After a tiring day whoring themselves out to their guests, the hosts were relaxing in the music room. Kyoya was checking the club's profit online, Honey was eating cake with Mori and Tamaki was sitting in his corner, mourning the loss of Haruhi to the commoner's supermarket where she was ordered to buy more coffee from the twins. Hikaru and Karou were sat legs intertwined with a laptop between them, whispering mischievously.

"Stop moping boss", Hikaru called across the room, "anyway, we have something that might cheer you up"

"What is it?" Tamaki pouted, drawing circles on the ground with his finger.

"Just a video we found online, you'll really like it. In fact, everyone, come over here and watch", the club circled the twins' laptop and Karou pressed play on a video, making it full screen. A melancholy piano tune began to play and Tamaki sighed dramatically.

The scene began and the club saw two women making out passionately.

"Kao-chan, what is this?" Honey asked nervously

"Just keep watching", at this point, the cup was brought out and shit went down. Literally.

"WHAT!?" Mori gasped, covering Honey's eyes

"That's gross!" Honey cried

"That has to be chocolate", Kyoya commented, not as disgusted as the others

"She's- she's…", Tamaki began, frozen to his seat next to the twins

"I'm gonna vomit"

"She's gonna vomit"

"AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

A minute later the video was over and the hosts recovered in their own ways: the Hitachiin's where roaring with laugher, Honey was in the bathroom vomiting while Mori held his hair, Kyoya had returned to his profit checks and Tamaki had become statuary in his seat mumbling incoherently. "Girls… poo… ice cream"

"Will Tama-chan be ok?" Honey asked upon arrival back into the music room, spotting the king still infront of the laptop, white as a sheet.

"Yeah, he's fine", Hikaru replied walking over to Tamaki and shaking him by the shoulders.

"Wow, he's really far gone this time, isn't he?" Karou commented, snorting at the look of fear on his face, "Should we just leave him to it?"

"I think that's for the best", Kyoya said, closing his laptop, "Well, I shall see you all tomorrow"

'What a long queue' thought Haruhi as she walked through the grounds of Ouran Academy, 'I bet they've given up waiting for me and gone home by now'. Haruhi opened the door to the music room, dropping off the coffee on a table when she noticed Tamaki was sat on a couch in the far corner.

"Oh, Senapai, you're still here?" after receiving no reply, Haruhi sighed, walking over to the host king, "Senapai?"

Tamaki's eyes were transfixed onto the screen of the laptop infront of him so Haruhi had a look to see what was so captivating (crabtivating yo). She was greeted by the ending shot of the video and slammed the laptop screen down in disgust which brought Tamaki out of his daze.

"Haruhi!" he cried

"That is disgusting, why were you watching that, you pervert", Haruhi shouted, the image refusing to remove itself from her brain.

"NO! It's not like that, you don't understand! Daddy would never…"

"I thought you were just an S&M pervert and now this too?" Haruhi sighed, and walked to the door, "I'll see you tomorrow, Senpai"

Tamaki expelled a long cry and lowered himself into a foetal position. "Haruhi… thinks… i'm a…. pervert"