Run!
Disclaimer: Yes, Joss still owns them, and anyone saying otherwise is just a big fat poopy head.
Author's Note: Well, yet another installment, segment, sequel or just plain act of craziness concerning Faith in the time before she met Buffy. If you are reading this, you should have first read 1) Fade to black 2) Providence 3) Chosen 4) Ashes and then this one, Run!( Ok, shameless plugging, but hey, it'll make more sense to you). Anyway, thanks for reading, hope you're enjoying it so far, and that I don't get killed by the various agricultural products thrown at me(for fun, or as criticism). Read, review. Let me know you hate it, love it, god, what a bore that was, etc. Thanks again.
The last scene below is borrowed from the transcript( I changed the order a little, and some of the words). So, just so the original writers get the proper credit for it.
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RUN!
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RUN!
That is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning. Run. Keep running, don't get caught. If you do, you die.
You wake up, the sun blasting through your eyelids. Your head feels like it's been used for soccer practice. As the nightmares begin to clear, the one thought that keeps you going comes back to you. Run. Find somewhere new to be. Take what you need, lose the rest. But whatever it takes, move. Because he's after you. If he catches you, you're dead. So, get up, pack, and move. Don't stop, don't think, just go. Now.
You close you're eyes, hoping it's a bad dream. One of the nightmares that plague you. Been plaguing you since the day he came in your life. The day he killed your Watcher. You're tired, so tired. Sometimes you just don't want to run anymore, you just want to stand, fight and die. Whatever. Just so you can rest, you can stop. But you know you can't do that. If you die, he's won. Again. He won by killing her… Ellen Haversham… in front of you. He won by, when you struck him, struck him with a blow that should have split him in half, he was only wounded. He vowed revenge, vowed he would kill you. Slowly, viciously. Torture you for the scar you gave him. So far, you've managed to avoid him, escape from him. But you know you're luck will only last so long. Sooner or later, he'll catch you. You'll have to face him. Will you live, or die? You don't know. You don't want to know. You want to forget it all, find somewhere to be. But you can't
You get up, stand up, and the room starts to spin. You're massively hung over from last night. You're legs feel like rubber, your stomach is turning over and over. The air feels like warm, itchy fuzz. You stumble towards the bathroom , the shower. Hoping it'll make it better, knowing it won't, not really.
You drink to escape, to forget for a little while. The death sentence that follows you around. Drink, drink more. Dance, anything. Have sex, do whatever it takes to stop the thinking, thinking , thinking all the time thinking about it. About Kakistos.
You stand in the shower, the warm water cascading over you. Feeling like a lover's warm kisses caressing your body. Your breath comes out in a guttural sigh, as your muscles respond to the warmth of the water. It feels like being held, and god, you want to be held so badly. You need to be held, to be comforted. To be told it'll be good, all of it will be ok. It's one of the few pleasures you have left, showering. The one time when you can just relax, enjoy the feeling. So little, it's become so little. Any tiny bit is precious to you. You feel the hot tears on your cheek, taste the saltiness of them as your emotions, so held in check most of the time, break through. The pain returns, the scene returns, and you feel helpless. Why? Why do I have to live this, again and again and again? You try to stop it, you try to bottle them back up, shove them deep, but they're too close, they take over. You start to shake and shiver as the water of the shower pours over you.
~~%~~%~~%~~%~~
When did it start? Months ago. Almost a year. Back in Boston. It was so good then, so right. I was coming into my destiny, you think, and all was going so damned good. I shoulda known. I shoulda know that I didn't deserve it, that it was gonna have a price. But I thought maybe once the powers, whatever controls this fucked up world, was givin' me a break. I had a place to live, a place where I was wanted. I ... had someone who looked out for me, cared about me( I thought that, anyway…dumbass me). I didn't have to fight all the time. I was strong, so goddamn strong. For once, my life meant something, I had purpose, and meaning. Even if it was a load, it was good. I … felt happy for the first time since I can remember.
But it all blew up in my face. I found her journals. What she really thought of me, what she wanted from me. I shoulda been smart. I shoulda known that she wouldn't just care about me. I shoulda played it cool. I could still be there, living large. But fuck me, no, I had to go all postal about it. Damn me, I so fucking stupid sometimes. But it hurt, dammit. It hurt to be nothin but a fucking tool. Goddammit, I deserved better. Wasn't I doin' my best? Wasn't I workin' hard enough? Hadn't I been good? What? Why? Why didn't she fucking love me like I loved her?
Stop it , Faith, stop it , stop it, stop it. It's over, gone, poof. You blew it big time. You got all huffy, and fucking walked out. You turned your back on her, on the life, and now your payin' for it. It's your fault, Faith. You let her die. You turned your back on her when she needed ya, and now she's dead, and you might as well have killed her. You coulda been there, you coulda protected her, but ya didn't, did ya? No fucking way. You had your tantrum, and now it's all gone to hell.
You wished her dead, remember Faithy? You said you wanted him to kill her, and he did. It's all your doin', Faith. Even if you could kill him, it'd be your fault. That'll never change. You killed her, and now you gotta live with it.
Shut up! SHUT Up! SHUT UP!! I just.. I just wanted her to love me. I wanted to be loved, dammit. I just wanted someone to love me. I woulda done anything for her. I woulda killed anyone for her, if she loved me, really loved me. Not use me, love me. I …ah fuck me, forget it, it's all crap now. All crap.
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You pull yourself together, and turn off the shower and step out. You dry off; comb your hair; brush your teeth ( God, my mouth feels like glue and wool.). You shake out the tightness, and leave the bathroom. You dressed, thinking about where you're gonna run now. Where you might escape him for a while, hide, try to make some life for yourself.
You're running out of places to run. You have been everywhere, and seems. First you tried to blend into South Boston, get lost. That didn't work, he found you so fast, he nearly caught you. You ran to New York, but that only lasted a couple of weeks. Then south to Florida, but he found you again, hiding Cuban section of Miami. From there, you went west, through Alabama, and Mississippi, and then to Louisiana. For a while, you tried to hide in New Orleans. You love that the French quarter. The noise, the smells; the constant party of this place . The raw sensuality of the place intrigued you. But you weren't to find a home in New Orleans. Kakistos found you there, and you had to run again. You started north, going through Memphis. He found you there. You ran through Kentucky, trying to get lost in the small towns. For awhile that worked, he seemed to lose him in the back hills of Kentucky. But even there, you could sense that he was close. So you ran again up north into Illinois. Finally you landed in Chicago and hoped to lose him in the crowd.
He almost got you in Chicago; you almost died in Chicago. You'd hunted down a nest of vampires. You'd surprised them and the fight was going well. You'd dusted about half the vampire nest, and were starting on the rest of them. It all seemed good, and then he walked in. He brought with him his acolytes and you were surrounded by a large group of vamps. A number of them grabbed you and brought you to him. He looked out at you, his one good high cold with fury. He smiled at you, but his smile chilled your heart. "You've given me much grief little girl .", he snarled, "I've had to follow you from place to place. What you did to me was unforgivable. DO YOU SEE THIS!" He shouted at you, "No one does this to me and lives. I will make you suffer, little one. I will rip your heart out. I will tear your arms off. I will make your death slow and painful." You look to make in his good eye, smirked at him, and replied "Not as slow and painful as your threats ." The vamps grabbing your arms pushed you towards him. They let go of your arms, a mistake. Not giving them time to react, you ran towards Kakistos. You kicked it where it hurts the most. Turning, you started in on the other vamps fighting your way out of the trap. As a long fight, it with a hard fight . But in the end, you managed to get out. Your body was bruised all over, it took you nearly two days to recover. But you survived.
You survived. You can't call it living. After that it was all a blur. Detroit, Milwaukee, Kansas City, Albuquerque; the cities just went by in a flash. Sometimes you stay a day; sometimes you get a week; once or twice you even got a month. But in the end, he followed you. You couldn't stop; you could rest; there is no place for you.
Now you're in Utah. You're running out of places to run. You can feel the desperation building in you. You're tired, you want to stop, and you can't. You wonder if you'll ever be able to stop. You wonder if you'll ever find a place you can stay.
You walk out the door, feeling the sun on your face. The dry heat of the desert feels good. You walk down the street, knowing at least for now that you're safe because, of course, he cannot walk in the sunshine. You're safe, but you're broke, which means you have find some way to get money. Which means you'll have to steal. Again. You want to steal but you have to survive. Want, take, have, you laugh bitterly to yourself. That's all I have left.
You look at the people on the street around you, and your thoughts darken. You wonder what kind of people it takes to allow monsters to roam; to allow murderers to walk the streets; yet the same people would allow you to starve. You can't remember how many people you've saved hunting vampires; too many to count. Yet here you are on the run with no money, no place to go . and nobody cares. So why should you obey their laws? Do their laws even apply to you? You're a warrior, don't you deserve better than this? You hang your head, clench teeth, and clench your fists. You know you'll get nothing, so you'll have to take what you need, what you want.
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" it's a fuckin' a joke. All my life I've had to scrounge for anythin' I got. Nobody ever gave me nothing. So what's this wicked destiny I'm supposed to have? What the fuck good is it anyway? I get to bust my butt, fighting vamps, killing demons and what the fuck do I get? Nothing, nada. I live in crappy motels, have to steal money to eat. My life sucks. It sucks bad. Destiny hah! Curse is more like it!!!"
"So what am I gonna do now? Where do I go now? I gotta big fuckin' vamp chasin' me . All over the country this bastard's been chasing me. Where else am I supposed to go? Am I supposed to keep runnin' in circles? How am I supposed to lose this sucker? Or am I supposed to stop and just let him kill me? I'm so fuckin' tired of running. I don't wanna run no more. But if I don't I'm gonna die. I don't wanna die. Not fuckin fair. It's not fair. I haven't even had a chance to live. When do I get my chance? Is this it God? Am I so fucking bad this is all I get? This is my life? To run? To fight? To DIE? THIS IS MY BIG REWARD? Why do I even bother? Why do I even care?"
"the one person I really thought I could care about, the one person I thought I could love, I watched die before my eyes. And she didn't love me. All she thought of me . all she cared about me, was being her weapon. Her tool. So now what do I do? I don't know. Goddamnit, I don't know."
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But, you do know. You know what you really have to do. Eventually, you're going to have to face Kakistos. You have no choice. Either you face him, or you run. And never stop running. Until he catches you, and kills you. Because you know, if you don't face him, if you keep running he will kill you. He's not getting any weaker but you are. The more you run, the more you hide the worse it gets for you. So you have to stop running. You have to stop; you have to face him.
You find a tree to sit under, the shade cooling your overheat skin. You lean back against the tree, closing your eyes. You tell yourself it's only for a minute. I'll just rest here a minute. But she rests for more than a minute as your exhaustion overtakes you. Your mind falls into a dream.
In your dream . you're in a dark, dark place. You're standing ready your body wanting to fight. You hear him coming. You can't see him, but you can hear him. You can smell him, your slayer sense (even though you don't know what it's or what to call it) tells you he is close. You feel the fear tighten your guts. And then suddenly, a light comes on and you can see him. There is a sword in your hand, and you know you have to fight him. You approach him, circling him, trying to find a weak spot. At that moment, you sense someone else's there. Someone is speaking to you. It's a young voice, a girl's voice, one you've never heard before. Yet somehow, it seems very familiar. You turn, and see a young blonde woman, standing next to you. You almost laugh, because she so small. But she just smiles at you and says "You're not alone". She comes up next to you standing by your side, ready to fight Kakistos. You don't know her. You've never seen her before in your life. But you know, you can sense she has the power. Almost in unison, you raise your swords. A glow seems to surround both of you. your swords come down on it Kakistos. A burst of light and fire consumes him. You hear his scream, and he slowly turns to dust. He's gone. You feel an enormous weight lift off your heart. You turn to the other woman, and walk towards her. She opens her arms, and embraces you. As she holds you, she whispers in your ear "You're not alone, you'll never be alone again". It all fades, and you wake up.
You know it's just a dream, but it's unlike any other dream you've ever had. You're a practical girl. You've had to be practical; your life has given you no choice. You don't believe in voodoo, you don't believe in magic, it's all hooey. But this is different. Somehow for some reason, you know that this is the truth. And in your heart, in that place that wants to believe in magic, you need to believe in this. "I know her ." you say to yourself. "I know her. She's like me, a slayer. But that's not possible. there's only one slayer, and I'm it. I'm the chosen one. How can there be another one?".
You close your eyes and think. You remember what your watcher told you. she told you about another slayer, one that came before you. she drowned, but was revived. "So there is another one, another slayer ." What was her name? What was her name? Something dorky, you seem to recall. Muffy? No, not Muffy. You think again, and then it comes to you. Buffy, that's it, Buffy. Buffy what? Summers, yeah that it. Buffy Summers. Where did she live? California … yeah. But where in California? Aw, crap, this isn't gonna be easy. Sunny something-or-other. Well shit, everything in California is sunny, ain't it? But I'll find it. I gotta.
You push yourself up off from the tree. For the first time in a long time you don't feel so tired. Your breath doesn't burning your lungs, the air doesn't feel so heavy. You look at the sky, it's getting to be late afternoon. You head back to your motel room. Even that sleazy joint with the weirdos and the pervs dozen make you want to her hurl quite so much. Okay, that's a lie, it still makes you wanna hurl. But now, at least, you feel like you got some place to go. You don't know where yet, you don't even know if they'll help you. But it's something, more than you've had for a long time.
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You feel yourself nodding off.
You're really, really tired now. You haven't slept much in the last week or so. You been consumed with the idea of finding the other slayer. After Utah, you headed for L.A. again, he tried to blend in with the scene, trying to find out more about the "slayer". It took time, and a lot of beating up of demons, but you finally got some info on the slayer. She lives in some little town up the coast called Sunnydale. From what you hear, it's a real small town. So maybe finding her won't be so bad.
So you caught a bus up the coast. You close your eyes, letting your mind drift for awhile. You wonder if you haven't made a mistake. After all, she might decide that you're bad news. She might not even want to help you. I mean you got your watcher killed, didn't you? you think maybe you should just lie about that one. Tell them she went on a retreat like she used to talk about. Good faith good, that's the way to start out. Lie to them. But what else am I gonna do? Are they going to believe me that I had nothing to do with my watcher's death? You sigh, and hold your head in your hands. Why the hell doesn't have to be so Goddamn complicated? Why do I have to worry about every little Goddamn thing?
As the bus bumps along the road . you look out the window. The scenery is all dry and sun-blasted. What grass there is brown and dead. It looks like you're going into hell. You come to a small rise, and on the other side all of a sudden it looks green. A smallish town spreads out in front of you, and you pass a sign which says "Welcome to Sunnydale". You look at town and looks like 100 other small towns you've seen. You wonder what so special about this place? For awhile, you just don't care. You lean your head back on the seat, and try to close your eyes until you get to the station.
The first thing you do after getting off the bus is find a place to crash. Asking around, you hear about the Sunnydale Arms. You walk there ; it's not too far from the bus station. It looks like every other sleeves bag motel he stayed in, from Boston to LA. You're beginning to thank that everybody's ugly little sleazy motels have the same fucking architect. No one but some wino could possibly make motels look as bad as these always do. You go to the check-in desk, and it's the same thing with the motel clerks. They gotta have a union, 'cause they all look the same. They all don't shave for at least three days at a time, they smell like they are drinking the cheapest wine possible, and they all are pervs. You sigh, but you figure that this is the best you can afford. You get your key and you walk your room, and open the door. The insides are all the same they look like they were built the 1950s, and nothings been updated since then. Specially the mattresses or the linens. Right now, however, you're so tired . you don't give a crap and you lay down and crash.
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Later that day after you wake up you decide to take a walkabout.
You want to get a lay of the land. Find out what this town is all about. Find out why the slayer lives here, rather than a big city. You just can't figure out why she would live in some little sleepy town like this one. It just doesn't make sense to you.
The first thing you notice wandering around town, is that the people seem to be even less aware of the evil that surrounds them. It's almost like they're trying not to see it. The second thing you notice is that this town has 12 cemeteries. 12 for town this small. That's not only weird; that's downright creepy. The third thing you notice is that there is only one decent club in this town. And it's even not all that great. But is better than nothing. "The Bronze". You walk into the club and notice its full of people and other things. Things you kill. A local band is playing on the stage. You shrug, it's okay, I guess. Seems like this is the watering hole for both the townies and the vamps. Ah well, at least that makes a convenient. You chuckle little to yourself.
You walk over to the bar, and order yourself a beer. The bartender gives you a look like yeah, sure, right. You pull out your fake ID and show it to him. He looks at it, he looks at you and he looks at it again. He rolls his eyes, but a serves you the beer. You look around the bar, and almost drop your beer when you see her. The girl in your dream. She seems to be with some buds, so you play it cool. You don't know her, she don't know you, and right now may be best to stay that way. You turn your back on her and her little group, and decide to enjoy your beer.
A few minutes later, some guy walks up to you. Typical. You turn around to him, and even without your slayer sense, you know what he is. C'mon, he looks like a reject out of Saturday Night Fever. Puh-lease. I mean, a paisley shirt, tight fitting bellbottoms jeans and enough gold chains to choke a horse. Never mind he looks like he's never seen a tan. But hey, I can use a good slay.
The disco king asks you to dance, and you shrug sure why not? You both head to the dance floor, and start to dance. You plaster on a fake smile, while inwardly groaning. God, this guy dances like a spaz. This is gonna be too easy.
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Cordelia and Xander walk up to where Buffy Willow and Oz are sitting.
"Hey, check out Slut-O-Rama and Disco Dave. I mean, what's the last thing he danced to? KC and the Sunshine Band?"
Buffy, Willow and Oz all start to watch the couple dance. There all amused as the Burnett seems to be putting the moves on Disco Dave. Buffy takes a particular interest in the dancing couple. Something is just so not right there. They continue to dance, occasionally touching. Eventually the brunette indicates the back door. The couple moves towards the door.
"I don't think that guy thrives on sunshine ." Buffy says. She gets up, and starts to follow the couple out. The Scoobies, sensing trouble, follow after her. Buffy striding out the backdoor, looks around. "Damn, where'd she go?". She and the other Scoobies look around for her.
Cordelia says, "it's probably nothing . They're probably just making out." They hear the girl making a complaining noise.
"That's not making out, unless I'm doing it wrong ." says Willow. All of them rush to where the girl made the noise.
"Stop struggling! This won't hurt" says the boy. He vamps out and tries to put the bite on the girl. She grabs him by the neck, pushes him away a bit and elbow jabs him in the face. He staggers back and regains his balance as she jumps onto a crate. She does a jumping roundhouse kick to his face, knocking him to the pavement. Buffy arrives. The girl notices her and approaches, smiling.
"It's okay, I got it. You're, uh, Buffy, right?" Faith asks
Buffy is taken aback. Just as she's about to answer, the vampire comes up behind the girl and grabs her by the shoulders. She snaps her head back to head butt him in the face and grabs onto his arm.
"I'm Faith." Faith says.
She twists the vampire around and shoves him into the section of chain link fence. Faith knees him in the gut from behind. The vamp whirls around and tries to backhand punch her, but she easily ducks it. She punches him in the gut and then again in the face. Everyone just watches her fight. Xander follows her moves with jerks of his head. She does a high side kick to the vampire's jaw, grabs onto his shirt and neck and throws him to the ground. The vamp does a no-hand front roll to control his fall while Faith reaches over to Buffy for the stake and jerks it from her hand.
"Can I borrow this?" Faith asks, still smiling.
The vampire uses the momentum of his roll to get back to his feet and runs at Faith, throwing a punch as he comes. She ducks it, hooks her hand on his shoulder, turns him around and pushes him back into the fence. She raises the stake and jams it cleanly into his chest and jerks it back out. The vampire instantly crumbles into ashes. Buffy stares in confused amazement. Faith faces her and hands her back the stake.
Faith: Thanks, B. Couldn't have done it without you.
She just continues walking past them all. Buffy turns to stare after her, unsure how to react.
"I'm gonna go out on a limb and say there's a new Slayer in town." Oz says, mostly to Willow.
And indeed there was. And the rest, as they say, is history.
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Fin.