Disclaimer: I do not own Hannah Montana or any of the characters from the show.

Author's note: This story is written as a page from Miley Stewart's diary that she wrote a few weeks after she turned 30.

Miley and boys.

Dear Diary!

I'm Miley Stewart and I'm 30 years old. You probably think it's lame for a woman of my age to still write down stuff in a diary like a silly teen, but I can't say this to anyone. I'm not Hannah Montana anymore. Now I'm just Miley. A normal woman. Or as normal as I can ever be. I live in Malibu in the house I used to share with my dad and my brother Jackson. Oh, I guess you wanna know where they are. Jackson moved to Nashville 5 years ago with Sienna, his wife. Who ever thought that Jackson would get married before me? And dad, he is no longer with us. He died last year. I miss him every day. I've got my own talk-show on TV and Lilly is still my best friend.

Most people would say that I'm a very lucky woman, but I'm not. There's something I don't have. Love.

I've never had true love in my life.

All those guys. Josh, Jake, Trey, Travis, Conner, Gabe, Jesse, Johnny, Derek, Aaron, Austin and the others. I was never really in love with any of them.

Where shall I begin?

Johnny Collins, he was a cute and cool guy, but I was way too shy to ask him out. Later he won a date with Hannah, but Rico destroyed the whole thing and later ( as Miley ) I threw up in front of him.

Then there was Josh. That didn't go well either. He didn't like Hannah and in the end he hated both Miley and Hannah.

And then we have...

Jake Ryan.

At first I didn't wanna admit that I was hot for him. Eventually I did, but then it went all wrong. We broke up only to get back together later and then break up again.

Then there was Trey. The son of a rich man. Trey was nice and hot, but his parents didn't like me because I'm from Tennessee and because that makes me a country-girl.

Who's next?

Oh, Derek Hanson. He looked good, but he had no man-spirit.

Then there was Conner, the short one. He was nice, but I couldn't love him since he was short.

And Gabe LaMatti. I never even got to go on a date with him.

Aaron. I never really had a crush on him.

Austin. I just had to pretend to like him to sell more records.

Jesse. That didn't work out either.

Travis. That could have turned out really good, but I guess we weren't supposed to be each other's true love.

There's also been other guys over the years, but let's not go into details about them. I don't get it. Why can't I get a boyfriend who's in love with me?

The real me. Miley Ray Stewart. It shouldn't be that hard to find a good guy who's into me. I'm cute, nice, cool and hot.

I need a boyfriend who understands me. A boyfriend who's with me through the good and the bad. A boyfriend who's in love with the real me and not just Hannah Montana. A boyfriend who would be there for me no matter what and who could make me feel like I'm the best woman ever.

There is one guy who's always been there for me. Not only for me, but for Hannah too. You know who I'm talking about. Oliver Oscar Oken.

I haven't seen Oliver for 4 years. He's a police officer in Boston now. He broke up with Lilly when he made it into the police academy. Lilly was really sad when Oliver told her that he couldn't be her boyfriend anymore. Eventually Lilly found her true love. Dave Jenkins, a doctor.

I wanted to visit Oliver in Boston, but I never did. I don't know why. He doesn't love me anyway. He told me that I'm a very good friend, but that he doesn't have any romantic feelings for me. And he probably has a girlfriend already. Oliver can get a girlfriend. I've never told him, but he's actually a hottie.

Miley, Miley, Miley. Did you actually call Oliver a hottie? Get over it. You don't love him.

This is killing me. I need a man who love me.

That's all I have to say. Me. Miley Ray Stewart.