Cog In The Machine

Oh, they were angry alright.

"Tell us Mr. McDonald; What is it you thought you were going to accomplish?"

It was that same voice every time. Even, monotone actually, calm and non-threatening... and more often than not, followed by something terribly painful. Lindsey had managed to get to his knees but standing was too much to think about. He waited for the blow but this time it didn't come. He tried to raise his head- luckily he still had one- but it hurt too much. He coughed and spat out what came up. Tasted like blood but it was too dark to see it. He waited another moment but when nothing happened, he decided that the voice must actually want an answer this time.

"To bring him down." Lindsey said softly. "To destroy him." Raising his eyes, he glared into the darkness. "Why? Why would you put him in charge? You know what he's capable of, that's what the damn failsafe in the basement was for! What's wrong with you!!"

There was a buzzing, soft whispering all around him. "You presume too much Mr. McDonald." The voice said. "You presume to know what is beyond your comprehension. You are but a cog in the machine and not even an important one at that."

"I don't believe that." Lindsey tried again and this time raised his head. " I matter." He coughed again and waited for the room to stop spinning. " I'm important. To you. To Wolfram and Hart's master plan." He grinned defiantly into the darkness. "I matter. And I know it for sure now."

"Do you? What do you base this assumption on?"

Lindsey laughed humorlessly. "I'm still alive! Torture is fun I'm sure, but come on, from your level it's sort of petty. You must want me alive for something."

"For the moment. What happens in the next moment is undecided." The whispering came again. "Interesting. You believe that you are somehow... special? That you have a destiny? If this were true, what is it that you want from us, Mr. McDonald?"

Lindsey started to grin again, but the pain in his jaw turned it into a grimace. "I wanted... want... I WANT what's coming to me. I want what you gave that goddamn vampire!"

"And you believed that by hiding from the Senior Partners and plotting against them, you would find a way to make that a reality? Please explain."

For the first time since he'd been taken by the Senior Partners, Lindsey felt something like hope. Maybe if he could explain to them... "I wasn't plotting against the Senior Partners, I was plotting against Angel."

"The Senior Partners have put the vampire in charge. They have their own agenda for him. Yet you seem to believe that you have a better plan of action." The whispering started again, then receded. "In the past, the Senior Partners have allowed you to betray Wolfram and Hart, have allowed you to walk away from Wolfram and Hart. Did you never wonder why?"

Lindsey swallowed. His brief flash of hope was beginning to look dim again. "Because I'm....special?"

"Because, Mr. McDonald, in both instances you were working with the vampire. In both instances you were helping to guide him, in a small way, toward the Senior Partner's ultimate goal for him."

The meaning of the voice's words hit Lindsey in a way that none of the torture had. "No..." he shook his head, ignoring the dizziness that action caused. "No, I'm the one who deserves Wolfram and Hart! Not HIM!"

The whispering came again.

"Mr. McDonald, if we allowed you to leave this place... what would you do?"

Lindsey was silent. He'd believed that he had a greater purpose to play in this. That his destiny was greater than what anyone had imagined. Greater than his beginnings and upbringing could have hinted at. Greater than being just one of many lawyers in the firm.

Greater than what they saw in Angel.

He'd thought he was so much more. But he'd been a pawn. His only purpose in the grand scheme of things had been to bring Angel closer to HIS purpose. It was too much.

"I'll kill him!" Lindsey shouted, heedless of the torture they had heaped on him already and what further they could do. "Same thing I tried to do before! You hear me? I'll find a way to destroy him!"

The whispering began again. It grew in intensity and Lindsey glared at the darkness, waiting for them to end his existence and ready to face it. Louder and louder the whispering grew until it was a roar.... then it was gone. The voice came back, calm as ever.

"You may go Mr. McDonald."

A doorway of light opened in the darkness and Lindsey suddenly found he had the strength to stand. Bewildered, he started toward the door.

"Mr. McDonald," The voice called after him. "Do not forget the words you've spoken here. The Senior Partners will not."

Lindsey looked back over his shoulder. A feeling of dread settled around him. "A cog in the machine."he muttered before walking through the doorway.