Inspiration: They're the Warner Brothers and the Warner Sister Dot! Which 90s kid didn't grow up on this cartoon? And recently I happened to catch a few clips of the cartoon and fell in love with it all over again.
I also happened to read The Middle Warner Sibling's fanfic "Family." A brilliant piece of work, by the way. If you haven't read it then go. NOW!
Anyway, the Warners were always parodying current movies. It's too bad they didn't stick around to parody the sudden surge of musicals we've been getting. I love musicals, I love the Warners. A combination would've been pure awesomeness. So this fic will mostly involve the Warner siblings parodying musicals. Easy enough concept to grasp, wouldn't you say?
Disclaimer: You know the drill! All the characters you know are from Animanics are obviously not mine and I have no claims on them. But any you don't know probably are mine, as are the fantastical situations the characters are placed in; which spring from the dangerous combination of creativity and boredom.
Clarification: Ehhhhhh... chicken chow-meiny. Here's the fic's namey!
The Warners'
Super Special Faboo United States Canada Mexico Panama Comeback Musical,
Now With Extra Cuteness
It was a lovely and peaceful day on the Warner Brother's movie lot, as it had been for as long as anyone could remember. Of course, said loveliness and peacefulness had only come about in the late 90s, but Hollywood executives were not known for their healthy memory.
But back to the point, the Warner movie lot was a place of tranquility, a place for nice and quiet entertainment officials to make nice and quiet shady business deals. Yes, all was wrong with the world. But no one minded, so long as everything was quiet and under control. Black butterflies fluttered in their air, wielding mace in their little butterfly purses. The air was sweet and thick with smog. Burbank was the epitome of the entertainment industry.
But in the center in the lot, stretching up high, shining like a beacon of hope, a testament to days passed, stood the Warner Brothers' water tower. In shone beautifully and faithfully, watching over the peaceful and corrupt lot with its trusty WB logo and its glistening chains. Chains as thick as the smog in the air, for the still, quiet tower held a terrible secret; a secret the studio had tried for years to keep contained, the only threat to their tight network of tranquility and evil.
Inside the water tower rested three siblings of questionable species and sanity. Within the silent metallic recesses of the Warner Brothers water tower, behind the engraved WB door, slumbered the Warner Brothers themselves and their sister Dot.
For you see, unbeknownst to the world, these simple cartoons were more than just figments of a writer's imagination. They had begun as doodles on a pad of paper, as all cartoons do. But the genius animator responsible for the creation of these strange children had manages something amazing. He had brought the Warners to life.
No one knew how he'd done it, and the man had gone completely insane right after, but the studio welcomed the Warner children with greedy eyes.
Throughout the 90s, the studio executives had kept the Warners secret from the world, choosing to film them rather than animate to save money. They told no one of the Warner's true existence, fearing that a competing studio would attempt to hire the Warners, or study them and discover how to breathe life into animations of their own.
And so the Animaniacs cartoon series was born. A quick storyline was invented; a supporting cast was animated to star alongside the living, breathing Warners. The Warners were digitally placed into cartoon scenes after being filmed on a green screen. It was that easy.
True, dealing with the Warner children was not a simple task. So a psychiatrist was hired—and a cartoon caricature of him was animated to star in the show—to deal with the Warners. But despite his best efforts, Dr. Otto Scrachinsniff could not control the zany cartoon siblings. Still, the studio endured the Warners. After all, the Warners were making them rich.
But then something happened that no one had expected. The studio's funding was cut. Soon, the money being generated by Animaniacs cartoons could not compensate for the damage being caused by the Warner siblings. Panic set in, and the CEO at the time, Thaddeus Plotz, decided to take drastic action.
Ironically, the Warners were sealed away in the water tower, just like the premise of the very show they had starred in.
And there they slept, awaiting the day their show would revive and the studio would welcome them once more.
But as the saying goes; good things may come to those who wait, but great things come to those who go out and get 'em!
Of course, this was not Yakko Warner's original intention when he sat up in bed, woken by a thud coming from the kitchen. A brief investigation revealed the source of the sound; Wakko Warner had woken and sat curled up under their sink.
"Wakko…" Yakko sighed, passing a tired hand over his head. "Why aren't you in bed?"
"I'm tired of sleeping!" Wakko protested, his lips in a pout, tongue lolling out of his mouth. "I want to do something."
"And we will, my bottomless sib." Yakko assured his brother, yanking him out of the cabinet with some effort. "We just have to wait until the studio picks our show back up."
"But they're not going to bring back our show! They hate us!" Cried Wakko, stamping his foot stubbornly as he brandished a sheet of paper from his grab-bag.
"What the—?" Yakko read the paper in his brother's hand, no thought to where exactly Wakko had gotten it.
Animaniacs Cancelled! Power Rangers keep #1 spot in children's entertainment!
Yakko chuckled nervously. A part of him knew the truth behind those printed words, but for the sake of his siblings he refused to indulge his doubts. "Oh come on, Wakko! You know how Plotzy is! He's just kidding around."
Wakko raised an eyebrow skeptically and tore off the paper, revealing another page underneath.
Not kidding. Animaniacs never to return.
Yakko's eyes shifted from side to side as he forced out a laugh and a dismissive wave of the hand. "Ha-ha, Wakko! You know as well as I that jokes are always funnier the second time!"
Without batting an eyelash, Wakko tore the page, revealing yet another, reading;
Seriously, the studio hates the Warners and is hereby locking them away forever.
"Ehhhhh, third time's the charm?" Said Yakko, tearing away the page himself to reveal the next one.
The Warners are a menace, and the studio would sooner force its employees to star in a major musical fanfiction before renewing their contracts.
"One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go?" Yakko said in response.
Wakko poised himself to remove the next page, but Yakko grabbed his wrist, stopping him.
"That's enough of that. Seriously, I'm running out of cliché sayings." Yakko yanked the stack of papers out of his brother's grasp and stuffed them all into his slacks for safe-keeping. He'd look through them later, and burn them afterwards.
Wakko gave Yakko a desperate look. He had wanted to believe his older brother, he really had. But with the years passing them by and sign of daylight, it was becoming increasingly harder. Despite being verbally inferior to his quick witted sibling, Wakko was not stupid. He knew when they weren't wanted.
"Wakko…" Yakko's face fell. There was no point in the façade of strength and hope if his siblings didn't believe him. But still, he had to try. "Things'll get better soon. I promise."
"You shouldn't make promises you can't keep." came a sweetly sarcastic voice from the hall.
"Dot." Yakko turned to face the youngest Warner, his adorable little sister. "Shouldn't you be getting your beauty sleep?"
"I think I've had enough beauty sleep for me, AND both of you!" said Dot with a harrumph, adjusting her flower scrunchie which was beginning to droop. "And besides, what's the point of being so painfully cute if there's no one around the appreciate it?!"
"I'm hungry!" cried Wakko.
"I'm bored!" whined Dot.
"C'mon, don't be like this." Said Yakko, trying so very hard to smile as he strained to talk over his siblings' complaints. "Things will get better! Just you wait! Any day now our ticket out of here is going to come right through that door!" Yakko signaled to the water tower door with a dramatic flourish of the wrist.
Rusted hinges and impregnable chains stared back at him.
From another room, a faint gurgling sound could be heard.
"Oh great, the toilet's acting up." Dot glared at Wakko in accusation.
"Hey, don't look at me! I just barely woke up too!" said Wakko.
"Well I know I didn't do it, and seeing as the most obvious candidate around here would be YOU…!" yelled Dot.
"What? Just because I got cast in that Potty Emergency episode, you think I did it?!" Wakko screamed back defensively.
"Well if the tacky red cap fits!" Dot screeched in reply.
Yakko shook his head, covering his ears with his gloved hands to drown out his siblings' argument as he headed over to the bathroom. No one else was going to fix the problem. Only him, always him.
Sometimes he hated being the oldest.
Yakko clambered over to the bathroom, tripping a few times over the various broken toys and discarded candy wrappers left on the floor. Yakko had tried to clean up after his siblings at first, but as the months passed with no word from the studio, he gave up. There didn't seem to be any point.
Yakko tip-toed into the bathroom, careful to avoid the water overflowing from the toilet bowl and onto the floor. Yakko scrunched up his nose in disgust. How had this even happened? They'd all been sleeping for the last few years! Was it possible that this was what had woken Wakko?
In the center of the toilet bowl, bobbing up and down in the current of flooding water, sat a rolled up newspaper.
Yakko raised an eyebrow, wondering how in the world a newspaper had managed to make its way into their toilet. The most likely explanation seemed that one of his siblings had just gotten bored and decided to flush miscellaneous objects down the toilet for entertainment. But Yakko's theory was shot down as he carefully removed the offending newspaper and unrolled it.
The date looked at him clear in the face: December 2004.
Yakko did a double take, then ran down into the kitchen, passed his still arguing siblings, poured himself a glass of water, took a sip, and then did a spit-take.
Wakko and Dot fell silent, turning to their older brother expectantly.
"What is it?" Dot asked in sisterly concern.
"Is that the Don Knott's article I thought I lost?" Wakko asked excitedly.
"No…" Yakko mouthed the words, but nothing seemed to come out. His throat felt dry and brittle, making Yakko wish he hadn't spat out his drink. Clearing his throat, Yakko tired again. "It's even better, sibs." A large grin slowly spread across the oldest Warner sibling's face. "This is our ticket out of here!"
Dot promptly snatched the dripping, yellowed newspaper out of her brother's hands, trying to make out the runny print. "What is? A smudged, soggy newspaper? Where did you even get this?"
"The toilet!" Yakko replied, nearly jumping in joy.
Dot's eyes widened in horror for a moment, and she dropped the newspaper with a squelch. "Eww!"
"Can I eat it?" Wakko said as he snatched up the discarded newspaper and lifted it above his mouth.
Yakko quickly reclaimed the paper, opening it up to the article which had caught his attention. "The date on this newspaper…"
"It's outdated?" said Wakko, noticing the yellowing of the paper.
"No, no, no! I mean, yes, probably! But that's not what matters." Yakko clicked his tongue in irritation. Why was he having so much trouble communicating this? He must be out of practice. "It's from after we were locked away! Somehow, it made its way backwards through the plumbing and into our bathroom!"
"Great, so now we have an exclusive portal through which we can get outdated horoscopes from our backed-up toilet." Dot said sardonically, crossing her arms. "Dees-gusting! Forgive me if I don't share your enthusiasm."
"That's not what's great about it!" Wakko said, bouncing in anticipation. "There must be a reason for not letting me eat it. So what is it? Tell us Yakko!"
"Yeah, and it better be a good one." Said Dot.
"Just look here!" Yakko placed a finger on the smeared article in the movie reviews section.
"A movie review for The Phantom of the Opera?" Wakko scratched his head in confusion. "Why would they make another one of those?"
"Because this one's a musical!" Yakko said triumphantly, bracing himself for his siblings' cries of joys.
Two blank faces stared back at him.
Yeah, he'd probably have to explain.
Sometimes it was a hassle being the oldest.
"Read this line! They mention that this musical Phantom was only one of a handful of new musical which have been cropping up! Look here!" Yakko skipped through the review, or what was still legible of it, citing all the recent movies the critic had referenced. "Moulin Rouge, Chicago, and now Phantom of the Opera! All musicals! It even mentions a Rent movie to be released in 2005, and both a Hairspray and a Dreamgirls movie in pre-production!"
"So?" chimed the younger Warners in unimpressed unison.
"Musicals are making a comeback!" Yakko crumpled the drenched newspaper into a ball and shot it towards the trashcan. It might've made it in too, had Wakko not jumped up and caught the paper wad in his mouth.
"Great news for Bernadette Peters, I'm sure." said Dot, rolling her eyes as Wakko swallowed the newspaper whole.
"Oh, sister sibling of little faith!" said Yakko, standing up on the counter and placing a hand to his heart in a Shakespearian fashion. "Don't you see? Don't you get it? We Warners have always prided ourselves in our witty puns and visual gags! Our biting social commentaries and contemporary pop culture references! But what truly separates us is from other cartoon of our kind is—"
"We're alive!" said Wakko and Dot, jumping up excitedly.
"Yes!" Yakko said in response to their enthusiasm, before realizing that wasn't the answer he had been expecting. "I mean, no. I mean—yes! It is one of the things that separates us from most cartoons of our kind. But the other thing is—"
"Our jabs at the Disney channel?" supplied Dot.
"Our ability to make fun educational, instead of trying to make education fun and failing?" Wakko provided.
"Close!" Yakko said, pointing to Wakko, earning the middle Warner a glare from his sister. "We can actually SING!"
Dot and Wakko stared at their older brother. They stared; Dot opened her mouth to say something but then closed it. They stared; Wakko blinked repeatedly. They stared and they wondered just when Yakko had lost all sense of logic.
"So… this… helps us how?" Dot finally managed.
"Sibs, we finally have something else to offer the studio besides all our crazy antics which they were so on edge about!" Yakko jumped down from the counter and pulled out the papers he had taken from Wakko earlier. He ripped the hateful papers to shreds and threw them into the air, letting them rain down on them like confetti. "We could star in a musical!"
Dot and Wakko's faces brightened, comprehension finally seeming to dawn on them. It was the happiest Yakko had seen them in years, and they hadn't even realized they were happy yet.
Sometimes he loved being the oldest.
"All we have to do is get out of here!" Yakko said thoughtfully.
"And now we can! Through our special toilet portal!" Wakko chimed in, already heading towards the bathroom. A gloved hand caught Wakko's shoulder, stopping him.
"Ehhhh, maybe we should put on some scuba gear or something first. You know, for sanitary reasons." said Yakko with a shrug.
Alright. Don't come after my with the torches and pitchforks! I know this chapter didn't have any musical parodying yet and had a bit too much angst for what it was supposed to be. Sorry, it was the set-up chapter. It had to be done. But the next chappie will have plenty of singing, dancing, and zaniness; all Warner style! I swear it on the new Animaniacs DVDs!
Please review. And try not to be too mean... I know this isn't my best work, but I really was just rushing to get to the musicals... Right guys?
Dot: How much are they paying us for this?
Yakko: Not a cent. It's fanfiction. Just be glad they haven't killed any of us off... yet.
Wakko: I'm tired...
Yakko: Weren't you just complaining about sleeping so much?