Just A Dream

Ben Rafter's Point Of View

It had been six months… six long, painful months since the death of the love of my life; Mel.
They say that eventually, time makes the pain go away, but I guess I'm just the exception to that rule. Even after six months without her, I still cannot move on. She is the only one I want, the only one I need. And every single night, when I'm about to drift off into my usual restless sleep, she is the last person I think of.

Sometimes I do really try to move on with my life. But whenever I do, I feel this sharp stab of guilt, as if I'm betraying Mel.

I've tried everything… even counseling, but nothing ever helps. I guess I have to move on when I'm finally ready.

However, my wonderful family is trying so hard to help me. Mum is always worrying of course, constantly coming over to check up on me. Although at times it gets quite annoying, I know she means well.

Rachel is back from New York for a few weeks, just so she can visit Jake. Even though I would never dare admit this to her face, it's really good to have her back.

Nathan finally moved out, having found a new girlfriend. It's really good to finally see him moving on from his divorce with Sammy.

If only I could do the same…

Carbo and Retta have finally tied the knot, and are currently on their honeymoon in Hawaii. It's kind of nice having the house to myself; it gives me plenty time to think.

Dad and Mum are doing great. Dad's getting a lot of business lately, while Mum spends most of her time looking after Ruby. She's nearly a year old in a few months. How time has flown…

I sighed once, looking outside of the bedroom window. It seems like everyone is moving on with their lives… all except me. Sometimes it feels like I'm in a coma… unable to wake up. Like a never ending sleep…

I'm alive but I'm not exactly living…

As if I'd ever be able to do so without her.

Lately, I've been having these strange dreams… I don't exactly know what they mean. I have flashes of ambulances, hospitals…Maybe I'm just remembering the night when Mel died. I don't know…But sometimes, it's like I can hear her calling out to me, like she's crying. It's all very strange.

I looked at the clock on my bedside table, noticing it was 2 am. I still couldn't get to sleep. My head was killing me… actually; come to think of it… it had been for a while.

Eventually though, I drifted off to sleep, seeing her face once more before I began to dream. It was the same dream as usual, ambulances, a car crash, Mel crying above me…

I suddenly heard the sound of beeping… like a heart monitor in a hospital. I felt my eyes flutter open a little… and what I saw made my heart stop.

There she was… sitting right beside me, holding tight onto my hand, crying softly.

I looked around me, noticing I was in a hospital ward. Well, I've never had this dream before…

I looked at our entwined hands. Her soft hand felt so real against mine, and it almost made me cry. This dream was so intense… oh how much I wish it were real.

She looked up suddenly, her eyes looking directly into mine.

"Ben…" She whispered.

"Am I dreaming?" I replied in a small voice.

"I was going to ask the same thing." She laughed quietly.

Was this real? Or was this a dream? Like all the others? I had so many questions running through my head…

"What… happened? Where am I?" I managed to say.

"You don't remember?"

I shook my head, wincing as I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my forehead.

"You were in an accident," She paused waiting for me to react.

I stared at her intently, waiting for her to go on.

"You were on your way to that hotel… to surprise me with that romantic dinner you had planned. I was running late, but you had already left. I was on my way to the hotel, when suddenly… I saw your car in a ditch." She stopped suddenly, tears falling fast down her face. My breath hitched. This wasn't real… I wasn't in an accident. SHE was…

"I stopped the car and ran over. You were so badly hurt! I didn't know what to do. I called an ambulance, and your family and you were rushed to hospital. I seriously didn't think you were going to make it; the doctors said you had a serious bleed to the brain."

She was really crying now. Suddenly, all these images were running through my mind. The car crash… the ambulance… those dreams weren't dreams, but memories.

"After surgery, the doctors came out. They said you had gone into a coma. We seriously didn't think you'd make it. Your family and I have been here the whole time." She whispered.

"Wait… how long have I been in a coma for?"

"A month." She sobbed.

This was way too much to handle… All this time I had been dreaming she was dead; that everyone else was moving on with their lives. But my subconscious had made it all up. I had missed so much… and I could only imagine the pain that Mel had gone through.

"But… while I was in the coma, I dreamt that you had been in an accident… that you had died."

"Well I'm very much alive. I've missed you so much Ben." She leaned forward, laying her head on my chest, sobbing quietly.

I didn't know whether to be happy or just shocked…

Mel was alive, she wasn't gone… And a small tear fell from my eye as I smiled gently, rubbing her hair slowly as she cried.

"I love you Ben."

"I love you too." I whispered, before I gently closed my eyes and fell into the most peaceful sleep I had had in ages.

"BEN'S AWAKE?" I heard the sound of Carbo's booming voice fill the room, waking me from my deep sleep.

I smiled gently as I saw all the people I called family sitting around me.

As soon as they noticed I was awake, they all rushed to the sides of my bed, hugging me tightly.

Mum was crying, even Dad was crying… and they all seemed so happy.

Retta was standing at the doorway, obviously not knowing if she should come any closer. I gave her a warm smile, inviting her over.

After they were done hugging me and they finally returned to their seats I decided to tell them about all the dreams I had while I was in the coma.

"… And Carbo and Retta got married-"

"Not yet Benno." Carbo winked and I laughed.

"So what have I missed while I was in my coma?" I asked.

Rachel and Jake looked at each other and grinned.

I raised my eyebrows at my sister, and she laughed.

"Jake and I are engaged!"

I watched the rest of my family as they smiled and I couldn't help but do the same. I was so happy for them.

Grandpa told me how he had found a new woman, and how he was thinking about finding a new place to live with her. Retta was finally going to meet Carbo's Mum; we all laughed at that. Mum and Dad were both busy with looking after Ruby, and balancing work, and Nathan was still looking for other jobs, but was slowly getting there.

Not a lot had changed in the month I was in my coma, but I was so glad how things had turned out. Mel was alive, I was happy, and everything was great.

My family continued talking and laughing, but I just looked at Mel. I had missed her so much; believing she was dead was the hardest thing I would probably ever go through. I was so glad that it really wasn't true.

We stared in each other's eyes and smiled gently, my heart warming at her gaze. I knew I had a lot of healing until I was good as new, but knowing that my beautiful Mel was alive gave me enough strength to be able to handle it. I knew that, with her by my side, I'd be able to do anything.