"I apologize for all the pain and suffering I may have put you through," came Rhonda Llyod's voice. She placed an apologetic hand on Arnold shoulder and the golden-haired boy looked down at his lap. His face fell and his voice softened.
"It's okay, Rhonda," he said. But Arnold was greatly relieved when the Caprini-wearing girl moved on. His heart was in a tumult. Last night, when Arnold had gone to sleep he had been horrified by the thought that he might end up marrying Helga G. Pataki. Rhonda's marriage predictor had said so. One hundred and ten times! But somewhere in the night his heart had found the puzzle piece he had long been searching for. His eternal tormentor. His eternal tease. The girl who waxed then waned hot and cold. Helga G. Pataki. Last night he had heard a dream Helga confess to him that the reason she tormented him so was to hide her true self from him. He had heard from his own dream lips what he truly believed deep down in his heart. That Helga was not a bad person, and in that moment his nightmare became a bliss. A source of peace in his current life. But Rhonda's retraction disrupted that peace. It meant he was not guaranteed resolution with his pink-bowed friend after all. Arnold sighed, deeply. Gerald looked at him funny.
"What's the matter man?" asked Gerald, lifting his book to his side. "Shouldn't you be happy right about now? You aren't stuck marrying that Pataki girl!"
"I know I should be happy, Gerald," Arnold said. "But I don't. Feel happy that is. Maybe I'm just tired," said Arnold shutting his eyes and pretending to nap for the remainder of their bus ride. It was a few minutes till P.S. 118 still.
Arnold's school day passed by, uneventful largely. But his eyes were rounded and sad...and thoughtful. The dreams that had spun through his head had still not gone away.
At lunchtime Arnold made the mistake of staring at Helga for too long. She stared down at her sandwich, then her dress to see if there was slop on it, then up again. Her eyes burned into Arnold's angrily.
"What are you staring at, Football-Head?" She asked squeezing her sandwich flat like notebook paper.
"N...nnn...nothing," said Arnold quickly adjusting his chair so that it faced a blank and empty wall. Arnold sighed again.
On the bus ride home, Gerald jabbed Arnold's elbow with his own, knocking him out of a moody trance.
"Arnold!" Gerald said. "You've been moping around all day! Out with it! What's your problem, man?" Arnold turned around in his seat and looked for a pink ribbon dotting the back of the bus like a 'Where's Waldo' picture. It was there, sure enough, so Arnold lowered his voice to a whisper.
"Well, you know how when I broke up with Lila… I mean that time that she THOUGHT I had written 'Arnold loves Lila' in chalk but I hadn't and I corrected her on it? Well, what I meant to say is that maybe this time is like that time."
"Huh?" Said Gerald. "You've lost me."
"Well, you know," said Arnold nudging toward truth. "Like back then. I didn't like Lila until after I had broken up with her the first time. And I spent forever trying to get her back. But this time, I actually didn't break up with anyone! But it kind of FEELS like it, Gerald. And it makes me kind of sad."
"Arnold!" Gerald complained. "Do you even hear what you're saying? You and Helga aren't dating."
"We sort of have," Arnold corrected Gerald in turn. "Remember that French Restaurant? And all the dozens… no hundreds of times Helga has come with us and all the guys to the movies or the baseball field? We talk nearly every day! For better or for worse."
"For better or for worse!" Said Gerald lifting his eyes up to the heavens and throwing his hands in the air. "What a marriage! It'll be filled with 'worse', all right!"
"Gerald!" Arnold said twitching at the blunt statement. "I'm not deciding anything. I'm just… curious. I mean, I've been shot down lots of times and known all the girls around the block. When I think down, deep on it, Helga's pretty special. Unique."
"Amen to that, brother," said Gerald still rolling his eyes. Arnold gave him another jab with his elbow.
"Ow!" Said Gerald as Arnold turned his head to scout out the pink ribbon again. He lowered his voice back to a whisper. "Just promise me you won't say a word on this to anyone!"
"Oh I won't. You can count on that," said Gerald getting up the moment the school bus stopped. He and Arnold descended onto Vine Street. He and Gerald had made plans to hang out that afternoon.
"So should we go to your home to pick up your skateboard?" Arnold asked amicably. After all, Gerald was his best friend. It was fun to hang out with him even if his stormy love-life was ever in the background.
But after skateboarding and downing two, fresh tall cups of lemonade, Gerald had to leave. It a time to go home to do chores. Arnold was left alone in silence and his thoughts. He opened the boarding house door and watched wild animals run screaming out of it. He rolled his eyes. There were more cats than ever. Either one of them wasn't fixed or some strays had joined the gang of boarding house animals again.
It was just Arnold's luck. All the boarders were on the couch watching some cruddy romance movie. Ernie and Mr. Hyuyn both had tears in their eyes and were actually looking chummy for the moment, instead of arguing. Arnold jammed his hands into his pockets and stared at the adults for a moment before stalking away. He found Grandma in the kitchen.
"What's the matter, Kimba?" she asked hunting flies like usual. Grandpa was doing dishes with his yellow gloves.
"I don't know, Grandma," said Arnold woefully. "It's just that… well, yesterday one of the girls pretended to fortune tell. She said I'd get married to someone I least expected. But of course it was all just a silly, made-up game. She's even more a scam than the Madame Balnc's potion's shop down by the riverfront. But it made me feel… different. Disappointed, actually. Because it was all a fortune and fortunes just don't come true!" said Arnold flicking a finger against a wrinkle in the table cloth. Grandma Pookie stared for a moment, then grinned. She ran toward Arnold and gave him a hug just as Grandpa decided to do the same. He ended up patting Arnold on the shoulders.
"That's a boy, Arnold!" Grandpa said with a wide grin. "By the looks of ya, I'd say, you're smitten! Who's the girl?"
"What does smitten mean?" asked Arnold, his eyebrows knotting up.
"It means you've gone star-crazy. Bonkers! You my, boy, have got a crush!" Grandpa Phil ended so loudly that it attracted the attention of everyone in the living room. Ernie, Mr. Hyuyn, and the Kakashkas appeared at the doorway. All wore wide grins and began to celebrate!
"You've got a crush, Arnold!" Said Mr, Kakashka. "That's great! Make sure she's a rich woman!"
"Get out of here, ya bum!" said Ernie. "Arnold, make sure you don't let this one get away. You may think it's not important now, but sooner or you'll end up like me, old and gray and wondering where all the chances have gone."
"Ignore Ernie!" said Mr. Hyuyn. He held up a finger to lecture. "Choose carefully! You want a wife who is good! She will not steal and she will clean and cook!"
"Uh, thanks guys, but we're not talking about the same thing here," said Arnold hanging his head on his arms sadly. "We're talking about whether or not there will even be a girl for me in my future! Maybe, I'm just not meant to have someone. Or maybe that someone is way, far away out there and I'd have to go look for her. Or maybe," said Arnold biting his lower lip in thought. "She is somewhere right here."
"Hm, well, that's the trouble with fortune tellers," Phil said sitting next to Arnold. "All scam artists!"
"Ah, well! What a disappointment!" said Mr. Hyuyn surprising Arnold. "The next time you come here, bring with you a girlfriend!"
"Yeah!" said Ernie nudging Arnold lightly. "If you make a little extra effort, some girl out there is sure to take a shine to you!"
"Take a shine?" said Arnold, truly perplexed. Love brought out some of his densest moments. But when he went upstairs to his room, he carried this thought with him. Arnold tried to apply the words to Helga.
Take a shine? When had Helga ever 'liked' Arnold? When she was kissing him, for sure. But these moments seemed erratic, What Arnold could remember more what she had said she DID NOT like about Arnold. Arnold sat up on his bed suddenly. An idea had come to him.
Maybe he was looking at this all the wrong way. If he was going to try to get Helga interested in him, then he should not do or be whatever it was she hated most about him. Arnold wracked his brain for answers and then it came to him. Helga had called him a goody-two-shoes. Not once, but nearly every time she was truly angry. Perhaps the reason Helga did NOT like him was that he was too sweet. Too gentle. Too kind and giving. Too rule-abiding. The wheels in Arnold's head spun. His hands fisted up at his sides and he sat up. If a desirable girl did not like him because he was too good, then what would she do if he was bad like her? Arnold gulped. Doing bad deeds was against his very nature. Against his upbringing. But if he could just convince Helga he was not just 'a wet blanket' what would her reaction be? Suddenly, he was dying to find out.