It had been three weeks since Rosemary and Lee's wedding. Elizabeth was struggling to sleep at night. She would get a few hours but her dreams kept her awake. She would always be dreaming of Jack and she would always lose him, every time. He was always dead when she found him in the river.

This particular night, she gave up and decided to stay awake after the same dream haunted her three times. She came downstairs, started the water for tea and sat down at the table. She thought about Jack as she waited for her tea. She loved him very much and knew he loved her too, but they had not spoken of the day he was hurt and when he was sick and she was deeply affected by it. It was starting to effect their relationship, causing her to snip at him or just push him away.

He seemed to be the same as before the accident. He worked just as hard and just as much. He was just as kind and loving and treated her just as thoughtfully as he always had. She had not spoken of her dreams to anyone but Abigail. Abigail urged her to tell Jack, knowing he would help her through it, but Elizabeth didn't want to worry him after what he had been through and so she dealt with it alone, even though dealing with it, was not what she was doing.

Jack was getting up for the day to do rounds. He wanted to go early so he could stop by Elizabeth's house and speak with her. He was starting to get very concerned about her. She was acting different lately. She was short with him and he felt as though she was trying to push them apart. She would look away when he looked at her and she had large, dark circles under her eyes and cried easily. He needed to find out what was wrong because he missed his Elizabeth, the warm, caring, compassionate woman he fell in love with so long ago. He needed her more than he needed breath. She was his life.

Around eight o'clock that morning, Elizabeth heard a knock on the door. She looked down at her robe and tied it shut around her slim waist. She put her hair behind her ears and opened the door.

"Elizabeth? Are you ok? You look like you've been crying."

"Jack. It's early. Why are you here?" She looked past him instead of at him.

"I wanted to talk to you. Can I come in?"

She stepped aside, letting him enter her home. She used to light up when she would see him. He missed seeing her smile.

He walked in and looked around. The normally clean home he was used to seeing, was cluttered and unkept. He looked at her face closely, seeing the now ever-present dark circles, the tear stains on her cheeks. She was still the most beautiful woman he knew, but something was unsettled in her and he needed to find out what it was.

He walked up close to her and reached for her hand.

"Jack, what did you want to talk about? I really need to get dressed and get to town." She walked to her kitchen and leaned against the counter, her arms folded across her body, closing herself off from him. He walked closer. Before she knew it, he was directly in front of her, his hands gently on her forearms, unfolding them. "Why are you….?"

"Don't push me away, Elizabeth. Tell me what's wrong." He put his hands on her face, gently forcing her to look at him.

"Nothing's wrong." She was fighting the feelings she was having right then. She wanted to collapse into his arms and tell him but her Thatcher stubbornness was winning. She stepped back and started cleaning, so she wouldn't need to look at him.

Jack watched her from his chair at the table, for the next half hour.

"Are you just going to sit there all day and watch me, Constable?" Usually when she called him that, she was teasing, but her tone suggested annoyance.

"Whatever it takes for you to let me in. I'm not going anywhere."

She walked upstairs and dressed and tied her hair back loosely. She looked at herself in the mirror. She looked unhappy and tired. Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen.

"Do you see what I do?" Jack was standing in the doorway.

"Probably not." She tried to pass him in the doorway but he grabbed her arm.

"Hang on." He pulled her to the mirror and stood behind her. "Tell me what you see, Elizabeth."

"Jack, I don't have time for this."

"Make time. Stop being stubborn and answer my question, please."

"I'm not stubborn." He laughed gently.

"You are just as stubborn, if not more so, than I am. There is no use in denying it."

She started to walk away, but he pulled her back, keeping his one hand on her arm and the other around her waist. "What do you see?" he asked again, quietly.

"I see me."

"What about you?"

"I don't know what you want, Jack." She was getting more frustrated by the minute.

"Fine, I will tell you what I see, Elizabeth. I see a beautiful, smart, lovely woman who is hurting. I see the woman that I love more than anything, pushing me away instead of loving me back." He turned her around so they were facing each other. Her eyes held tears, the tears she only cried to herself, lately. They were going to fall any moment if he kept talking. "I love you, Elizabeth. I need you in my life and I feel like I'm losing you. Please talk to me."

The tears were falling and she was powerless to stop them. He wrapped his arms around her and held her. She welcomed him this time, stepping into him, letting herself love him back. She missed him and the way he held her, like she was fragile and could break, always so gentle. "I can't sleep Jack," she blurted. "Every time I try, I just relive that day over and over."

"What day, Elizabeth?"

"The day I found you in the river." She pulled away, turning around, away from him. She wrapped her arms around herself.

"You found me? What do you mean? I thought Frank and Lee found me."

"No, it was me." She shut her eyes, sobbing. She could still see him, as if it was happening right in front of her, down the hill, hanging over that tree in the water, motionless, like he was dead. "Faith told me that if you were out there in the river much longer, you wouldn't have survived."

"Why didn't you tell me?" He put his hands on her shoulders, feeling her shake with emotion.

"I didn't think it mattered."

"It matters to me, Elizabeth."

"When I go to sleep, I always get there too late. You are always dead. Every time. Over and over. I've lost you so many times, it physically hurts me to think about it. I think I know what it feels like to have my heart break."

"Elizabeth, I'm not go…" She turned and looked at him.

"Don't say it, Jack," she interrupted. "You can't promise that. You can't. What I know for sure is that I cannot lose you again. If I do, I won't make it." She walked out of the room and down the stairs to her living room. She sat on her new couch she finally got last week. She had wanted one for a long time, somewhere she and Jack could sit and talk, holding each other, talking about their future. She had ordered it before the flood happened. Now, she didn't want to think about the future, because she didn't know how long she would have him, and without him….

Jack walked downstairs to find her. She was sitting on the couch, crying. He sat down next to her, putting his hand on her back. "Elizabeth, please don't give up. I can't lose you either."

"I can't do this, Jack. Can you please go?"

"You're kicking me out?"

"I need to be by myself."

"You're pushing me away, but it doesn't make any sense. If you do that, you're losing me, aren't you?"

"Jack, I don't know how to do this. I am so lost."

"Let me in, Elizabeth. We can do this together." He took her hand, holding it to his chest. "We need each other." He somehow needed to convince her that she needed him to help her. "I need you."

She looked at him, finally. He was so panicked. She was so scared of living without him, she was driving him away to protect her heart. But what about his heart? What would happen to him if she gave up? She didn't know but she loved him so much she couldn't push them to that point. She felt trapped in the middle.

He looked back at her and leaned closer. "Please don't do this." She nodded, touching his face gently.

"I'm sorry, Jack. I'm so sorry. I don't want you to go." She tilted her face toward his, kissing him, holding her hand on his face, loving him. He kissed her back, not wanting to let go, pulling her closer. She was finally letting him in and he couldn't lose her, he wouldn't. He pulled away, breathless, after a few moments, looking at her. The expression on her face wasn't as confused as it was before. She was relieved.

"Elizabeth, Honey?" She quickly wrapped her arms around him, asking him for comfort. He, of course, held her as she wanted, tightly, but gently, against him, as they reclined on the couch.

Her head was tucked safely against his chest, her arm around his stomach. In her mind, he was where she needed him. She wasn't confused anymore. Now she just wanted him to stay with her forever.

"Jack?" She sat up and looked at him.

"What?"

"I love you."

"I love you too. Are you ok?"

"I don't know, but we still need to talk."

"Ok, well, let's talk."

"I don't know how to start." She sat up completely and tucked her legs underneath herself.

"Just take your time. I'm here to listen. I'm not going anywhere." He took her hand and held it in his lap.

"I guess, first, I want you to know that you mean everything to me, and when I almost lost you, I lost myself, I guess. It's such a strong, intense feeling to love you. It overwhelms me, sometimes." He nodded and kissed her hand. He looked at her, telling her to continue. "I think that's why the dreams of you dying hurt so much. You are a part of me, a part of my heart, and even though I knew you hadn't died, really, it felt so real, because it was what I had always feared would happen. The only thing I could think of to do, was push you away so I couldn't get hurt anymore. Maybe if I didn't love you so much, it wouldn't hurt so much. Instead it hurt me more, and it hurt you and I'm so sorry for that."

"Its ok, I'm ok. I didn't die and you didn't lose me. You won't lose me, even if your dreams say that you will." She looked down at their hands, their fingers gripping each other's, holding tight. "I know, because of my job, that will always be in the back of your mind, but you can't let being afraid push us apart. No one ever knows what will happen to the people we love. We just need to live life making sure we show each other how much we care, so there's never any doubt."

He kissed her cheek and then her lips. "I'm going to love you, forever, Elizabeth." He kissed her again and pulled her close. "Don't forget that, ok?"

"Ask me Jack. Don't wait anymore." He looked into her eyes. He knew what she was talking about and she was tired of waiting and, truth be told, so was he.

"Elizabeth, marry me." She didn't answer, she just kissed him, tears running down her face, mixing with his. He had her answer and he was overjoyed. It wasn't how he had imagined, but it was a perfect moment and neither of them would forget it.

"Yes," she mumbled against his neck as she held on to him. The relief she felt now, was completely overwhelming and she began to feel exhaustion hitting her as a result of all her sleepless nights and the emotion she had been fighting with for so long. She snuggled deeper against him, falling asleep in his arms.

He could hear her breathing slow down and even out, figuring she was falling asleep. He was perfectly willing to hold her as long as it took for her to feel safe and rested. While she was sleeping, he had a lot of time to think. He thought about their future and the family he wanted to have. He thought about how her family might react to their engagement, but also how happy he was that they could finally move forward, no matter what that reaction was. The house he was going to build would be perfect, but they could live here, until it was done.

"Jack?" she jerked as she woke up.

"Shhh. I'm here, go back to sleep. I'm not going anywhere."