Stupidity comes with a price
A/N Like it says, stupidity comes with a price…reading this! WARNING may cause loss of brain cells!!! ( If you really like all the HP characters I suggest you don't read this, it may be offensive) all characters are J.K Rowling. the text they are in is mine and the changes of characteristics are mine. many thanks to Brittanii ( ) for coming up with half to 3/4 of them. thanks Britt ;) you're a great friend.
80 things that Harry is forbidden/not allowed to do:
Being Harry I am unallowed to:
1). Serenate Lupin with "Blue Moon."
2). Or McGonagall with "What's new Pussycat."
3). I mustn't play with my wand in public, no matter how tempting.
4). I mustn't write about (or let anyone else write about) me doing so.
5). I will not compare wand sizes with Ron in public.
6). I mustn't round up Snape and Draco and get them to sing 'Three little girls from school' with me.
7). 'The Pink Prissy one' shall never be my name.
8). Ever.
9). NEVER EVER.
10). I will not write secret notes to Voldemort, Snape or Draco...no matter how important or giggle worthy.
11). I will not sing 'sex bomb' when ever a teacher or Dumbledore walks past.
12). I will not call Dumbledore 'gandoff'.
13). I will not charge into war against Voldemort naked not matter how much I know he wants me to.
14). I will not ask Dumbledore if he knew Jesus no mater how old he may be.
15). I will not steal Dumbledore's pensive to see if he was a dirty pervert.
16). I will not ask Dumbledore about the creation of the world...even if he was alive then too...
17). I will not ask him if he was alive when the dinosaurs where around and how he survived the comet no mater how interesting the conversation may be…
18). I will completely ignore the mirror that Sirius gave me until half way into the sixth book.
19). I will not refer to Sirius as lupins bitch nor vis versa.
20). I will not tell the fan girls that I'm gay.
21). even if it gets rid of them, as it causes fan boys to swarm.
22). I will not laugh at how accurate the slashy fan fics are.
23). I will not loudly explain my wet dreams in great detail in the great hall while everyone is eating.
24). I will not giggle every time someone says wand, and says how long theirs is...especially the girls...
25). I will not change the d to g in wand whenever my teacher is talking…or go thought the books in the library and scribble out the d and change it to g.
26). I will not serenate Dumbledore with 'forever young'
27). I will not fly around the Hall on my broom, and dive-bomb people...
28). I will not show people my 101 ways to use a broom stick in a way that's not quidittch.
29). or has nothing to do with quidittch…or flying
30). I will not order people to show me their wangs...I mean wands...
31). I will not show people my sketches of naked Voldy, Draco and Snape...
32). I will not give Ron makeup for Christmas nor will I give Hermione condoms.
33). I will not tell the whole school that Voldemort is my father.
34). or even that he is related to me.
35). I will keep my collection of Asian Porn to myself... Calling on Cho here...
36). I won't send Snape anonymous presents of shampoo and conditioner...
37). I will not attack Voldy with 'Super Orphan Power'
38). I will not use the line: if you were homework I'd be doing you on the table.
39). I will not do a freezing Hex on Ginny...no matter what the pleasurable outcome...
40). I will not ask Ron to show me his bludgers and broom stick.
41). I will not turn Malfoy into a ferret so he can run in my pants panicking while I am enjoying it.
42). I will not - in fact - turn anyone into a ferret so they can run in my pants.
43). I will not pash everything that comes past me. Not even if it would make for a nice slashy-picture.
44). I will not ask lupin how his stroll was last night if it was a full moon.
45). I will not make a voodoo doll of Draco, and a voodoo doll of Snape. I will also not make the voodoo dolls wrestle in honey...
46). I will not make the Snape and Draco voodoo dolls do anything sexual or sexual like.
47). I will not make a voodoo doll of myself, and make it join them in their 'discovery'
48). or one of Voldemort to also join them in the discovery/expedition.
49). I will not suck lollipops seductively in front of teachers...
50). I will not tell McGonagall that she takes herself to seriously.
51). or ask her if she would like me to take the stick out of her arse.
52). I will not cling onto fan girls. Because it will not 'give them a taste of their own medicine'.
53). I will not tell Voldemort I love him and cling to him.
54). I will not say tell Voldemort that he should wear more pastels.
55). I will not tell Voldemort to get a facial.
56). I will not hex Draco, Voldemort and Snape to sing 'Three little girls from school'
57). I will not become emo and dress in black saying how depressing my life is.
58). I will not tell McGonagall she needs to get laid.
59). I will not tell the entire school that I am, in fact an cute little fluffy evil bunny.
60). I will not send Snape shampoo for valentines day.
61). Or chocolate scented shampoo for Easter.
62). Or say loudly when ever Snape walks past: oh is that where my cooking fat/oil went?
63). I will not sneak up on Ron, or Draco or anyone else, and give them a pouncy-hug in greeting.
64). I will not try to hit on Draco by 'accidentally' flying into him during a quiddich game.
65). I will not ask Dumbledore if his beard is fake and attempt to pull it off.
66). I will not ask Dumbledore if he wears a toupee.
67). I will not tell Dumbledore to get into the fashion.
68). I will not run up to Dumbledore, sit on his lap and tell him what I want for Christmas.
69). I will not tear out Dumbledore's beard, and tell everyone he isn't really Santa
70). I will not enrage people on fan sites by saying that LOTR is better than HP.
71). I will not tell Dumbledore he needs a facelift or anti wrinkle cream.
72). I will not send Dumbledore presents, and pretend they were from McGonagall.
73). I will not tell everyone how enjoyable last nights 'detention' with Snape was…even if it was.
74). I will not bewitch my blow up doll to look like Snape. I mean...I don't have a blow-up doll...
75). I will not giggle when people want to touch my broomstick.
76). ...or when people ask to touch my broomstick.
77). I will not giggle when people want to ride my broomstick.
78). I will not giggle when people tell me to give my wand a wave, to see if it works...
79). I will not slap every person that stares at me. Because then the whole school would have a red cheek...face cheek of course...
80). I will not make a service out of my broom stick.
A/N Hope you like it. and please don't get offended, it was meant as humor ok? and anyway - you're the one that read it after all my warnings. :)
oh, and 80 thing voldie is forbidden/not allowed to do is coming as soon as this gets up :)