Title: Nevermore More
Author: AppleL0V3R
Beta-reader: Terror-Of-The-Crimson-Night
Fandom: 07 Ghost and Naruto
Pairing: Ayanami and Haruno, Sakura
Rating: T
Type: One-shot – Complete
Summary: Between the spaces in time, she remembers what she was. And she can't be her again, but she can start again.
Word Count: 1,055
Disclaimer: If you've heard of it before, then it's obviously not mine.
Note: I have no idea where this came from, but considering Sakura is my favorite character and 07 Ghost is my favorite anime, angst-filled stuff was bound to happen when I started dabbling into this area, especially considering I like AyaSaku very much.
And The Raven by Edgar Allen Poe was my inspiration for the title, not the one-shot but still.
..:Xx0o0xX:..
The raven, startled by our presence, cawed, skittering back and up into a nearby tree. But it didn't go too far from the motionless, but clearly alive crow on the forest floor. Stuck in an awkward position, both wings spread out and one misshapen, it screamed vulnerable. But not helpless. Getting too close would be a very bad idea.
Without even thinking about it I swooped down, grabbing its feet and quickly covering the small black bird with my free gloved hand and healed it even as I thrust my hand into the air as high as I could reach. From there the bird known for being a bad omen took to the skies, its mangled wing already fixed. The raven cawed once more, but this time it was at me and then it was a darting shadow quickly catching it companion. The crow stalled slightly, but just enough for the other bird of ill fortune to come close enough to fly side by side but not quite.
For a moment I just watched them, knowing how far off my eyes must have looked but not really caring. For a moment I stood frozen in my spot, reminded of all the things that I'd managed to push away, managed to forget.
How the raven was so much like Sasuke chasing the brother he could never reach and losing his heart in the process.
How the crow was so much like Itachi who had taken the fall and lost his life – in all senses of the word – to a never cleared up misunderstanding.
How the whole thing had just been one tragedy that set off so many others.
Then came Naruto, my sunshine, unbidden to my mind. How he was so trusting and seemed to be stabbed right in the face for it every time. Ino, my heart's sister, who was so loving and supportive and just not made for the role she played. Kakashi, my father, who was always there and seemed too strong to be anything but infallible. Tsunade-shishou, the closest thing I had to a mother, who never backed down and cared too much for her heart and home.
And so many other faces and names to match them all.
How easily that world had fallen. How quickly those lighted face dimmed as the will of fire was dosed. And those who were relied on to keep it burning crumbled to nothing before it.
Finally I remembered how I couldn't move when faced the reality that still hadn't sunk in. How I'd forgotten how to breath, think, feel because of the shock and numbness of a world I couldn't – wouldn't – face. And couldn't remember how to run away.
That's how I'd ended up here. Not quite dead, that would only bring more pain. Blinding, numbing, unceasing pain and sorrow.
And memory.
I hadn't wanted to remember so I forgot and forgot and forgot. Soon I could remember nothing and that was just how I wanted it.
My leather gloves creaked from the pressure impressed on them, shaking me from my frozen stupor. A cold wind invaded my senses, stinging the corner of my eye the most. A tear had formed. Unbidden, unwanted. Just like everything else.
Then came a voice and I remembered I wasn't alone. "Did they remind you of something?" or someone?
It was Hyuuga, because Ayanami wouldn't ask. Didn't care enough to, wife or not. I was nothing more than a trophy wife, taken to get stubborn, old men off his case and do a favor for the current Hokage. I was no longer useful anyway.
I inhaled and tried to find the door the two birds had found the key to, still not wanting all those thoughts and memories of a woman – so proud, so strong, so full of life – that wasn't me. "Just too many skeletons and forgotten ghosts of a world…a world that doesn't exist." It was the first time I'd spoken around or to another with such a hollowed voice.
And I stopped pushing away that woman. Hearing my own voice in such a manner had shaken me. Made me think of how Sasuke would have snorted in disgust and Kakashi shaken his head with sorrow, how Tsunade-shishou would have scolded me with anger and disapproval and how Naruto would have grabbed my shoulders and shook me until I saw things his way.
So I tore down the wall and with it the flood gates. I straightened, remembering how strong I'd become and how this was so unbecoming. And I started walking. Because I'd forgotten that the world was still turning, how time had no problem with leaving me behind to wallow in nothingness. But I didn't run, because there wasn't anything to catch up to, the future would come as it did and I'd make the most of the seconds I was living.
For the first time in so long a real smile pulled on my lips, but it wasn't the fun-loving happy-go-lucky smile it had once been. It never would be that again. But I had the chance at a fresh start right here, at being something again. I was only broken after all. I could still be pieced back together, because I wasn't shattered.
Clasping black glove – the same ones I'd been given by my mother-figure – clad hands behind my back I started a conversation.
A new found strength and a new found will began burning again. It would become brighter, hotter than it was before because I was living for all those who no longer could now.