Tsunaida kimi no te wo

Author's Notes

Konichiwa…mina-sama…this is my second Kyo Kara Maou fanfic… The first was "When you say nothing at all". It was a Shinou x Daikenja fanfic. This is really the first time that I fancied a Yaoi/Shounen ai anime and I used to hate that kind of same sex relationship. But, now, I am starting to like it (only in Kyo Kara Maou though…) and hell, I am a YuuRam and ShinouxDaikenja also some ShinouxMurata fan girl. But still, the truth that I am a Catholic (studying in a Catholic School) and the idea still makes me uneasy at times.

So now I present to you my fanfic… tsunaida kimi no te wo…or in English 'Your hand that I held'. I found the line while listening to DTechnoLife by Uverrworld, it is the second opening song of one of my favorite anime; Bleach. But there is nothing connected there… I was just inspired to write and the meaning of the song is very romantic. This will be a YuuRam fanfic but I'll include some Murata x Shinou and Gwendal x Anissina. As I say…I used to hate Yaoi so I'll make a very big twist here…

I also loved to borrow some ideas...quotes from other anime so don't be surprise to see those kind of things...

Rated T (may change though I will NEVER do a Yaoi Lemon) Gomen Nasai (don't know how…)

Now…do you want to read this story or not…if you want please look below if you don't please press the back button.

And also leave a review…I appreciate it but please don't insult me too much…or I will lose the enthusiasm to write more chapter and abandoned it.

Is that blackmail? Maa…

I apologize for my super long intro but here it is…really…

Oopps, not done yet…

Message to my fellow Pilipino who enjoy reading Kyo Kara Maou fanfics and deeply addicted to it…

Abay, mag review naman kayo nang ako'y ganahan magsulat…Malapit na and end of school year naming kaya marami na kong free time…

Disclaimer...

I will never own kyo kara maou but at least dream and make fanfics ne?

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Prologue

(Just a little side quote...

From Gundam Seed...

Cagalli: (to Athrun...)

Don't go...To live is the much greater fight)

Now really that start...

So…death is not painful as people fear.

I feel no type of agony after all, just that my whole body is numb and weak.

I thank God that I feel nothing physically but…I closed my eyes trying to focus. I felt cold hands to mine…

"Yuuri…you wimp…You can't die! If you go to a place where I can never reach you… I'LL…I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!!! THAT'S NOT FAIR!" a loud, very angry voice yelled. I can hear his cry….but as usual he is shouting.

After a year, I grew fond of him and if he isn't a boy I would probably fall in love with him.

"Please don't move, heika" another voice said but it was the gentle voice of my godfather.

If I have any energy, I would perhaps tell him that's its Yuuri. He was the one who named me after all.

"It hurts…" I unconsciously said.

Now there is pain…like thousand of burning needles piercing his flesh.

It hurts much that even though I can feel a good sensation on my chest where the arrow was staying…I don't feel good at all.

The arrow, they removed it but since I can feel that painful sensation it didn't bother me at all. I can feel that someone is healing me…it would probably Giesela-san but when I opened my eyes I saw a mop of black hair…Murata… His face looks determined; Giesela-san is barking orders to the soldiers.

The assassins only targeted me.. I found myself looking at two beautiful emerald eyes, tears falling from it and landing on my cheeks. He looks beautiful…The pain…I forgot about it but the sensation changed…

I can now feel like someone is ripping my muscles, my body burning with fire. I gasped and clutched my body, I bit my lips to stop shouting but as soon as I taste my own blood…I screamed……It was so painful.

"It hurts!" Tears are falling from my very own onyx orbs.

"Please…Shibuya calm down" Murata said as I raise my upper body hoping that is will remove the pain. But I screamed one again…the feeling intensifies…I am turning into ashes……

"Stop…" I moaned…can't take it… it was so excruciating.

The feeling changed now…it was like my arms are ripping…like somebody is pulling them and my legs being cut; my chest has at least hundreds of shattered, sharp glasses.

"Stop…Please…" I screamed.

I close my eyes clutched my fist until I can feel it bleeding. I tried to focus on that pain since it was lesser but I can't; more relaxing sensations signaling that more people are trying to heal me.

The pain disappeared….I calmed down but when I opened my eyes I saw Okuro and Oyaji lying on a pool of blood.

I screamed when I saw a man with a sword lunges Shori. I cried, this is more painful….I breathe deeply, wishing that I couldn't see more of it. But then it changed….

I saw Greta bloody, arm missing, many cuts on her face, she was calling to me…reaching. I raise my hands but I can't even touch her! The man from before then attack her stabbing on her chest.

Next was, Jozak and Konrad…slashed into half.

Then Gwendal and Gunter…their digestive system coming out from the cut on their stomach.

There is Murata glasses broken, a sword on his chest… Shin Mazoku burning, people lying in their own blood…and I can see that it's the man's fault.

"No…" I moaned as the last vision become clearer.

I can see Wolfram…his handsome face full of cuts like Greta. The man appeared again…and……he closed his eyes……and...thud…Wolfram's head lying on the blood.

"NO!!! PLEASE…KILL ME!!! KILL ME INSTEAD……NOT THEM" I yelled. My whole body is trembling……

I begged…I begged to someone as the man become clearer to me……the man who killed the people important to me. He is laughing…like a mad man……Oh…I wanted to die now…to stop this mental and emotional torture…because I saw the man as his mirror.

Myself…I killed my family… in Earth and Shin Mazoku.

I cry harder, I embraced myself and my nails dug on my clothes, to my skin and flesh.

"Please……" I am not screaming anymore.

"Kill me quickly… I beg you. I do not wish to see more…I will not…I can't stand the pain…"

I felt a wonderful feeling, my body becoming numb again. And I close my eyes hopeful that I will now be embrace by death's welcoming arms… Finally...

But……

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So my dear readers what do you think. Should I continue or should I just erase the 'but' over there? I appreciate reviews but don't insult me too much. Till next time…… if I will receive good reviews.Last thing...how can you get a Beta Reader?

Okuro : Very casual address for you mother

Oyaji: Very casual address for your father