I'm sorry…just…sorry
Let's play: How Many Different Words For "Ass" Can Roz Fit Into One Fic?
Bro: Touch the Butt
Anyone who knew Bro Strider was certain of three things. One, that he was never seen without his trademark pointed shades and cap. Two, he could sew a smuppet faster than you could say "Oh God not another fucking puppet". And three, he most definitely had an adoration for plush rumps. Oh yes, it was the rear he noticed first when meeting someone for the first time. He'd given Dave's best friend John quite a start when he'd dismissed his handshake and instead turned him around to get an eyeful or buttock. You could say he was a derriere connoisseur, a master of the rumps. Some would say that no one could rival his own posterior which sat on his backside like two overstuffed pillows.
On this particular day Mr. Strider was in dire need of a lovely behind to snuggle up to and possibly use as a pillow while he slept. However, he must go without as a friend of Dave's had come to visit with her grandfather. As he unlocked the apartment door and swung it open he was prepared to face a wrinkled old man for the rest of the night but what he saw was far from what he expected. Standing in the middle of his living room, with Dave and a short girl in glasses, was a man with charming beaver-like teeth, a glorious handlebar mustache, and the plushest, roundest, most twerk worthy rump clothed in shorts so small they could be classified in the thong family. Bro dropped the grocery bags containing only Fanta and Cheetos and stared in awe of the man before him.
"Dave, what's wrong with your brother?" Jade asked as the man in question lowered himself into a bow before her grandfather's rear.
"Don't ask...you don't want to know the answer." Was Dave's response before wishing once again for a normal family.
He then dragged his confused friend into the other room narrowly avoiding the site of Bro grabbing two handfuls of ass. The last thing they heard before reaching the safety of Dave's bedroom was a startled, but not at all unwilling, "gadzooks!"
I'm sorry. I didn't even know what I was doing when writing this. I'm sorry to anyone who actually likes this ship. Ahhhhh I'm going to go write something serious now.