DISCLAIMAH: Me no ownie Thir13en Ghosts, Disney or the song ;P
NOTE: Ok, the song is Listen With Your Heart from Disney's Pocahontas. Tis a good song. And his was kinda written for my firend Deb. Oh same deal, you no like lyrics on here, message me and I will send them far away. Ok? Ok.
Listen With Your Heart
Ay ay ay ya, Ay ay ya
I waited patiently for Jean to arrive. I knew she was having trouble calming Billy down in the cube on the other side of her. She and I were going to have a heartfelt conversation about stuff like a mother and her son would.
Yay.
But, no seriously, I actually wanted to have this conversation. It was kind of important. Or so she said. Or so I thought. Or so I knew. Yeah, I knew. Especially because of the topic of this evening's late night talk; Nikki Rafkin. Yep, that girl, the one who's Dennis's little sister. The one who lives in this house and visits us every day. The one who is a friend of that awful Joey boy. Joey; the one who is the son of the bitch that locked us up in here again. Yeah him.
I know Nikki would let us out if she could. I know she'll figure out a way to get us out. I appreciate that. Until then she wanders down here and talks to us. Well those of us that are here. So far that's Billy, Jimmy, Susan, Jean and me. I remember the time I first saw her.
She had come downstairs with regular out glasses perched on her nose. Her short hair was messy as if she had just gotten up. She was wearing a teal tank top and light blue pajama pants that were too big for her. Basically I think she had just woken up. Now I didn't expect her to be able to see us, but I guess her regular glasses had some ecto-whatever it is glass in them too or something, cause she could. Which shocked me.
That was my first night back in this god-awful glass prison and as is to be expected, I was royally pissed. As soon as I realized that this girl could see us and hear us, which was odd since she didn't have any electronic recording devices or anything, I set out to scare her.
As she walked by I let lose a growl and slammed by baseball bat against the glass near her head and when it hit there was a resounding crack. At the sound, she didn't scream which surprised me but she turned to me with an odd expression on her face. I growled again and leaned forward menacingly, making sure that she could see the road rash on the side of my face and was slightly confused as to why she wasn't scared.
The girl just looked at me with her brown eyes and smiled a little shaking her head.
"Who are you?" Nikki asked. I refused to answer, I only growled again, still stubbornly believing I would be able to scare her.
"Ok, fine, don't tell me. I was only asking, jeeze, no reason to be so touchy!" she said raising her arms up in a surrendering position. I couldn't help it, I laughed. She smiled.
"Now that's more like it," she said. "What's your name?"
"Just tell her!" came a familiar voice and I glanced at the cube that was to my left. I then noticed for the first time that Jimmy was there.
"Torso?" I asked, never quite knowing him well enough to use his first name often.
"Yeah it's me," Jimmy said, cradling his head in his lap. "Just tell her. She's cool." I grunted.
"Tell me yours and I'll tell you mine," she said comically with a hopeful smile. For some reason, I couldn't help myself. I answered her.
"I'm the Prince." I grunted. "The Torn Prince."
She looked at me and smiled a genuine smile.
"No," Nikki said. "That's what they call you. I want to know who you are."
I was genuinely confused and touched at the same time. That was the first time in a long time that anyone actually wanted to know my name. For a moment I forgot that I was dead and she was living and smiled at her.
"Royce," I said looking at her.
"Royce," she said matter-of-factly. "I like it! So does Royce have a last name?"
Seeing no harm in answering her this time, I did.
"Clayton," I admitted.
"Well Mr. Clayton, I'm Nikki," she grinned. That was the first time I actually saw her. She wasn't perfect, but she was attractive. Her short brown hair had faded platinum blond bangs that were growing out but it suited her well. Her black-framed glasses complimented her brown eyes. She was a little chubby, but it actually suited her well. And my god was she stacked. I smiled as I realized that I was checking her out.
"So does Nikki have a last name?" I smirked, echoing her question on purpose.
Nikki smiled and opened her mouth to answer.
"RAFKIN!" a shrill, snotty voice that I recognized as belonging to the bitch that threw me in here again interrupted her. "GET IN HERE NOW!"
Nikki winced and looked at me apologetically.
"Well my last name's Rafkin and I better get going. Bye," she hurried off, shooting me a smile over her shoulder and waving at Jimmy and three other people before she left. That was when I realized two things. One was that Billy, Jean and Susan were also in here with Jimmy and me. Two was that I was actually quite attracted to this living girl.
That was about three weeks ago. Since then I have been feeling weird feelings and I dunno why. I'm fine and happy one moment when Nikki's there and angry the next for some reason. And I'm worried about her too; she'll come down here with these bruises and cuts that weren't there the day before. Why the hell am I worried about her? I have connections to no one, especially not a living person. And Joey, my god, I hate Joey, and there's this other negative feeling there too but I don't know what… or why. That's why I'm talking to Jean tonight.
Also since then Dana, Isabella, Margaret and Harold have joined us. Nikki's befriended them too. It's amazing how easily she gets along with us dead folk. She's also not scared of us. Which is weird. Thankfully Joey is pretty damn antsy around us though. Heh, loser.
"Royce?" a soft female voice broke my reverie. It was Jean. It was too kind and motherly for any of the other women but Margaret and Margaret was to far away for me to hear such a soft voice.
"Jean," I smiled putting out my smoke and turning to face her. She was in the cube on my right. Our conversation of great importance was soon to follow. I was sure of it.
Que que na-to-ra, You will understand, Listen with your heart, You will understand
"You shouldn't smoke," the older woman advised.
"Jean, you're forgetting. I'm already dead, so it don't matter," I chuckled and scooted around my car so I could go sit on the floor by her, on my side of the glass that separated us. She laughed too.
"You're right, it can't do much more harm, can it?" she stopped smiling and looked sad for a moment. "But it's still not right for a seventeen-year-old to be smoking, no matter how long he's been dead."
"Hey," I said trying to cheer her up. "Don't worry doll face, I'll stop. If you want then I'll cut back."
"Thank you," Jean smiled. There was beat of comfortable silence between us as I slumped down on the ground, leaning against the back wall of my cube. Jean sat down cross-legged on her side of the glass.
"So you finally got Billy to sleep then huh?" I asked.
"Yes," Jean said. "It took a while. The boy demanded he see Nikki. He said it was weird that we only saw her once today and that something bad happened to her. I finally convinced him that nothing bad happened to her, otherwise we'd have known. It's amazing how much everyone down here cares about her."
"Yeah," I admitted. It was also weird that everyone thought we were evil and must be destroyed or otherwise used to gain something. I mean most of us may be bloodthirsty once in a while but it's not our fault, it's in our nature. We did die violent deaths after all. We're an ok group.
"You care about her," Jean said looking at me, once again interrupting my thoughts. But that's ok; we were here to talk after all.
"Yeah," I admitted. "And so do you."
"No, Royce," Jean said looking at me with deep brown, motherly eyes. "You care for her."
"Well, yeah," I said, not quite catching her meaning.
"Royce, when you think about Nikki, how do you feel?" Jean asked.
I paused and thought. I thought of Nikki and felt…. Happy…. And nervous… and something else that I just didn't know what it was.
"Well," I began. "I feel happy, and nervous and something else, but I don't know what it is. And I know that it's not horny-ness, so don't worry… although she is pretty cute…"
Jean smiled at me, as if my choice of words didn't faze her.
"Is there anything else?" Jean asked.
"Well there's Joey," I began.
"Hm," Jean smiled. "What about Joey?"
"I hate him. With a passion. And I want to kill him. And this goes beyond the normal bloodthirsty slaughter the nearest victim kind of wanting to kill. I actually want to kill him. Not a human being in general, but him." I explained.
Jean thought for a moment.
"When do you want to kill him? All the time, or in general?" she questioned.
"In general," I answered then I thought. I then added. "But I want to kill him more when he's with Nikki."
Jean looked at me.
"I think I don't trust him." I concluded
"Hm, distrust." She started. "Is there anything else?"
I thought.
"There is, but I dunno what that is either."
"Hm," Jean smiled knowingly at me.
"What?" I asked.
"You will know in time."
"What's going on?"
"In time."
"Come on Jean, this isn't funny. Tell me what you know."
Jean stood up and looked down on me and smiled at me the way a mother would. I stood up too; ready to pester her some more.
"I will tell you this though." She said.
"What?" I asked, desperate for the answer.
"Listen with your heart, then you will understand." She stated.
"Hm, good, great," I started then voiced what I was really thinking. "What?"
Jean simply smiled at me.
"Good-night Royce," she said and retreated to the spot of the cube in which she would sleep. Although we don't really sleep, it's more of a regenerative thing or something.
No matter how much I bugged her, she wouldn't budge from her simple advice.
Listen with your heart and you will understand. What the fuck did that mean?
Let it break upon you, Like a wave upon the sand, Listen with your heart, You will understand
I thought about that advice all night, it kept me up. I still couldn't make heads or tails of it. I retreated to the front seat of my poor little baby and sat there pretty much all day, trying to figure it out. The others thought I was in a mood or something.
I still figure it out by the time late afternoon rolled around. I could tell the time mostly because Nikki had left a clock down here for us when Jean asked for one. I never did figure out why Jean wanted a clock, but she did. Weird.
It was then that I realized that Nikki hadn't been down to visit us yet, and it was well into the day. I was getting worried when I heard a familiar voice call down the stairs.
"Incoming!" the girl called out as she jumped down the entire flight of stairs. As she hit the ground she tucked in her knees and rolled. She then rolled into a gunslingers position, one knee on the floor and holding her hands together in a makeshift gun. She pointed her fingers at Billy and 'shot' at him. Billy 'shot' back while laughing. I knew that Nikki had hit and 'killed' Billy, and everyone else knew, and I was pretty sure Nikki herself knew, but she still stood up and clutched at her heart.
"Oh you got me!" she called out, and staggered around for a bit making comical dying sounds.
"What a world! What a worrrrrllllllddddd!!" she sputtered out then slumped to the ground and stayed there 'dead' for a rather long amount of time. Billy began to get worried that he might have some mysterious ghost power and actually killed her and he called out her name.
Even I was becoming slightly uncomfortable with the lovely girl lying on the floor like that utterly unmoving. I couldn't see her breathing, but then again I was too far away to actually tell. I was at the end of the hall you know, like directly the end of the hall.
"Doll face," I started. "You OK down there?" She still didn't answer. I was about to call again when she jumped up.
"Ta da!" she threw up her arms and Billy grinned, clapping.
"Thank you! Thank you!" she called out. "I'm here all week," she then bowed dramatically and a bunch of us giggled. She then began her process of walking down the hall and talking to everyone for a bit. I would be last, but I knew it would be worth it.
I watched her go through her actions and I thought hard about what it was Jean said to me.
Listen with your heart and you will understand.
I mulled it over.
Listen with your heart and you will understand.
I watched her some more. Actually admiring would be a better word for it. I watched her hair bounce and swish and tickle the nape of her neck. I watched her face light up with laughter as Dana said something funny. I watched the way she moved. The way her long brown skirt swished around her ankles and reminded me of a gypsy's skirt.
As I was watching her, I realized something.
I had just listened with my heart. And it told me something.
I realized what that third emotion was that I felt when I thought about Nikki. That third emotion was… love?
What the hell? But it was true, and even I knew it was. I loved Nikki. The way she walked, the way she talked, and the way she was imperfect and was mostly ok with that. The way she'd do things. Just her. I just loved her. I was in love with Nikki Rafkin.
I was happy and filled with wondrous possibilities when I realized two things. One, I was dead. Two, she was not. This was just awful. I was in love with a girl that I could never have. I couldn't even tell her how I felt. Nothing could happen. I felt like dying. Again.
How could this happen to me? She can't love me back. I shouldn't even love her! This is impossible! I wanted to kill something. More specifically something with dark hair and gray eyes that goes by the name of Joey Lauder.
I was fuming. Utterly pissed off with everything and anything. I was going into a rage. One of the dangerous ones. The ones where I become violent. This could not be happening.
"Royce?" a familiar, lovely, voice that was far from perfect but was perfect to me said. "Are you ok?"
It was Nikki, she had finally reached me in her journey down the corridor. This couldn't be happening. I was about to fly off the handle and she was still here, standing at the glass before my cube. I turned to face her to warn her away but when I looked at her I felt… calm…
I had calmed down almost instantly and I caught a knowing glance that Jean tossed my way. She knew I finally understood.
"Royce?" Nikki asked again, worriedly. She was worried about me. I smiled.
"I'm fine Nikki," I answered. She smiled with relief.
"Oh good," she said.
We talked for a bit about nothing in particular. She complimented my car; I complimented her skirt. She admired my baseball bat; I admired her glasses, which are really cool by the way…
We continued to talk and I was enjoying every minute of it. I hoped it would never end. That's when I noticed it. Nikki was wearing an odd amount of make-up and I noticed it before. But now that she was closer and I could tell. Nikki had a nice shiner around her right eye and a bruise on her cheek below it. She did a very good job at covering it up, but I was extra observant, as she was the girl I was in love with.
"Nikki," I breathed, not tearing my eyes off the right side of her face.
"What?" she asked then a look of horror crossed her face as she realized where my eyes were. She brought a hand up and covered that side of her face.
"What happened?" I asked gently, placing my fingers on the glass close to where her face was.
"Nothing," she insisted.
"What happened?" I repeated. She sighed and took her hand down. By covering her face with her hand she accidentally wiped away a very minute amount of cover up and eye shadow and the bruises became slightly more visible.
"Cecilia's henchmen." Nikki spat. It was then that I realized that she was as much a prisoner here as us. I felt horrible.
"Why did they…" I trailed off.
"I'm a revolutionist you know." She spat out in a mock of Cecilia. "You must stop filling Joseph's head with radical ideas my dear. You are in no way capable of ever releasing those god-awful spirits from here."
We all watched in amazement at the passion that the girl showed us at this. Her voice returned to normal.
"Well I will find a way to get you all out! I will! I don't know how, but I will. Cecilia can go fuck herself!" Nikki blurted out then took some calming breaths and realized that she had just showed her passion at wishing to free us.
"Oh," she whispered. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."
I don't know which one of us did it first, but soon all of us; Jean, Billy, Jimmy, Susan, Dana, Isabella, Harold, Margaret and myself were all clapping.
"Oh, uh, thanks guys," she said, looking at us shyly. I wished more at that moment than any other so far that I was out of my cube. If I was the first thing I would have done was kiss her.
That was when the basements happy moment was interrupted.
"Nikki?" a male voice said as it approached from down the stairs.
"Joey?" Nikki called back turning away from me. I wished she hadn't.
"Nikki," Joey smiled, walking up to us. He was smitten by her. You could tell. Amateur.
"Hi Joey, what are you doing here?" Nikki asked.
"We uh," he started, glancing nervously at all us dead folk. "We're wanted upstairs."
"Oh," Nikki looked disappointed. "Ok."
She turned back to me, her face showing disappointment and was apologetic.
"Sorry Royce," she said. "I gotta go."
I looked down at her.
"It's all right," I said.
Nikki said good-bye to us all and then turned to Joey.
"Ok Joey, let's go." She said. Joey nodded and glanced around nervously. I smirked and got an idea. I growled and slammed my baseball bat against the glass hard. There was a resounding crack and Joey jumped.
"Jesus Christ!" Joey cried out. He glared at me then turned back to Nikki. "I think he's dangerous."
"Who?" Nikki asked glancing around. She looked back at me and smiled. "Royce?"
"Yeah," Joey said and led her away.
"Naw," Nikki insisted. "Royce wouldn't hurt a fly. Well unless he had a reason too. Or he flew into one of his rages… Which would be the equivalent of having a reason to…" she trailed off and I watched her retreating back. I smiled at her then glanced at Joey and anger flared up in me.
I thought again of what Jean said.
Listen with your heart and you will understand.
As I glared at Joey, I finally realized what the third emotion I felt when looking at him was. It was jealousy. I was jealous of Joey Lauder. Imagine that.
I also knew why I was jealous. I was jealous because he liked Nikki too. I was jealous because he got to spend more time with her. But most of all I was jealous that he was alive. He was alive. He could have Nikki. I couldn't. Besides who would fall in love with an ugly dead thing like me?
I sighed and turned to my car. As I did I glanced Jean and she smiled at me. She knew that I had figured it out. I nodded at her and she nodded at me. I then opened the door to the back seat of my pretty little baby and crawled inside and lay down. I hadn't rested much the night before, so I should now. I lay on my back and stared at the roof. I only directly thought one thing as I lay there before sleep came.
I had listened with my heart, and I had understood.
You will understand ...