Friday, December 18. 11:15 a.m. Weather is Snowy and Windy.
Moving to New York City must have been the worst decision I have made in my entire life. I left all of my friends, my memories, and experiences behind in sunny California and ended up in this busy, smelly city of New York. Living expenses are ridiculously high, college is horribly boring, and Komui (my overprotective brother) seems to be extremely distracted and cranky since we arrived. It gives me migraines, even as I write.
I moved here because I was accepted into a prestigious private school in Manhattan. Komui objected deeply, to the point where I began to be suspicious whether he had an ancient feud with the state of New York. I don't know why. But honestly, New York City is way better than the suburbs in the middle of the desert where we were living in Southern California. The weather is lovely in the east coast at least. I love the rain. But I don't know how I'm going to live without my friends, who were practically my family since my parents died. But I've managed to survive through a whole semester of college as a freshman.
I am currently on winter break. I'm usually giddy with the expectation of Christmas by this time of the year, but I feel nothing right now. No glee, no expectations, no nothing. I'm just not looking forward to a Christmas without anyone to share it with, save my irritable brother, in a foreign land. I received excellent marks for my first semester in college, which was surprising since I never was the exceptional student. But I'm not complaining. So I'm relaxing, free from my brother's usual tirade about studying. Getting good grades does have its advantages. No nagging from older siblings.
I saw and felt snow for the first time when I came to New York. California does not have the luxury of snow. I fell in love with it at once. It's so much softer than I had imagined. I don't have friends close enough to go to the movies with or anything, so I am mostly cooped up at home after school, which is where I am right now, watching the snow land on my balcony.
It's also windy, as always. I wonder why God made it windy daily. It's howling like mad at the moment, rattling my windows and swaying trees. But I don't mind. I like the wind too. I love the feeling of the wind against my face. It's a great feeling. What's even better is that there is always, always wind around. When I told Komui once that I liked wind because you can always find some next to you, he laughed at me, saying the wind is around when it wants to be. But he's wrong. He must have some weird touch senses because I can always feel wind. Sometimes, I can even see it. It's kind of scary sometimes. It feels like a whale is passing by at 70 mph. It's awesome.
Lately, some splitting headaches have been attacking my brain. This started about two months ago and it will not go away, to my extreme annoyance. I ought to drop by a doctor's office. I also have the strangest dreams in which in a faraway land, I am a warrior in the most beautiful village, loved and respected. But then, towards the end of the dream, I always see it burning. I feel a cold stab through my chest and headaches wake me. They are recurring and not very pleasant experiences. Sometimes, I dread going to sleep.
A letter lay forgotten on my bed which read importantly, "To the parents or guardians of Lenalee Lee." It contained my schedule for the Spring semester. I sighed, thinking about school again. School had dominated my entire short and sorry life. It's all I've been doing for the entire 18 years that I have been living. It had to get tiring somewhere along the way. Every day was the same. I got up in the morning, went to school, did homework, ate, slept and the next day, it repeated. Can you spell B-O-R-I-N-G? There's got to be more to this life than school.
Komui found a part-time job nearby. I hope he gets home soon. Right now, this journal is the only thing keeping me company.