"'Tis has been a long time since the Courts were in such discord, cousin." Princess Evie of the Queendom of Tir Na Nog, gowned in a ruffled blouse and a knee-length skirt the color of burnt Night Shade, said as she skipped alongside her much older and solemn-faced cousin, Lord Kai of Colhen Manor, as they moved unimpeded through the main hallway of the Royal Palace.
The man, garbed in finery that was crafted from charcoal-dyed spider silk and accented with elegant silver trimming, lifted a sharp eyebrow at the young Princess's sudden appearance. At her innocent look, he said dryly, "And, pray tell, how did you manage to outwit your latest tutor and eavesdrop on the royal proceedings within the very same hour?"
The young child smirked and flicked her fingers through a stray lock of her hair. "'Tis a secret, dear cousin. Now, t-"
Evie was cut off when a gauntleted hand grabbed her thin shoulder in a firm but careful grip. From behind them, stern and authoritative voice spoke, "My lady, you are unharmed."
At Evie's defeated groan, it was of no difficulty to identify the new presence as the Knight-Commander of the Royal Guard and personal bodyguard of the Princess, Dame Fiona. Regardless, he turned to exchange a polite nod to the austere young woman that was wearing in customary set of gleaming plate armor with her sword and shield strapped at her side. Evie, on the other hand, pouted at her stone-faced guardian.
"Fiona, I was simply taking a stroll around the castle grounds! You needn't shadow me around as if I were a newborn puppy! Do you not have other affairs to attend to, mayhap?" Evie protested at being treated like the child she was, but Fiona resolutely shook her head at her charge's pleading.
The woman's expression didn't change as she apologetically bowed her head to Kai in respect before she turned around and led her reluctant charge in the opposite direction. As the pair walked further away from Kai, the man could hear his younger cousin's lost argument echoing down the hallway. The child and the young woman rounded the corner and Kai turned on his heel, continuing in the direction he had originally been heading towards until he had been waylaid by Evie.
Kai crossed a few more hallways, mindful of the many servants and maids scurrying about their duties, before he was accosted by a buxom woman wearing a pair of men's leather breeches, a tailored vest dyed in a dark shade of wine, and thigh-high riding boots. Custom more or less forced him to acquiesce to the woman's invitation, and Kai reluctantly stepped into the tea parlor. Beyond the glass-paneled walls of the tea room was the Royal Garden, a blooming garden lush with exotic floral that had been hand-collected from all over the world.
"Greetings, Lady of Malina." The displeasure was not evident in his voice as he took her proffered hand and pressed a barely-there kiss to the back of her silken glove.
"My Lord, please call me Vella. Perchance it is fate to see you again." The way she spoke, rolling the consonants with ease and lilting every other vowel to sound exotic, reminded Kai of the disease-ridden unfortunates in the bowels of Rocheste Manor whom were forced to sell the pleasures of their flesh in return for coin. It was unsettling, and the pungent floral perfume the woman was wearing only escalated the wary he felt building in his chest.
Kai pulled out a seat for the lady to seat herself on before seating himself on one of the wicker chairs. He stretched his legs out and crossed one ankle over the other, mindful to keep his posture as relaxed as he possibly could.
The lady's lips slowly grew into a Chesire's grin, one supposedly to invite pleasantry; it felt like anything but.
Kai laced his fingers together, entirely businesslike. He preferred to dawdle the least around this nosy woman. "Lady Vella, then. What brings you o'er to Her Majesty's lands?"
"Ah, why must you always assume the worst whenever I deign to visit, my Lord? Perhaps I enjoy the company of your Court. 'Tis much more interesting than of my own, for sure." Vella made quick work of the tea set, pouring two cups and adding a cube of sugar to both. She slid the second cup over to Kai and he accepted the offering, but made no visible effort to drink it.
" You have no reason to visit, otherwise." Vella chuckled at his severe expression and took a sip of her tea.
"'Tis a pity, as it seems that an exquisite man such as yourself can resist my charms so. I, in truth, have offered to lend aid to Her Majesty regarding the tragedy of the stolen crown and our country knows that having such an important relic missing for almost a whole fortnight is a grievous insult. Our best scouts make up the bulk, if you wish to know." Kai unlaced his fingers and leaned back in his chair.
"It seems that word spreads much faster than it need to. We have made our own headways into identifying the thief. Your help is welcome, my Lady, but wholly unnecessary." Vella stirred her tea thoughtfully, a knowing gleam in her eyes.
"Really? I had thought it obvious who 'twas the culprit. Perhaps not." Kai narrowed his eyes.
"Of whom may you have in mind, then? I am curious." The last part made him want to bite his own tongue. He really shouldn't be discussing sensitive matters with a foreign dignitary.
"Why, 'twas the Gentleman Thief, of course. How else would one make off a royal treasure midst an army of ferocious Royal Guards and leave nary a trace?" Kai could feel a headache making its presence known, and he pinched the bridge of his nose.
"If what you speak of is the truth, it would do us no good. That man has evaded capture since what seems like the dawn of time. We are not even sure if it is even a single man or a collection of many more. We need information on suspected hoards, hideouts, and all else. To chase after the thief himself would be an impossible task."
Vella made a noise of acceptance and poured herself another cup of tea. "I suppose your reasoning holds true. However, my country's offer of assistance still stands. Malina holds no love for the ghost who had stolen all our sacred Relics."
Kai nodded his acknowledgement at the offer and stood up, the wicker chair scraping across the marble floor with a muted squeak. He had no desire to continue gossiping on royal matters with a foreign ambassador like a pair of scullery maids.
"I apologize for seeming abrupt, but I have other duties to attend to, my Lady. Please, enjoy yourself." He begrudgingly kissed the lady's proffered hand again in farewell before striding quickly out of the tea room.
Once he had put a fair distance between the tea room and himself, Kai allowed himself to take in a calming breath. Being in the presence of that woman always made him feel… unclean.
It was deep into nightfall when Kai finally returned to his homestead, Colhen Manor, after finishing his duties at Court. The rest of the time he had spent in the Royal Castle of Tir Na Nog had been utterly dreary as work mostly had him helping the Knight-Commander set up new patrols and see to the warrants for the crown to be sent all around the Queendom.
Kai had been somewhat disappointed that he had not been able to trade a few words with the Lord of Rocheste, a kind giant of a man named Karok, over the most recent events as the man had hurriedly excused himself from lunch after the initial Court proceedings for some reason or another. It was of no matter, however, as Kai reasoned that he could simply talk to the man the next time he visited Rocheste.
Kai prepared himself a very simple dinner, that of which he brought up to his chambers. Seeing as it was very late in the night, he was not inclined to go through the trouble of waking his easily irritated head chef.
He had just set the tray of food and wine onto the table next to his large four-poster bed and stoked the fireplace into a roar of gratuitous light and warmth when he noticed the flickering of errant shadows near the fluttering curtains that, to his knowledge, had previously been drawn over the balcony windows.
The curtains were flapping in the breeze and the balcony doors were opened just a crack. The sight sent a warning sign flaring in his mind; Kai never left his the doors of his balcony open. In fact, he rarely even ventured out on the balcony.
In a flash of movement, Kai had his cross-gun loaded and readied.
"You would truly shoot an old friend in your haste, m'Lord?" A voice drawled as a man, clad in an attractive mix of form-hugging, dark-hued leather and polished bits of bone-colored metal, stepped out of the shadows from behind the second high-backed armchair placed near the fireplace. A coal-dyed scarf wrapped around his neck and a dusky brimmed hat cast the rest of his face into a deep shadow. From where Kai stood, he could see that the man, for all of his extra baubles and shiny trinkets on his person, was lacking a shirt, revealing the prominent muscles that were evidence of a well-worked man.
"State your intent, and I shall decide whether or not to shoot you dead from where you stand." Kai kept his cross-gun aimed squarely at the man's head; he was no blithering fool, and the gleaming bone-colored twin swords hanging from the man's sides were an alarming sight. Despite the weapon aimed at his head, however, the man nonchalantly crossed his arms across his chest and coolly leaned against the chair.
"M'Lord, I mean you no harm, so lower your weapon." The cross-gun did not waver.
"Reveal your face, and mayhap I will reconsider." The intruder straightened from his slouch against the chair, thoughtful for a moment, before he removed his hat and scarf with a flourish of nimble fingers. The revealed face was one that was painfully familiar to Kai, and the impish grin the other man sported only served to bring forth a ghostly ache that Kai thought had healed over long ago.
"Exile, you are no friend of mine. Leave." The man's smirk dropped.
"Perhaps this visit has been presumptuous of me. Alas, then, I will take my leave. I have been too hasty in assuming that m'Lord cares for Her Majesty's prized crown."The man made as if to sweep a mocking bow and settled his hat into place.
"Wait. Lann… the crown. You know of its location?" The exile arched an eyebrow and looked pointedly at the cross-gun that was still aimed at his back. Reluctantly, Kai set his weapon down.
With the lack of a loaded bolt aimed at his person, Lann gestured for Kai to take a seat. Once the Lord was settled, stiffly, in the armchair, Lann strode over to the fireplace with his hand clasped behind his back casually. The flickering light of the flames accentuated the luster of the man's exotic swords hanging at his hips.
"I will tell you the location of the crown, but I must have something in return, aye?" Kai crossed his legs and laced his fingers together.
"The official listing, if you speak truth of the crown's location, is five hundred million." Lann's turned his head slightly so that Kai could see that his sobered expression remained unchanged.
"Nay, I want not of coin. I am asking for something more…" The man licked his cracked lips, his attention caught by the fiery crackles of pops of the fireplace, "An infinitely better trade, one might say."
Kai mulled over the prospect. One hand, the man could be lying to reap whatever reward he called for. On the other, however, there was no substantial reason for an exiled man to risk capture and life imprisonment by stealing into the homestead of a nobleman in hopes of garnering an audience rather than a bolt to his chest.
"I… I request a single moment of your time. Tonight will suffice." Lann swallowed and tore his gaze from the fireplace, his suave demeanor suddenly failing him for a split moment. Before Kai could comment on his hesitation, Lann's refined eloquence returned. "A trade of mutual pleasure is what I ask for."
Kai's expression darkened immediately and his hand inched towards his cross-gun that he had set down near his feet. "You think me a whore? Leave my chambers before I have you hanged this very moment!"
Lann turned, and with a flicker of motion, Kai could see the royal crown hanging from between his leather-wrapped fingers. "Surely you do not find me that despicable?"
Kai's heart skipped a beat at the sight of the royal crown. "You...!"
Lann turned so that he fully faced the other man, his eyes dark and unreadable. "Consider your words, m'Lord. One night of shared company and your Queen can have her precious crown. This farce would end by the morrow's dawn."
Kai inclined his head to look into the roaring fireplace, weighing his decision carefully with a quiet sigh. "Why ask this of me? Of all the riches straight from the Queen's coffers, you choose to ask for the simple pleasures of the flesh."
"You know precisely why, beloved." Lann crossed his arms across his chest, the nervous tick an intimately familiar sight to the other man, but the forlorn look in eyes spoke volumes of his bitterness against the unfair world.
It had been a combination of wayward youth and Kai's own carelessness that had ended up with Lann shouldering the brunt of the fallout, being banished from his homeland for many years, stripped of his noble birthright, and told never to return unless under the most dire of circumstances. Once, Kai fleetingly mused how things may have been different if both he and Lann had been born commoners, free from the rigid expectations of the royal court. Now, shouldering a weight beyond his years and wary of the illusions of invincibility, Kai was content if a day passed by without very little excitement.
"Promise me, you will return the crown." Kai's stare brokered no argument, and Lann gave a curt nod of his head. The crown was set aside, nesting comfortable in a free space on the mantle place of the fireplace. Lann unhooked his swords from their straps and let his well-cared-for weapons fall to the floor; his disarmament was essentially a show of compliance that sealed the promise.
The next thing that dropped to the floor was Lann's heavy jacket.
The next morning, Kai was brought into wakefulness by the blinding morning light that filtered past the billowing curtains. Through sleep-blurred eyes, he could see that the doors to his balcony had been thrown wide open, letting in the chirps of birdsong and noisy chatter of wakeful servants. As he rolled over onto his stomach, a crinkle of paper under his outstretched arm drew attention from his lethargic mind.
Squinting at the scrap of vellum that had been left on the other side of the bed, the note read,
"My friend, the things that do attain
The happy life be these, I find.
The riches left, not got with pain;
The fruitful ground; the quiet mind."
Signed, the Gentleman Thief
Kai buried his face into his pillow, exhausted beyond belief, but he couldn't help but glance at the wrinkled sheets that confirmed that he had shared his bed with someone the previous night. Of course, that person was long gone now; that side of the bed was void of warmth, and the only thing that lingered now was a simple memory.
Then, the door to his chambers burst open with a slam and Kai tried to drown himself under his blankets as a child-sized body rocketed onto the bed and began jumping up and down.
"GUESS WHAT, COUSIN? MOTHER FOUND HER CROWN! IT HAD BEEN IN HER ARMOIRE THE WHOLE TIME!"
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fin
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Author's Notes:
If you want to see what outfits I imagined the characters were wearing as I was writing this, visit my profile since links don't work in story entries. The links will be right under this story's entry in my literature archive list.
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The quote from the note,
"My friend, the things that do attain
The happy life be these, I find.
The riches left, not got with pain;
The fruitful ground; the quiet mind."
is an excerpt from Henry Howard's poem, "The Happy Life."
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Why was Lann exiled?
I'd imagine that two men having a clandestine relationship during a psuedo-regency/Old World era would have some repercussions. Of course, being exiled is quite an extreme, but in order for my story to run smoothly, someone needed to be banished. I chose Lann.
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This would have been much better with some explicit material. *wink wink nudge nudge*
I originally planned to write in some, but, of course, it's against the rules. Sorry.