So this idea came about after an emotional conversation followed by a badly placed gifset on tumblr. I hope you enjoy.

2 years to the day. Clara stood in the same spot she had done 2 years ago, staring down the road. She'd been here so many times, there was some sort of connection here she always felt to the point where she hadn't been able to drive down here since it happened. The road was quite busy today, but that didn't stop her from sitting by the side of the pavement and watching it go by. It was a day she would never forget, a day that was seared on to her brain forever for so many reasons. This wasn't his last spot, not really, but she'd look strange standing in a graveyard where he wasn't even buried and after all, this was the moment it all went wrong.

It must have been hours she'd been sat there looking in the same direction. Clara had turned her phone off before she sat there not wanting to be disturbed, so she didn't actually know how long it had been. She guessed everyone would know what today was, there'd been enough sympathetic looks yesterday at work and plenty of whispers going on around her which is exactly the reason she wasn't there today. Here she could be lost in thought, thinking of everything she needed to without the judgement of anyone…

"Clara?" She almost jumped at the voice, nobody had said a thing to her as they walked by and she had ignored everyone too. She knew who it was too, and she immediately felt an awful feeling in the bottom of her stomach. "What are you doing here, shouldn't you be at work?"

Pete was a good man. They'd met at a conference on the other side of London where they discovered he worked in a school not far from Coal Hill. 8 months and a few dates later and things were moving slowly forward, but today she just didn't want to see him. Thing is, she hadn't actually told him about Danny. Not really. Pete hadn't been inside her place, they'd always been to his - she'd just swung it that way whenever conversation had arisen. If he had there would be a lot of explanation to be done, but so far she'd got away with it.

"I could say the same for you?" She needed longer to get a reasonable lie in her mind. Clara hadn't actually stopped looking down the road yet, it hadn't really occurred to her yet this might look quite strange.

"Water's out, nobody's allowed in today. I did text you earlier, did you not see?" There was a sarcastic comment waiting for him right there; she just couldn't be bothered to give it to him. She didn't like comparing Danny and Pete, but somehow at the moment she couldn't help but think what Danny would be doing right now.

"Phone died, sorry. I called in sick today, woke up feeling terrible but felt better after lunch so I came out for a walk and just stopped here for a moment." It almost horrified Clara how much she'd lied, or at least twisted the truth, to Pete over the last few months. She didn't mean to, it just happened and she couldn't really stop it. It wasn't that she didn't like Pete; if that was the case she would have ended it weeks ago. On the contrary, he was brilliant, he had a way of cheering her up in almost any situation with very little effort and he was an amazing cook.

The trouble was, he'd got to know her quite well in their time together and therefore this lie didn't quite carry. "You never call in sick… are you alright? What's happened?" Pete came round the other side of her, and then spotted the flowers. "Was there an accident here? Did you know them?" Clara looked at him for the first time. His face was concerned; he'd crouched down now to be at her level. She didn't reply though, she couldn't. The silence clearly made her point as he eventually changed his conversation topic. "You look frozen Clara; it's not that warm out here." He slipped off his coat, putting it around her shoulders. "Come on, I'll take you to mine and I'll make you tea."

Thankfully he'd stopped with the questions too, if he'd asked she'd have probably said no, but instead he put a supportive arm around her and just helped her up and they walked to his car which took them back to his. Only when they were half way there did it occur to her they hadn't been far from her place and she was immediately grateful he'd offered to go to his – although she did wonder if that meant he was on to her.

"Clara. We're here, are you getting out…?" Pete had opened her door and she just hadn't noticed.

"Yes, sorry. My mind's all over the place today I don't mean to be so distant." She stepped out the car and followed him up to the door, going in and through to the living room where he soon put the fire on. "Thank you so much, I hadn't realised quite how cold I'd got sat down there it's probably a good job you turned up." Pete grabbed a blanket and made sure she was well wrapped up before going in to make the tea. Clara pulled her legs up to her chest, still shaking a little as her body tried to warm itself up. Whilst Pete was in the kitchen, Clara pulled her phone out and turned it on to see if she'd missed anything other than his text. As it turned out and as she'd feared, there were quite a few messages from teachers at the school offering everything from good wishes to tea in the staffroom tomorrow morning – thoughtful as they were, she couldn't bring herself to reply to any of them. It was the picture on her phone she was more interested in, the last photo they'd taken together. It used to be her lock screen, but that had to change when Pete came along. Now she just opened it, a lot, making sure to keep that memory well alive.

When Pete's footsteps could be heard once more, Clara quickly locked her phone and slipped it away and rearranging her position to be able to take the mug from him. He smiled; a gesture she returned as he sat down beside her and pulled her close.

"How are you feeling now?" Pete asked and handed her the TV remote, an honour she knew they both realised the importance of, but she didn't turn it on just yet.

"Warmer, but still a little shivery." Clara snuggled close to him and rested her head on his shoulder, sipping at tea slowly. "Remind me to cut off the water supply to your school next time I'm feeling ill? Or I could just get you to do it for me…" He chuckled at that.

"Someone's definitely feeling a little better. I'll try and remember that. You going to turn the TV on or should I steal the remote back?" Clara turned her head to look up at him, giving a small grin before throwing the remote over on to the second sofa. "Well that's not very nice, what will we do now?" She leaned over to put her tea down on the table and then sat back up, slipping her arms round him.

"I'm sure we can keep ourselves amused?" Clara smiled again, kissing him gently. "Call it a thank you, and a reason to avoid afternoon telly." Pete gave her a look she hadn't seen before. It was a good look or at least she assumed it was and he eventually smiled with it – confirming her suspicions. "What's that look for… you seem to be staring a little?"

"Oh no no not at all, I just realised something quite big…." Once again she reverted to being unsure if this conversation was going in a good direction.

"And what would that be?" She asked, taking one of his hands in hers and playing a little with his fingers.

"How amazing you are, how much I was scared when I saw how upset and cold you looked, how much I worry about you. I know this isn't the most romantic of situations but Clara Oswald I think… no, I know I love you." Pete went in to kiss her but Clara pulled back, completely freezing at this statement. This was the exact moment she'd been afraid of since she realised how serious this relationship was.

Clara stood up, stepping away from him and going over to the window, looking out over the road. She knew she had to speak, she knew she would have to explain now or losing Pete would be inevitable. Behind her, she could tell he was looking at her, but she didn't want to know how his face looked.

"I know it's not the most romantic of days," Clara shook her head as he spoke, it wasn't his fault, and this would never be his fault.

"Don't, please. It's honestly not that, it's not you. I just… I can't say it back." Pete stood up and went to join her, staying at a distance.

"You don't have to, I don't expect your feelings to be the same as mine right now I just had to tell you and…" Clara could feel the tears building just with the sound of his voice as much as the words he was speaking.

"No Pete you don't get it, you really don't understand and I don't know if you ever will." She wiped at her cheek when the tears began to escape.

"Try me, please?" He sounded so sincere, but that didn't make her any less nervous about the conversation they were about to have.

"I…" she started, stumbling. "I can't ever say it back. Not ever, however I feel I cannot ever speak those words to you." She looked up to him and was met with a confused look. "This… is a long story. I made a promise to someone 2 years ago… 2 years exactly actually. He… I…" she sighed and took out her phone, unlocking it and handing it to Pete.

"Your ex?" Pete asked. Clara could never call him that, they'd never broken up - they'd simply been broken.

"No. Sorry, no. I can't… I can't use that term. He was my previous boyfriend yes. Danny Pink; a maths teacher at Coal Hill." Pete let out the tiniest of noises at his surname, something she'd have been angry about but he hadn't heard the whole story yet. "I love him. No past tense, I do love him."

"So why… why are you here, exactly?!" Pete asked, sounding a little put off.

"He died!" She snapped, turning away from him, "he was the accident on that road, 2 years ago today he was just gone!" Pete went to place a hand on her shoulder but she moved away. "No, don't give me all that sympathetic stuff I don't want it! I'm fed up of everyone telling me how sorry they are and how they can't imagine how I must be feeling, you all have absolutely NO idea what happened that day, you just don't…" she stopped herself. "I was on the phone to him at the time, and I promised him, I promised him nobody else would ever hear me say I loved them. I can't break that promise now, not ever. I know he's gone, but that doesn't stop my words from being any more real." If only he knew the whole story, but that would never be told. She dropped to the floor; the emotion of speaking it all out loud was just too much. "I understand if it's a deal breaker, I always expected it to be I just wanted… I just couldn't talk about it."

There was silence for a minute or so. Clara sat on the floor, knees pulled up to her chest and she'd given up wiping away tears a long while ago. Pete stood in the same spot she'd left him in, looking from her phone to her position on the floor.

"Is this why you never invite me back to yours? Why you always swing it so there's a reason to come here?" So he was on to her - that was one question answered. She nodded. "You didn't want me to see the pictures of you both I'm guessing?" She nodded again.

"He left a spare jacket at mine all the time. It still hangs behind my door. His mug is still in the cupboard and even his spare phone charger… nothing's moved. It's not that I can't move on Pete, I do really like you and we're good together I just… well I know you think it's weird. Everyone thinks it's weird, but with most people I don't care what they think. Just because we weren't married doesn't make it any less real." Pete now moved and knelt down beside her, still not coming too close. Clara looked at him, shocked he hadn't walked out yet.

"I'm not going to compete with him for that spot in your heart Clara, because I can see I'll never win. That, however, does not stop me from loving you and I will settle for the spot next door quite happily… on two conditions." It almost crushed her just how nice Pete was, but she was also eager to find out how she could salvage this relationship. "One – you tell me all about Danny. Take me to your place, show me everything, and tell me what he was like and what he did. Not because I want to be anything like him, he's just a big part of you and I need to know about that." Clara nodded again and waited for the second condition. "Two – Never tell me you love me. You made a promise and I respect that. I'll settle for really like or anything else, but don't ever tell me you love me because that would be the day I see you really break and I can't ever see that. Is that a deal?" She wasn't sure if her tears were sad or happy anymore, maybe they were a mix of both. She nodded once more, moving on to her knees and kissing him deeply.

"There's one thing you should definitely know about Danny." Pete looked at her, happy to learn. "He would approve of you." Clara smiled, kissing him again and knowing that maybe, just for a moment, she had a chance to live again.

This one shot almost killed me more than my whole multi-chapter put together… but there we go. Let me know what you think