The Seeker: Those First Tears
Was she callous? She didn't think so. The best way to stop the violence that humans resorted to, would be to meet it. She knew though, that other souls would disagree and most would likely send her away. She wouldn't do that. That would leave other souls undguarded from those vicious humans.
Vicious? Please. She flinched as she stared at those lines again. she hated those lines. she knew that Wanderer was there with her vicious humans, hiding there, laughing at her. Taunting her. She frowned. She'd already been driving back and forth across Picacho Peak and the lines tickled her brain. She'd seen them! But where? She set out that weekend, and drove back and forth again, frowing at the skyline as she remembered the lines.
"Where are they?" She snarled to herself in the car, her voice seeming to echo.
Oh, look. You've gone crazy, how lovely. And stop wearing black all the time. I'm baking in here.
Shut up. This is my place, and you're just an inferior being.She didn't believe her words. Neither did Lacey. She knew that deep down, because of her continued and loud existence, that Autumn Born would never know what it was like to be alone to her own thoughts.
Oh, don't be like that. I'm sure that really you just love me. Ugh, I'm hungry feed us.
She sighed. It was true that her stomach was twisting a little at her hunger, but she ignored it. Then I saw what she'd been waiting to see. Saw the mountains outlines, and mentally compared them to the lines, she'd obsessed over. The ones that would lead her to those brutish humans. She smiled. Shewondered if Wanderer was with them now, talking to them, befriending them, helping them kill...
I was overwhlemed again, by the feelings of my host. I'd just taken a bite of steak, and felt my eyes brim with tears. The soul I ate with frowned, and put his fork down, and placed his hand on my own.
"Is it making you sick? Perhaps we should report it." he said. His name was Sings Upwards. He was a former Bat. We were having another night out. I'd recently moved in with him, and recently I'd been feeling romatically about him. He was beautiful to me. He was taller than me, his hair long for a male, and his green eyes covered by the dark, rich brown hair. He had a long nose. He'd told me, his host used to be teased about it. His lips thin and soft. I knew this because I'd kissed him multiple times.
Kissed? I've been kissed, and kissed. That was more like a bumping of lips, awkwardly. Lacey's thoughts broke her from the memory momentarily. She ignored her, and continued thinking.
"It's not bad. I just love the taste. I can't seem to stop crying, here. I wonder if the other planets are like this?" I asked him. I knew he'd been on three. He smiled at me and my heart thumped.
"Not, this bad. This is the most emotional I think, of all the planets. Would you like a tissue?" he asked, gently as he rubbed my hand. He was carrying them around a lot now. We'd met because he happened to have one, and I'd been crying as I saw a sunset. I was sure he was my partner, but held myself back. I had no idea if he felt the same. How could I? I may be used to reading facial expressions, but I'd never seen how newfound love looked like. Besides, we had a long time, didn't we? I smiled at him, and grabbed his hand, rubbed the rough knuckles there.
"No thank you. I'll be fine in a moment. See? All better now." I grinned at him. He nodded and continued eating. We talked about his job as a chef. I laughed as he absentmindedly talked about the way he would have prepared the steak. We talked about me being a Seeker. He asked again why I'd chosen it.
"Why did you choose to be a Seeker? Wouldn't you rather doing something less violent?"
"Well," I said, placing my untensils on the plate. Today, I wanted to tell him the truth. I knew that now as he asked. I knew that I would do what I could for him. No matter the cost. Was this what love felt like? No wonder humans so desperately sought it out! "I'll tell you when we leave. It's kind of a secret, and you can't tell anyone." I told him, gazing levelly. He looked surprised at my words, but nodded.
"Are you finished?" he asked.
"Yes. How about we take a walk?" I suggested, blushing. Many times we would walk. Those walks would end usually with more kisses. I felt my skin darken, and hoped that he wouldn't be able to see it. He smiled at me and guided me out of the restaraunt. He grasped my hand and squeezed. The pressure made my heart do a little jig in my chest.
"Well?" he asked, his voice curious.
I swallowed. How would he react. Would he suspect that I was not me? Would he be disgusted? I felt myself cringe away at the thought. If he hated me, I was sure that life would not be worth living if he hated me. I took a deep breath to steady my resolve. He deserved the truth, no matter how horrible.
"My...host. She's not gone. She's still here. In my head. She talks to me somethimes, but she stays quiet mostly." I whispered. I heard a strange sound. A kind of keening, and realized that it was me sobbing. How embarassing. He must think I was weak now.
"Autumn?" he asked. My name, well the shortened version of it anyway, brought my eyes to his.
"I'm sorry, it's just that, if you wish to not see me anymore I won't blame you. I'm an abomination, aren't I?" my voice quivered and broke at the term. Abomination. That's what I was.
"No, you're strong. You've seen firsthand the horrors that humans bring about, yet, you still fight her. You're fighting you're own war with humans and you're winning. It doesn't matter to me. What does matter is how it upsets you! Why won't you leave the body, and have it disposed of?" he asked, kissing my temples. My tears slowed and stopped. Why hadn't I told him weeks ago? It was obious that it didn't really matter to him. I felt like a fool, but I was elated. Flying really.
"I don't want to skip. Besides. Maybe she'll give up if she can't get control." I said, my voice relieved. My worries had been unneeded. He wasn't repulsed. Quite the contrary. He seemed impressed that I was fighting her. He thought I was strong.
"Maybe. But you shouldn't chance it. We'll talk about it tomorrow." We walked in silence. Occasionally, we would stop and share kisses. I was still flying. He still wanted me! Didn't care that I was housing a ferocious human, still wanted me! The quiet was disturbed, by a rustle in the bushes. He paused and tilted his head, at the bush. The next few minutes were quick and would forever shape me into the sould I would become. A human male burst forward. I was slow to react, but Sings Upwards was not. He grabbed the human and stopped his movements. I watched them fight, not even having the presence of mind to call for help. The scuffle was quiet. The human grunted, and pushed forward. But Sings Upwards was strong. Well, his body was I suppose.
"Autumn! Run!" he called, turning to me, his eyes desperate and pleading. Filled with love. I almost lurched forward, but was stopped, by a sickening sound. The sound of a kinfe piercing skin. It was Sings Upwards who fell and I saw blood soak his shirt. The human was running away, but I was beyond caring. I crawled to Sings Upwards, tears pouring out of my eyes. I pulled out my phone and despaired when I found it wasn't there. I must have left it in the restaraunt. I knew he didn't have his, and I cried harder. How could this be? I was a Seeker, yet in the face of danger, I was no more than a liability. Because of me he was dying. As soon as that thought entered my mind, it left with a vicious correction. No, he is dying because of the evil in the human heart.
"I'm so sorry. If I had my phone-" he put his hands on my lips. My eyes widened.
"It's not your fault. I should've had mine anyway. Pretty ridiculous of me. I suppose this'll teach me a lesson." his words were vaguely teasing, but I did not laugh. My tears only came harder. I started scrreaming for help, but no movement or sound answered me. I grabbed the knife and pulled it out. He gasped and grimaced. I flinched and kissed his lips. Who knows how many times I'll get to do it...?
"I'm sorry. I just, had to pull it out." I ripped off my jacket and used it to stop the bloodflow. He cried out, when I put too much pressure on it.
"Eh, not so...hard." Blood came out of his mouth, and I cried some more. How could this tiny body produce so many tears? Why wouldn't they stop? My vision was blurring. I tried to force my tears to stop. If these were going to be his last moments, I wanted to have a clear view.
"I'm s-so s-sorry. I sh-should've helped you, o-or, done something, screamed louder! Sings Upward, I love you! I'm so sorry. You are my partner, and I'm sorry. I should've done more, now because of me, you're dying." My words flowed so easily, as if this was th moment that I'd been waiting for. Why couldn't I have told him thise when he was well? When he wasn't bleeding, and my hands weren't smeared with his blood? Why couldn't I tell him, when we had so much more time ?
"Don't...say...that. I'm glad..that...you aren't hurt. You...are my partner...and knowing...you felt...the...same...is...enough...for me." His eyes slowly lost their light and my keening cries grew in noise. Then I heard the souls, coming closer, their voices filled with concern.
"Miss are you alright? Oh, goodness! Are you hurt? Quick, call a Healer!" The words were drowned out, and I held myself over Sings Upwards body, crying. Ignoring all that went all around me. After that night, I made a pact to myself. I would wear nothing but black. I would capture as many humans as I could, and make sure that humans could never hurt anymore souls. It was the day my heart hardened, and became so dark.
The memory, faded away, to the back of my brain. After that night, Lacey talked more often. My sorrow sometimes crippled me, allowing her to talk to me. Make her prescence louder. I briefly wiped away my tears, and strenghtened my resolve. I was still fighting a war with humans. Despite what Fords Deep Waters thought. I was fighting for Sings Upwards. For him. For my partner.