Describe a flower. It's a simple task don't you agree? But do it without sight, it would still be rather simple. You've got smell, and touch. But try to describe the sky, or a passing butterfly, or a rainbow. It's kind of hard when you can't see isn't it? But that's my world.
I see the world different from other people, or rather I don't see it. I have been blind since I can remember, so the way I see things are difficult to explain. It's not complete darkness like everyone would expect, it's not vivid images either, but there's always something there.
I can't complain about being blind since my other senses are sharper than other people but I still can't help but wonder what the world looks like for everyone else. For everyone else than can actually see. I think about it too much I guess, since I often doze off while looking at nothing…well not looking actually.
"…Hello? Earth to Gilbert. Is someone there?" I hear a sweet voice say in a playful manner.
"Yea sorry, I was lost in thought" I say smiling. That voice belongs to the most awesome person in the world, well after me that is, Mathew Williams A.K.A. the most awesome boyfriend in the world.
"Don't think too much, I don't want you brain dead by the end of the day."
"Brain dead? Moi? I feel offended birdie" I say lifting my hand to my chest in fake hurt. He giggles and stands up from the bench at the park and grabs my hand. I get up as well picking up my cane in the process and we both head to his house.
We spend the afternoon there doing whatever random thing we can come up with. At one point he made pancakes for me, which I love, and we both ate in comfortable silence. Right now we're both sitting on the couch as he reads a book out loud, I can read braille just fine, but I like hearing his sweet voice as I play with his soft hair.
"What, did you forget what my face looks like already?" he asks as I trace his face with my hands.
"No" I say simply. "I just like touching your face."
"You're so weird" he giggles and I smile.
This is one of those moments when I wish I could see. I wish I could see him smile or laugh or blush but I can't. I wish I could tell him he looks adorable when he's nervous or that he's just beautiful but I can't. I wonder if he feels like I holding him back sometimes. No there's no reason to think like that when he has told me many times that he loves me but I just can't help but wonder.
"How am I being weird?"
"You just said that that you like touching my face."
"Well I'm sorry. Is it illegal now to touch my boyfriend?" I say as I squish his cheeks together.
"It ish if I want it thsoo…Itsh my fashe" he says with difficulty.
"No, this face is mine!" I say wrapping both my arms around his head in a possessive way. His struggles to get out of my grasp only give me a sense of victory!
We spend most of our afternoons the same way. It's relaxing and it gives us time to be together just the two of us. It's a simple lifestyle but I wouldn't want it any other way. This afternoon, however, was a little different from usual, and it was fun!
Mathew and I like to go on walks every now and then but this time we decided to stop at a pet store. I got pet most of the animals there and I have a small image about how it might look like. There was one animal that caught my attention. A small bird. His feathers were almost as soft as Mathew's hair and had an adorable chipping sound that reminded me of Mathew's giggle. I decided to take him home with me and give him the most awesome name I could think of, Gilbird.
Gilbird now spends his time flying around the house and backyard and nesting on my hair.
I would really like to watch him fly. Just move around in the air without a care in the world. I want to see him fly. I want to see, even if it's just for an instant but I want to see.
"Gill."
"Hmmm? Oh yea sure, what you just said…"
"You seem to be zoning out a lot lately." He said with worry in his voice.
"Sorry I, just…" I didn't really know what to say "it's nothing."
"It doesn't sound like nothing" The worry in his voice was more than I could handle.
"I want to see the world through someone else's eyes" I say suddenly. He doesn't respond for a while so I get worried.
"Gill…why this all of a sudden?" he asks and I take a deep breath.
"I want to be able to see the world like everyone else." I say sitting up straight on the couch "I want to be able to see the sky, I want to see Gilbird flying and I want to be able to see you."
I don't know for how long we both stayed in silence, it wasn't an uncomfortable silence but it wasn't pleasant either.
"Gil," he says and I feel the weight of his head on my shoulder "You know there's a way to get new eyes."
"What?"
"The same way someone can donate their organs when they're going to die, someone can donate their eyes" he said snuggling closer. "I could go with you if you want."
And so just like that we're on our way and I'm now a step closer to seeing the world through someone else's eyes.
The surprising thing is that I soon after a week I was sitting in a hospital bed with Mathew holding my hand by my side. I thought I was going to have to wait longer to get my new eyes but soon I would be able to see him for the first time. That's the first thing I want to see when I wake up.
But it wasn't. The first thing I saw when I woke up, was myself. There was a mirror in front of me and I couldn't believe it. I always knew I was an albino, since I've been told many times, but finally being able to see my white hair and pale skin was…awesome! Only one thing bothered me, my eyes. They were the most beautiful color I've seen so far, but I'm not sure what it is. Well I'm sure Mattie can tell me once I see him.
The door opened beside me and I snapped my head in its direction to see the most adorable sight…well so far at least.
"Hey Gil, how are you feeling" it was Mathew and I was finally able to see him. His hair looked as soft as it felt and it went down to his chin in small waves. His skin was not as pale as mine but his cheeks had more color making the rest of his skin look lighter in comparison. His masked eyes, however, are what caught my attention. They had an awesome color but the intensity of it didn't really go with his soft being.
"Awesome! I can't wait to go outside and see everything!" I said with excitement.
"I'm glad you're happy."
"Oh and did you see my new eyes? They're so pretty!" Mathew let out a dramatic gasp.
"Did the awesome Gilbert just use the word pretty on himself?"
"Yea its weird isn't it, but I'm being serious!" I say and he smiles. He seemed lost in his own little world for a second and I got worried.
"Hey I know the awesome me is sexy and all but why are you looking at me like that?" he tipped his head to the side, his stare not moving.
"It's funny you say that because I can't see. I'm blind"
Blind. He…he's blind! All this time and I never knew he was blind. I feel betrayed, we've been going out for two years and he never told me he was blind.
"You're…blind?" I asked slowly and he nods. I got a strange feeling but I decided to ignore it since it was probably just the shock and the fact that he never told me.
We continued talking for a while until the doctor came in to check on my eyes.
After a couple tests I was finally checked out and allowed to go home. On our way back I made sure to take in as much as I could with my eyes which amused Mathew to no end.
"Mattie there's an airplane out the window! Mattie the clouds are following us! That's awesome! Can you believe how bright the sun is?" I couldn't believe how awesome everything was and being able to know what's in front of me without having to use my cane was just…awesome! I still couldn't shake away that strange feeling I got but I decided to ignore it and go on about life.
Days passed and that feeling only got worse. I tried to ignore it but I just can't and every day it seems like I'm getting more and more distant from him. His smile never fades though, because he doesn't seem to notice or if he does he's trying to make up for it.
"Gil, is something wrong?" he interrupts my thoughts "you're being awfully quiet."
He tilts his head to the side with a worried expression on his face.
"It's nothing, I was just…thinking."
"About what?
"…stuff" I say simply. The look on his face hurts me. He doesn't look angry or sad but there's something there that is painful to look at. "Birdie I…I'm sorry…"
"What?"
"I'm sorry but I just can't…I can't do this anymore."
"Gil what are you-"
"I can't Mathew I'm sorry…I…I think we need to end it here" I say slowly. His eyes went wide and tears started to form.
"Gilbert you can't be serious!" I flinch at the amount of pain in his voice but I go on.
"I'm sorry but I think it's for the best."
"For the best? Gilbert where is this coming from?" he says almost yelling "You haven't been acting like yourself lately"
"How would you know? You're blind!" he stops and the tears that were forming in his eyes spill. "I'm sorry, I really am but I made my decision."
Without saying another word, I leave. I can hear him calling after me but I don't turn around until I'm out the door. I really wish I wouldn't had turn around. Mathew was on the floor having fallen somehow, his head was bowed and he was crying more than I thought he would, but I still walked out the door.
I haven't heard from him since. It's almost been a year since this all happened but I still haven't heard from him even once. My life still went on though.
I come home from a trip, to find a letter in between my mail but I don't have the courage to open it. It's from him. So the letter awaits on my counter unopened for several days until I finally get the courage to look at it. It's a typed letter, but I'm guessing since he's blind writing it wouldn't be an option. As I read the letter my eyes go wide. I can't believe what's written so I enter a stage of denial. It's just not possible, it can't be possible…it just can't. I refuse to accept this! It's been almost a year, he should have had moved on. It's not true…it's not true…It's not true!
oooooOOOOOooooo
Dear Gilbert
I know you probably don't want to hear from me and that you probably waited a couple days to open this but I just want you to know that the two years that we were dating were the best days of my life. Not a lot of people notice me, and usually the people that do forget about me right away so when I first met you I thought that it was going to be that same with you, especially because you where blind. It's funny isn't it? You stayed by my side even if I doubted you and you made me feel special. Every little thing you did for me made me smile, everything from the time you said that my pancakes are the best to when you said my eyes are pretty.
Yes, you are looking at the world through my eyes. I gave you my violet eyes and I took your beautiful red ones even though I knew that I wouldn't be able to see. But I did it because I wanted you to be happy. That's all I wanted, and for a moment you were. It took me a while to get used to not having my sight (well to be honest I'm still not completely used to it) and a while longer to learn braille. But that doesn't matter anymore, I got into an accident and by the time you're reading this I'm probably going to be dead, if not then on my way.
Anyways I just wanted you to know that I'm sorry. I don't know what I did wrong but if I did I would do something to make it better. I never wanted this to happen but above all I'll always love you. I hope you continue to enjoy the world through my eyes.
I love you.
Mathew Williams.
Sup people Duckling here Quack! So this one shot is based off a small story I heard when I was little. SUCH A HAPPY STORY RIGHT?! Im not a doctor and actually taking time to do research was too much effort but anyways it doesn't matter IM HERE FOR THE FEELS SCREW ACURACY Anyways I'm sorry for the feels but I just had to write this, hope you enjoyed this one shot! Duckling out QUACK!