Desolation

M-Based off of "The Outsider" by H.P. Lovecraft. I recommend you read it, for it is better than this piece of crap.

Warning: Eldershipping (OakxDelia, right?) as well as something else, but I dare not ruin the surprise.

Disclaimer-Any Pokemon characters belong to Nintendo. Everything else is by H.P. Lovecraft.

Thanks to my beta.

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My world is shrouded in darkness. Complete and utter darkness, encasing me in its shroud of unending night inside my moldy, crumbling castle with one tower, surrounded by a forest of dead trees; the only light to save me are from the candles. Yet the only thing keeping me sane and sentient is the leather bound books in the library.

In my unstable mind I often wondered if I had ever glimpsed at the sun and moon. Perhaps when I was a babe latched onto my mother's breast I saw glimpses of such wonders the authors romanticize. Perhaps the trees that block out the two deities of the sky were managed by servants. But my memory, sadly, is missing pieces; the greater being my childhood, adolescence and young adulthood.

Perhaps my childhood was an unhappy one, plagued by horrible events that my young mind blocked them out. After all, a child has to have parents to exist. And since I live in a castle, I had to be born there or adopted. Not even in my books does it have a child taking a castle without an adult's say so. I have searched the grounds and the only life I have found was my own. But someone had to take care of me, yes? How else would I have grown to this age without some help from another living being? Perhaps a plague came and wiped all of them off the face of the earth. But how could I have been spared? Such details baffle and add to my hell.

I'm so lonely; you cannot imagine the feeling of being this desolate. How every sound you hear is the trick of some phantasm of the mind trying to raise your spirits with hope, only to be dashed harshly with cruel reality. Such loneliness that-in my less lucid moments-I would imagine that me and the friends I made within my leather bound books were walking down them just from my echoing footfalls. Conversing with them, never truly hearing their replies save for my mind's ear; taking comfort with my own voice. Although my voice is not all that comforting, for it sounded coarse and soft, as if it were just wind passing through my vocal chords. This was, I surmised, an obvious atrophy caused by my lack of speaking.

I have experienced an episode once before. Having nothing better to do and an urge to be out of the horrible castle leaves me no choice but to lie on the ground, looking up into the tree limbed sky and imagine what I have read in my beloved books was splayed before me. But no matter the circumstances, the darkness is always suffocating. My desperate mind screamed out for freedom and the light that was denied me. I burst out of the castle and franticly ran into the dead forest that surrounds my castle. In the beginning I was merely scratched by the branches, tattering my clothing and I did not care. I kept going; freedom ringing in my soul. Light pushing my cold limbs to the limit. I was going to be free; the light would bathe me in warmth that my body and mind has not embraced before.

But alas, the branches became thicker and harder to push through. I clawed at the branches, but they would not budge; other branches reinforcing those of which I desperately tried to get rid of. I fell on my knees, I cried but did not feel tears. Perhaps I was too upset to cry. Such an ordeal was taxing, too taxing on a despairing mind such as mine.

After calming down I walked back the way I came. Even though I did not want to go back, there was nowhere else to go that was safe. This was, after all, a forest. Even though I had not encountered any creature, that did not mean that I felt safe. I reached the clearing in which my castle stood, its doors opened wide like a mother's outstretched arms towards her wayward son. I walked through a defeated man. My mind was numb, relaxed and unfeeling. I closed the doors behind me.

The castle has a tower. But I never go up it; its stone steps are as old and moldy crumbling pieces of rock that could give way to an increase of weight. But my mind was screaming for light! I would see that which was denied me for so long or die trying!

I ran up the stairs, one by one, they spiraled upward. I kept my pace until I could no longer keep it. From there I trudged on, surprised at how high the tower actually went. Up and up and up it climbed. How high it was I do not know, for there were no windows-much to my dismay. But I came so far, there was no turning back now. If there were no windows, I would gladly make one. Even if it meant my death, I would look up and see the stars and moon sparkle and shine down upon my retched life, cleansing it with its purifying light, even for a moment, would rid me of the darkness forever.

I had stopped and slept on the stairs, my body tired and aching from the strenuous activities that is has not had to face during my stay at the castle. When I awoke, I walked the rest of the stairs, there were not as many as the supposed day before. When I reached the top I felt a wooden door to my right. I tried it, with a creaking sound it swung open.

What I saw was darkness. But I would not despair. It would only mean that I would not see what happens to me when…I took a step and my foot-to my surprise-touched solid ground. I took another step and I, with vague clarity, was in a room. I felt all around with my hands and feet until I found a ladder and climbed it, not knowing where it goes, but was almost certain that it would take me to my desired light. I hit my head on something hard in the dark. After rubbing my head, I tried to push it. It gave way and I climbed out and found myself inside some other dark room.

This dark room had, to my fright, boxes of odd height and shape. I dared not think on what was within, but-instead-walked straight ahead from where I climbed out, for before me stood a door, I pushed it and it too gave way.

I was greeted by darkness-but not the darkness I was accustomed to in my castle-but darkness with a tiny hint of light. I looked around, surprised to find myself seeing paved, green earth, riddled with rocks and sleeping creatures that I instantly recognized as pokemon thanks to my once beloved books. I shall abandon them, their wrinkled pages hold nothing for me anymore, for nothing can describe what I'm seeing now with my own eyes. Such beauty that I once only read about-that was not described well enough for my taste-the shiny pinpoint stars sparkling their radiant glow. The moon was a crest illuminating my surroundings to where I ran down the green hillside until I came across a road that I ran down, kicking and laughing and at one point, twirling around on one foot like a little school boy or a mad man both celebrating a freedom that I now could understand. I never looked back, for there was nothing to look back upon. No matter what happens, going back down to my dark prison was never an option.

It was not long that I spied a town, its fields were large and houses few. I would have thought it abandoned if not for the bright lights coming from a large house. One could almost call it a castle due to its vastness and tower. But, unlike my tower, this one had a fan on it. I remember a book mentioning a windmill. Perhaps this is the new fashion for the castles in the light. Not being able to hold in my excitement on finally meeting people, I made a mad dash for it. Finally, salvation in the form of flesh; I would never be alone again. Perhaps I could build a small quant house here and settle down, maybe even travel. But I pushed those thoughts out of my mind. I might not like the people or vice versa.

The gate was open so I walked through. But, as soon as I entered, the pokemon woke up and looked at me with nervous eyes. Perhaps they get nervous around new people, so I shook it off. After all, I could not blame them, I was feeling nervous with each step I took towards the castle. But soon the door was before me. It looked too normal to be a castle door, but who was I to judge?

I opened the door to the castle. There was music and a buzzing sound I would learn to be conversation. I saw them before they saw me; several people were talking, holding glasses filled with liquid. It was then that it struck me; I never drank in my castle. Other people were dancing or standing off to the side talking, their glasses set aside, their content already consumed.

A woman noticed me and screamed, stopping what everyone else was doing. Soon everyone else was pointing in my direction and screaming in pure terror. I looked behind me and I saw nothing. Nothing but me stood in the hallway. Everyone was running for their lives except one woman.

"Arthur," She asked, incredulously. "Arthur, is that you?"

By then an old man with short grey hair stopped running and came back for her. He grabbed her by the arm and quickly tried to get her to move. Urging her to move from her spot by the couch and run for safety from some unseen horror.

"Delia," He said. "Whatever that thing is, it is no longer your husband! Now come on, darling."

He quickly got her to move, leaving me confused. I could not have been married; if I were married then should she not have been with me in my castle? I took her for confused and shrugged it off. These things happened in some of my books, people can look like other people in varying ways; thus I took no offense.

Instead, I wanted to see where everyone went and explain myself and try to be their friend, putting this little incident behind us. But that soon faded, for as soon as I walked into the room, I saw-at the side of my eyesight-something move. Confused and scared, I turned to face what might have been what actually scared them.

I glimpsed at the thing standing there; a green human caricature with human form and clothing with chipping pieces of flesh covering parts of the body. I was struck dumb and in complete terror, keeping me and it in place. Neither man nor thing moved for a long time.

I started to become brave as I lifted a hand in order to touch it. Apparently it had the same thought, for it raised a hand the same time I did. Slowly but surely man and monster moved their hands closer and closer until I touched it.

I quickly ran out of the castle in a mad frenzy, madness corrupting my mind as I learned what that thing was! But I ran! I ran towards the place where that I emerged from, but try as I might, the door never budged. I was not sad nor sorry, for I hated the castle that I was born from. I ran with nameless things and preformed maddening, festive rites with my new friends and family. I went with them to Egypt to see the great pharaoh Nyarlathotep rise and give sermons for certain gods under pyramids with other creatures, some were like my family whilst others appeared to be of the light. But at least I was never lonely.

All this that makes up my happy life came from the epiphany that light was not for me. That I am to remain in the dark, void of men for my new kin lived in dark and strange places on the world. All this was made known when I stretched out my hand and touched cold and unyielding surface of finely polished glass.