Title: I Am Fine…
Author: Alysia
Character(s): A Kim, Rocky and Jason friend fic. There is mention of the other rangers, but nothing more than that.
Summery: Kim decides to visit Rocky while he's laid up in the hospital and reaches out to him.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the familiar characters.
Author's Note: There is mention of rape, nothing too descriptive, but I wanted to give you a head's up. I am a huge Tommy/Kim fan, and because of how things worked ou in the movie, I don't remember much…so I am sure I'm probably taking quite a few liberties.
"Man, this sucks," Rocky DeSantos murmured, propped up in the hospital bed. Because of his accident, he'd been forced to give up his position in the tournament and on the team.
Coming to a stop at the room, Kimberly Hart paused and tried to gather herself. It was going to be the first time she'd come face to face with Rocky since she left. It was going to be the first time since the two talked since she sent that letter to Tommy Oliver. She was more nervous than she wanted to be.
Silently, she coached her nerves and leaned against the door frame. She hoped she looked calm on the outside, because she was a bundle of nerves on the inside. "Yeah, it really does," she agreed. It wasn't difficult to decipher the look on his face, for she had worn the same expression at one time.
"Kim?" Rocky asked, sitting straighter in the bed. He had briefly spoken to Adam earlier, and heard a brief synopsis of what had taken place over the couple of days. He just didn't think that Kim would stop over and see him. "What are you doing here?"
Kim shrugged, moving into the room. "I heard you were laid up and figured you'd be bored out of your mind." It was a partial truth. "How are you holding up?"
A sarcastic smile bit at his mouth. "To tell you the truth, I don't really know." It was a can of worms he hadn't yet opened. "What about you? Adam mentioned you and Jason were turned evil...and then tried to kill the Power Rangers…"
Kim blew out a sigh and claimed the seat next to his bed. "It was…er, I can't believe I did that. I mean I leave and do that awful thing and I planned on coming back here and apologizing to To…everyone and then I turn evil." She stuttered over her words when it came to Tommy. "It was like watching a really bad movie. I was saying and doing these things that I really had no control over."
"I guess it's just another right of passage…" Rocky responded.
Kim offered a thin smile. "It was a passage I could have lived without," she replied. Yes, she couldn't control her actions during that time; and even though she'd never confess it to another soul, she felt relieved that she said some of the things that she did. They were feelings that had been present in her mind for some time.
"Before Billy left, he told me about the times that Tommy was the evil Ranger," the male shared. He wasn't sure what made him mention it, but he had known that Kim was hedging around something. When it came to the team, he offered up plenty of clowning around. It was what he felt was expected of him, even in school, and for the most part; Rocky was okay with that. He didn't mind not having a filter in between his brain and his mouth, but Kim had never sold him 'short' like the others had. She accepted him for the way he portrayed himself, but she knew that he was much more than a joker.
"Oh?" Kim looked away. She remembered those days, the constant worry they had for Tommy, his anger at them…even if it was mostly directed at Jason.
"Billy said that most of the stuff was Rita's doing, but that the spell attached to feelings that were pent up inside…and judging by the look on your face, you already knew that…" he finished lamely. It was an altogether brief moment, but he saw the way her eyes widened and her body had stiffened.
"Yeah…" she cleared her throat. "Tommy certainly didn't have any trouble telling us what was on his mind." It was a most difficult and frustrating situation for her. Even before she'd been formally introduced to him, she seemed to gravitate towards him. She had thought it was a reciprocated feeling, so when he started acting out and saying the things he had, she'd been hurt. He also didn't seem to have any difficulty going after Jason. It wasn't far from the way she'd gone after Kat that day.
"Kim?"
"This is really…awkward," she confessed in a whisper. Their conversation had been somewhat stilted. "I…Jason convinced me to come back here so I could apologize and try and put things right. I really wanted to make things right, and then we were kidnapped before I could do anything. I guess it was an icebreaker, because things weren't nearly as awkward with anyone else,"…save Tommy, she added the last part for herself.
"Why did he have to convince you?" Rocky asked, frowning.
Kim simply arched one eyebrow and looked at him. "Because after I…fucked everything up, Billy was the only one to keep in touch with me. I figured that since he wasn't here any longer that the rest of you would prefer me to stay gone." It was something that had taken her a long time to accept. It had stung in the beginning, but she knew she deserved it.
Rocky had the ability to look guilty after her words. Honestly, he tried not to think about Kimberly. When she sent that letter, it was like a complete disregard for the person she was when she was in Angel Grove. She hadn't just hurt Tommy, she'd hurt all of them. He knew that he hadn't sorted out his feelings concerning Kim. He just naturally took Tommy's side. Tommy was the one that didn't turn his back on him, not to mention, he was the team leader.
"Kim, I…" Before he could say anything else, Kim placed a hand up to his mouth to silence it.
"I'm not saying this to coax an apology out of you," she replied. As much as she appreciated the fact that he was willing to apologize, Kim wanted it to be because he wanted to, not because he felt he had to.
The former Ranger looked at his companion, really looked at her. She had always been the most beautiful person he'd ever known. While she was a very attractive person, it was what was on the inside that sealed the deal for him. Kim had always seemed so carefree, and she never let things get to her. Taking a closer look, he noticed the bags under her eyes. It could have been the past couple days finally catching up to her, but he knew it was more than that. Instead of the confident young woman he'd been used to seeing, she was docile and more withdrawn.
"I…I'm such a mess, Rocky," it came out before she could stop herself.
Rocky frowned. Kim seemed to fold in on herself, and before he knew it, she began sobbing.
"I was such a twit. I gave up everything I had for the idea of something." Yes, Coach had scouted her himself, but life wasn't a basket of peaches in Florida. She was competing against girls who'd had formal training all their lives. Because her talent was so raw, she had to work twice as hard to keep up with them. She didn't mind the extra work and practice, but when she got there, it was like she wasn't nearly as good as she thought she was. It was pure, dumb luck she'd done as well as she had.
"But you got a silver medal…"
"It's just a dumb medal. What can it possibly do for me in the future?" She retorted with a snort. "The girls have just been…horrible." She'd never been disliked so much in her life, and it was difficult being in such close quarters with girls she knew were waiting for her to mess up. They all wore two faces, and she'd never felt so alone in her life.
"What about the guy you left Tommy for?" He always thought that Tommy and Kim were the perfect couple. Even when they were across the room from each other, it was easy to discern the love that had existed between the two. If she had met someone that could surpass that…
"I was duped." A fresh wave of tears flowed out of her. She was so…angry and embarrassed and… "I always liked being around guys more. Guys are just so…uncomplicated. I gravitated towards Lincoln because he was pretty much the only nice person to me…and then I started to get to know him and he was so much like Tommy…"
He watched the way the color drained out of her face. "Kim?"
"He made it seem like he liked me. And he had me convinced that we could be together, but that I had to resolve things with Tommy." Perhaps if she felt more secure in her relationship with Tommy then nothing would have happened… "For the first time in a long time, I felt like I mattered to someone. I would have done anything to keep that feeling. I was on auto pilot when I wrote that load of crap." Tommy's calls had decreased and whenever she tried to call him, she had just missed him. Letters dwindled between them and she felt she had no one else to turn to. "It must have been a week after I sent that letter and Lincoln and I had snuck off to…we kissed for the first time. It was…okay." She really had no experience to compare it to. Tommy had been the first person she'd made out with, but she couldn't deny it was nice to have that physical comfort with Lincoln. "He kept touching me and I constantly had to move his hands away from me. I just wasn't comfortable with what we were doing."
It wasn't hard for him to read between the lines. Rocky was growing increasingly angry and he wanted to tell her to stop. He didn't want to hear what was coming up, but he couldn't. It was obvious that Kim needed to get this off her chest.
"He got so mad at me…and he didn't talk to me for a couple days. I should have known then that he wasn't worth it, but I second guessed myself. I…Tommy and I had never been intimate, and I…I…I wish we had been! It would have been such a nicer memory."
"You and Tommy never…ever?" They'd been together for so long, and the love that they shared was so obvious. He'd just assumed that they were intimate at some point.
Kim smiled sadly. "It was the weekend after that…he had convinced me to go to a friend's party. I'd been uncomfortable with the idea, but I didn't want to disappoint him again, and he promised to take care of me. Once we got there, he went to get me a drink, and I didn't think anything of it." She'd never been one for drinking. "My nerves were wound tight, and he convinced me to drink it quickly, saying it would loosen me up. After I finished my drink I was…my tongue felt heavy and I could barely stand." At the time she just assumed it was because she'd never had hard alcohol before. "I was like a wet noodle. He helped me to one of the bedrooms and insisted I rest. I was so out of it, it wasn't like I could do anything else. There was a weight on top of me, and I tried to fight it off, but I was so weak."
His eyes started to sting with unshed tears. "He raped you?"
"The next morning I was sick as a dog, and he was so mean…like the person I thought he had been was all in my mind. He said I was the worst lay he'd ever had, took me back to my dorm room and then he just cut me out of his life." That was it. "I was made a fool of. He told one of the girls that I was just a challenge for him and then that got around."
Rocky grabbed Kim's hand and used what strength he could to pull her to him. He watched her hesitate for a moment before silently giving up her reservations. He pulled her onto the hospital bed and tucked her into his side.
Kim leaned into his shoulder and began crying when he placed an arm around her shoulders. "I wish there was something I could do to…" he stopped talking. He had no idea what to say to her. All this time, he'd just assumed that she was living it up in Florida, and had actually been upset with her.
Kim turned her body and placed an arm around his stomach, trying to draw whatever comfort she could get from him. Her sobs quieted an she was able to choke through the rest of her story. "I…threw myself into my routines. I was afraid that if it slowed down, I would start crying and never stop. I still couldn't believe I put myself in that situation, and I carried such guilt for giving something up to him that wasn't deserved."
They slipped into an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes, but Rocky couldn't keep it at that. He knew she was dwelling on the memory of it. "Tell me about Jason, how did you guys get together and decide to come here?"
"After giving up his powers for a second time, he was just wandering. He called me up one day and asked if he could come visit…and he never left." Jason had been a godsend. Their connection had always been so strong, and Kim never had to hide who she was or what she was feeling from him. She didn't know how she would have gotten through the last couple months if he hadn't been around.
He knew that the first team of Power Rangers were close, that they had grown up together, but until recently, he didn't realize just how close they were. He had assumed it was to when he, Adam and Aisha joined the team; that they all hung out because they shared a major secret. "Does he know what happened?"
"He doesn't know the details that you do, but yeah…he knows." Other than her shrink, she hadn't told anyone the details of that night. Up until the last month, she'd pulled away from Jason. She had been violated in the worst way, and what made it even worse was, she was supposed to be able to prevent things like that from happening. She had been a Power Ranger, the first pink one. She knew how to fight and defend herself, so when she woke up that next morning; Kim had been horrified.
"Why did you decide to tell me?" It was an honest question. She had been through so much, it was only right that she confide in someone. Rocky just didn't think he deserved to be that person. He had been a terrible friend to her, where as Jason was like a surrogate brother to her. Aside from that, he and Kim had never been terribly close. Sure, they were friends and had hung out together, and they fought side by side, but at the end of the day, he stuck close to Adam, and Kim turned to Tommy and/or Aisha.
"Because I needed to tell someone, someone who actually knows me and isn't paid by the hour to listen to my problems," Kim answered after she had given it careful consideration. "Because you won't look at me any differently," she added as an afterthought.
"And because she knew that I would have hunted down that son of a bitch and killed the fucker," Jason said from the doorway.
After the tournament, they had all gone over to Ernie's to celebrate and catch up. She didn't say anything; but for Jason, words weren't needed. They were often so in tune to what the other was thinking or feeling, he knew that the short while that Kim had been there had put her through an emotional hell. She could hardly pull her gaze up from the table before her, and when she did, her gaze would automatically turn to Tommy.
Tommy, it had seemed, had moved on. He and Katherine Hillard had finally seem to get over that first awkward hump and were now on their way to strengthening their relationship. The way that his best friend treated the blonde was somewhat reminiscent to the way things moved between him and Kim. Jason was happy for his friend. He hadn't been around for the initial shock and uproar that Kim's letter caused, but he had seen the way it affected Tommy. Now that Tommy had moved on, Jason couldn't begrudge his happiness. It was a long time coming, but he hated seeing Kim's reaction to it.
Growing up, he and Kim had always seemed to be thrust together. He'd been one of the most popular guys in their grade and Kim was the school's sweetheart. Before becoming Rangers, they traveled in the same circles and before high school, it felt like she had always been there. Their friends; past and present, always assumed that there was a familial bond between them, but it hadn't been like that for Jason or Kim. The love that they had for another went way beyond that of a sibling relationship, yet they had never been as intimate as lovers could be. His mother once called them soul mates.
After Kim bowed out of the get together, Jason tried to give his full attention to Tommy, Kat, Tanya and Adam, but he felt bad for staying when it was obvious that Kim was feeling out of place. After leaving the Juice Bar, he headed home to check in with his parents and try to cheer up Kim. When his mother told him she'd gone to visit Rocky, he couldn't hide the surprise he felt.
"Hey, Jase. So, I take it you guys won…"
Kim smiled at Jason, but didn't move from Rocky's side. "Are you kidding? Between the three of them, they could have beat just about anyone out there." She was proud of their accomplishment.
Jason claimed the seat that Kim had previously had. "It was nice getting back in a ring again…even if I did have to share the limelight with Tommy and Adam." After he'd left for Switzerland, there hadn't been many opportunities for him to exercise his skill in karate. "How you holding up, man?"
Rocky shrugged his shoulders. "It's a work in progress?"
Kim frowned. "Was that a question?"
"I just don't know how I feel about everything yet," Rocky replied.
"Fair enough," Jason muttered. He grabbed Kim's hand in his own and tenderly squeezed it. "How you doing, Kimmy?"
She sueezed his hand in response. "It's a work in progress," she responded, repeating Rocky's words. "I was just getting ready to tell Rocky the news…"
"News?"
"Kim and I are moving back here. Another reason we decided to come back was so we could look at AGU's campus."
"That's great! But Kim, what about gymnastics?"
The simple answer was that she'd fallen out of love with it. It wasn't the same when she had to compete in it. "I don't think I could stay in Florida…I was invited to join the Olympic team."
"That's a huge compliment," Rocky replied. It proved that anyone could achieve anything if they put their mind to it.
Kim nodded. "I turned them down. The sport just doesn't hold the same feeling any longer. I figure I've already proven to myself that I could do it, why spend the next four years making myself miserable? Besides, I've had to give up so many things to get…here, I want to make amends and get back to my life."
Rocky could only nod. He had yet to deal with life after his time as a Ranger, but if they were going to hang around, he wouldn't be opposed to it. It would be nice to have someone to turn to.
"And before I left, Emily and I had been spending some time together," Jason added. "I kind of want to see where that could go."
"Besides, us former Rangers have to stick together," the female reminded them.
The conversation died down, and they ended up turning the tv on and laughed over re-runs to shows they'd already seen. The three ended up nodding off after a short time. Rocky was perched very close to the edge of the bed, Kim still tucked into his side. Her left hand was secured within Jason's much larger one, his head resting on the edge of the bed.
When the attending nurse came in to check on Rocky later that night, she didn't have the heart to wake them. The teens appeared to be more comfortable in that moment than Rocky had been during his visit.
Sometime during the night, Rocky was awakened when Kim began murmuring in her sleep. He pulled her closer into his side and began whispering words of comfort to her. After a couple moments she settled back into a peaceful slumber and he was left to his thoughts.
Things were in a transition right now. He didn't know what the next few months would hold for him, but after finding out that they were moving back to Angel Grove; Rocky wasn't feeling as insecure and worried as he had been. Like Kim had told them, former rangers needed to stick together…he just hoped that she really meant it.
The End
