's breathing become more relaxed, and after another fifteen I heard Link begin snoring gently. It couldn't have been long after that that I drifted off.
I regained consciousness suddenly, unsure of what woke me. I waited and heard movement a small distance away from our campsite. I turned and looked at my companions. Not wishing to alert whatever may be there I decided to use our telepathic link.
'Link! Hylia! Wake up!' I almost shouted in my mind.
Hylia snorted and sat up, "I'm up!" she mumbled, "don't make me ride the pony!"
'Shhh! Something is moving a little bit away from our campsite, wake up and use the mind link.' I said in my mind, 'Link! Wake up now!' I shouted in my mind.
Link sat up, "humm?"
'SHhhhh I think something is trying to get close and attack us' I thought.
'Shit!' Hylia thought to us, 'just as I was getting out of a nightmare!'
'Yeah, well, I'd prefer a nightmare to the real thing,' I sent the thought to my companions.
'I've got a bad feeling,' Link thought groggily.
'You're both paranoid!' Hylia thought to us, laying back down to rest.
'I hope you're right,' I thought beginning to lay down myself when a twig snapped about ten feet from our camp.
All three of up sat bolt upright, and Link pulled out the Master Sword, Hylia rolled to the side and pulled her slingshot out of her pack. I looked around for anything I could use and my eyes landed on a branch by the fire-pit about as long as I was tall, and a good thickness. I picked it up and put my hands on either side of the middle ready to fight. Hylia stood and backed up, bumping into me.
'Close ranks!' she thought to us, 'our weakness is the half of us we can't see!'
'Hylia, stay behind me and Link take care of them from a distance we'll keep them off you,' I thought.
'With this dinky thing?' she protested.
'I'm not saying fight them alone, but if you stay behind us, we can help you get a clear shot of some of them, or we could go back to back... to back,' I thought.
'I meant form a triangle!' she told me.
'Oh, sorry I didn't understand, but, in that case I agree,' I couldn't help but chuckle at my own stupidity.
Link put his back to our backs and I could hide my astonishment at why Hylia had wanted us to form a triangle. While I had heard one creature we actually had an entire group attempting to surround us. One approached me and I swung one end of my makeshift weapon at it's head and we heard a jarring crack, and it's head flew to our left to land out of sight.
'What are these things? They remind me of stallchilds...children.. whatever.' I thought as I swung at another's torso, causing it to collapse
'They're Stalfos. Kind of the grownup variety of stall...children,' Hylia answered, ramming her elbow into one of them to her right in the head and kicking it's knee out, 'shouldn't Navi be answering this... where is that annoying bitch?'
I laughed and took another swing 'So, why is it we never saw any of these things before?'
'I wouldn't be surprised if they were Ganondorf's inventions,' Link replied, 'And be nice guys, Navi's helpful.'
Hylia scoffed and took out a few more with her boots, 'Yeah, if you want an earache for three days!'
I decided to interrupt, 'How long do you guys think we can hold out? There seems to be no end.' At this point Darkness enveloped my senses, and out of no where a Great fairy appeared.
"What the hell?" Hylia cried, "What did I just bloody miss?"
"Same thing I think I just did," I heard Link say to my right.
"I wish they would warn us before they did that," I commented.
"Children and warriors of Hyrule" the great faerie began, "I have come to get you out of the dire straights you are in. I grant you each two gifts. Arlimand the Fierce," she turned to me, "I give you Din's Fire; a burning rage that destroys all evil doers and the stamina to use it endlessly as long as there is battle. Link the courageous," she looked at Link, "I give you Farore's Wind; a swiftness to take you into the heart of battle wherever it may be and the ability to withstand more damage than anyone should take. Hylia the Noble," she turned to Hylia who closed her eyes, causing the great faerie to laugh, "I give you Nayru's Love, the ability to protect yourself and your companions so you may heal them even if they are an inch from death. With that, I depart. Fare thee well heroes," then she disappeared and we once again were in the midst of our former battle.
"Yeah, I really wish they would warn us when they do that." I said to my friends behind me.
"I concur," Hylia said, testing out her new found magic.
"Ooh, very nice," I told her observing the blue, translucent barrier that appeared around the three of us, "Let me try mine."
I crouched low and felt intense burning, though not painful, energy flow and build up throughout my body. Finally, feeling as though I would burst into flame if I didn't release it, I stood and let it escape from my extremities. It manifested as a bright red fire around the barrier and quickly pushed out around us, burning anything malicious in it's wake, yet somehow leaving the grass and other flora around us unharmed.
"Impressive," Link said, "let me give mine a try!"
And he was gone! Just like a snap Link disappeared in a swirl of wind and leaves, only to appear in the middle of the crowd of Stalfos and cut several of them down by spinning the Master Sword around his body. Not quite accurate once I observed him make the move again. In fact, he held the Master Sword at arms length and spun around to chop several Stalfos down in one swing. While I'll admit I was impressed, two more seemed to close in on him for every one he cut down. Soon, however, this realization hit him and I saw the wind and leaves once again. I assumed he was coming back under the safety of the shield, but, then I saw wind and leaves begin to swirl, this time around us. Then, before I got the chance to say anything we were standing next to each other.
"Hylia!" He ordered through the midst of stomping skeletal feet, "Make sure that shield doesn't fall. Arlimand, use that fire of yours. There's no way I can do this alone!"
"Get right next to me, both of you! If you want me to do this I don't want to risk you two getting hurt, but I am going to see if I can include the nearest in the attack," I replied and they obediently closed ranks once again.
I crouched down, feeling the energy flow more quickly this time, and pushed it to build up in my arms and legs. I then pictured the scenery around me and imagined the dome of fire appearing at the edge of our ranks before I released it. I could feel the warmth of the fire, and I heard Hylia give a very childish 'ooh, pretty fire!'. When I looked up, I found that it was indeed closed in around us, and I pushed the energy out with such incredible speed that there were no Stalfos within twenty feet of us in any direction.
'Everyone have a weapon ready?' I thought to my friends at my back.
'I don't have one besides this dinky thing!' Hylia mentally-yelled at her slingshot.
'How much control do you have over that shield?' Link mentally asked.
'I'm not sure,' came Hylia's eventual hesitant reply.
After a brief pause the shield suddenly went from a dome shape to a pyramid shape, then a cube. I heard her clap her hands and squeal in excitement behind me.
'Neat,' I thought, 'if we go and fight, do you think you can bring the shield over us in case of an emergency?'
'I'm not sure yet again, but I can try,' she thought back.
'Charge on three?' I sent the thought to Link and held my staff in front of me.
'Only if we know Hylia's safe from these monsters,' he replied.
'If she can't keep the shield up, you teleport us out of here' I said with confidence,
'I don't think I can charge while holding up a shield,' Hylia thought.
I turned to look at her and glanced at something out of the corner of my eye.
'Can Stalfos climb do you think?' I asked, the grin obvious in my voice.
'I don't think so. Why?' Hylia returned.
'Because you can, Skultulla' I grinned at her and pointed to the tree I had seen, then whistled.
Storm came crashing through the crowd of Stalfos, breaking more than a few of their bones as he passed them, and stopped a few feet in front of me. He bent his head down and in his ear I whispered to him to keep the Stalfos away from Hylia, he gave out a whinny and clopped his hooves twice as he took a defensive position ten feet from Hylia.
'Don't worry, you don't have to ride him, he is just going to keep them away from you in case the shield falls,' I told her.
'I... I don't wanna...' she stuttered.
'He won't come any nearer to you than he is now, I promise, he is just going to keep the Stalfos away, just run!' I called in my mind.
'Do you promise?' she tentatively asked as she turned away.
'Yes, just Run!' I shouted back as I swung my staff and took off the skull of a nearby Stalfos.
She took off, and the shield remained around Link and me.
"She's more talented than she gives herself credit for," I told Link, observing the shield, "So, on three?"
"That's the self esteem of someone who gets labeled a reject," he began, "Yep, one... two..."
"THREE!" we shouted unanimously and charged out from behind the shield into the thick of the Stalfos.
I think someone else should take it from here, I'm not entirely sure what happened, last I remember, I stood in the middle of a bunch of broken bones and cracked skulls...
All I remember is being up in that tree giving your aerial support, trying to ignore the feeling we were being watched.
That leaves you, Link, do you think you can take it from here?
I'm afraid I can't be much more help.
Well, as I said, I seemed to black out during the fight, but I must have still been fighting, seeing is how the worst injury I received was a deep cut on my must be something you remember...
Nope, I remember charging and cutting the head off one, and a hail of rocks coming from Hylia's direction knocking holes in skulls, but other than that, the fight is a vague memory.
That's not helping my memory... Argh...
Let's see, you said that it felt like we were being watched, a hail of rocks from Hylia's direction, Storm was guarding the tree, and I believe someone asked where I learned to use something like that, and I said that I never learned, in fact, I had never seen a weapon like it before... any help to either of you guys?
Nope.
Well, I asked you where you learned to wield that weapon...
I'm out of ideas. How about we put these scrolls up for later? I think some sleep would do us all some good. Sound good guys?
Yeah, I like that idea.