Snape's Worst Memory

Severus Snape made little effort to listen to the prattle of the 6th year Slytherin prefect accompanying him on an evening patrol. He sighed and supposed he should give her a chance, Rosaleen looked up to him ever since he'd tutored her in potions a couple times upon Slughorn's request. Severus knew he shouldn't be so picky, it wasn't like he had women throwing themselves at him, and Rosaleen did come from a prominent pureblood family… he should be honored really. Except blood status never mattered to him in the slightest, and there was nothing about Rosaleen that thrilled him.

She was a plain girl with limp, mousy hair and only an average student. They also had absolutely nothing in common, which is why listening to her was such a trial for Severus. Rosaleen wanted nothing more then to coast by after Hogwarts on her Daddy's money, and this lack of motivation disgusted Severus.

Severus had those reasons… and the fact that he was still hopelessly in love with his former best friend, Lily Evans. Despite the fact that they had barely spoken in the past two years, ever since the name-calling incident in 5th year, and that he knew he had no chance with her the torch he carried for her would probably never blow out. She was everything he dreamed of. The most intelligent witch of their year, vivacious, temperamental but kind and caring to a fault, with plans to become a Healer someday, and not to mention her stunning beauty that kept him captivated; him and most unfortunately, certain others.

When the thought of James Potter's attentions to Lily crossed his mind, Severus scowled. Even when his friendship with Lily had soured he'd still had the small comfort that Potter also failed to gain any ground with Lily. That is, until lately. Lily wouldn't speak to him anymore, but he still kept an eye on her from afar, and he'd noticed a drastic and unsettling change in the nature of her and Potter's relationship. The callous disdain and incessant refusal she'd treated him with had changed to strained tolerance, and recently, much to Severus' wild chagrin, to something much more. Lily and Potter were rarely apart anymore, often holding hands, and he'd even spotted Potter giving her a kiss on the cheek; obviously they were dating now. What had happened to "arrogant, bullying, toerag?" For the love of Merlin he even saw Lily and Black hanging out quite often, even occasionally without Potter. As much as she'd loathed Potter before, Black was possibly even lower on her list. Severus wished more then ever that he and Lily were on speaking terms so that he could talk some sense into her.

"Severus? Sev?" inquired Rosaleen, interrupting his thoughts in an attempt to regain his attention.

"What? Don't call me that," he snapped.

"Oh, I'm sorry," she replied meekly, afraid she'd annoyed him.

Severus was going to apologize for his rudeness; after all it wasn't her fault he was in such a foul mood, when he heard sounds of muffled conversation from around the corner. He hushed Rosaleen and peered around in time to see two shadowed figures disappear into a classroom. He was prepared to deduct House Points and send them back to bed when he heard something that stopped him in his tracks.

"No! James, not here!"

"It'll be exciting Lily, just this one time."

Thinking quickly, Severus erased Rosaleen's memory and gave her directions back to the Slytherin dormitory. Next he cast a Disillusionment Charm on himself, hoping that and low lighting in the corridor would be enough to conceal him. He couldn't have heard correctly… they couldn't be talking about…

Silently he watched as Potter hoisted Lily up onto a desk and stood in between her open legs. A lump rose in this throat as Potter started kissing Lily fervently, on her mouth, then her neck, and his hands made quick work of removing her black Hogwarts robe.

"James!" gasped Lily quietly. "We can not do this here!"

Severus clung to hope that she wasn't going to give herself to him… it could be possible right? Potter was just trying to get some, but Lily would never…

Potter wasn't out of tricks yet however, he dropped to his knees and placed his hands on Lily's knees. Was he getting down to beg Lily? Perhaps this wasn't so bad, it would be vindicating to see Lily refuse Potter after he begged on his knees.

What he witnessed next however, took his breath away, but not in the good way that Lily usually did. Potter began kissing his way up Lily's thigh, his head disappearing under Lily's skirt. She gasped and opened her legs wider while Potter hooked an arm around her left thigh and snaked his right arm around her waist, pulling her body flush against his face. Although Severus could not see that action going on under Lily's skirt, one would have to be completely daft not to know… the blissful look on Lily's face and the breathy moans she was quietly letting slip spelled it all out.

Lily whimpered with disappointment when Potter began moving out from under her skirt slowly. Severus' jaw dropped, he became aware of what exactly James Potter was doing when his head emerged from underneath Lily's skirt and he was dragging something slowly down Lily's legs with his teeth. That something, he realized, were her panties. How could that sodding, big-headed moron come up with a move like that? Envy and anger raged through him. What he wouldn't give to be standing in James Potter's shoes right now, with Lily's panties between his teeth.

"Well?," he heard Potter inquire, with smarmy arrogance dripping from his voice. Severus could never stand the way James Potter acted, and now more then ever before it made him want to use serious hexes against him. In this moment however, he was completely speechless and rooted to the spot.

"What do you say Lily?"

Severus' heart was crushed all over again when the love of his life, Lily Evans, grabbed James Potter's belt and undid it. It was obvious now that she was going to give herself to Potter, and he could hazard a guess that this wasn't their first time together. He was completely torn between two wildly contradicting emotions, he knew he shouldn't watch, it was creepy, not to mention making him heartsick; but at the same time he simply could not move an inch. While his mind raced and his heart sank things between Lily and Potter pressed forward. He'd removed her blouse entirely, leaving her in her bra and skirt, and his pants were down around his ankles with only his shirttail left to cover him. His arms were wrapped around her, mussing her hair and fondling her breast. Her legs wrapped around his waist and he unmistakably began thrusting into her.

Tears escaped Severus' eyes as he watched his sworn enemy shag the girl he loved with all of his heart.

"Oh James- ah!" moaned Lily.

"Lil, I love you so much."

"Oh I love- I love you too."

That was it, he couldn't take it anymore. Lily's admission of love to James Potter as they shagged was too much for him to take. Before he could prepare himself his stomach turned over and he vomited right in the classroom door. Potter and Lily stopped and looked over to where the noise came from.

"What was that?"

"Who's there?" called Potter furiously.

Severus made a run for it, having been all too familiar with Potter's cruel wrath. Around the corner and halfway down the corridor he fell fantastically – likely a Tripping Jinx, of course Potter was a wonder at silent spellcasting. He scrambled to get back to his feet but was not quick enough to escape the next couple spells: Specialis Revelio to lift his Disillusionment Charm and a Full Body-Bind to keep him immobile.

"Well, well, well," spat James Potter, seething with anger at being interrupted during an amazing impromptu shag with Lily. "Snivellus. Enjoying a show you perv?"

"James, stop it. We were the ones in the wrong, we shouldn't have been… um-."

"Shagging, Snivelly. Lily and I were shagging," gloated James.

Lily glared at him to shut up and he complied.

"We have to let him go. All we can do is ask him to please not tell on us."

"Lily you can't be serious, no way he'll keep it to himself. Forget detention, we could lose our Head status."

Severus' mind raced while they bickered. Certainly Potter would deserve to lose the title of Head Boy he'd undeservedly obtained- yet ANOTHER dream of his that Potter'd taken- but Lily didn't, she'd worked so hard for the respect she had from students and teachers alike, doubly hard since she was a Muggle-born. No, he supposed he wouldn't tell on them… As much as the knowledge and memory of this tryst would eat away at him. He felt the Body-Bind lifted and looked into Lily's pleading, beautiful eyes.

"I won't tell on you Lily," he promised, choosing his words carefully so that Potter would know that though he may benefit from them, the sentiment was not intended for him.

"Oh thank you so much Severus, we know we shouldn't have and we'll never do that in a classroom again-"

"It's fine Lily," he interrupted, not wanting to hear another detail about her and Potter's relationship.

"Wait a second," interjected James. "I'm not exactly thrilled with this."

"What are you talking about James, he is doing us a tremendous favor."

"That may be, however I'm not particularly tickled by the fact that he's now got the memory of us shagging that he can revisit whenever he likes."

"You're dumber then you look Potter if you think any memory involving you is one I'll treasure."

"Oh but surely you'll treasure one of Lily topless won't you? Considering you probably couldn't see my face very well it'd be only too easy to imagine yourself in my place, wouldn't it?" taunted Potter, staring straight into Severus' eyes as though he could draw the fantasy right out of his head. From his position on the floor Severus stared right back, willing his face to be free of any betraying emotions. Leave it to a git like Potter to humiliate him by exposing his fantasies in front of Lily just to rub it in his face that he'd never have her.

"Well for Christ's sake James what on Earth would you propose we do about that?"

James Potter stared calmly and shrewdly at the boy still sitting on the floor before him and raised his wand to Severus Snape's forehead.

"No," said Lily. "You can't do that, it's not fair."

"I've done it before Lil, I can be extremely precise. I won't erase more then I need to."

"I don't feel right about this Ja-"

"Do it," interrupted Severus.

Lily turned back to him, shocked. "You're – you're sure about this?"

"Yes."

James raised his wand back to the Slytherin's forehead. Severus and Lily were locked in an intense gaze.

"For the record, Snape, I am sorry about this," said Potter in the most sincere voice Severus had ever heard him use. He said nothing in return, only continued to stare into Lily's eyes, which were filled with regret.

"Obliviate."

The next day Severus Snape puzzled over what happened to his patrol partner last night, how he got back to the Slytherin dorm, and why Lily Evans kept glancing sadly in his direction.

My first James/Lily story, I'd love to have feedback! Thanks for taking the time to read it.