He closed the door gently and turned around; leaning against the wall he shut his eyes and pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose.
It had been a long day. Lissa had been dead less then a month and it seemed as if it had been forever. It had been hard to live without her; it would continue to get harder in the coming months, years, decades. But he would move on, eventually. Just thinking about life without her was harder then admitting that was what he had been doing for the last three weeks.
She had been his world; the popular girl in high school, she had chosen him over the star of the football team. He had spent the first three years of his high school career trying to get her attention, striking up random conversations, carrying her books to class, always being acknowledged with a brief nod or a quiet thank you. Senior year was when she finally started to notice him, really notice him. Pushing his black hair out of his eyes and his memories into the dark corners of his mind, he focused on the last couple of months before the accident. They had been so happy, after buying their own house and even a dog. Planning the future didn't seem important at the moment. They had their whole life ahead of them.
He had left for work early that morning, so he could get home early and take her out to dinner. But around lunchtime he received a call from his brother-in-law. He had been meeting Lissa for lunch at a café down the street but she had never shown up, hadn't even called, and that was unlike her. He told himself not to panic as he called the house and received no answer; maybe she was just running late and was on her way. But that wouldn't explain why she hadn't called, she would have tried to get in contact with him, or her brother. She had to be alright she just had to be. But she wasn't, she was already dead by the time he had left his work to go home. She had been lying alone in the street as she took her last breath. Alone, he hadn't gotten to tell her he loved her one last time, that he couldn't live without her.
He had no idea how he was going to live without her. But he had to move on; he had to be strong for their daughter, as his thoughts took a happier turn toward Willow…his little Willow.
Even though they had been only eighteen and not even married when she was born they loved her with all their hearts. That's what made them want to do better, for her, their beautiful little girl. The little pixie redhead that was staring at him from across the room just now, wondering where her Mommy had gone, and when was she coming back, he hadn't had the heart to tell her that her Mommy wouldn't be coming back. He could barely take care of himself, what made him think that he could take care of a child.
He couldn't and that was it, he didn't want to put her in danger, which was exactly what he was doing if he kept her with him. He wanted her to have a happy life, a wonderful childhood, and that was just something he couldn't give her. He had to make a decision, a good one at that, for her.
He picked up the phone to call his brother-in-law to ask him to come pick Willow up, maybe he and his wife would take Willow. Ira and Shiela had always loved her, they would make excellent parents, and she was still young enough to forget about him…and Lissa, and have a real childhood with real parents.
When Ira finally picked up the conversation was short and to the point.
"Ira? I need your help."
"Anything, anything at all…we are here to help you."
As he explained the situation and his idea he could feel the tension from the other side. E knew Ira didn't like his plan, but he also knew he would follow through…for Lissa.
"Sure, we would be honored to have guardianship of Willow. Just bring her over when you're ready."
And with that they hung up. Getting up to go get Willow packed was one of the hardest things he had ever done. Sending his own daughter away was a horrible thing to do, but he was doing it for her, and that's what he kept telling himself as he packed her suitcases.
On the drive over Willow kept asking him where they were going, and would mommy e there when the arrived. He replied with one word answers and when they finally arrived at the house in Sunnydale, California he was more than ready to go and drown himself in a drink. As he passed a sleeping Willow over to Ira he told him straightforward what he wanted.
He didn't want Willow to know about him, or Lissa. But if she still wanted to know on her eighteenth birthday then they could tell her. Only the basics though, and that he was only doing what he thought was best for her, because he loved her so much.
Then he turned around and waked away. Maybe one day he would see her again, maybe one day they just might get to be a family again. But for right now he was on his own. And Harry Potter didn't mind it one bit.