Scully's Apartment
Washington, DC
9 pm
Dana Scully opened the door to her apartment building and walked inside. As usual, Scully checked her mail and then walked to elevator. Standing there was Mr. Miike, Scully's neighbor. Seeing him, Scully managed a wan smile. She rarely smiled these days, and although she had always been a withdrawn personality, she was especially quiet now. Scully put it off to her fear about pregnancy, but she knew that it was really something else: Mulder.
Walking toward Mr. Miike, Scully managed for a moment that it was Mulder standing there waiting for her. From the moment, she walked into Mulder's basement office seven years ago, Scully could have hardly imagined how much her life would change. Nor, she thought, as she reached Mr. Miike's side, did she expect to fall in love. After years of working with Mulder, she was surprised to look up one day and see something new about him. Her mother always taught her kids that they would find love in unexpected places and as always, Mom was right.
"Good evening, Dana." said Mr. Miike bowing from the waist.
Scully's smile widens. She always appreciated a man with manners.
"Good evening, Mr. Miike." replied Scully. "How's you grandbaby?"
"She's fine." said Mr. Miike smiling. "She's as beautiful as her mother."
Hearing Mr. Miike speak so highly of his daughter reminded Scully of the ache in her heart for her father. Papa Scully had been dead for six years now and Scully, upon finding out she was pregnant, longed to have her father's steady hand.
The elevator buzzer brought Scully back to the present and Mr. Miike held the door open for her. Scully walked in and Mr. Miike followed. Scully faced forward, but felt Mr. Miike was looking at her critically, but sympathetically.
"How are you feeling, Dana?" asked Mr. Miike. "You look exhausted."
Scully managed a wan smile. "I'm just tired from overwork."
Mr. Miike looked at her sympathetically. "Are you sure it's not your pregnancy?"
Scully looked shocked. She had told no one about her pregnancy and at only three months, she was barely showing. Yet Mr. Miike knew. Scully was so shocked that she could barely register that she and Mr. Miike had reached their floor. Putting his hand on her back, Mr. Miike escorted Scully out of the elevator. Her mind whirling Scully turned to Mr. Miike and asked, "How did you know?"
Laughing Mr. Miike shook his head. "Dana, I've lived through two pregnancies, so I know a pregnant woman when I see one."
Feeling overwhelmed, Scully felt tears begin to form. Ducking her head, she just wanted to go inside and go to bed. Scully fumbled with her keys when Mr. Miike reached around and took them from her. Scully turned to look at him, and this time, Scully let the tears fall freely. Pulling her into his arms, Mr. Miike let Scully cry as much as she needed.
"What are you afraid of Dana?" asked Mr. Miike.
Scully was startled by the question. She was raised not to be afraid of anyone or anything. As an FBI agent, fear was a luxury she could not afford. Yet Mr. Miike was right. She was afraid. Afraid of not being able to do her job. Afraid of losing the X-files. Afraid of never seeing Mulder again. The list went on and on. Scully buried her fear deep; it was the only way to get through her day-to-day life. Looking at Mr. Miike, Dana had to admit that she could not lie to him, so she admitted her biggest fear of all.
"What if I am not good mother?" said Scully quietly. Mr. Miike looked perplexed.
"How could you not be a good mother?" asked Mr. Miike.
Scully could not answer that. She could not tell Mr. Miike about Emily. Scully never forgave herself for not being able to save her daughter's life. While her desire to be a parent was overwhelming, her fear of letting down another childe left her anxiety-ridden about motherhood. With her head on Mr. Miike's chest, Scully heard a distinct rumble. Lifting her head, Scully saw that Mr. Miike was chuckling. For a moment, Scully felt irritated. Why was he laughing? Pulling out his handkerchief, Mr. Miike gently wiped the tears from Dana's face.
"Dana, Dana." he chided. "How can you doubt yourself?" "You are not even a mother yet?"
Looking down at the floor, Scully mumbled. "I just know."
Lifting her chin, Mr. Miike looked Scully in the eye. "Dana." said Mr. Miike in mock seriousness. "Think of the next couple of months as an audition."
"An audition?" quizzed Scully.
"An audition for your new life as a mother." responded Mr. Miike.
"An audition." Said Scully her voice filled with wonder.
Inserting her keys into the lock, Mr. Miike opened the door to Scully's apartment. Handing her keys back to her, Mr. Miike squeezed Scully's shoulders and walked over to his door across the hall.
"Dana" he said softly, causing her to turn. "Remember that life is a series of auditions."
Gently, Mr. Miike shut the door behind him. Dana walked into her own apartment and shut the door. Going over to her desk, Scully grabbed a piece of paper, wrote, "Life is a series of auditions" and pinned the paper to her corkboard next to her computer. She was going to need that reminder in the months to come.