A/N: First and foremost, I would like to say that we are not crazy. If Ron Weasley and Damon Salvatore existed, we would probably not attempt most of the context of this story. (No promises) This story is a collaboration with my good friend Krystal (_TVD_FFN_NIN_). Again I would like to point out that we are not crazy (okay maybe a little) we are just overly creative. Read/review/enjoy!

The Kidnapping of Ronald Weasley

This was the longest block in the history of blocks. Half a mile my arse. My future was in a diner stuffing his face and only a block away. I reached into my pocket to make sure my precious love potion was still there. I had worked way too hard to lose it now. It was as difficult for a muggle to get a hold of potion as it was for a camel to walk through the eye of a needle, but I had done it.

I was now standing in front of the Pumpkin Slap Café. I stepped in and scoped the area. My eyes were looking for one certain red-head. To my great relief, Ronald Weasley was still waiting for his food. I crossed the room, went through the "employees only" door, and entered the kitchen. I was hoping it would be empty which, now that I think about, was a stupid thing to plan on. Right in front of me was a middle-aged blonde woman, leaning over the counter. I decided to back out before she saw me.

"Who are you?" Busted.

"I work here." Oh very clever Rose.

"No you don't! Get the hell out of my kitchen!"

I panicked. I grabbed the first thing within my reach, a frying pan, and hit her across the head with it. She was out cold. Now what? I quickly surveyed the room, looking for somewhere to hide her. After little consideration, I stuffed her in the giant freezer. Okay, now on to Ron.

"Is the Weasley order ready yet?" I spun around as fast as I could. Standing behind me was a very angry looking waitress. Thank God I had locked the freezer already.

"Yeah it's ready, I think." I looked around the kitchen and spotted the plate of food I assumed was for Ron.

"Are you the new girl?" Okay. You can do this.

"Yup, that's me." Good work.

"Well then would you mind hurrying the hell up? We have some hungry people out there. Now just give me the order so I can be on my way."

"No!" Oh crap. She's giving me a look. Make something up, quick! "I'll take it to him."

"Suit yourself. I'm taking five." Okay she's gone.

I made my way over to the plate of food on the counter. I quickly potioned it and left the kitchen. It was unbelievably hard not to run over to him. He is so sexy. I just want to wrap him up and put him in my pocket. Soon, very soon, he would be all mine.

"Here you are sir."

"Thank you." Good he's eating. "That'll be all." Right. Walk away slowly. It won't be long until…

"Hey wait!" Bingo. "I love you." Wow. I've been waiting my entire life to hear that. Oh my Merlin, he's going to kiss me. Wait, what if I'm a bad kisser? Our lips are about to touch.

"Oh my God!" That had to be the most bloodcurdling scream I'd ever heard, and it was coming loud and proud from the kitchen.

"Come on. We have to leave."

"But I haven't finished eating yet."

"But I really want to go." Sound as desperate as possible. We need to get out of here before that woman sees me.

"Okay, we'll leave." Good. I took his hand and we promptly went out the door.

"Hey you, new girl!" Busted again.

"Run!" With Ron at my side, we hightailed it the hell out of there. When I looked over my shoulder, I realized that half the café was following us. "Can you apparate?"

"Of course I can love." He called me love!

"Then get us the hell out of here!"

Apparating felt weird. It was like making out with a guy, and then finding out he'd your cousin. You get really dizzy and then feel like you're gonna be sick. I was extremely grateful when my feet touched ground. That was the longest three seconds of my life. But when I remembered who was holding my hand, everything was all better again.

A/N: Next up…..The Kidnapping of Damon Salvatore!