Okay, this is really stupid but I couldn't get the idea out of my head, so... yeah.
This is the legend of Robin of the Hood and his partner, Little John…
Robin Longstride held his wife, Marion, in his arms in the water. They had nearly drowned fighting the traitorous Godfrey, and now the battle was almost over and won. Robin kissed her fully on the lips, tenderly caressing her. He was so incredibly glad she was alive, he almost forgot about the invading French and the naïve King John. Little John came screaming past them on the beach, hammer raised to fight. He noticed them as they broke away and waded into the water. The hammer dropped to his side and John tilted his head sideways.
"Robin," John interrupted them. Robin looked up. "If you can admit you like men, well, so can I!"
Little John reached over, grabbed a random soldier, and kissed him on the mouth. Then, he dropped the soldier and let out a vicious cry of victory. The soldier (who might have been French) dropped down into the water in a dead faint. Robin and Marion looked at him with disbelief and confusion.
"Um, John," Robin started. "This is Marion. You know, my wife…"
"Hello, John," Marion said, pulling off the cap that was keeping the hair out of her face.
John's face started to fall, and the hammer slid out of his hands. His eyes widened. "Oh."
In memory of the victims of the earthquake in Japan on March 11th, 2011.