Disclaimer: I do not own iDOLiSH7 or any of its characters.
INTRODUCTION
SOUGO
"All finished, Osaka-san."
Sougo silently brushed his slender fingers on the spot where the nurse had drawn his blood from. It was slightly aching, but the young boy didn't mind the pain. He was already used to the sensation of needle piercing through skin - and he'd admit that it feels nice sometimes.
To be frank, even if he was cured from this illness he was suffering from - which is impossible, as it was terminal; he would probably take up a hobby of poking himself with needles just for his own enjoyment. To him who can barely move from his hospital bed, pain was a spark, a light burst of sensation that sends shivers down his spine, one which spices up his dull life.
It was something that reminds him that he is very much alive, despite his condition which one could describe as good as dead.
"Thank you very much," Sougo mumbled politely. As always, his eyes remained fixated on the landscape on the other side of the windowpane - illuminated trees weaving through the streets, the faint honking of cars from the lively city, and the glittering lights of towering skyscrapers.
The more he stares upon the view before him, the more his yearning to escape, to be enveloped by the blinding lights and deafening noises grows. It is painful to think about such a thing - a different kind of pain than the one he enjoys. It is a subdued pain that swells deep inside his chest, the pain of knowing that everything he wishes for will never come true, that his life will become empty and worthless in the end.
How hopeless.
"It must be boring to always be stuck to a hospital bed," the nurse commented with a soft chuckle, her voice void of any ill intention, as she noticed Sougo's longing gaze.
"I suppose there's an opportunity cost for everything," Sougo let out a dry laugh, refusing to answer the said inquiry directly. As always, his eyes did not leave the dazzling sight beyond him. "Aren't I pitiful?"
"Not at all," the nurse replied without hesitation, as she arranged the medical equipment neatly in a steel box. The conversation lulled for a moment, with the only sounds in the room being the beeping of the machine attached to the IV drip Sougo was hooked up to, and the clinking of metal from the nurse putting her tools away.
"I'll be taking my leave now," the nurse spoke up, interrupting the silence in the room. Sougo turned around to give her a polite nod, paired with a small smile.
"Thank you for your work."
"It's my pleasure, Osaka-san." The nurse bowed slightly, flashing him one last smile before turning around and pushing her cart out of the room.
When Sougo heard the door close with a click, his smile immediately dropped away from his face. His eyes fluttered around the ever-so-familiar room - if there were no medical equipment or machines around, one may see it as a location from a luxurious hotel. It was a five-star hospital suite, complete with a cosy living room area, a large balcony, and even a separate spare bedroom. Various still-life paintings adorned the wall, unpleasantly similar to the ones in his family's mansion. It was too large for two people - Sougo himself and his butler, which makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't need half of the room's space, considering the fact that he's too exhausted to even get out of bed.
Like everything else, all of this is just wasted on me.
The young man let out a sigh and rolled over, whilst trying his best to subdue his negative thoughts. His eyes rested on the pure white lilies beside his bed that his father had sent him the day before, sitting in a fragile violet vase. Sougo liked lilies - they are such a delicate flower - beautiful, yet simplistic. Glorious, yet one could still describe it as a humble flower.
However, the ones beside him were starting to be stained with brown splotches, slowly rotting and dying.
Just like me.
He sunk into the pile of pillows on his bed, turning his attention back to the window. It was already very much late, but the city's liveliness hadn't died down, not even a bit. A small bitter smile appeared on his lips. Wishing for himself to be cured wouldn't help with anything - he won't ever heal, he won't able to live normally, and he won't be able to step outside and get the taste of the world. That's just how it is. No matter how tired he is with living his life like this, it is the only way that would keep him alive.
But tonight would be different.
Tonight, he will not be lying in his bed, torturing himself with dreams that would not come true.
Sougo slowly sat up, stealing a glance at his blond-haired butler. He was sprawled out on the violet sofa beside his bed with a catalogue of anime goods resting neatly on his face. One of his arms were dangling down on the side of the sofa, while the other lay neatly on his stomach. The lilac haired man let out a small chuckle. He probably worked especially hard today - normally the butler would always make sure Sougo is all tucked in and comfortable before going to sleep himself.
"Nagi-kun? Are you awake?" Sougo murmured gently, despite knowing the answer himself.
As expected, his question was answered by the blond's soft snores.
Perfect.
The silver-haired man swiftly yanked the needle of the IV drip out of the back of his hand, and lowered himself out of the bed. He shuddered slightly as his bare foot came in contact with the cold tiles, but the coolness was immediately subdued by the discovery of his hospital slippers. With a fair amount of struggle, he managed to walk all the way over to his closet and change out of his ugly green hospital gown to a white dress shirt and long formal black pants.
Being born as the heir of the Osaka household - one of the richest families in Japan, he was considered lucky by many. However, Sougo had contracted a chronic illness when he was only two of age, and it affected his immune system badly. Due to his poor health and weak physical strength, he was forbidden to go outside, and was confined within his hospital room for the past 18 years.
His father is always busy with work, so he doesn't bother to drop in to check in on Sougo's condition much. Besides Nagi and his home tutor, he didn't have any friends or acquaintances (if you don't count those greedy businessmen that his father sometimes introduces him to), and the only world he knows of is this white-walled room that he was trapped in. It was so achingly empty - so suffocating to live like this for so long. He spends his days quietly reading books and encyclopedias, his interest seeming to zero upon books about bonds with other people, different cities around the world, and current affairs.
It is nice to at least have a connection to the outside world this way, but it's not enough for Sougo.
It's not like he was going to live forever. Sougo knew well that his days were numbered, and he refuses to pass on peacefully after wasting most years of his life trapped in an empty hospital room, constantly staring at white wall and being restricted to his bed, of constantly having to acknowledge that that despite all the riches and privileges he has, his hopes and dreams were nevertheless stolen away by his illness.
After making sure he put everything on neatly, Sougo limped weakly over to his butler, poking him ever so lightly to make sure that he won't wake up. After a few more tries of poking with no response, Sougo quickly leaned down to whisper,
"I'll be back."
The goodbye ending with a light touch from his fingertips.
A/N:
Hello! This is my first fanfic after a 4 years' hiatus, so I hope you enjoyed it!
I've been developing this AU for a bit now, first wanting to make it a VN but I'm too busy to complete it OTL
Thank you for reading!