Without Edward, Bella can't get a hold on what is going on! Life seems to be dragging incessantly! She finally decides that death is the only way to reach Edward. Yet she can't get herself to commit suicide, for the sake of her father and for her best friend Jacob, she feigns happiness but some scars can never be erased by time. But in death there's peace. She decides to write a diary entry and a poem for Edward before she dies.

Dear diary,

Its been almost an year and there is no sign of the Collins. I can't take it anymore. All this pretence doesn't do me any good. I'm probably losing my sanity. I'd much rather lose my life. It would be so much easier and yet! Some faces wouldn't let me do it but now my life seems to have lost meaning. I can't go on! I quit! The last piece of my shattered heart for you! Edward

INCESSANT

There seems 2 b no day 2 my night at all

When I think its dawn, here comes the night again

It penetrates my heart, piercing each wall

The darkness slips away inside unnoticed as I feign

Happiness! as I put on a smile in vain

This feeling won't go away, like this rain

Incessant! It has drenched me, I'm soaking wet,

Shivering, searching for the barriers I put up

I realise this is no time to fret,

Its time to move on, to put the pain aside,

Its time to forget the scars I struggle to hide,

I must not stop for if I turned back

I'll b lost lest there's a hand to guide

My way out of this night

Incessant! This pain I've faced

These scars! they got to be erased

lest I see another nite whilst the dawn

lest before the day breaks I would mourn

once again as the pain returns anew

once again as light turns to a hue

of darkness , of pain

a shadow it is, of the tempest

That follows the rain

incessant! This storm rages within me lest

it tears my soul apart yet again,

I look out for peace, beyond the darkness,

That has tainted my heart, bitterness

That makes me shiver, I pray,

Save my soul from being gone astray,

Silence now greets me after the storm

And tears too weak to come out scorn

my heart wallowing in self pity

my life screaming its irony

to me death is life And life is death

Incessant! It has its own stealth

As my heart and soul lie vanquished

And yet this shell refuses 2 perish!

I wish I had that kind of audacity

But alas! All I do is pity

Myself as I beg for death

Incessant! it plagues me incomplete

I yearn for it with every breath

to be rid of my breath discrete,

I know not whence it started

But it seems to b going on for all eternity

Incessant! this betrayal this mutiny

I wish to die yet my heart yearns so

I'm trapped in this moment in time

And this yearning just doesn't go

incessant! It eats away at my very soul

even love cant now make it whole

again its scarred beyond repair

submerged in a river of despair

incessant! Its my fate

to close my eyes in darkness

and I shall wait

till there's enough light 2 sate

and to tear apart

the pain and the darkness

incessant! That fills my heart

She closed her diary and went to the roof of her house. An image of Edward formed in her mind. It was myth that a human would get in his next life the thing he desired at the time of his death. "Edward! She whispered." She saw Edward's hazy outline trying to stop her. "Don't!" it whispered. She only smiled. The wind seemed to be calling out to her. She jumped, headlong and then the pain came! But it was short lived, then there was peace. Her hazy outline appeared by Edward's side and he screamed out his agony. "Don't!" she said. "Don't worry. I'll be waiting."