MGM owns all characters and rights. A lot of dialogue from GateWorld.
A/N: I wrote this a long time ago and thank scr1tno and HalCooper for pushing me to publish it. It runs chronologically, not like the show.
The Shrine is one of the cornerstones of McKeller for me, so I had to take a stab at it. Hope you like it. Reviews always greatly appreciated.
Day 0
Jennifer Keller had a wonderful breakfast with Rodney that morning. They were discussing her theory about Wraith feeding being some type of electro-chemical reaction. With a certain electrical wavelength, it could be interrupted and reversed. Jennifer found it fascinating that John's life was returned to him by the Wraith they called Todd and asked Rodney all about it. She also took the opportunity to get glances in at the handsome man who occupied her dreams.
Ever since she was infected in Michael's lab, her friendship with Rodney got stronger each day. They ate together most of the time they were free. Movie nights always involved the two of them bantering about the movie to the dismay of others. If Team Sheppard needed a doctor, it was always her. She could not forget Rodney coming to see her in that horrible room telling her they were going to fix it and that it was not her fault.
Jennifer smiled at everyone she saw in the corridor after breakfast. She was on her way to the control room to work with Radek on some sensor modifications for the quarantine protocol. As she entered the Gateroom, she caught Rodney's eye for a moment as he was waiting to dial out and smiled. He returned the smile with a slight nod causing her stomach to flutter.
Woolsey was at the edge of the balcony in the control room and looked down at Team Sheppard waiting for the Stargate to dial out, as Jennifer climbed the stairs.
"Colonel Sheppard, when you reach the research camp, please remind Doctor Nichols that he is now," the expedition leader paused to look at his watch, "one hour and fifteen minutes overdue for his scheduled check-in."
"Right. Want me to smack him around or anything?" John responded.
Jennifer sat with Radek in the back of the control room, so she could not hear the rest of the conversation.
"Good morning, Radek," Jennifer said with a big grin.
"You too, Jennifer. You sure look happy today. Did you have a date last night?" Radek asked causing her to flush pink.
"No. I don't have time to date," she replied as she logged on to the system.
"Only to have meals and watch movies," he added as he turned to bring up schematics on a large monitor next to them. He did not notice her pink face turn to red.
As Woolsey reached the stairs to leave the control room, the Gate started dialing and the alarm went off.
"Unscheduled off world activation," Amelia said causing both Jennifer and Zelenka to look up with interest.
"Activate the shield!" Woolsey yelled as he ran back to Banks' station.
"I'm not receiving an I.D.C.," Amelia said with some concern.
"Atlantis, this is Sheppard. Do not lower the shield. The entire tower will be flooded," the Colonel's voice came over a radio.
"I have no intention of doing that, Colonel. What's your status?" Woolsey asked.
"It's cold and wet. The Stargate's under water. The entire valley's flooded." John sounded grim.
"And it's freezing!" Rodney's voice chimed in causing Jennifer to start slightly.
"And you need to send a Jumper through so we can stay warm and dry until the water recedes," John said.
"Colonel, what's your situation? How cold is it?" Jennifer asked in what she hoped was a neutral voice.
"We're on top of the Stargate surrounded by water, Doc. It feels like the water is barely above freezing," John said.
"Okay, I'm going to get blankets, changes of clothes and heaters to put in the jumper," she said as she jumped up and ran down the stairs with her heart pounding as she reviewed all the symptoms and complications of hypothermia. Maybe I should just go in the jumper to check on them. Would that look silly?
Jennifer had a bad feeling about what was going on with Sheppard's team. It had been over ten hours since the jumper left to retrieve them. There were a few patients, which kept her busy, but she could not eat any meals and kept calling the control room for a report. Amelia and Chuck humored her since they seemed to know how much Sheppard's team or a particular member of his team meant to her.
When Jennifer finally got the call that Team Sheppard returned, she raced to the Gateroom. When Chuck told her Rodney was unconscious and had been for a while, her chest ached and tightness gripped her heart. I knew I should have gone with that jumper.
The sight of Ronon carrying an unconscious McKay in his arms sent a quick wave of panic through the physician. She had treated Rodney for a variety of injuries since her arrival, but seeing him unresponsive was terrifying. To counteract the panic, she relied on her medical training and tried to focus only on the situation and not the individual. It had always been easy for her to do until now. After all she had endured with this cranky, arrogant and totally adorable astrophysicist, his place in her heart was permanent and would never be removed.
"How long has he been unresponsive?" She asked touching McKay's neck to feel for a pulse.
"Since he fell asleep in the Jumper… about nine hours," Teyla answered.
"Okay, let's get him to the Infirmary. I want him under a scanner. I wanna have a look at you guys too," Jennifer looked at the rest of Rodney's team.
"We're good," Ronon grunted.
"By that, I mean now," Jennifer said in a voice that would tolerate no arguments.
Jennifer stayed with Rodney and ran all the tests on him herself. She needed to be sure there was nothing wrong with him. The physician was beginning to review his scan when Marie informed her that Rodney was awake. Dropping everything, Jennifer went to his bedside.
Rodney was sitting up and smiled happily as she checked his temperature. Teyla and John were there as well.
"Well, how's our boy?" John asked.
"No fever, no hypothermia. Nothing on the scan at all," Jennifer said looking at the thermometer and turning to face his team as Ronon approached. Thank God everything seems okay. I am getting too attached to this man.
"What about you guys?" Rodney asked looking at the faces of his teammates.
"Like I said, we're good," Ronon said shooting a glance at Jennifer
"Yeah, yeah," she replied. Sheppard's team was closer than any of the other teams she saw come through the infirmary. It must be because of all the nasty situations they've been involved in.
"But we're not the ones who became unconscious," Teyla said with some concern as she looked at the resident genius in the infirmary bed.
"Yeah, well, I didn't get much sleep the night before, and I did skimp on breakfast, so…" he said trying to wave off the concern.
"You know Woolsey wants to send out a M.A.L.P. before every transit now?" John said.
"Well, that's gonna get old fast," answered Rodney.
"That's what I said," Sheppard replied.
"Hey, can I go now? Feel a little silly lying here." Rodney smiled at Jennifer.
"I'm keeping you under observation for a little longer. Besides, I ordered you dinner," Jennifer could not help but smile back. His real smile is so rare and so endearing; I would do anything to keep seeing it.
"Well, then, you can observe me eat, 'cause I'm famished," he replied still grinning and caused some pink in her cheeks.
"Well, it's official. He's better." John patted Rodney's leg and walked away with Teyla and Ronon.
"See you, guys," Rodney called after them.
Jennifer spent the last half hour looking over Rodney's blood work a second time. Before she settled in to review the scan again, she wanted to make sure he got the meal she ordered instead of giving him one of the pre-made hospital meals.
"So?" Jennifer asked with a smile as she approached Rodney, who was still shoveling his meal into his mouth.
"Just what the doctor ordered and just my luck that the kitchen was serving my favorite steak and fries tonight," Rodney said waving his fork and knife around.
"Very lucky." The physician smiled remembering her offer of Godiva chocolate to the chef to get him to put together the special plate.
"You want my fruit cup?" Rodney asked waving the little dish of fruit and Jell-O in the air.
"No. No, No." Jennifer shook her head.
"I think you do," Rodney had a devious grin on his face as he kept waving it like a tempting treat in front of her.
"Eating from the patient's tray is kind of frowned upon." Jennifer could not stop smiling.
"Jennifer, we practically dated," Rodney stated.
"You bought me one drink! That's hardly dating." Jennifer was shocked at this admission, but would not let him off that easy.
"Right, so, well now I'm asking you to have dinner with me. I mean such as it is." He continued to wave the fruit cup around.
Jennifer had to sit down on the edge of the bed because her knees were slightly weak from the constantly smiling and flirting Rodney McKay. Relenting, she took the cup from him.
"I do love the fruit cup."
"Not that this is exactly the dinner I had in mind but…" He did not complete the sentence.
"Is that an invitation? I have a busy calendar and need to make sure I have free time." She opened the fruit cup and took a bite.
"I'll just have to keep you guessing for a while. The thrill of the chase and all, you know." Rodney grinned proudly at her.
Jennifer smiled and blushed even more. I guess my patience is finally paying off, a date with the Great Rodney McKay.
"And only if you promise to accept," he said with his blue eyes twinkling.
Jennifer smiled and took a bite. "I'll have to keep you guessing."
Day 1
Jennifer got called away for a team coming back with an injured man, so she did not get to see Rodney again until his discharge in the morning.
"Let me know if there is anything out of the ordinary. I haven't gotten a chance to take a second look at the scans yet," she said as he stood inside her office with his uniform on.
"I was trying to remember something I needed to do today and it just won't come to me. I never usually forget this kind of stuff. Just birthdays and important things to people." His grin and bright blue eyes made him look more handsome than usual.
"Okay, I'll keep it in mind." She laughed and smiled back at him holding his gaze for longer than normal.
"Catch you for lunch," he said.
"I'll try. I'm a little behind today," Jennifer confessed. She spent yesterday worrying and did not get much done.
Jennifer pulled up the scans from Rodney around 12:00 as she waited for him to swing by for lunch. Was this a date? He did ask and called a short time ago to check in. Jennifer was blushing and felt like a teenager.
"What's this?" Jennifer said out loud as she saw a tiny dark blot on Rodney's brain scan. Since he mentioned memory loss earlier, she could not help but note that it was in the region of the brain controlling memory.
"Doctor Keller to Doctor McKay," she tried to keep the concern out of her voice. I probably did the scan wrong.
"Jennifer, we don't have to be so formal. We shared a drink and half a dinner. That has to merit first names." His smile could be heard through the earwig.
"Rodney, I need you to come back to the infirmary for a test." Jennifer had a hard time not smiling at his flirty nature over the last twelve hours. He's finally coming around.
"Okay, I was on my way to get you for lunch anyway. We can kill two birds with one stone."
Jennifer could not believe that he was being so cooperative.
"Miss me?" Rodney said when he arrived with a big grin on his face.
Jennifer felt herself get red, "Not at all. I have plenty of other patients to keep me busy."
"But I'm your favorite," Rodney said in a sing-song voice as he jumped up on the scanner table and settled back, crossing his hands over his stomach and looking up at her, he said, "Be gentle with me, Doc, I am rather delicate."
Jennifer could not prevent her laughter and blushed some more. "Just lie still."
She turned her attention to the screen in front of her and saw a black spot on his brain. It appeared slightly larger than the one from yesterday and it was definitely in the region controlling memory.
"Uh-oh, you've been too quiet. What's that?" Rodney had gotten up from the table and was standing directly behind her. She had been concentrating so hard that she jumped and bumped into him when she heard his voice near her right ear. He put his hands on her shoulders to steady her.
"Sorry, but I don't know what it is. I'll need to do some more tests." Jennifer did not want to admit she did not know what was going on, but she would not lie to him. His touch was distracting; it felt too personal to be considered just a friendly gesture.
"I'm sure you'll figure it out. Let's grab some lunch so you can work with a full stomach." He squeezed her shoulders, stepped back and waited expectantly for her.
"I really should plan…" she began only to be cut off by him.
"You have to eat and I will not take no for an answer." He reached out and took her arm leading her away.
After lunch, she started looking though the blood tests and reviewing past brain scans. She told Rodney to be available the rest of the day and had to notify Sheppard and Woolsey that Rodney would have to be on restricted duty until she could find out what this was doing to his memory.
After a couple hours, she was going to call Rodney but turned to find him standing in her lab. "I have an idea about how to track my memory loss."
A short while later, Jennifer activated a video camera and faced Rodney as he adjusted his jacket and sat down. "It's recording."
"Well, aren't you supposed to say 'Action' or something?"
"Oh, sorry."
"I'm kidding! Okay, here we go." Rodney grinned at her and then faced the camera. "My name is Doctor Rodney McKay. I am head of the Science and Research Departments here in Atlantis in the Pegasus galaxy in the local cluster in the universe, as we know it. Um, the purpose of this log is to provide a baseline for myself and for Doctor Keller to monitor the progress of my, um... uh... memory loss. It's ironic, isn't it? Um, by reciting the aforementioned as well as a list of things I know like the back of my hand, starting with pi, to, say, twelve decimals. Three point one four one five nine two six five three five…"
After the filming, Jennifer had to decline having dinner with Rodney to look up something in the database. The tumor or whatever it was had a familiar look to it; since she poured over the Ancient database whenever she had free time, the physician thought she had seen something like it before.
After two hours of looking over the database, Rodney interrupted her with a sandwich that he made her eat, delaying the search. Once he left, she found it. As she read the symptoms and prognosis, her stomach twisted and she thought she was going to throw up. Memory loss. Personality changes. Progressive mental deterioration. Rapid progression. No cure.
No, I don't buy that. She and Rodney saved Elizabeth with the Nanites and she sorted out Michael's database within three weeks to save Carson. She could defeat a parasite, so she stayed up all night and into the next morning coming up with a plan for treatment.
DAY 2
Jennifer was extremely nervous when she called Rodney into her office. The last day had been amazing to be with him, but now she understood what was going on. Rodney's personality was changing. It was a side effect of the parasite. He was not really acting on any feelings he felt toward her. Taking a deep breath and trying to control her conflicting emotions, the doctor prepared to discuss the situation with him.
The conversation went well. She told him of her plan for drugs, radiation and even an attempted surgery to remove it. He was the same friendly, agreeable and trusting person he was yesterday.
She had to rule surgery out right away because the parasite had grown overnight, so she moved on to drugs.
DAY 06
By the sixth days, she had begun to get desperate, barely sleeping and passing most of her work off to others who gladly picked up the slack. Her focus was entirely on Rodney's condition.
When Rodney came to film his video late in the evening, exhaustion was written all over her face. As soon as he saw her when he entered the room, he quickly walked over to her desk.
"Jennifer, are you all right? You've been working too hard. I haven't seen you in the mess hall. Are you even eating?" Rodney kneeled beside her chair putting an arm around her shoulders.
"Rodney, I'm fine. How are you feeling today?" She got up from the chair. Rodney rose, but did not move to let her pass.
"Jennifer, you need to take care of yourself. I can't have my doctor getting sleepy while on the job now can I?" The gentle smile on Rodney's face melted her heart.
He doesn't mean it. It's not Rodney. She could not move, however, as his eyes had captured hers. Jennifer felt his hands reach up to cradle her face as her heart raced in anticipation of what she expected to happen; what she dreamed about for over a year. He doesn't mean it. This isn't real. Her eyes closed by their own accord and she felt his breath over her lips before his mouth pressed against them. He slid his arms around her pulling her close. Tears slid out of her eyes as she began to move her lips against his, wanting to deepen the kiss, but knowing it was wrong. You're taking advantage of a patient. Tearing her mouth away with a small cry she quickly pulled out of his arms and walked to the video camera. "Rodney, we shouldn't be doing this. I'm your doctor."
"I know, but you're also my friend. And you definitely looked like you needed a kiss." His smile was still there. "Besides, I predict a day that you will throw yourself at me."
"All set?" Jennifer asked after he settled in front of the camera. Her emotions were running to every extreme and it was hard for her to focus after their brief kiss. Focus on getting through this. Then you can cry all night.
"Remind me to register a complaint with whosoever idea this was." Rodney smiled at her.
"Uh, it was yours, actually," she replied forcing a smile of her own.
"Oh, ho-ho. Well, complaint duly registered," he said pointing his finger like he was scolding himself.
"It was a good idea to keep a record of what's happening to you and how fast, but if you'd rather not…" Jennifer said.
"No, it's fine, it's fine. Start with my name, right?"
"Right."
"Hey, I remembered something! Yay!" Rodney responded.
Jennifer laughed because it was impossible for her not to be affected by this charming man. But it's not your Rodney. She needed to keep telling herself that.
"My name is Doctor Rodney McKay. I am head of the Department of Science... something... in Atlantis in the, um... Oh, for God's sake. In the Pegasus galaxy." He lifted his head to look at her, but was not smiling.
"Okay, not bad. Keep going." It's getting worse.
"Jennifer, there's, there's something I wanted to, um... you know, while I remember, while I still can; something I wanted to say before..." He looked slightly nervous like his old self for a moment.
"Go ahead." Jennifer was trying to hold in her own fear and trying to be a calm face for him to look at.
"I ... I ... I love you. I've loved you for some time now," he said glancing down and then back into the camera. "Okay, where was I?"
Jennifer stood in stunned silence. He spoke for another five minutes and could not list all the things he normally did, but she just stared at him. I've waited my whole life for a man to say those words, but now… She wanted to run to her quarters and cry. The parasite is messing up his brain and his thoughts. When he's healed, we'll just be friends again. Don't think about it. She was so absorbed with not crying and convincing herself it was not true that she did not see him leave. The tears then came and did not stop for several hours.
DAY 10
By the tenth day, the video taping sessions were an absolute horror for Jennifer. Rodney still came because it was an ingrained pattern for him now. It would be one of the last things he lost; it must have been the last permanent memory he made before the deterioration accelerated.
This day of taping was the worse for his memory loss and his level of frustration. He could barely get out his name, department and the galaxy. The mumbling and blank expressions tore Jennifer's heart.
"Three point one four… I don't know. How can I not know that?" Rodney looked at her with desperation on his face.
"Do you wanna stop?" Jennifer tried to mask the agony in her voice. In just four days, he deteriorated this far. Nothing is working.
"I keep seeing a face, every time I close my eyes. I think it's my mother. I don't…I don't... recognize her. So long ago. She's saying words to me. I don't know them." Rodney tried to smile and then stopped.
Tears streamed down Jennifer's face because she lost the battle to hold them in any longer. The desire to run and pull him into her arms was great. The obsessed woman had not slept, nor eaten more than a few bites each day and spent hours pouring over all types of Ancient texts, Michael's database and even information Carson had collected from the Hoffans and other Pegasus cultures he had visited. None of them mentioned a cure for the ailment called, Second Childhood.
DAY 15
"You can go ahead, Rodney," Jennifer said as she settled the camera into place for another recording. Each day was getting worse. Rodney was confined to the infirmary. Two nights ago, he ran through the corridors looking for John and terrified Jennifer. She had gone to her quarters for a quick shower only to return to find him gone. The Colonel brought him back after they spent some time together. John looked really upset, but brushed her off when she tried to speak to him. I'm not part of his team, so why would he talk to me. After that night, Jennifer did not leave the infirmary for anything. The physician used the shower in the back of the staff room.
"I don't remember where to start," Rodney looked around blankly.
"Sure you do," Jennifer said gently.
"No."
"Start with your name, like we've been doing, okay, and we'll just go from there," Jennifer said.
"My name. My name ... is Mister Rodney McKay," Rodney said looking around
"No."
"Yes," Rodney
"Come on, now. You're Doctor McKay, remember?" Jennifer tried hard to keep her voice steady.
"No. I'm ... I'm not any more. I'm not s-sm-smart any more. Doctors are smart, so I'm ... Mister now," Rodney said shaking his head.
"Okay." I don't want to upset him.
"I used to be the smartest person ever, and ... and now, and now I'm not," Rodney said looking around and not meeting her eyes any longer.
"That's what we're trying to fix, right?"
"No, you can't fix me," he says in anger.
"You know we're trying our very best," Jennifer could barely keep herself together and not break down in front of him.
"No, you can't, you can't, you can't fix me," he said getting more upset.
"It's okay. Rodney, what's the next thing you're supposed to say?" I'm losing him.
"Where, where'd John go?" Rodney yelled looking around.
"He just had to go away for a few minutes. He'll be right..."
"John!" Rodney continued to scream.
"Rodney. Rodney, I'm your friend. I'm right here," Jennifer's heart was broken. She imagined the Second Childhood was like Alzheimer's Disease in that newer memories faded first. John had been Rodney's friend for much longer than her. He's forgotten me.
"Where are you, John? John!" Rodney started getting out of the seat and Jennifer was forced to push him back and restrain him while she called for John on the radio. His best friend and team leader's presence calmed him and once John arrived, Jennifer had to go to compose herself. A part of her felt the battle was over, but she vowed to fight until it was really finished.
DAY 16
Jennifer was asked to join Ronon, Teyla and John in Mister Woolsey's office. Ronon had an idea. Jennifer was not quick to dismiss more traditional treatments; perhaps there was a plant like the one that cured Kirsan Fever available. Unfortunately, saving Rodney's live was not what the meeting was about.
"It's on a planet called Talus. It's one of the original worlds of the Ancestors. It took us about five or six hours to get there from the Gate, but I was just a kid and my grandfather had to be carried most of the way. We can do it in about half that time," Ronon was explaining.
"There's a small problem with that plan," John interjected.
"The Wraith established a major outpost there during the Replicator war. It's still there," Woolsey said.
Ronon continued to press his case with Woolsey, but he did not seem to be buying it, which was fine with Jennifer. She was having trouble holding her tongue much longer. They had already written Rodney off. Anger like she had never felt before filled her. Along with her near exhaustion, she was not a pleasant person to be around. "No, but you did say that people afflicted with McKay's condition suddenly revert to their former selves for...."
She listened to Teyla explain the legend and then Ronon and Woolsey talking, but she was not really hearing them. When the conversation turned to Sheppard's suggestion of a plan to take Rodney to Talus, it was the final straw. They are not taking him to die on some rock when I can still save him here. "I'm sorry, but he's not going anywhere without my permission, and you won't get that until we talk to Rodney."
Jennifer refused to allow them to haul him away from the infirmary. The state-of-the art equipment would not fail her. To let him live one day as himself before death would be the worst torture she could imagine for the man she loved. The more this disease progressed and the closer to losing him she was, the more she recognized the feelings she had for him as love. Unfortunately, her realization was too late.
Rodney sat in bed in the isolation room, looking around blankly. Jennifer walked in and smiled at him. "Hey, Rodney. You've got some visitors. John's here. So are Teyla and Ronon. Your whole team."
"Ronon Dex," he stated in a child-like fashion.
"That's right, buddy. I wanna take you to a place… a place that's gonna give you a chance to be yourself again for a little while," Ronon said smiling as he patted Rodney's leg.
"As you were before you became ill," Teyla added smiling sweetly at her teammate.
"Before," Rodney said.
"Hey, pal," John said smiling as he came close.
"Hey ... John," Rodney smiled at his friend.
"Truth is, uh, we don't know exactly what's gonna happen to you but we're willing to try if you are," John said.
"Okay," Rodney replied clearly not knowing what he was responding to.
"Okay. Okay. Well, that settles it then," John said looking around.
"No, it doesn't. Rodney, they haven't told you everything." She wanted to throw them all out of the infirmary. They call themselves his friends. They already have him dead.
"He doesn't need to know." Ronon glared at the doctor, but she held her ground.
"The planet they want to take you to is a Wraith outpost. You remember who the Wraith are?" She said to him as he stared at her with blank blue eyes. Her heart was breaking but it only fed her anger with the others. "It means going will be very, very dangerous, not just for you but for your friends."
"We're willing to take that risk," John said.
"A risk for which… and I'm sorry, even if it works, which I very much doubt... you might revert to your former self for one day. Now forgive me if that sounds more like torture than a blessing. We're still coming up with new ideas on how to treat this thing, but if you do this... if you leave Atlantis..." Jennifer could barely get herself to finish the sentence.
"Lantis." Rodney appeared to recognize the name.
"It's over. I can't help you." I refuse to allow it.
"Doctor," Teyla asks as Rodney mumbles the numbers of Pi. "He doesn't understand."
"No, he doesn't, which means the decision on whether or not to let him go is mine. And I haven't given up on trying to cure my patient," Jennifer stated as she walked back to Rodney's bedside smiling at him and gently stroking the back of his neck and hair.
Jennifer allowed few people to see Rodney after that. It was as if she needed to spend all the time she could with him because she knew their days were numbered. She would not consciously admit it, but when she fell asleep in her office she would awaken with thoughts of him dying.
DAY 18
Jennifer did not know why she bothered with the camera, but it seemed to calm Rodney to look into it each day. At this point she went through her days in a mindless haze, the only thing that mattered was finding a cure for him. The rest of her staff noticed her obsession but not one of them complained about their extra workload to Woolsey. They remembered how she fought for Elizabeth, Carson and the Athosians who were mutated by Michael. They all respected and admired her too much to not let her be.
Rodney gazed into the camera vaguely with tears in his eyes and said good-bye to his sister, Teyla, Ronon and John. His farewells were accompanied by little waves like a child. Seeing tears in his eyes caused Jennifer to run from the room sobbing after he said good-bye to her. He had not said her name in days and she knew he did not remember her, but a part of him still must have known she was someone he once knew. I will not say good-bye. This cannot be happening.
A short while later, Mister Woolsey called her to tell her that Jeannie Miller arrived and they are heading to her lab. Jennifer had never met Jeannie but felt like she had. Rodney spoke about his sister and niece often. Even asking Jennifer for gift ideas for the holidays. At any other time, she would have been excited to meet the only living member of Rodney's family. But not like this.
"Why the hell didn't you tell me my brother was this far gone?" Jeannie Miller said angrily to Woolsey after watching the video from Day 15.
"It happened pretty fast, Jeannie," Sheppard said.
"No, I... I got a message from him just a couple of weeks ago. He seemed perfectly fine. He'd never been so nice," Jeannie sounded shocked.
"That would've been shortly after he became infected. I didn't recognize the symptoms in time," Jennifer said trying not to break down. His sister was angry and had every right to be. The doctor had failed her brother.
"It's not your fault, Doc," John said.
"Frankly, Mrs. Miller, we contacted you as soon as we became aware of the seriousness of his condition. In fact, Daedalus dropped you off at the first available Gate in Pegasus because we were concerned that you wouldn't make it here in time. We thought you deserved a chance to say good-bye," Woolsey said gently as Jeannie stared at him.
Jennifer took some time reminding Rodney of his sister and knelt in front of him touching his hand for a while. Her touch seemed to calm him and she was more than happy to provide some small comfort with her physical presence. Smiling at Jeannie when the woman entered, Jennifer stayed in the rear of the room. By the end of their visit, it took every once of medical training and strength she ever had to keep from sobbing uncontrollably as Jeannie and Rodney spoke.
Later that evening, Jennifer sat watching the video log from Day 6 of Rodney's infection. It was when he said he loved her. She found herself watching it repeatedly. He had stared into her eyes and looked so honest and truthful. Trying to hold back tears, she jumped when a knock on the door frame drew her out of her thoughts. Looking, she saw the same blue eyes as the ones on the video looking at her. Quickly turning off the screen with Jeannie's brother's face on it, she addressed Jeannie. "Jeannie, I wasn't expecting anyone this late."
"Yeah. I'm kind of one of those people who needs all the information they can get," Jeannie said waving her hands around just like her brother.
"So I've heard. Rodney told me a lot of stories about the two of you," Jennifer said trying to smile as she led the woman to a large monitor.
"Really?" Jeannie was very surprised to hear that. Why would Mer tell his doctor about me?
"This is his most recent scan," Jennifer said while pointing to a small black mass which extended long tendrils into the image of Rodney's brain on the screen. "This dark area that looks like a tumor is actually a parasitic organism. Its tendrils spread far beyond any hope of surgical extraction and it's not responding to treatment. Even stasis barely slowed its progression. There are still a number of drug combinations that..."
"He was infected somehow on his last mission?" Jeannie interrupted.
"Well, maybe, but not necessarily. It was too small to show up on a scan at the time; but in the Pegasus galaxy the condition is fairly common among the very old." Jennifer could not keep her self-doubt out of her voice.
"Right, so why him?" Jeannie asked.
"It's possible we're all exposed to it and fight it off. Rodney was already suffering from a viral infection when he went on the mission at M44-5YN and then all that time in freezing water..." Jennifer filled in the other woman. During review of Rodney's blood work, Jennifer saw that Rodney had a cold before he went to M445YN. I should have noticed at breakfast that morning.
"So his resistance was low." Jeannie said.
"The parasite doesn't so much kill cells as render them dormant for reasons I still don't completely understand, but the net result is ever diminishing brain function. As it spreads, he'll lose motor control, regulation of organ function..." Jennifer could not continue to list Rodney's deterioration to ultimate death.
"Ronon's people call the disease Second Childhood," Jeannie said abruptly.
"You talked to Ronon." Jennifer turned away, exasperated. This is not something I want to deal with again.
"Yes," Jeannie replied obviously annoyed.
"Okay, I know what he's told you..." Jennifer started.
"That he's dying and there's nothing you can do," Jeannie said angrily.
"No. He's dying and I'm doing everything I can." Jennifer's voice broke as she spoke. Calm down, she's a scientist. Reason with her.
"I have to ask you: why did you tell me you didn't recognize the symptoms in time?" Jeannie said accusingly.
"Because he was already showing the symptoms when he came back from the mission and I didn't see it." Jennifer tried to hide her shame as she related some of the story about their dinner leaving out the flirting.
"If I wasn't so taken by the new Rodney McKay, the parasite might have been small enough for me to operate without causing significant brain trauma. By the time he started to forget, it was too late. I haven't given up on trying to find a treatment," Jennifer said while pacing in the lab.
"Ronon told me about this place that could give Mer one more day as himself again before he dies." Jeannie was surprised by the look of guilt on the young doctor's face. It appeared as if she blamed herself for this. Of course, all doctors think they are God.
"Jeannie, you can't possibly believe..." Jennifer said.
"And that you're the one who won't let him go. And you still haven't given up," Jeannie interrupted getting annoyed at the young woman.
"No, because I don't think the damage to the cells is permanent, which means if I can safely remove the parasite..." Jennifer explained starting to get desperate.
"How long have you been at it? Weeks? And how many days does he have left? What, two at most? Look, I know you've done everything you can. I know you feel responsible and you wanna keep trying but... I'm his next of kin. That makes the decision mine. And we're taking him." Jeannie did not want to debate the doctor nor hear her ideas to experiment on her brother any longer. She wanted to fight with her brother one last time. To tell him she loved him and that her daughter loved him. Mer is going to die with his family, not in a cold hospital with someone who barely knows him.
"No, I won't allow it. He's my patient and I still have ideas to try. If you take him from me, you'll be killing him. I don't care if you're his sister. You're just like the others. Am I the only one who had not written him off as dead!" Jennifer was screaming by the time she was done. Marie, the head nurse, knew something was wrong, but did not realize her boss was this upset. She radioed for Woolsey to come to the infirmary.
"Listen, I'm sorry if you can't save him. I know you doctors always want to come swooping in and save the day like some superhero, but my brother is dying and I want to say good-bye. I want to look him in the eye and have him know who I am. You are just his doctor. You have no rights," Jeannie was screaming too. Can't take him from me? Who the hell does she think she is? Jeannie was beside herself with anger. She was ready to go and physically remove her brother from his bed.
"I am not playing God. I am trying to save the man…" Jennifer was interrupted by the firm voice of Mister Woolsey.
"Doctor Keller! What is going on? I would like to see you in your office immediately!" His voice left no room for argument.
Jennifer stopped and glared at Rodney's sister who glared back. As she followed Woolsey to her office, she felt embarrassment wash over her. I screamed at Rodney's sister. A woman I once hoped to become great friends with. Because of her sleep-deprivation and lack of food, she was not thinking straight. Perhaps if I took care of myself, I could have done more.
"Doctor Keller, what is the meaning of this? Mrs Miller was rushed here to say good-bye to her brother. If she wishes to do that on Talus, it's her decision. Not yours. You are a doctor, you know that. I realize you and Doctor McKay were good friends, but that can't cloud your judgment. Please don't make me have to report this." He could see the exhaustion on her face. Why didn't we notice it? This obsession is just like the one with Doctor Beckett. He felt a pang of guilt himself. He took her for granted. Doctor Keller will always be there to fix any problem. She was human, too. And she was facing the fact that she could not save a friend.
"Jennifer, I can see you have put all your energy into finding a cure the last three weeks, but now is time to let go. Jeannie and Sheppard's team are going to Talus tomorrow morning. I think you want to go with them," Woolsey said gently seeing the young woman's shoulders sag as she nodded. "Very well. Get some rest and then help get Doctor McKay ready for the trip. I will speak with Mrs Miller."
Jennifer could not speak; she lost all her anger and was filled with an empty void. To even consider leaving with Rodney tomorrow morning and to bring his body back tomorrow night turned her stomach. If she did not stop the thought immediately she was going to vomit all over Woolsey.
Once Woolsey had left, Jennifer slumped onto the floor of her office and stared at the side of her desk. It was over. She had lost. During her medical and research career she had never lost. Of course she lost patients, but it was never something in her control. They were too injured in the accident. There bodies were not cared for so she could not save them. Her research projects had all been successful. She was close to developing a gene therapy to stop Wraith feeding after about eighteen months of working on it. But the only thing in all her life that has ever truly mattered besides her parents was being taken from her because she failed. If she looked at his brain scan that evening instead of messing around eating and flirting with him, it might have been small enough to operate then. She had reached the point where she had no tears left; they had been shed too often over the last eighteen days.
There would be some for tomorrow, she knew. Tomorrow she was going to tell Rodney how she felt before he died. He might not understand, but she owed the man she loved that knowledge and she was also going to finish that kiss. It did not matter anymore that she crossed the doctor/patient boundary. I love him and want him to die knowing that fact.
Jeannie was upset as she prepared to say good-bye to her brother. She thought Jennifer's actions were way overboard. People consider Mer arrogant. She thinks of her patients are her own property to do what she wants to do with. Woolsey called her a dedicated doctor, I call her a power-hungry… A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. She turned to see Radek Zelenka in the doorway.
"Radek, how are you?"
"I was going to ask you the same," the Czech said as he gave her a hug.
"Been a lot better. Have you heard?" Jeannie moved to allow Radek to enter.
"Yes, but Woolsey will not let me go. I don't think I really want to…" He could not finish the sentence.
"I know. You can stop by to say… you know… before we leave," Jeannie said still unable to say the words.
"Yes, I will." He glanced at his feet and pushed his glasses up his nose. "Jeannie, I feel I need to tell you something."
Radek did not know how to bring this up, but everyone had heard about the fight between Jennifer and Jeannie. How interesting that the two most important women in Rodney's life fought over him as soon as they met? Radek was not the clueless scientist his friend was. He had loved and lost in his youth. He recognized the symptoms of Rodney and Jennifer's unrequited love for each other.
"What is it?" Jeannie could see he was concerned and also a little embarrassed.
"I heard you and Jennifer… I mean… Doctor Keller had a disagreement." He finally met her eyes.
"Boy news travels fast around here," Jeannie replied as she leaned against the desk crossing her arms.
"Yes, well… she has not been herself since this happened. I know she blames herself and there is nothing anyone can say to make her believe otherwise. She has spent all her time trying to save Rodney and nothing we try has worked," the Czech explained.
"Yes, I get it. She's dedicated, but she told me, his sister, that I did not deserve the chance to say good-bye."
"I can assure you she would not say something like that under normal circumstances."
"I realize this is…" Jeannie could not finish because he interrupted her again.
"Let me finish. You do not understand." He paused pushing his glasses up his nose again. "They love each other."
"What!" Jeannie was shocked. That beautiful young doctor and Mer?
"I do not believe either knows it, but they are in love. I am a friend to both of them and I see it. The way they look at each other when the other is not looking. The way they work and talk and joke around. I know for a fact that after five years I have never seen Rodney react to anyone like he does Jennifer. He trusts her implicitly. He will not even allow Carson to treat him anymore. Whatever she says, he believes," Radek paused to stare into her shocked face. "If you could see them together, like they were, you would see it, too. Jennifer is like my younger sister and is, what is the term, 'head over heels' for him. If you look, you'll notice it right away. Anyways… Rodney loves both of you and as a gift to him… I need to make sure you two get along."
That night, Jeannie slept very little. She could not believe her brother had found someone to care about him, love him even, and was going to die. The concept brought more tears to her eyes.
Day 19
The next day she decided to look at Jennifer in a slightly different light. Instead of viewing her as a doctor with a God complex, she would look at her like a woman losing the man she loves.
Jeannie arrived at the infirmary a little early to escort Rodney to the jumper. For her brother's sake, she was going to beg Jennifer to accompany them. She did not think for a moment that Radek would make up the tale and she did notice Rodney glancing at Jennifer often during their meeting yesterday.
The sight before Jeannie's eyes caused her to stop in her tracks and tears to well-up once again. Jennifer was already dressed to go. There was a medical pack on the floor next to the bed and she was in a black leather jacket. Rodney's clothing, also black, were on the bed near his feet. She saw her brother's blank expression staring up at Jennifer. The doctor's cheeks were wet from the distance and she was speaking softly to Rodney. Jeannie edged a little closer, feeling awful for intruding but desperate to find out Jennifer's feelings.
"We're going on a nice jumper ride today. It will be nice to get out in the fresh air. Your sister and the team is going."
"John?"
"Yes, John is flying us there. You always…liked to… fly." The doctor wiped tears from her face.
"Fly." Rodney said in the voice of a child.
Jennifer put one hand behind his head to stroke his neck and hair, her soft sobs could be heard by Jeannie, who felt tears flowing down her own cheeks. With a look of absolute love on her face, Jennifer leaned over to press a brief kiss to Rodney's lips. He did not respond other than to follow her face with his eyes as she backed up.
"We've got to get this uniform on before we go. I'm going to have someone come to help." Jennifer's voice cracked during the sentence.
Jeannie backed up around the corner leaning against the wall and crying. Radek was right. Jennifer loved her brother. She saw Radek coming down the corridor and wiped at her eyes and cheeks.
"Jennifer is getting him ready to go. It shouldn't take a minute." Jeannie managed to say without choking up.
"That is okay. I do not have much time. I wanted to get you to the jumper," the Czech said.
Radek and Jeannie entered the infirmary to find Jennifer standing next to Rodney who was seated in a wheel chair.
"Radek. Jeannie." Jennifer nodded to them both. She did not trust herself to say much, especially to Jeannie. She could not believe the woman would do this to her brother, but knew she had to accept it.
"Jennifer, do you have a moment?" Jeannie said.
"Sure." They stepped to one side while Radek kneeled next to his boss.
"Listen, I'm sorry I yelled at you yesterday. It was a lot to take in and…" Jeannie paused, "I hope you can forgive me. I know how much…"
"No problem. Let's go." Jennifer brushed past Jeannie. I don't want to do this now. She had hoped to some day meet her and become friends with this woman. That was a daydream about a life you will never have. Pressure built up behind her eyes again as she walked back to Rodney smiling gently at him. Zelenka started to push the wheelchair out of the infirmary.
Jeannie was angry momentarily but seeing the expression on Jennifer's face as she smiled at Rodney she could not be angry. What must she be going through? She fought to save him and now must let him go without ever saying how she felt.
Jennifer saw Jeannie looking at her with such compassion on her face that Jennifer felt foolish. Jeannie was losing her big brother. She was losing the man she loved, but never was brave enough to tell. Now as he faces death, I find courage. She closed her eyes against the pain. I have to be strong until this is over. Perhaps I can journey back to Earth with Jeannie. She could not imagine Atlantis without…
A call came over her earwig. "Time to go," came Sheppard's voice.
Jennifer and Jeannie sat on either side of a bewildered Rodney in the rear of a Jumper as the others entered. Ronon looked at Jennifer.
"Oh, I thought you didn't believe?" Ronon said.
"Is that a prerequisite?" She glared at him. The last she needed was attitude from Rodney's team.
"We're glad you're here," Jeannie said as she looked around Rodney. A smile passed between the women as they recognized the other's pain.
Jennifer took Rodney's right hand in hers and smiled at him trying to convey her love for him through the look. Hoping he would know what he meant to her. He stared at her blankly forcing her to look at the floor to keep from crying.
"All right. We're either gonna get away with this or we're not." John looked back. "If we don't, the ride's gonna be wild and it's gonna be fast, so I need everyone prepared."
The journey was uneventful for them. Jennifer held Rodney's hand as long as she could trying to burn the feel of his slightly calloused hand into her mind. His hand engulfed her smaller one and she wished their future could have been different than it was going to be. Glancing at the Marines seated across from them in the jumper, she saw the looks of sadness on their faces. Obviously, everyone now knows how I feel about him.
Once they left the jumper, Rodney's team took the lead in helping him to climb up to the cave. It was obvious to Jennifer that they did not want her there. They were a family and she was not a member of it.
Rodney's frightened questions and small sobs tore at Jennifer's heart once they arrived in the cave. Listening to the others was tearing her up inside.
"So, what do we do?" Jeannie asked Ronon.
"We wait," the Satedan stated.
"Rodney, look at the waterfall. It's cool, huh?" John said like he was speaking to a child.
"No!" Rodney's broken voice could be heard.
Jennifer walked around the cave, looking at an Ancient scanner to keep busy and trying hard not to cry at how lost and alone Rodney seemed. "I'm getting very faint energy readings."
"What kind of energy readings?" Jeannie asked walking over to her.
"I'm not sure," The physician said. Jeannie seemed to have warmed to her after seeing her holding her brother's hand. As they both looked at the scanner, Teyla walked to a natural-looking column in the middle of the cave and touched it.
"Radiation?" Jennifer offered showing Jeannie the readings.
"Not that I've ever seen," Jeannie replied.
Jennifer was concerned. It really looked like radiation at a pretty high level. If this were accurate they would not be able to stay longer than five or six hours before they would be exposed.
"Maybe we can ask Rodney in a minute," John said watching the two female geniuses.
"John!" Rodney cried out.
"Just hang in there, buddy," John said.
"I wanna go home now!" Rodney demanded like a child.
"Perhaps he should stand closer to this tablet," Teyla said.
"I, I, I don't know. I think that's the source of these energy readings," Jennifer said with concern in her voice as she watched John push Rodney toward the column.
"I wanna go now!" Rodney cried.
"A little bit longer," John said with his hand on his friend's back.
Rodney suddenly screamed and put his clenched fists up to his head. Jennifer and Jeannie ran to him, but Jeannie got there first, holding him as he screamed again. Then he fell silent and slowly straightened up. He looked around for a moment, then stared at his sister. "Jeannie?"
"I'm here, Mer," Jeannie said.
"Yeah, obviously," Rodney said in his normal voice.
"He's back," John said smiling.
"Will somebody please tell me what the hell we're all doing here?" McKay growled at them while looking around the cave.
Jennifer stood in shock. The clarity of Rodney's eyes and the fact that he spoke in sentences meant that he was indeed back. The arrogant strength that he always had was there. Her heart leaped for a moment with joy. It was only a moment because the reality of the situation hit her once again. How did that happen? I mean if he ate or drank something I could see perhaps something to attack and neutralize the parasite, but we only stood around this weird cave. She was so surprised and taken aback that she could not speak.
"Well, you can start with: what is this place?" He said while he paced around the cave.
"It's the Shrine of Talus," Ronon answered.
"That means nothing to me," Rodney said.
"It's a planet of the Ancestors. We brought you here," Ronon said.
"Thank you, Mister Information. Look, since when did he become Ronon the Explainer? And why am I not in the Infirmary, huh? What, am I better?" Rodney's eyes brightened as he realized he was better. "I am better!"
"No, you're not." She found her voice, but could not continue. To hear the man she loved acting like his old self was so bittersweet that she had to hold herself from running to kiss him.
"No, I am. I can feel it. This is amazing." Rodney said smiling at her.
"Mer, we brought you here so we could have a chance to say goodbye to each other. You're only gonna feel like this for about a day that's just how it works, so..." Jeannie said.
"Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, what?" Rodney said shaking his head.
"What do you remember?" John asked.
"I remember you not wanting me to say goodbye then. Why now, all of a sudden? Look, why one day? What's with that?" Rodney glared at John.
Jennifer held her breath as she waited to see if he remembered anything else, like his profession of love or their shared moments.
"It is the gift of the Shrine, and from all of us who risked great danger to bring you here. One last chance to be with those you love," Teyla explained.
"And then what?" Rodney asked. When no one answered and Jennifer looked away, he realized the answer himself.
"I die?" He yelled at them all.
"With honor," Ronon said.
"And dignity," Teyla said.
"Yeah, well, screw that. I'll just stay here." He looked around like he was ready to settle in the cave.
"Doesn't work that way," said Ronon.
"Why not?" The physicist asked his teammates.
"Well, this is a Wraith-controlled planet," said John.
"And we're detecting ionizing radiation," Jeannie said looking around at the others. "In fact, we shouldn't be standing this close to the Shrine."
"You've gotta be kidding me!" He screams at Jennifer. "How could you let them do this to me?"
Jennifer wanted to scream as she shook her head. I didn't want to do it. But seeing him, being himself was worth it even is he hated her. Before she could attempt to explain anything, Jeannie jumped in.
"Don't blame her. She didn't even wanna do this." Jeannie stepped between her brother and the doctor.
"Well, then, whose brilliant idea was it?" Rodney asked looking to the others.
"Mine." Ronon crossed his arms and stared at his teammate.
"We all thought it was a good thing," John said.
"How could this possibly be a good thing? Look, I got past the humiliation; I've said my good-byes." Anguish was in his voice.
"Meredith, I'm sorry this happened to you, but I'm not sorry that I got this chance. Please just try to see this as an opportunity and not..." Jeannie tried to explain.
"A torture?" He said through gritted teeth.
At the use of her exact words 'a torture', she needed to get away. Needing a distraction, she turned and looked at the readings on her scanner. .How is this happening? What's causing this? Her genius mind was racing. They had about six hours before they would be facing radiation exposure. Think. Think. Radiation?
She walked away from the others and their conversation with Rodney to move around the column. Trying to collect her thoughts. She moved behind the column where the readings increased. It was close to Rodney and Jeannie.
"Please don't be mad at me," Jeannie asked.
"Ah, I guess if I had to choose the people I would spend my last day with, then..." Rodney's eyes drifted over his sister to Doctor Jennifer Keller.
Jeannie smiled and followed her brother's eyes to Jennifer, who was scanning the central column again. Radek was right. She saw a look she'd never imagined she would see in Mer's eyes, love. However, before that line of thought can go any further, Rodney noticed Jennifer's perplexed expression.
Jennifer could become as absorbed as Rodney when something had her confused. What is going on? The radiation is highest near the shrine.
"What is it?" He asked addressing her for the first time without anger in his voice.
"Honestly, I... I didn't expect it to work. I expected nothing would happen and that would be that, so why did it? You don't believe in magic shrines any more than I do," Jennifer turned to face the man she loved and took a breath to steady her racing heart. I'll tell him in a little while. It doesn't feel right, now.
"Show him the readings," Jeannie said to her.
Jennifer handed him the scanner. He took it and swung it around the room and it beeped as he aimed it at the column. She swallowed and waited for Rodney to offer up an idea that would spark her own. It was how they worked feeding off of each others ideas.
"Hmm." Rodney
"That's what I said," Jeannie said.
"You said, "Hmm"?" He said sarcastically to his sister.
"I just meant that I thought it was weird too. So, what do you think: antimatter?" Jeannie said.
"Or a super-heavy element the Ancients used to use as an energy source. I've never seen it before," Rodney offered.
"Or created to power whatever this place used to be," Jeannie said.
"Well, who can tell what that is? It must be thousands of years since..." He trailed off as he looked at the scanner.
"Whoa. Did you see that spike?" Rodney said.
"Come on. This is your party. Let's have some fun," Ronon called to him.
"Hey, for me, this is fun. Just save me some ham. Oh, there it goes again! It's like some kind of intermittent gamma that's..." Rodney waved the scanner again.
That's it! Jennifer reached out and took the scanner from him. "Come with me."
"What? Why?" Rodney stammered a bit.
Jennifer took his arm and led him to the exit of the cave. "Because I need to find out something."
"Well, where are we going?" Rodney asked.
"Hopefully, all the way back to Atlantis." Please let it be what I think. For the first time almost three weeks, Jennifer felt a twinge of hope.
They walked into the shaft leading out of the mountain. The moment they left the cave Rodney clutched his head and screamed, doubling up in agony. John raced over and helped Jennifer bring him back into the cave and near the column.
"Sorry." Jennifer
"Why did you do that?" Jeannie asked angrily.
"To determine whether the parasite would expand rapidly back into his brain when we took him from the radiation source, and I think it did." Jennifer could not keep the excitement from her voice even though Rodney was still clutching his head and groaning.
"The reason why his symptoms disappeared when we came here was because it contracted to protect itself," Jennifer said.
"All right. Well, what does it mean for us?" John asked.
"That leaving this chamber will probably kill him. We can't take him back to Atlantis. So we're gonna have to find a way for me to operate on him right here." With hope, Jennifer found her confidence coming back. It must be small enough now. He is entirely himself, not any personality change at all. I can do this.
"I thought you already tried radiation," John said.
"I did, but we'd never come across this kind before. The parasite is radiosensitive to it; that's why the Shrine works. You feel fine for one day until the radiation starts making you feel sick, and then you leave..." Jennifer said talking rapidly like Rodney.
"The further away you get, the more rapidly the parasite expands back into your brain…" Jeannie came over and finished Jennifer's thoughts like her brother often did.
"And your day's over. I get it. So, for here, it's small enough to operate?" John asked.
"Well, I'm guessing here, but that's the only thing I can think of that would explain his sudden remission; but I'm not gonna know for certain until I get in there," Jennifer explained.
"How're you gonna manage that with a field kit?" John asked.
"I don't. We would have to bring equipment back from Atlantis," Jennifer said.
"Well, that's a problem," the Colonel said.
"What if we radio Atlantis and ask them to send a second Jumper through with what I need?"
"No, we can't."
"I need that equipment, John." She tried to keep the panic from returning to her voice.
"Look, the Wraith are never gonna fall for the same trick twice. Even if somehow they don't pick up on our radio signal and even if the second Jumper makes it through the gauntlet, they're gonna know we're here. We're never gonna make it back to Atlantis," John explained looking as frustrated as her.
"If we don't try, he's dead." We can't go through this and lose him in the end.
"Well, what do you need?" Sheppard asked.
"To operate? I already told you," Jennifer said.
"No. Bare minimum, what do you need?" John asked again.
"More than I have in my medical kit. I mean, I'd need a scanner to find out the location of the parasite; I'd need the proper tools to cut his skull open..." Jennifer was rattling off her list and promising a field surgical kit was going on all jumpers in the future.
"All right. I've got an idea." John turned to Jeannie, "Keep him as far away from this thing as he can stand. We'll be back in twenty minutes."
John and Jennifer ran through the trees to the Jumper. Jennifer tried to remember what inside a jumper for supplies.
Once they got there, she grabbed down blankets and pulled the first aid kit off the wall to grab painkillers and sterilization materials. She looked around for other supplies. "John, we'll need those spotlights."
John got a box out of netting in the rear compartment and put it on the bench, opened it and took out a power drill and a hammer. Jennifer gave John a questionable look. He's got to be kidding.
"Well, I've seen surgical drills… they're not that much different." John appeared to read her mind.
"You're right. I just hope the battery packs are all charged. I'd hate to be halfway through his skull and run out of juice. Better bring them all, but I still have no way of knowing where the parasite has contracted to. I need some type of scanner," Jennifer said realizing she needed to try something.
Sighing, John looked around the Jumper, then got another idea, put the tools down, went to the front console and grabbed the life signs detector. "We can use this."
"A life signs detector?"
"Yeah. Why not?" John asked.
"Well, it's just not designed to do what I need it to do on the correct scale," Jennifer tried to explain.
"Well, we'll have Jeannie modify it."
"Okay. Let's do this." These were her tools and she had to make it work. She made a vow that she would not let Rodney die.
John and Jennifer return to explain the situation to Rodney.
"We've got equipment for Jennifer to do the surgery here." John brandished the cordless drill and scanner, causing Rodney to look mortified.
"Absolutely not!" Rodney yelled.
"We're talking about saving your life," Jeannie said.
Rodney walked over to John, took the power drill from him and brandished it at him. "Look, my brain is not some new deck off the back of your house!"
"I'm not the one doing the surgery!" John yelled.
"Yeah," He turned to Jennifer. "And as my parting advice, you need to stop one of these guys talking you into stupid things."
"I can do it, Rodney." I really can. Please believe me. She begged him with her eyes.
"Really?" He looked and sounded nervous, which was an improvement from the panic of the previous moment.
"Yes. Do you trust me?" Jennifer held her breath for the answer to the question, not understanding why she asked it.
"Absolutely," Rodney replied staring intently into her eyes.
"Well, I can do this." Jennifer stared back. As always, his confidence in her ability increased her own confidence.
Jeannie was floored. Did he just tell another human being that he trusted them absolutely? "And I'm fairly sure I can modify the life signs detector."
"Yeah, with my help," Rodney said looking away from Jennifer for a moment.
"So help," Jeannie said.
Rodney turned back to Jennifer, cringing at the thought of what he would ask. "Look, this isn't one of those P.B.S. brain surgeries where my skull is wide open and we're having a conversation?"
"I have enough anesthetic to put you out. You're not gonna feel a thing." Jennifer felt hope flooding through her system. She just knew if the parasite were small she would be able to get it out.
"It's probably a hammer," Rodney said.
"Time is of the essence, Rodney. You need to make a decision," Teyla prompted.
"Please, Mer. Let us try," Jeannie pleaded.
"Look, obviously I'd get around to consenting. It's just, you've, you've thrown an awful lot at me all at once," Rodney said looking around at them.
Jennifer was holding her breath. If he says no, I'll use that hammer and do it anyways.
"That's life," Ronon said.
"All right, well let me have a little ham," Rodney said.
Jennifer had to hold her grin in. She wanted to throw her arms around him, but knew she needed to focus on the surgery.
"No. No food before surgery," John said.
Rodney looked at Jennifer with pleading eyes: Please. Just one piece.
"When this is over, I'll cook you a five-course meal," Jennifer said smiling at him.
"Really?" Rodney asked with surprise on his face.
"Absolutely," Jennifer said with the first real smile had in several weeks.
"John, can you help assist me?" The physician called out to the pilot.
"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute. What's with Nurse Sheppard?" Rodney asked as he stopped removing his jacket to get ready for the surgery.
"Hey, I resent that. I'd look great in a…" John started.
"Rodney, he's a pilot. He has steady hands. I just need him to hold some things. That's all. Trust me," Jennifer explained to calm him down.
"Okay. But he better not touch the drill," Rodney said like a little boy worried his brother would take his toys.
"He won't. I promise." She smiled at him once again.
Jeannie had watched the two of them just as Radek mentioned and they looked like some bickering old couple who had been together for ages. It warmed her heart to think of the two of them together and got back to work on the scanner.
Rodney lay unconscious on a makeshift bed made from equipment brought from the Jumper. Seated on a box at the head of the bed and wearing surgical gloves, John held the modified life signs detector in one hand and pressed a dressing to the left hand side of Rodney's forehead. Seated on another box, Jennifer picked up a pen and started to make marks on the right hand side of his forehead as John put the detector onto Rodney's chest where Jennifer can see it.
"I'm gonna have to cut here, here and here and drill those points to resect the area," Jennifer explained to the Colonel.
"Okay," John said with a little less confidence than he normally had.
"I don't wanna penetrate the dural layers until we get to that stage, so hold him as still as you can," Jennifer said looking at John's face.
"Go."
Using a scalpel, Jennifer started to cut into Rodney's forehead. John grimaced at the sight as she created a flap of skin and then, using forceps, peeled the flap open putting the scissors into John's left hand, which was holding Rodney's head steady. With another pair of scissors, she widened the hole and John carefully moved his right hand so that he took hold of the scissors. She reached down and picked up the power drill and started to drill.
After a short time, Rodney started to convulse gently, so Jennifer retracted the drill. "Maybe I've gone too far. Hold him steady." No. Not now. We've come so far.
"I'm trying," John said.
"It's the parasite. It's moving." She looked at the black blob moving on the life signs detector.
"Well, maybe it knows we're going after it," John offered.
"I don't think so. I think it instinctually wants to get away from the radiation source and we've just shown it the way out." She looked at the detector again, then turned to Ronon. "Ronon, we're gonna need that gun of yours in about ten seconds."
Ronon took his blaster out of its holster waiting for Jennifer pull it out of his teammate. As it wiggled on the ground, Ronon fired a single shot at it. Teyla and Jeannie ran over to the spot but nothing was left of the creature. John looked up at Ronon saying, "You could have stepped on it."
"She told me to shoot it," he said with his usual attitude.
Jennifer looked at the detector. "It's clear."
She wanted to jump up and down and shout for joy, but knew the longer they were all here the more they could be exposed to radiation. Not to mention the risk of infection for Rodney.
"You did a good job," Ronon smiled at her.
"Thanks. Nice shot." Jennifer smiled and said, "Let's get him home."
Rodney lay sleeping in a bed in the Infirmary with a dressing on his head. Jeannie sat at his bedside, drinking coffee and looking very tired.
"Why don't you go and get some sleep? I'm gonna be here all night." Jennifer walked over to the siblings.
"No, it's okay. I'd like to be here when he wakes up," Jeannie replied.
"Well, it could be a while. He does love to sleep, our Rodney!" Jennifer suddenly realized she referred to him as belonging to her as well as Jeannie and got scared.
"You should have seen him when he was a teenager," Jeannie said chuckling.
"Who can sleep with all the talking?" Rodney mumbled.
"Hi!" Jeannie said shifting in the chair.
"Hi," Rodney said smiling at his sister.
"You still, uh..." She gestured to her own head, "all there?"
"Well, there was so much to spare," he said smiling.
"Thank you," Rodney said looking up at Jennifer.
"You're welcome." She wanted to say I love you, but not with his sister there and not until she knew what he remembered.
"It was scary."
"For me too." Jennifer hoped she could tell him someday how scared she was at nearly losing the man she loved, but she was now back to waiting. "You hungry?"
"Peckish," Rodney replied.
"I'll go order you something," Jennifer replied as she and Jeannie shared a laugh.
Jeannie straightened the sheet on her brother's bed and looked to where Jennifer left the room. "She's pretty amazing."
"Yeah. I don't remember much from the past few weeks, but she seemed to always be there," Rodney said also staring after the doctor.
"That's what I heard as well. She's very… dedicated." Jeannie realized her brother was back to normal, which meant he was clueless about women. She decided she was going to have to get involved with bringing these two together.
Jennifer left the infirmary and headed to the mess hall herself to get the food. On the way, she called Woolsey, Radek and Sheppard. She told John they could visit him in the morning.
Jennifer went into the kitchen to get three trays together. She found some pot roast with veggies, rolls and chocolate pudding for Rodney, a vegetable quiche for Jeannie, and a ham and cheese sandwich for herself. She took the trays and water for everyone back up to the infirmary. She heard voices and saw Sheppard, Teyla, Ronon, and Radek in the room with Rodney. She was angry, but not too mad. "Nice of you to follow my orders, Colonel."
John looked sheepish. "Sorry. We're leaving now. Just wanted to…"
"Get out." She was smiling as she said it. She knew the feeling John had. He needed to see for himself that Rodney was okay. After they left, Jennifer brought over trays for Rodney and Jeannie.
"You didn't have to get me anything," Jeannie said.
"The vegetarian selections are slim, but they had a nice quiche this evening," Jennifer said setting the trays down.
"How did you…" Jeannie started looking shocked.
"Rodney was complaining for days after he came back from your house over the holidays," Jennifer said smiling at Jeannie. She felt so much better being on good terms with Rodney's sister.
"Hey!" He was stuffing food in his mouth already and could not say much else.
Jeannie and Jennifer laughed.
"Where's your food, Jennifer?" Jeannie asked.
"In my office." Jennifer did not want to intrude on the family affair.
"Why don't you eat with us?" Rodney asked after swallowing his mouth full.
Jennifer looked from Rodney to Jeannie. "No, I'll let you two…"
"Rodney would be dead without you. You can definitely eat with us. We want you to," Jeannie said.
"Okay," Jennifer said smiling.
When she sat down, Jeannie immediately began asking her all kind of questions about her family, where she was from, her thoughts on Atlantis, etc. Rodney would jump in with a few answers when Jennifer had a mouthful. She was shocked that he remembered little things like her graduating at fifteen and going straight to medical school, skipping college. About a half-hour later, Jennifer cleaned up the trays and got a blanket for Jeannie to settle onto an empty bed near her brother. She did not want to leave, but would not hang around with Jeannie there.
DAY 20
When she awoke the next morning after sleeping for six hours the first time in almost a month, her door chimed. She opened it to see Jeannie Miller.
"Hi, Jennifer, can I come in?" Jeannie asked.
Jennifer was surprised to see the other woman, so she nodded and stepped aside.
"I really wanted to apologize for what I said the other day," Jeannie said a she stepped into Jennifer's quarters.
"You don't need to…" Jennifer began only to be cut off.
"Yes I do. I accused you of being a doctor with a god complex." Jeannie was just like Rodney said she was; direct and to-the-point.
"Jeannie, really it's okay. Don't worry about it." She turned her back on Jeannie because her words were hitting too close to home. Her guilt at almost failing Rodney was still too great.
"Please let me finish," Jeannie pleaded.
"Listen, I almost killed Rodney, okay. I realize that and I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for…" Tears flowed down her cheek as the enormity of what almost happened overwhelmed her. Turning to dismiss Rodney's sister, Jennifer could not hold in her sobs as she saw the concern in Jeannie's blue eyes. "I need… Please, go. I need…"
After last evening, Jeannie considered Jennifer to be part of her family. She had wanted to have a sister all her life and Jennifer was exactly the type of sister she wanted. Stepping forward, she pulled the younger woman into her arms and let Jennifer cry on her shoulder. After some time, she went in for the kill. "Jennifer, I know that a woman will do anything for the man she loves. Even if it means taking on his family."
"What?" Jennifer pulled back quickly from Jeannie's hug with a look of pure terror on her face.
"I am a woman, Jennifer," Jeannie said with a grin on her face. "More specifically, I'm a woman madly in love with her husband. I see the same look in your eyes when you look at my brother."
"I… We're good friends. Just friends." Jennifer was horrified. This was Rodney's sister.
"Don't try to deny it and don't worry. I think only a couple people have figured it out. Unfortunately, my clueless brother is not one of them. It will probably take a two-by-four to his head." Jeannie stepped back and moved toward the sofa. "Come on. Sit down. Stop staring; you're making me feel like a bug under a microscope."
Jeannie was on the verge of losing control to laughter. She could imagine Meredith having the same expression if she ever confronted him. I'll keep that conversation until later.
"I'm not sure what you're referring to." Jennifer crossed her arms and looked defensive.
"I am 100% positive he feels the same way."
"What!" Atlantis's CMO said.
Jeannie was happy to see Jennifer's expression change from fear to shock. A big smile spread over Jeannie's face. "It's very obvious to me how he feels about you. Unfortunately my dense brother probably has no idea."
"Why would you say that?" Jennifer slid onto her sofa staring at Jeannie. Rodney felt the same way?
"Well my brother is not too observant when it comes to other people," Jeannie replied
"I know how dense he can be, but how do you know he feels the same way?" Jennifer paused realizing what she admitted and turned scarlet.
"You two are perfect for each other. How do I know he feels the same way? Jeez Jennifer, he let you perform brain surgery on him in a cave." Jeannie started laughing and Jennifer smiled a little.
"Well, he didn't really have a choice."
"You asked him if he trusted you and he said 'absolutely'. My brother has never trusted anyone in any galaxy 'absolutely'."
Jennifer paused at that comment. She had a point. Jennifer did not expect Rodney to answer her but he did. Maybe he did feel something for her.
"I see you might be smarter than my brother. Now, let's work on the seduction of Meredith Rodney McKay." Jeannie sat back and looked like she was preparing to plan her daughter's birthday party.
Jennifer blushed at Jeannie's choice of words. "I can tell you that seduction and Jennifer Keller don't go together."
"If you tried that type of seduction with my brother, he just might have a heart attack." Jeannie Miller and Jennifer Keller both laughed. The two women, who always wanted to have a sister to share things with, started planning the way to making their childhood wishes come true.
TBC